Thieves 2 Lovers

by J. D. Hollyfield

  “So does Roman,” he snorts. “And he’s the CEO.”

  “What?”

  “He does stupid shit when he drinks,” he tells me, humor in his voice. “It’s gotten him in trouble a time or two. Are you in? Can you stop by today and we’ll meet up?”

  I don’t even realize it but I’m already heading to their building. “How about now?”

  Ram laughs. “Eager. I like it. You show up here and after you leave, I’ll tell Stu he’s out. Lazy-ass motherfucker.”

  “Thanks,” I tell him genuinely. “Thanks for giving me a chance.”

  “Everyone deserves their shot at something good.” He laughs again. “Even fuck ups like you and Roman.”

  “Asshole,” I grunt.

  “Bring me coffee, and I’ll tell you what he did,” he offers.

  “You’re on, man. See you in twenty.”

  Dumb Girl. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

  “LOOK AT ME.” CHASE’S FINGERS grip my chin, and I flinch as he tilts my head, forcing me to make eye contact. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

  My nose stings as tears threaten. “There’s no excuse for putting your hands on me, Chase.”

  “And you’re right. I am a louse of a man for touching you like that. But my jealousy got the best of me. To think of someone else getting to touch what’s mine—to imagine Linc and you behind my back—angers me. You’re mine, Pet. Not his. Not anyone else’s.” He sighs and softens his stare. “Tell me you forgive me.”

  Jealousy is no excuse. He can’t talk himself out of this one. “Chase…”

  “Please, Pet,” he begs. “I love you. Let me show you how sorry I am.”

  I close my eyes as he brushes his fingertips down my cheek. I can’t bear to look at him when he spits those tainted words in my face, like that’s going to fix things. His touch feels cold, unlike when Linc had his hands on me. The way his chest felt pressed against my naked one. Pieces of last night have been slowly coming back. The way he carried me into my room. The way he confessed to always wanting to be with me. The comfort I felt knowing he would never hurt me physically or emotionally.

  I shouldn’t have asked him to stay with me, but I needed him. And waking up this morning made me realize that I may need him more than before.

  “Chase, I can’t—”

  Chase places his thumb over my lips, silencing my words. “Don’t make any decisions now. Think about it. Let me show you how much you mean to me. I promise, nothing like that will happen again.” He motions for the roses. “I brought those as a peace offering—to show you just how sorry I was.” Then he smirks. “Besides, you have to forgive me. What will your family say if they find out you broke my heart?”

  His lame attempt at a joke has my mind churning with thoughts. What will my family say? My mother will be heartbroken that I let the best catch—in her eyes—go. My brothers will be mad, thinking I wasted a good thing. No one would believe me if I said Chase was the bad guy.

  Perfect Chase.

  I close my eyes, fighting back tears. He’s right. My family would be disappointed in me.

  “We can work through this,” he assures me in his normal, reasonable Chase way. “Let’s get some dinner later and we can go see that movie you’ve been dying to see.”

  Fight, Reagan. Fight for what you want. Don’t worry about what others will think.

  He leans in and places a small kiss to my forehead. “Maybe we can pick up where we left off that one day on your couch. Please forgive me.” Another kiss to my nose. “This is me begging, Pet. Forgive me.” He places one last kiss to my numb lips and pulls away at the sound of his phone chirping.

  Pulling it from his slacks, he checks the message and steps away. “This is important. We will continue this later. Are we okay?”

  I can’t do anything but stare at him. How can he think we are good? We are most definitely not okay. But how can I just stand here and say nothing? Because I’m a forgiving person and everyone deserves a second chance. Just like Jimmy and Phil and Josh?

  He doesn’t wait for my response. He leans in placing a quick peck to my lips. “I’ll see you at work. Love you.” And then he is walking out of my house.

  I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting back the tears of guilt, shame, disappointment that I couldn’t just stand up to him. I couldn’t tell him we were done. My fists squeeze tight, and I hold my breath trying to fight off the anger inside me. It’s when I break that I know I can’t take any more. I throw my head back and scream. I scream so loud, if my neighbors weren’t old and deaf, they would be concerned.

  Feeling no release, I turn, looking for anything in sight to destroy. I spot the exaggerated array of roses he brought, sitting in the middle of the kitchen table. A peace offering. Well, I’m not feeling very peaceful. Without thought, I storm over to them, and with one swift motion, I toss them off my counter and watch them slowly crash to the floor. The vase shatters instantly as the roses and water flood my kitchen floor.

  I’m heaving, trying to catch my breath as I stare at the mess. I glance at the table where the flowers once stood and I notice the stolen coffee mug holding two vibrant yellow daffodils. I suddenly can’t pull my eyes away.

  Two beautiful flowers.

  Immediately, I know where they came from. My heart begins to steady at the comforting thought of us. Reagan and Linc. Easy. Fun. Best friends. Safe. Thick as thieves.

  The mug makes me laugh because we are thieves. For each other’s heart. Why can’t life be fair? Why does what I want have to be so complicated? Why can’t everyone else see what I see? A man with such a big heart. Wounded by the mistakes he regrets and the dream to be someone better. I don’t see him as the troubled soul he makes himself out to be. I see him as this kind man, who would do anything for the people he loves. A man who has suffered and is aching to be loved. He isn’t your typical white-collar guy who strives for success, has his life together, or demands power. He’s easygoing. He enjoys the simple things in life. Laughs at himself and doesn’t take life too seriously.

  He’s the comfort I crave in a world where everyone expects something of me. To be perfect. Successful to make the right choices, not the choices I want.

  The tears start to flow, causing the vision of these beautiful flowers to fog. “I just want you,” I whisper, admitting it to the ghosts in the room. I want Linc. I want him to be the person I wake up to, the person who makes my days brighter. The one who tells me to be who I want to be and makes sure I stand by it. I want him to be the person who makes me feel whole. And I know he would do just that.

  But I just don’t know how that would affect the people around me. I begin to cry harder, knowing how unfair life is. Will my family accept my decision? Will Linc even accept me? I bend down, not paying attention to the shattered glass, and I try picking up the mess. Red begins to cover my fingers from the sharp edges of the glass, and I don’t even realize the pain until the noticeable amount of blood begins to cover my floor.

  I finish cleaning up the mess, and before walking out of my kitchen, I press my nose to the daffodils, taking in their sweet scent. I have to make a choice. I can’t keep being the person everyone expects me to be. If I do, it will cost me my happiness. Am I willing to sacrifice my own happiness to meet everyone else’s expectations?

  I drive to work in a fog. My eyes burn from crying. My palms sting pressed against my steering wheel from the cuts I got from the glass. I should have called out sick. For all people know, I’m sick. But then again I am sick. Love sick, heart sick, decision sick.

  I get into work and make my way to my office. Passing Ram’s office, I hear laughter. Two familiar voices. I backtrack and lean against the open doorframe while I watch my brother and Linc, my two best friends, laugh and cut up, pointing at some drawings.

  I don’t make myself noticed as I watch them interact with such ease. As if they’ve been friends for a lifetime. Ram compliments Linc on an idea he makes while Linc beams with pride. I swipe the tear that rolls down
my cheek just before Ram lifts his head, catching me as I attempt to sneak away.

  “Hey you,” my brother calls out, concern flickering in his eyes. “Spying on us?”

  I take in a deep breath and plaster a smile on my face. “Of course not. Making sure you two are behaving.”

  Ram seems to examine me and doesn’t miss a beat. “Have you been crying?”

  At that, Linc’s shoulder tense. He’s on alert, and I know he’s about to bolt from his seat to come to my rescue. I quickly offer him the silent, I’m fine look, so he’ll stay calm. “Yeah, I was listening to some sappy audio book. Got to the best part just before I got to work. Stupid romance novels.”

  I know Linc doesn’t believe me. He knows me better. So does Ram. My brother continues to scrutinize me, as if he will get more answers from continuing to assess me. I flash him a wide smile, hiding my emotions. “Okay, well onwards to work I go! Have fun, boys!” I turn to leave but Ram calls my name.

  “Reagan, by the way, Dani is really excited for Saturday. Seems like your beau is going to show us a good time. I think if you don’t marry him, Mom is going to.” He chuckles, but I can’t find it in me to find any humor in the situation.

  I make the cruel mistake of glancing at Linc. His jaw is set tight, and I can see his hands forming into white fists.

  I can’t do this.

  With a wave to them both, I turn and rush to my office.

  I hide in my office for the rest of the day. I tell Clara that I do not want to be disturbed for anything so I don’t have to face Linc when he leaves my brother’s office. I fill my schedule with fake meetings, so when Chase tries to make lunch plans with me, he sees how terribly busy I am.

  And I am busy. Busy trying to figure out my life.

  So far, the best plan is to move to Antarctica and become a deep-sea fisherman, where I don’t even need to worry about having a sex life, because I will smell like raw sea life. Ew. Lesbianism crosses my mind. My new Tumblr girlfriend would make a good companion. But then again, I would probably want more after a while. Five seconds just wouldn’t stay fulfilling forever.

  I go as low as debating internally on marrying Chase and making my whole family proud of me. That only causes me to start crying all over again.

  I think about a life with Linc. A life where my family disowns me and we pick up and travel, doing whatever the heck we want. I venture far enough into my fantasy to where we are naming our three kids when Clara buzzes in, letting me know my two o’clock is ready for me.

  I end up making it through my day, avoiding all my problems, but I know it will be impossible to avoid them once I get home. One reason being that I temporarily live with one of them. Not that Linc is a problem. He is a solution in so many ways. I just don’t know how to make the equation result into a positive one.

  When I finally get home, and see his car isn’t here, I grab some food from my pantry and lock myself in my room. Hours later, I hear him come home. I’m curious where he’s been, but I refuse to give in to my temptations. If I do, I will end up pretending I am dying of an illness and ask to sleep in his bed… Naked because…well, because of the illness.

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  I’m startled from thoughts of us tangled naked under the sheet when he bangs on the door. A quick glance at the clock tells me it’s after nine. I throw my covers over my head so he won’t hear me breathe. As if he has ultrasensitive hearing.

  A few minutes pass and I hear him go into his room, shutting the door. Disappointment settles in my chest as I turn to my side and peek out from the covers. I stare at the wall we share. Such a simple barrier. Even though I refuse to face him right now, a small part of me wishes he’d just bang down my door to see me.

  I swear, a girl’s mind is never sane.

  I lie with the covers pulled to my chin, listening for any movement. I’m curious as to what he’s doing. Is he going straight to bed? Wondering about what I’m doing? Using his fist to work out all the tension we’ve seemed to build between one another since he moved in a few days ago? Okay, perv! My self-reprimanding still doesn’t stop me from thinking it. Maybe I can set my vibrator to low and get off too—

  The chirping of my phone interrupts my grand plan. I grab it off my nightstand and see Linc’s name across my screen.

  Abraham L: I did something today. It was naughty. But also self-fulfilling.

  My emotions jam into my throat. If he is going to share a sex story about him and some woman with me, I don’t know if I can handle it.

  Abraham L: I wanted to show you, but you’re sleeping. If you wake up and want to see it, text me. But I must warn you… Once you see it, you will be considered an accomplice to my naughty ways.

  Now he’s got my attention. I’m unsure if showing me some pictures of him doing something raunchy would make me an accomplice, but now I can’t stop thinking about what it might be. Forgetting I’m sleeping, I send a text back.

  Me: Let me have it.

  Abraham L: Ahhh, Sleeping Beauty is awakened by the lust for being bad. Acknowledge that you are just as naughty if you see it.

  Jesus.

  Me: I acknowledge, just show me.

  Abraham L: No closing your eyes after you’ve seen it. You can’t pretend you didn’t see.

  I roll my eyes as the small smile spreads across my face. Always making such a production.

  Me: Promise. I’m just as naughty as you are.

  Okay, maybe I should have rephrased that last text. Ugh. I toss myself onto my back. Why did I just have to write that—

  Just then the chirp sounds, notifying me of the incoming text. I brace myself for what I’m about to see. If it’s him with another chick, then I’ll probably cry myself to sleep and realize that whatever fantasies I have are just make-believe and move on. I will maybe marry Chase or move to Antarctica, where I can live the reminder of my life in sorrow. I take a deep breath and swipe open the text.

  Abraham L:

  The gasp, then sound of my laughter, echoes throughout my room. The picture is of Linc holding a miniature statue. He did not steal that.

  Me: He’s going to kill you if he finds out you stole that. My mother gave that to him.

  Abraham L: Well then, he kills us both. Accomplices remember? #thieves

  I can’t help but giggle. My mom gave Roman a porcelain statue of a mother and son holding hands for his thirtieth birthday, because yes, he is a big baby. And Roman being the momma’s boy he is, loved it. I swear I even saw a tear when he opened the darn thing. If I’m not mistaken, the real reason his last secretary got fired was because she knocked it off his desk, almost breaking off the son’s head.

  Me: You’re so bad.

  Abraham L: I’d like to consider myself thoughtful. It’s important a garden has a good array of trinkets. Just doing my friendly part for Saturday’s extravaganza.

  I almost forgot about Saturday. The day I’ve been looking forward to ever since I coerced him into helping me. I should cancel. I shouldn’t make him help me when I just plan on moving across the world before the plants even sprout. All that work for nothing. It’s also probably not a good idea for us to be so close to each other. In the September heat, getting dirty as he digs holes shirtless, with his muscles flexing and his tattoos on full display.

  Yeah.

  Bad idea.

  Cancel, Reagan.

  Me: Glad you don’t want to disappoint me. I have high expectations for Saturday.

  Dumb girl.

  Dumb.

  Dumb.

  Dumb.

  It’s clear I enjoy torturing myself. Not only did I not cancel my off-the-record date with Linc, but I spent the remainder of the week egging it on! I did my duty of avoiding both men on Thursday and Friday. But at night, I would lie in bed while Linc sent me text messages of plants he’d researched or trinkets he’d thought would look best for our masterpiece. I about peed myself when he sent over a picture of Roman’s electric shaver—not even wanting to know how he
snatched that—and scolded him for the bath toys he took of Molly’s. I made him put those back, not caring how he did it, but after a good lecture, he said they were no longer part of our plan.

  Now that Saturday has finally rolled around, I can’t stop feeling so antsy. I’m nervous about our day. I can’t explain why. It isn’t a date or anything. It’s just two buddies planting a garden. But it is also the first time I have seen him since Wednesday morning. He was gone when I woke up this morning, claiming that he had to run an errand. It allowed me the time to change my outfit a trillion times, fix my hair double that, and apply four different colors of lip gloss.

  What is wrong with me? I need to calm down.

  But I can’t.

  I’m so nervous.

  And for some completely silly reason, I want to impress Linc.

  I adjust my new peach summer dress—debating on whether or not it’s the one—when I hear his car pull into the driveway. “Oh, heck. You’re being ridiculous.” I pull myself away from my mirror and greet him at the door.

  As soon as I open the door, his green eyes skim over my appearance. A dimple forms on one side as he grins crookedly at me. God, that smile always does me in.

  “Well, look at you,” he says and winks at me. “A blossoming peach on a hot summer day.” Linc gives me a playful whistle as he carries in a tray of coffee and a bag of donuts from our favorite small café a few blocks from my house.

  “Oh, this thing? It’s old and I didn’t want to ruin any of my good clothes.”

  Linc shrugs his shoulders as he saunters into the kitchen. “New or not, it looks sexy on you.”

  I can hear the appreciation in his voice and it’s anything but joking. Heat floods through me. I blush at his back, the compliment making me practically dizzy on my feet. I begin walking after him when I see something hanging from my side. My eyes widen, a small cuss word leaving my lips as I rip the store tag off the dress. I crumble it up and stick it in my pocket. “So… Um, what should we do first? I assume start tilling.”

  Linc drops the items on my counter and pulls out one of the delicious-looking donuts from the bag. He turns offering me his dangerous, dimpled smile, the one that probably burns the panties off all women, and slowly stalks over to me. My heartrate quickens and my body temperature sky-rockets.