Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters)

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Ida let out a long breath. “I guess being Daett’s son-in-law will make them even closer.”

  A hint of a smile played on Mamm’s face. “I suppose so. But tell me, Ida, does it bother you that you have so little feelings for the man?”

  Ida let out a little gasp before asking, “Why do you say that?”

  Mamm shrugged. “You cared so much for Melvin, and I don’t suppose the heart changes that quickly.”

  Ida hesitated for only a moment. “Ben said the most wonderful things about me, Mamm. Even when I insisted that all of Melvin’s children must come live with us after the wedding.”

  “So… ” Mamm studied Ida’s face. “So is this all about Melvin’s children then? That’s why you want to marry him?”

  Ida reached over for Mamm’s hand. “There’s nothing wrong with that, is there? Wanting to mother Melvin’s children… and Ben’s too, of course?”

  Mamm clucked her tongue. “Nee, Ida, there’s nothing wrong with that. No one says our hearts must pound when we accept a man’s hand in marriage. But surely you have some feelings for the man? I know you have respect for him. And it certainly sounds like you made it plain what you wanted. That took courage. Does he love you for that, Ida?”

  Remembering their kiss, heat rose up Ida’s neck. She was sure her whole face was aflame with color. There was no way she would admit to kissing Ben and how he’d embraced her with such passion. “I already told you he said nice things,” Ida said. “I believe he loves me, Mamm.”

  “As he should.” Mamm snorted. “You’re a decent girl, Ida. The beauty you have goes all the way to the heart. I’m glad you’re getting a husband who understands that. And may Da Hah give you a love between each other that makes both of you happy. On my part, I believe Da Hah will.”

  “Da Hah already has,” Ida whispered. “Much more than I expected.”

  Mamm regarded her daughter for a moment. “How are we going to do this wedding of yours what with all the other things going on this fall?”

  Ida felt a moment of panic. “Maybe we don’t have to have one? We could just say the vows on a Sunday at the service. I’m sure Ben would understand.”

  Mamm gave Ida a quick glare. “Wipe that plan out of your mind, Ida. No daughter of mine is saying vows without a proper wedding. That is…” Mamm’s face darkened as the sounds of a car pulling into the driveway reached them. “That is unless she goes Englisha. Help us, dear Hah. I think Lois just arrived.”

  “I’ll go let her in.” Ida rose and went to the front door.

  Lois’s face glowed when Ida opened the door. Thankfully Lois had on a dress that came down well past her knees. Any little thing will help this morning. She saw Lois was carrying a satchel. “Leave the photographs outside, Lois, and come on in.”

  Lois pouted. “How do you know I’ve brought pictures?”

  “Because I know you.” Ida gave her a stern glare.

  “It’s a laptop computer with pictures on it,” Lois corrected. Her face changed to reflect total happiness. “And so many lovely ones, Ida! Of the ocean, and the beach, and of the absolutely wunderbah place we stayed…and of Doug all glowing and happy because I’m his frau. Aren’t you even a little, teeny-weeny-bit curious, Ida?”

  Ida stood firm. “I see you can still speak German. And it’s not about being curious, Lois. It’s about resisting temptation. Something you should have taken to heart a long time ago.”

  More pout showed on Lois’s face. “And miss Cancun, and Doug, and my wunderbah life out there? How can you even think that, Ida? You should experience it for yourself. Then you’d know what you’re missing.”

  It was useless to argue, Ida decided. She might as well change the subject. Ida pointed at the porch. “It stays out here. If you’re interested in anything besides yourself, you might like to know that Verna had her baby—a girl! Her name is Sarah Mae. I helped take care of her for the first week. She’s beautiful!”

  Lois leaned her satchel against the outside wall of the house. She grabbed Ida and gave her a long hug. “That is wunderbah news! Mamm’s first grandchild from us girls. I hope to give her one myself before long. Did you know that Doug’s very open to having a boppli once I’m out of college? Though not too many, he said. He doesn’t want that part of my Amish heritage brought with me!”

  Ida blushed and looked away. She didn’t want to hear about her sister’s family plans. Lois was Englisha now, and she’d obviously taken to their ways like a duck to water. That wasn’t a surprise.

  Lois walked into the house and made her way to the kitchen. “It’s so gut to see you, Mamm! I had such a wunderbah time down in Mexico on my honeymoon!”

  Ida arrived to find Lois with her arms wrapped around Mamm’s neck. Mamm hugged her daughter and then held her at arm’s length. “I don’t see any picture packages, for which I’m thankful. At least you have some decency and respect for our ways left in you.”

  Lois frowned. “I brought some, but Ida made me leave them at the door.”

  Mamm groaned. “Won’t you ever learn, Lois? But do sit down and tell us about your week—wherever you were.”

  Lois’s face glowed as she took the offered chair. Ida and Mamm sat down also.

  Excitedly, Lois shared, “Mamm, there were stunning sunrises on the ocean. It was like nothing I’ve ever seen. At night we walked out to the water to watch and hear the waves come in. They climbed around our bare feet, ever higher and higher. Doug loves me, Mamm, like no Amish man ever did. I can’t tell you how happy I am.”

  Mamm clucked and said, “That’s because you never had the sense to let a man from the community love you. You chased them away with all your talk about how you loved the Englisha world.” Mamm sighed. “But Doug is your husband now, and we will live with it. Your children will now be lost to the world, I suppose. Do you care about that?”

  Lois placed a finger across her mamm’s lips. “Let’s not be dark today, okay? Let’s be happy and joyful and thankful. I have so much to be thankful for.” Lois clapped her hands. “And Ida said Verna has a baby! I’ll have to stop in on my way home and take a peek. I’m sure little Sarah Mae is just a darling. Verna couldn’t have anything but wunderbah children.”

  Mamm glanced at Ida. “So you told her about the baby. Did you tell her about your wedding?”

  Lois gasped and stared at her sister. “Ida, you’re getting married? To whom?”

  “To Minister Kanagy,” Mamm said. “We were just ready to plan the wedding when you drove in. Do you want to help?”

  Lois fanned herself. “Let me get my wits about me first. Ida is marrying that stern old man? It’s so hard to believe. Ida, is it really true?”

  “Yah, it’s true. And he’s not stern on the inside,” Ida protested. She remembered Ben’s kind gaze in Verna’s upstairs bedroom. She blushed at the memory.

  Lois stared at Ida. “And you think I’m weird.”

  “Don’t say that, Lois,” Mamm spoke up. “Ida’s making her choice for very decent and honorable reasons. She and Ben will be taking in Melvin’s children. Now that’s the kind of choice a Christian woman makes. She doesn’t set her heart on trips to Mexico with an Englisha husband.”

  Lois shivered. “Minister Kanagy kissing a woman? The very thought! Da Hah help us.”

  Ida glared at Lois. “There’s nothing wrong with his kisses!” She immediately realized what she’d admitted and turned as red as a beet.

  A sly smile crossed Lois’s face. “Aha! So you’ve kissed him already!”

  Before Ida could salvage the situation, Mamm took charge. “No more talk like this, the both of you. Are you going to help with the planning, Lois?”

  “Of course!” Lois settled into the kitchen chair. “Fire away.”

  As they talked, Ida noticed that Lois kept giving her quick glances accompanied by smiles. It was as if her sister realized what she was doing for Melvin’s children. I think she admires my courage, Ida thought. And that courage had led to the kiss with Ben. Ida smiled as s
he remembered the kiss…

  Nineteen

  On Thursday morning Debbie was up and in the kitchen before either Saloma or Ida stirred. She lit the fire in the cookstove and set the water to boil. The threshing crew would need plenty of coffee all day long, especially at lunchtime. Yah, today was the big day when the men would make their annual stop at the Beiler farm to put up the corn. By dusk tonight the Beilers hoped to have their silo filled to the brim. And that meant an early start for everyone.

  Debbie had awakened an hour ago. Unable to fall back to sleep from the excitement, she decided to get up. Alvin would be on the threshing crew, she was sure. She hadn’t dared ask whether Paul would also come. That would likely have encouraged Ida to ask how things had gone with Alvin Sunday evening. Thankfully Ida was wrapped up in her own wedding plans.

  The truth was that Debbie wasn’t sure how to think about what had gone on last Sunday. Crystal was still around, presumably visiting her relatives, but she was also attending the community’s services and hymn singings. But Crystal wasn’t the problem—at least when it came to Alvin. Something else wasn’t quite right though, Debbie thought. Although they both had tried hard to make it a pleasant time, there was obvious tension. She’d thought everything had gone quite well… until after Alvin had left. Then the dark thoughts had crept back in—thoughts about Mildred Schrock being in such close proximity to Alvin. And Debbie had been shocked about her own feelings when it came to Emery. His fascination with Crystal bothered her a great deal.

  Debbie forced her odd thoughts away. This was to be a cheerful day, full of excitement and joy. She would not spoil it. Already she’d done all she could to help make things run smoothly around the Beiler household. She’d offered to stay home from work an extra day yesterday to help with the large noon meal, but Saloma would hear nothing of it.

  “One day off your job is enough.” Saloma gave her a stern look followed by a smile. “We appreciate you taking one day off to help us.”

  Saloma probably knew her real reason for wanting the day off—so she could watch the activities. Since Debbie hadn’t been raised Amish, seeing events such as this close-up hadn’t occurred very often. Debbie smiled as she thought of Verna and baby Sarah Mae. They would both be here. Verna had stopped by yesterday with the boppli for a few moments after Debbie had arrived home from her job at Destiny Relocation Services. Verna insisted she’d be back today to help. Saloma had made a fuss, of course.

  “You shouldn’t even be out yet,” Saloma had lectured. “Let alone coming to help with the silage filling.”

  “Now, Mamm,” Verna had chided, “you know it’s time for me to get back to my regular routine. If it makes you happier, I’ll sit in the rocker all day and watch. But I’m coming.”

  Saloma had given in after that. Although there wasn’t much she could do if Verna showed up—just as Saloma couldn’t do anything if Lois showed up. Ida had dropped a wistful sigh yesterday about Lois not liking the gut things of Amish life, so maybe she shouldn’t be here anyway. “But at least she’s coming to my wedding,” Ida had added. “I can’t give her any special part being my witness like I wish I could.” Ida hadn’t gone on to say who her witness would be, but the decision would have to be made soon.

  Debbie paused as sounds stirred from upstairs. Either Emery or Ida must have gotten up to begin the chores. Debbie took kitchen duty on most mornings in her feeble attempt to fill Lois’s space. That was impossible, of course. She didn’t come close to Lois’s cooking abilities, but the Beiler family didn’t complain. Even Emery stayed quiet, and he was the one who would most likely speak up if things weren’t just right.

  She wondered what Emery thought of how she cooked. He would be too gentlemanly to complain, and he probably didn’t want to hurt her feelings. It was the rare Englisha girl who could match the cooking Emery was used to. Debbie wasn’t sure she fit those shoes. Did Crystal know how to cook? But maybe Emery would sacrifice food for love. That was, if Emery would consider an ex-Englisha girl as a future frau. Nee, he wouldn’t. And these were outrageous thoughts to have anyway. Why was she acting jealous of Emery’s interest in Crystal? She must stop such thoughts! But how could she when she was sure she saw an extra gleam in Emery’s eye in his unguarded moments. She recognized the signs of awakening love. Yah, unless she missed her guess, love was stirring in Emery’s heart—and Crystal was to blame.

  Debbie jumped when Saloma spoke behind her. “Gut morning! You’re already up.”

  “I couldn’t sleep.” Debbie smiled. “I’m too excited about the silo filling.”

  “Well, it’s going to be a big day, there’s no question about that.” Saloma bustled about the kitchen.

  Morning bustling was something Debbie still hadn’t grasped. An Amish woman could wake up early and hurry about at once. More than likely, this came from a lifetime of habitual early rising, something Debbie hadn’t acquired in her childhood. She would learn though, she told herself as she picked up her speed. And she would make a decent frau for Alvin once they said the wedding vows. And she would say the vows with Alvin. With what they’d both been through, they should be able to weather any storm Mildred Schrock or anybody else cooked up.

  Moments later Ida appeared with Emery and her daett close behind. They mumbled their “gut mornings,” pulled on their overcoats and boots in the washroom, and then plunged out into the darkness with their gas lanterns. Debbie paused for a moment to watch the bobbing lights vanish through the barn doorway. A thought ran through her mind that left a chilly trail in its wake. Did Mildred’s duties at the Knepp farm include helping with the morning chores?

  They would almost have to, Debbie decided. Alvin had been doing the chores alone with close to as many animals to take care of as what the three Beiler family members handled together. In extreme cases, Emery or Bishop Beiler did the chores by themselves, but it took much longer. Likely Mildred was in the barn with Alvin right now. Mildred would be hard at work with Alvin under the hissing light of the gas lanterns. Alvin couldn’t help but be affected by such close help from his former beloved. Was that, perhaps, the real reason Alvin had agreed to Mildred’s care for his mother in the first place?

  But Alvin had said nothing on Sunday evening about Mildred helping with chores, Debbie reminded herself. Surely he would have been honest if Mildred spent much time in the barn with him. He would know where that could lead… wouldn’t he? Especially now that Mildred had so clearly shown a renewed interest in him? Granted things had been a little less obvious with Mildred at the services now that Alvin was dating Debbie, but the gleam was still there in Mildred’s eyes.

  “Debbie!” Saloma’s call made her jump again. “Will you watch the bacon?”

  “Of course!” Debbie rushed over to the stove. She had to stop this jealousy of Alvin and Mildred! She trusted Alvin like he would trust her. And it was a disgrace for an Amish woman to get distracted in her own kitchen. She obviously had a lot to learn.

  Debbie turned the pieces of bacon frequently, soon bringing them to the golden perfection the Beiler family liked. Debbie lifted them out with her fork—all but two pieces that needed a few more seconds. As she waited, thoughts of Alvin returned. With Ida marrying so soon, could she and Alvin do the same? It might be good to say the vows soon so all her foolish imaginings would stop. And yet it wasn’t up to her. Alvin hadn’t really said anything firm about marriage.

  Debbie glanced at the bacon pan and gasped. She pulled the last two pieces of bacon out, but they were burned a deep brown and would be uneatable—at least by Beiler standards. “I burned them!” she said aloud.

  “That’s what comes from not getting your sleep,” Saloma offered with a smile. Saloma was teasing, but it didn’t help Debbie’s feelings. She had to get control of herself. This was an important day for the Beiler family, and she was supposed to help—not be a distraction. She quickly set aside the two pieces of bacon for herself and helped move the food to the table.

  They’d just finished sprea
ding the table when Ida came in from the chores. She put on an apron and helped fill the water glasses. When Emery and Bishop Beiler arrived, they seated themselves, followed by the women. Debbie took her place along the back bench across from Emery. He gave her a quick smile before they bowed their heads in prayer.

  “Now unto You, O God, we give thanks again,” Bishop Beiler led out. “To You, our most gracious and merciful Father. Bless our home this day and the food the women have prepared. Give grace to their hearts for all the hard work they do and will be doing today. Be with us men as we try to supply the needs of the farm. Give us all protection and safety. We give You thanks as always. Amen.”

  Debbie passed the bacon to Emery, followed by the eggs. He took what he wanted and passed the plate on to his father. What went on in Emery’s head? Debbie wondered. Soon she would get up enough nerve to ask him again about Crystal. Perhaps sometime when she could catch him alone in the barn. Not today, of course, but soon. Maybe she could yet prove her usefulness to Bishop Beiler and warn Emery of what might lie ahead if he had thoughts of being interested in an Englisha woman.

  Bishop Beiler interrupted her thoughts. “So Mamm tells me you’re staying home to help today, Debbie.”

  “Yes! It’s an exciting day for me,” Debbie said, choosing to sound upbeat.

  “We’ll put you on the wagons,” Emery said with a grin, obviously teasing.

  “I can try that!” Debbie offered, though she wasn’t sure what work on the wagons entailed.

  Bishop Beiler smiled. “We’d best leave that work to the men. Throwing corn bundles on and off can be quite a chore.”

  “You can keep us supplied with plenty of lemonade and coffee.” This came from Emery. “That might be more appropriate for a woman.”