Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters)

by Jerry S. Eicher

  On the buggy seat beside her Emery must have read her mind. He turned and asked, “What did you tell Crystal last week anyway?”

  “I said only what needed saying, Emery.”

  He grinned and lapsed into silence.

  She ventured a look in his direction. “I wish you hadn’t been tempted by her.”

  “Who says I was?” Emery asked, sober-faced now.

  Debbie took a deep breath. “Please don’t be tempted to see her or ask her to stay, Emery. She knows what’s best.”

  Emery nodded. “I agree. But honestly, I’m not tempted. Crystal said she was considering joining the community. She liked the peace and harmony we have and I believed her.”

  Debbie grimaced. “Would she have done it, Emery? I think we both know better. She only wanted to steal you away.”

  He grinned again. “No one’s stealing me.”

  “That’s gut to hear.” Debbie tried to breathe evenly. She’d said way too much. Thankfully Emery didn’t appear offended. “I care about you, Emery. I care about you a lot. I couldn’t sit by and watch Crystal destroy your life.”

  “Nothing was happening,” he protested as they arrived at the Kanagy home place. “But thanks for caring.”

  “I’m glad you think so,” Debbie said as she climbed out of the buggy. She reached in and gave his hand a squeeze and smiled warmly. He smiled in return and drove on toward the barn.

  Debbie paused to catch her breath before she went inside the washroom. She’d ventured where angels feared to tread for the sake of Emery and had survived by the mercy of God. Beyond that, she’d better not go.

  Debbie stepped inside the kitchen to find a roomful of girls spilling into the living room. All of the couple matchups for the evening had been done, she guessed. Two boys with notepads still hung around the front door looking for stragglers like Emery and herself. One of them headed out the door toward Emery while the other glanced her direction. He looked down at his pad and smiled. She had no reason to feel embarrassed. Phillip Kanagy was going to take her to the table tonight. It was an honor to be chosen ahead of time. With her inappropriate thoughts about Emery, she ought to let go tonight and get lost in Phillip’s awesome smile, in his understanding of her feelings, in his instinctual touch he seemed to have. Wasn’t that what she wanted? A man who understood her for once? Who didn’t have to be led along and encouraged constantly like Alvin Knepp and wasn’t impossible like Emery?

  Debbie’s thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Phillip among the crowd of men outside the barn. She caught only a momentary glimpse through the kitchen window. He was as handsome as ever. He seemed so perfect! Can anyone be perfect? She’d heard there was a problem within the Kanagy family. Perhaps Phillip was the black sheep? Had he done something to cause a rift? Minister Kanagy’s piercing looks during her months of instruction classes flashed in front of Debbie’s eyes. It wouldn’t take much to earn Minister Kanagy’s disapproval. Ida claimed Ben had a kind heart underneath all that strictness, but that didn’t mean he would slack off when it came to church matters and discipline.

  Debbie sighed. All this was just to avoid thinking about Emery, which wouldn’t work anyway.

  Debbie pressed through the crowd in the kitchen and moved into the living room looking for Ida. After searching downstairs, she went upstairs. The first bedroom door was ajar, and Debbie peeked in. Ida was on the bed beside the youngest of Melvin’s children, little Lisa, who was fast asleep. Ida noticed Debbie and smiled. She put her finger to her lips before tiptoeing out into the hallway.

  “The poor thing is just exhausted,” Ida whispered. “I’ll wake her in a minute since supper’s about ready to start.”

  Debbie nodded. Ida was clearly in her element now, surrounded as she was by eight children. If there had been any doubt that Ida was up to the task, they’d been vanquished in the two weeks since the wedding.

  Ida spoke softly. “How’s things going with Phillip?”

  “Okay, I guess.” Debbie forced a smile.

  Ida glanced away. “I’m not getting involved this time, Debbie, I’ve worked so hard for so long encouraging you to accept Paul’s attentions. And you never would consider it. I figured it was time I stopped.”

  Debbie considered this for a moment. “Well, I know you care about me. But I still want to hear what you think. Don’t ever be afraid of advising me. You’re like a sister to me, you know.”

  Ida smiled. “I won’t. I care deeply about you. I do have my hands full now with a husband and eight children. In matters of the heart, I’m afraid you’ll have to make up your own mind. My advice? Just follow your heart. It led you to us, didn’t it? And Da Hah will keep you on the right path if you ask Him to help you.”

  “Thank you, Ida,” Debbie said. From downstairs came the rustling of clothing and the decrescendo of voices, so she surmised the girls were heading out. “It sounds as if the girls are leaving. I guess I’d better go join them.”

  Ida squeezed her arm and disappeared back into the bedroom. Debbie made her way down the stairs and moved to the front of the group of girls. She’d be expected, as one of the oldest unmarried girls, to lead the way just behind the girls who had established relationships.

  Soon she would be the oldest unmarried girl. The current wedding season would marry off most of the older dating couples. Maybe the single life was an option for her. It had its pleasant side. She could live on the Beiler farm until Emery married… but that might not be so very long. Emery would soon find the right girl and settle down.

  Debbie sighed. She should prepare her heart for the single life, but the vision she had of being an Amish farmer’s wife was still strong. She envisioned a life of morning and evening chores, of cows that needed care, and, perhaps, children of her own to care for someday. Children who would have what she’d always dreamed of while she grew up—the soil of a farm to call their own. She wanted them to experience open fields in winter right outside bedroom windows, the longing for spring to arrive, and fascinating moments watching a summer thunderstorm move toward the farmhouse, knowing it would bring life-giving water for the livestock and the family for the months ahead. How could she leave that vision behind? That was the question. But it took a man to realize such a dream. And that seemed quite impossible at the moment.

  Thirty-Eight

  Through the open, pole barn door where Lily and Mahlon’s wedding meal had been served this afternoon and the hymn singing would be held tonight, Debbie caught a glimpse of the old woodstove the Kanagy family used to heat the building. Minister Kanagy, his back turned toward her, threw in fresh wood. Her feelings were still mixed toward the man.

  Debbie turned her thoughts to what was going on ahead of her. The steady couples matched up first. The boys coming out of the group gathered near the pole barn to join their girlfriends. Debbie drew in her breath as Alvin approached Mildred and took her hand. Mildred glowed, just as she should be. She had, after all, pulled off quite a coup by snatching Alvin from the affections of another girl—her—and now they planned to wed not many weeks later.

  A man’s voice coming from her side made Debbie jump. “Lost in your own beautiful world?”

  “Not so beautiful,” Debbie replied without much thought.

  Phillip didn’t miss a beat. “That your old flame ahead of us?”

  He already knew, so she didn’t answer.

  His voice was sympathetic. “Maybe we can steer over in this direction instead.” His hand touched her arm lightly and guided her to an empty table. He seated her looking away from Alvin and Mildred.

  Other couples soon filled in the empty places at their table. They were of a younger age group. Across the room Emery took his seat alongside an Amish girl. At least Crystal was out of the picture! Debbie thought. More power to Emery for seeking an Amish frau. Now if her heart didn’t stir at the sight of him, she could be more responsive to Phillip’s attentions. The least she could do was try, even though she wouldn’t get too far.

  “T
hank you,” Debbie whispered to Phillip. “You knew just what to do.”

  Phillip nodded. “Weddings can make the heart throb again.”

  “Just for the record, I’m supposed to be over him.” Debbie spoke out of the corner of her mouth to avoid detection. “Their wedding date was published last Sunday.”

  “Don’t give up hope. Maybe there’s someone else for you.”

  “Do you plan to take advantage of the brokenhearted?”

  He laughed. “A beautiful girl like you? Who wouldn’t be tempted?”

  Debbie’s heart melted a little. He really knew what to say and how to say it.

  Minister Kanagy stood and led out in the prayer. As soon as the amen was said, Phillip asked, “What did you think of the wedding today?”

  “It was nice, I guess. I wasn’t really paying attention. My mind was elsewhere.”

  “Is Ida settled in with my brother?” His smile was bright.

  Debbie was about to answer just as the first dish of food came around the table. She took a portion, passed the dish on, and said, “Ida’s taken to the children quite well… and to your brother.” Debbie took a deep breath. Should she say what she really felt? Now was her chance. “Your brother has always seemed to me to be, well, a bit harsh. But Ida says he’s really very kind… tenderhearted.”

  He didn’t flinch. “She’s his frau now. I’d expect Ben to say nice things to Ida.”

  Debbie ventured further. “From what I gather…and I could be wrong… his feelings for family don’t carry over to you quite as much.” She kept her gaze on his face. His smile was gone now. Had she struck a nerve?

  “Let’s say we have our differences.” He took a bite of food and didn’t look at her. “Did you figure that out yourself or has Ben been telling tales?”

  Debbie hesitated before she plunged forward. “He’s told me no tales. In fact, he’s the one who persuaded me to accept you as a replacement the evening of his wedding.”

  “Ben approves of…” his eyes were wide, “…of you and me?”

  Debbie finished her bite of food. “I suppose so. Did you think otherwise?”

  For the first time he stumbled for words. “I, well, I thought Ida was behind it. She’s on the kinder side, you know.”

  “Yes, I know. But not this time. It was your brother.”

  “Ben shouldn’t have done that.”

  They ate in silence, uncomfortable with each other for the first time.

  “Confound that Ben!” Phillip finally said. “He messes in everything I do.”

  “What is there between the two of you?”

  “I’d better not say. One doesn’t go spilling family secrets.”

  “Fair enough.” She decided to change the subject. “What do you do in Lancaster?”

  He grinned. “I run a siding crew for a large company. Nothing illegal.”

  “No interest in farming then?” The words slipped out.

  He snorted and passed her another plate of food. “That’s one irritation between Ben and me. He can’t imagine a Kanagy who isn’t a farmer. I was the youngest boy—the one who wouldn’t follow the family tradition.”

  “That doesn’t sound serious enough to split a family.” Debbie motioned toward the center table where Lily was laughing with her new husband. “Why didn’t your sister ask you to be her witness today?”

  His face darkened. “Tread softly, my dear.”

  Debbie glanced away from his gaze.

  He touched her hand under the table. “I’m perfectly safe, Debbie. Even with your charming face, your beauty, your… well, everything about you.”

  She tried to breathe. If Ben’s words to Ida were anything like this, no wonder Ida’s heart had melted like butter. The Kanagy men sure had a way with words.

  Debbie sighed. “Maybe we’d better just enjoy our food.”

  Phillip smiled. “Enhanced, of course, by the presence of a gracious lady.”

  Debbie cringed as her gaze settled on Emery seated beside the Amish girl she didn’t know.

  Phillip’s hand found hers under the table once more. “I must have said something wrong, so let’s try this again.” He paused for a moment with his fingers wrapped around hers. “I’m Phillip Kanagy. I left the family farm some years ago to work in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. It was after a tiff with my family, I admit, but now I’m happy as a bug in my own little rental outside the small town of Whitehorse. I’m living amongst the rolling hills of Lancaster County Amish country.”

  “That’s good, but it still doesn’t work for me” Debbie couldn’t help herself. The sight of Emery with his head bent toward the Amish girl pushed her over the edge.

  His fingers tightened on hers. “Now why would a beautiful girl say such a thing?”

  She pulled her hand out of his. “Because you and I don’t work.”

  “Fair enough,” he sighed. “You’re an honest, wholesome soul. That’s important to me.”

  Debbie waited as the dessert bowl came around. She kept her gaze away from Emery. Phillip took his time dipping out a small portion before he held the bowl for her.

  “No hard feelings then?” He regarded her with interest.

  She shrugged. “No, no hard feelings.”

  He took a bite of date pudding.

  Debbie went on. “I’ve had some practice in the art of trying to draw wandering Amish prodigals back to the faith. I lost someone I consider a sister—Lois Beiler—and I was worried about losing someone I consider a brother. An old boyfriend wandered into the world for a time too. And now there’s you. Perhaps that’s all I’m good for in the community.”

  As the meal concluded and the singing began, Debbie was relieved at the opportunity to focus on something else. She wasn’t surprised that Phillip didn’t reach for her hand again, although he was nice enough and she enjoyed his presence. Clearly the wind had gone out of the sails of any possible romance. She knew he wouldn’t ask her for a date on Sunday night. When the last song was sung, he’d walk out the door to return to Lancaster. She would not hear from him again, but her heart simply couldn’t open up under the circumstances.

  As they parted when the singing ended, he leaned over and whispered, “The best to you, beautiful one. I wish it could have been different.”

  She didn’t have a response, so she didn’t say anything.

  Across the room Emery and the Amish girl shared a hearty laugh.

  Thirty-Nine

  Ida rose before dawn on Thanksgiving morning. Ben was still asleep and the alarm wasn’t set to go off for another ten minutes. She lit the kerosene lamp on the dresser and changed into a work dress. She was ready to slip out of the bedroom when Ben stirred.

  “Gut morning,” he called sleepily. “What time is it?”

  “Time to get up.” Ida shut off the alarm. She stepped over to the bed to kiss Ben on the forehead.

  He groaned. “Can’t we sleep in on Thanksgiving morning?”

  “It’s up to you,” she said on the way out. “I’ll have breakfast ready soon.”

  She knew he’d be up and dressed soon now that he’d awakened. Ben didn’t need an alarm clock, and neither did she. They were creatures of habit, and already their household routine was well-written in their minds and hearts. Ida smiled to herself. She’d never imagined that life could hold so much happiness. The work was intense, of course, but she’d never minded work. And the children made the love in her heart bloom. Ben was all a husband should be—tender with her heart and firm with the children. All these gut things were so much more than anything she’d expected even in her wildest dreams.

  Ida wiped away a tear as she entered the kitchen. Perhaps this was one of the blessings that came because she hadn’t had dreams about Ben. She’d had dreams about Paul Wagler, and look how that had worked out. This was much better than anything she’d imagined with Paul. Leave it to Da Hah to know what’s best.

  Ida heard footsteps approach and a smile softened her face. Ben was up, and his voice soon hollered up the stai
rs, “Time to get up, children!” Moments later he was in the kitchen where he paused to give her a playful kiss.

  “I’m busy,” she protested, but she allowed herself to be gathered in his arms for a quick hug. Ben’s beard brushed her face. Ida hoped her face wouldn’t still be red when Wilma came down. She was a young bride, and her love for Ben was nothing she needed to feel ashamed of. Still…

  Ida bustled about the kitchen, and moments later Willard was the first child down the stairs.

  “Gut morning,” Ida greeted with a warm smile.

  “What’s for breakfast?” he asked.

  Ida gave him a quick hug. He didn’t usually stop to chat, so she wanted to grab this moment. She smiled down at him. “Not much. Just cereal. We’ll have a big noon meal over at Mamm and Daett’s place later.”

  “At your mamm and daett’s place?”

  She ruffled his hair. “Yah, mine.”

  Out of the blue, he blurted, “Why did my mamm and daett have to die?”

  The question took Ida’s breath away. She’d expected it, but not now. Not on Thanksgiving morning right when breakfast needed her attention. And the other children would soon be down. In fact, footsteps were already sounding on the stairs. A moment later Wilma and John appeared in the doorway. She greeted them, and John went out into the washroom where he banged around as he pulled on his winter clothing. Wilma appeared perplexed as to why Willard was still standing in the middle of the kitchen.

  Ida took Willard’s hand. “We’ll be a moment, Wilma. Will you please put the water on to boil for the oatmeal? We’re just having cereal this morning. And then I’m going out to help chore.”

  Wilma headed toward the cupboards while Ida took Willard by the hand and led him into the living room. Once they were seated on the couch, she answered him. “I don’t know why your mamm and daett were taken. Sometimes we have to just trust in Da Hah’s wisdom when our own wisdom and knowledge fail us. I’m glad you trusted me enough to ask.”

  She stroked his forehead while Willard seemed to be processing the information. At least the boy was talking to her. She’d waited so long for this moment.