Her Last Wild Ride

by Abby Green

We looked at each other for a long moment, the water still beating down around us relentlessly. I steeled myself against that rogue pang of emotion, but it didn’t come.

  Johnny smiled, and it was lopsided, sexy and cocky all at once. He reached for and gently pulled a strand of long hair that was curled down around my breast.

  He looked at me and said gruffly, “Next time we make it to a bed. I want you lying down with your legs spread so that I can fuck you with my mouth until you’re screaming for mercy, and more.”

  Chapter Seven

  When Johnny got to the bar the next day and parked outside he almost felt reluctant to go in, in spite of the lust that held him in a grip so tight his jaw ached.

  One thing was for sure—what had happened between him and Ashling the previous evening had not been like any kind of sex he’d had before. It had blown him apart and left him feeling as if a layer of skin had been ripped from his body.

  Already he could sense that the more he had of her, the more he’d want. His hands wrapped around his steering wheel. Knuckles white. He battled with the urge to just drive, escape again, get lost. Avoid dealing with stuff...like the past.

  His modus operandi since coming to the States had been to avoid anything too deep at all costs, and this was already too deep for comfort.

  But the pull to see Ashling again was stronger, drowning everything else out. For a second he hated her for it. But then he smiled to himself wryly, recalling last night. She certainly hadn’t been all over him in that postcoital way most women were. He’d had to insist on taking her home.

  His smile faded. After the shower, she’d gone quiet, and she’d been tight-lipped and avoiding his eye when she’d said good night outside Candy’s apartment block.

  Johnny gritted his jaw. Fuck his reservations. This was just amazing chemistry. No way was he going to let her run scared now. They weren’t done by a long shot.

  In less than two weeks his past would be rushing headlong to meet him when his baby sister returned to New York. But in the meantime...the only way to get through this, remain sane and come out the other side to relative normality again was to go along for the ride, however long and wild it was.

  * * *

  I knew when Johnny walked in because the hairs stood up on the back of my neck and my insides turned to mush. Damn him. By the time he’d left me home last night I’d been facing the very unpalatable fact that sex with him was far too addictive and intense.

  Those little flares of emotion that had gripped me? Not a good sign. Far too close to what had happened when Steve had ripped all my defenses apart. My little plan to confirm for myself that my judgment wasn’t totally skewed was taking a big hit.

  I was smart enough to know that if I didn’t end it now I might get burned in a way I had never been before. Johnny was touching a part of me that shouldn’t be affected if this was just about down and dirty sex. One last wild ride.

  I’d always enjoyed a healthy sex life and considered myself to be pretty experienced, but last night had shown me that on some level I’d always held something back, even with Steve.

  With Johnny though, I’d had no sense of being able to hold anything back. With one touch he’d reached in and taken everything I was offering and more, and it scared the hell out of me. Even as I was honest enough to admit I wanted more.

  I’d called Jenna that morning to fess up and try to get her to remind me of what was important but she’d squealed down the phone, “You did Hottie McHotness?”

  And after being subjected to a very lengthy and intense questioning, she’d proved my own suspicions right and fessed up herself. She did have her eye on a surfer dude. And now all bets were off thanks to my pathetic inability to keep my pants on. Actually, I had kept my pants on, not that it had done me much good.

  And that only reminded me of how Johnny had yanked them aside roughly to thrust inside me. Crap.

  He came up behind me then, close, and pulled my hair aside so he could press a kiss to the back of my neck. I steeled myself and turned around to come face-to-face with a T-shirt-clad broad chest and fresh, sexy male smell.

  I looked up and nearly forgot everything when I saw his clean-shaven jaw and those slumberous, dangerous blue eyes. I swallowed, and that only reminded me of swallowing his climax in the shower. Fuck.

  I started speaking before he could scramble my brain completely. “Listen, I think it’s best if we just call this a day. You really don’t have to help out here. It’s not right, working for nothing. And what happened last night...let’s just leave it at a one-off.”

  Those dark blue eyes snapped and narrowed on mine. I gulped. Candy had been playing Kings of Leon all day and “Your sex is on fire” blared out now, mocking me again.

  As if reading my mind, Johnny only came closer and said, “Do you hear that? They’re playing our song.”

  I put my hands to his chest and tried to push, but he was like steel, and his hands went to my waist. My clit pulsed, recognizing the presence of the magician who had brought it such pleasure. Traitor.

  I tried again, but my voice sounded weak to my own ears. “You know this isn’t ideal. Especially not when our own brother and sister are going out together. Liam will probably try to rip you limb from limb.”

  Something flashed in Johnny’s eyes, but he just smirked and said, “I’ve faced down overprotective brothers before. And anyway, who’s to say I won’t want to deck him for going out with my baby sister?”

  It stung somewhere it shouldn’t at the mention of facing down overprotective brothers of his previous lovers. I said snarkily, “Well, it sounds to me like you haven’t much cared up to now.”

  As soon as the thoughtless words were out I wanted to claw them back. Johnny abruptly let me go to step back, his body suddenly rigid with rejection. “I see. It’s like that, is it? The stories are already spreading about me and how I abandoned my family?”

  I felt sick with remorse. I put out a hand and grabbed his T-shirt. “I’m sorry. I had no right to say that. I wasn’t even interested in listening to what Candy was saying.”

  Johnny just took my hand off his T-shirt. My belly swooped with that awful sickening sensation when something really bad happens. He looked so icy and distant, like a stranger. Like the taciturn guy who’d come in here the first night. Everything in me rejected it now, showing me just how quickly he’d got under my skin, and how flimsy my desire to end this really was.

  Just then Candy appeared, on her way out of the bar. I looked at her blankly, and as spiky as ever she said, “Sorry to burst your intense sexual tension buzz, guys. Ash, I put the keys to Liam’s apartment back in the usual spot. Smell ya later. Be good!”

  And with a salacious wink, she was gone, seemingly oblivious to the fact that it wasn’t a sexual tension buzz between us. More like an arctic wind.

  I looked back reluctantly and Johnny’s cold eyes were narrowed on me. “I thought you said you didn’t have a key to the apartment.”

  Shit.

  My mouth opened but he didn’t give me a chance to say anything. His lip curled. “Don’t worry, I get it. Why bring me up to the apartment? Afraid I’d get notions of wanting to stay over and cuddle? No, better to keep it down and dirty in the staff room in case I got any ideas.”

  His scathing glance seared me alive. “You could have saved yourself the discomfort of going on your knees in the shower stall, sweetheart. More comfortable surroundings wouldn’t have changed anything. And you know what? You’re right. I am a sucker to be helping out here for nothing. I’ll take the sexual favors you gave me last night in lieu of payment and let’s call it quits, yeah?”

  He had turned and was walking out before my shocked, sluggish brain could catch up. But by the time I got to the door I saw only the taillights of his Buick before they disappeared around the corner.

  *
* *

  Johnny knew he shouldn’t be feeling so angry. Or so hurt. Where the fuck had that come from? Hurt should not be part of the equation. But the thought of Ashling and Candy discussing him, wondering about him, about why he would do such a thing—leave his sisters behind—made him feel unbelievably raw and betrayed. Ashamed.

  The past wasn’t just nipping at his heels now. It was snarling and threatening to take great big chunks out of him.

  Something in him hated that Ashling might judge him for abandoning his sisters, and he knew it was only because he’d already judged himself for it. And even though it had lessened over the past few years, knowing that he’d be seeing Caitlin soon was bringing it all up again. It would take reconnecting with her, and Mary, before he’d feel any measure of real peace.

  And then there was the revelation that Ashling hadn’t wanted to take him up to the apartment above the bar because it was too personal. That flayed him nearly worse. He screeched to a stop at a red light, jaw tight.

  Her voice mocked him. Let’s just leave it at a one-off. So what? She’d had her dirty little ride with Caitlin’s errant brother? And now she was done?

  Well, damn her to hell. He was done, too. Ashling Sullivan had taken up far too much of his mental energy, and no woman occupied that place. He’d let her get way too close already.

  * * *

  It was after midnight by the time I’d locked up early and taken Liam’s precious motorbike out of storage and driven it over the Williamsburg Bridge to Johnny’s apartment in Brooklyn. Now I sat outside the address and saw only the dimmest of lights and felt like a fool.

  If nothing else, though, I owed him an apology, and I was not going to duck that. I got off the bike then took off my helmet and put it away. Taking a deep breath, I rang the bell with Ryan beside it.

  For a long time nothing happened. I rang again. And then I had lurid visions of Johnny in bed with someone else. Erasing me from his memory in the most effective way. Just when I was giving up hope, a window on the first floor opened. I stepped back, and the breath left my body when I saw him leaning out on two arms, his torso naked.

  I could see his scowl from here. “What do you want?”

  My gut twisted. “I wanted to apologize.”

  He said nothing, just looked down at me for a long moment and then drew back in and closed the window. A clear rejection. I wasn’t prepared for the hurt that lanced me. Even as I guessed I deserved it, if he believed what he did, however erroneously.

  Giving up, I went back to the bike and took the helmet out again. I was about to put it on when I heard a door open behind me and turned around, heart in my mouth, to see Johnny standing there, arms folded, jeans slung dangerously low on his hips, the top button open.

  “How did you find me?”

  “I looked through Liam’s notebook to find the number of the PI who tracked you down.”

  Johnny smiled and it was harsh. “Enterprising of you. Did you have a nice in-depth chat about me? Discover any more choice pieces of gossip?”

  “Look, I never should have said that earlier. It wasn’t fair, or right.”

  Johnny laughed and it was as harsh as his smile. “It is right—that’s the problem.”

  There was nothing but loaded silence for a long moment as I tried not to be desperately aware of Johnny’s naked chest and his tousled sleep-rough hair. And then he stood back and said nothing.

  More hesitant than I’d ever been in my life, I moved forward and past him into a narrow corridor. He shut the door behind him and gestured silently to the stairs. I went up and was very conscious of my biker boots, jeans, loose T-shirt and short leather jacket.

  There was one door at the top of the stairs ajar. I went in, surprised to see a huge open-plan loft apartment with big industrial-style windows overlooking the street.

  A kitchen was in one corner and a huge soft leather couch with a throw over it was in another. Dominating the other end of the room was a massive bed with rumpled sheets and a wooden headboard.

  I guessed that a small annex off to the side was the bathroom.

  I heard the door snick shut behind me and turned around to see Johnny lean back against it, mean and dangerous. He put out a hand and I handed him the bike helmet silently. He put it down on the floor by the door and straightened up again.

  “Well, Ash? Are you here because you want to fuck some more after all?”

  I winced. “No. I mean...” Yes. Jesus. Yes. Desire mixed with shame mixed with self-recrimination swirled in my gut.

  I felt exposed under his cool, judgmental gaze.

  “The key...the key to the apartment. I want to explain about that.”

  Johnny folded his arms. “Go on then.”

  I sucked in a breath. “I do have a key for the apartment, and we could have gone up there last night. But the truth is that I don’t go up there, ever. Not if I can help it.”

  His brows drew together. “Why not?”

  I swallowed. “Because it’s where we grew up, me and Liam. And it’s where...” I faltered, looking for any tiny sign that Johnny didn’t hate my guts so maybe I wouldn’t have to spill mine. Nothing.

  I took a breath. “It’s where our parents tore each other to shreds over and over again. Fights, rows, sometimes even physical abuse. My father drank more and more as the marriage broke apart. He’s an alcoholic now.”

  I shrugged minutely, face hot. “It’s got bad memories for me. That apartment and then moving to LA with my mother...it was a rough time. I don’t like going up there because it brings it all back. Even though Liam’s done it up and knocked down walls, I just...can’t.”

  Johnny uncrossed his arms. I couldn’t see the expression in his eyes but then he pushed off the door and came toward me. When I saw his face, my heart lurched, but it wasn’t pity in his expression. Or anger anymore.

  “That’s why you’re not staying there?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  “Who hurt you?” he asked then as if what I’d just revealed wasn’t enough. I considered trying to bluff my way out of it but Johnny’s gaze was too intense.

  I looked away, feeling tight inside. But not hurt anymore. Just angry. “It was a guy I was working with on the last film. It turned out he was married with a baby and I didn’t know.”

  I looked at Johnny, feeling fierce. “I don’t do relationships, but he...he got to me. And then when I found out he was married...” I trailed off, the humiliation still vivid.

  “I can imagine,” Johnny said now with a grim voice.

  For a second I thought he was judging me and felt a sharp pain lance me somewhere very vulnerable, but then he came closer and I could see that it was something else. Empathy.

  He cupped my jaw with his palm and without saying another word I could sense that he got it. All of it. My parents’ mangled mess of a marriage and the pain of letting someone get too close. The ground was unsteady beneath my feet for a moment, as if I was on a ship.

  “You ran scared last night, Ash...and earlier. If you want to leave, now’s your chance, I don’t play games and I don’t beg. So what’s it to be?”

  I knew the answer. I’d already stepped over another line by coming here tonight, without even really thinking about what I was doing. It had been as necessary as breathing. I wanted him again too badly.

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to go. Unless you want me to.”

  He shook his head slowly and said, “No way.” When he spoke again his voice was low. “Do you know how fucking hot you look? And how sexy it is that you came here on a motorbike?”

  The tight knot inside me eased. “Do you have a bike and leather fetish?”

  “Let’s just say that you’re taking me for a ride sometime.”

  Something light and almost giddy pierced me. If I hadn’t been so happy
that Johnny wasn’t still looking at me with that icy expression I might have been worried.

  “And what about tonight?”

  His mouth quirked. Sexy again. “Oh yeah, we’re riding tonight, too, but we don’t need the bike for that.”

  He tugged me toward him and slipped his hands into my jacket to push it off my shoulders and down my arms. I let it drop to the floor and shivered minutely as anticipation washed over me in a rush.

  Then he pulled me right into him so that our bodies were welded together. I could feel the thick ridge of his erection between us, and just like that, my panties were soaking. He cupped my face and bent his head to kiss me. I shoved down any hint of emotion. This wasn’t about that. This was just physical.

  I wound my arms around his neck and pressed closer. I wanted to climb into his skin. He tasted so hot and sexy, tongue rough and demanding, stroking and thrusting, just like his hips were thrusting toward me.

  He took his hands away from my face and smoothed them down the sides of my body, all the way until he had a big hand on each buttock, fingers spread and molding my flesh, cupping my ass. Then he lifted me with awesome ease and my legs went automatically around his hips.

  We broke apart, breathing harshly. I could look down into his face from here, and his eyes were so dark they looked black. Something made me blurt out, “Let’s just take this one fuck at a time, okay?”

  I held my breath. All I could feel were his big hands on my ass and the hard thrust of his dick at the juncture of my legs, his hair short and silky in my fingers.

  His chest rumbled against mine. “Absolutely, Ash. That’s all we both want. Nothing more, nothing less.”

  Something inside me eased. I kissed him again. Luxuriating in the feel of him, so strong and male. I vowed then that I’d savor every moment of this last wild ride and have no regrets when it was over. My protection was in knowing that Johnny Ryan wanted exactly the same thing.

  Chapter Eight

  Johnny took off Ashling’s boots and threw them somewhere behind him. Now she lay back on his bed, hair in a glorious tangle of dark gold around her head, T-shirt riding up, a sexy glint in her eyes.