Eventide (Meratis Trilogy Book 2)
Page 23
“I won’t put her through that. Not until I’m sure she’s—”
“I think it’s a good idea,” Maggie interrupted. “I think Jeff’s right. Her ailment is more mental than physical.”
“So we should just throw her on a horse and send her far away from any medical help if something goes wrong?”
Maggie rolled her eyes. “They’re not going cross-country into battle, Jay. I’m just saying, why not put it to her. She may prefer it to lying around in bed.”
***
Much to Jayden’s dissatisfaction, although likely not to his surprise, Maggie was right. An hour later Jasmine was out of bed, dressed, and moving around like her old self, if a little slower.
“Are you sure about this?” Cassie asked Jeff as he tacked up Swish.
“We’ll have soldiers with us. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Don’t go jinxing yourself,” she warned.
He finished adjusting the stirrups, and then took Cassie’s hands in his. “I’ll be fine. Jasmine needs a kick in the pants, and I think I’m the one to do it. But nothing else is going to happen. I wouldn’t let it. Not now.”
Cassie stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss and he wrapped his arm around her, burying his face in her hair.
“Just be careful,” she whispered.
Four soldiers waited at the gates to escort them to Treevale. The order had been Jayden’s concession to letting them go at all, and Jeff wasn’t too upset to see them. Until they broke the spell—if they found out how—some backup might not be the worst idea.
Jasmine and Nalen waited outside the stables with Jayden. The Friesian pawed at the ground to get started, and Jasmine looked equally impatient.
Swish nudged Jeff’s shoulder, and he hauled himself up into the saddle.
“You’re getting better at that,” Jayden said, watching him.
“Really? Thanks.”
“A few more months and maybe you can skip the mountain climbing act.”
Jeff grumbled, but was too used to the ribbing to feel embarrassed. Cassie patted his knee and then stepped back towards Jayden. The warrior wrapped his arm around her waist.
“And don’t worry, Author, your woman will be safe with me.”
Jeff grinned. “I have no doubt she’ll be safe from you. Woman has some mad skills.”
“Keep an eye on my sister, will you?”
Jasmine snorted. “You really think me so weak that he needs to watch out for me?”
“We’ll keep an eye on each other,” Jeff promised.
Jasmine urged Nalen to a walk and Jeff followed, waving goodbye to Cassie as they left.
***
Jasmine had no interest in conversation during the first part of the ride. Jeff spent the quiet time watching her, noticing the way she cringed whenever Nalen hit a step too hard and jarred her the wrong way, and how she kept reaching to grab her side only to stop and return her hand to the pommel. Had this trip been a mistake?
He gauged how far away the soldiers were, two in front, two in the rear, and felt even more relieved Jasmine agreed to let them come. If anything happened to her, at least they could help get her back to the Keep.
They were far enough away from the Feldall gates that trees had started to appear again. Not far in the distance, Jeff could see the dense green of the woods around Treevale. The oily sensation of bad memories started to creep up, and he forced himself to think of anything else.
When Jasmine refused to stop for lunch, and her eyes grew more and more vacant with her deep thoughts, Jeff knew there had been no other option. Nothing in the Keep would knock her out of this rut, and he just had to hope the trip would be enough.
“How’s the gut?” he asked, trying to pull her back into the world.
“Fine,” she replied.
“Causing you any pain?”
“Nope.”
He searched for a different subject. One that wouldn’t remind her that she was human and therefore weak. “I took your advice—finally—about Cassie. Talked to her. I think things are good. You were right.”
“Of course I was.” Jasmine must have heard the cold indifference in her voice because she roused herself enough to turn to Jeff and offer a faint smile. “But I’m glad it worked out. It would have been a shame if you’d lost her. Especially considering …”
“Yeah, especially considering,” he agreed. Considering when they finally returned home, she would be his only reason to get out of bed in the morning until he found a new calling.
“I’m realising how rare it is to have that sort of deep affection for someone. How fleeting it can be and how important to hold onto it.”
Could Jasmine Feldall really be sharing something personal? He didn’t know how to respond.
“It’s easy to take it for granted,” she continued. “Assume the feelings you have for someone—or that someone has for you—will always be around.”
“Someone in particular you’re thinking about?” Jeff dared to ask.
Jasmine raised a shoulder. In spite of his prying, she remained pensive, her gaze focused vaguely on the road ahead of her.
“Just generally. People are there one day, and the next you never see them again. Never even have the chance to say goodbye.”
Jeff’s foolish side hoped she referred to Brady, but now he saw Corey was still first and foremost on her mind. He sympathised with her, he really did, but she had to move on. Move to something that was real instead of the memories holding her back.
“Come on,” he said, nudging Swish towards the forest on the left.
“What are you doing?” one of the soldiers demanded. “We should stick to the road.”
Jasmine stayed with the soldiers. “She’s right. It’ll add too much time to the trip.”
Jeff slowed Swish to a halt and looked over his shoulder. “There’s something I want to show you.” He looked to the soldier. “We’ll meet you at the Fortress.” When both Jasmine and the soldier continued to hesitate, he persevered, “The forest has a dragon guardian. I really don’t think we have anything to worry about in there.”
Jasmine sighed, and guided Nalen after them. “Meet us at Treevale,” she ordered the soldiers, and when she and Jeff were far enough away added, “Are you sure you even know where you’re going? It’s a big forest, and you’re not exactly navigationally skilled.”
Jeff offered a brief smirk to show he wasn’t offended by the jibe, but the smile faded quickly. “Trust me, I don’t think I could ever forget this place.”
They rode to the edge of the forest and then dismounted, leading the horses behind them.
Swish whinnied and tossed his head, tugging at the reins to go back to the road. Nalen didn’t seem bothered at first, but the more spooked Swish became, the edgier he got.
“Your gelding’s having a difficult time here,” Jasmine observed, her voice tense, almost shaky. “Where are we going?”
Jeff didn’t answer, focused on the ground to make sure he didn’t trip and fall. Jasmine didn’t ask again, silently following his lead.
They walked for a few minutes when Jeff came to a sudden stop. Like hallucinations, two figures shimmered ahead in his vision, memories so vivid he could hear their voices.
“Well if you do stay here and Raul finds out, you could get us all killed, brother. Do us a favour and go home,” Corey was saying to Jayden.
Jeff heard the twig snap under his boot, saw Corey’s head swivel towards him.
“What’s he doing here?”
“Bastard’s trying to kill me,” Jayden explained, having just learned of Jeff’s plot to kill off his male lead in the conclusion to his Feldall Saga.
He remembered the way Corey’s eyes had narrowed, his hand tightening on his sword.
“You’re welcome to try, little man.”
Jeff had rolled his eyes at the threat, having no idea that in only a few minutes time, Corey would be the one to die.
“Are you all right?” Jasmine asked behind him
. He looked to her, saw her gaze jump from him to the empty patch in front of them and realised he had been staring at nothing.
“Fine. Sorry. Let’s keep going.”
Not too far now. He could feel his muscles tense up in his back the closer they got, could smell a hint of death on the air. Was it memories, or a lingering curse on the woods?
“Jeff, where are we going?” Her words were full of uncertainty, bordering on fear. He wondered if she sensed the darkness as well, or the stress oozing out of his pores. She must have answered her own question because she drew to a halt, her fingers tight around Nalen’s reins. “I—I can’t do this, Jeff. I don’t want to.”
Jeff turned to face her. “I heard you say once that you wanted to know how it happened. That you wouldn’t be able to put it behind you until you did. Well that’s what we’re going to do. I’ll walk you through every moment so you know, so you can accept that Corey is not coming back, no matter how much you wish that he would.”
Jasmine drew back her hand and slapped him full across the face.
Jeff clenched his hands by his sides and waggled his jaw to work off the sharp pain that radiated up into his skull.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“No,” she spat.
“You want to go back? Fine, we’ll go back.” He started walking the way they’d come. “You’ll never know what happened and you’ll stay depressed, pushing away everyone that cares about you until you’re completely alone.”
“Stop it.”
“Never mind the people who love you and are worried about you. Let’s do this your way. It’s worked so well so far.”
“Stop!” Jasmine yelled loudly enough that a few birds overhead flew off, shaking a rainfall of leaves over their heads.
Jeff stopped and turned again. She hadn’t moved from her spot.
“I want to know what happened,” she said. “I have nightmares every night, imagining. What if the truth is worse than the dreams?”
“It will be,” Jeff said, as gently as he could. “But at least you can stop obsessing over what-ifs.”
Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes and she blinked them away before they fell, her lips trembling. “I still feel him near me. Even after so many months, I still expect to see him. I walk past his room and have to remind myself that there’s no one inside. Sometimes I forget and go in and all of his things are still there, and they smell like him. And then suddenly he’s there and I can feel his hands. When I close my eyes I see him smiling. I can picture the last time I saw him, when I gave him his orders to take that scouting party to Treevale. I didn’t even get to say anything to him, didn’t even—”
She stopped, cleared her throat.
Jeff said nothing. She had to get all this anger and sadness out.
Taking a slow, shaky breath, she said, “I know his death was not my fault.” The words came out more as a familiar mantra than with any real conviction. “But that doesn’t take away the fact that I miss him every gods-be-damned day.”
Her voice trembled and again she stopped. Her eyes widened with a sort of panic as her grief threatened to overwhelm her, her shoulders shivering with pent-up emotion. A wave of guilt washed over Jeff, and he rested his hands on her shoulders, catching her eye to try and get her to focus on him instead of whatever thoughts were circling inside her head.
“I shouldn’t have dragged you here. I know that. I’m sorry. But it’s hard to watch the people you care about swirl down into dark places. Jayden’s also in pain, so he’s in no place to help guide you out. Brady’s been trying too hard to give you space. Maybe I’m a son of a bitch for trying this way, or maybe I’m just used to being inside your head. Tough love has always been your thing.”
Jasmine smiled weakly, the tears finally trickling over her cheeks to drip off her chin. She didn’t bother to wipe them away this time.
“It’s scary how well you know me sometimes.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed. “You are a son of a bitch, but I think you’re right.” She pulled away. “Jayden was right, too, I think. Corey would have called me weak, the way I’ve been acting. He wouldn’t have been as tactless, of course.”
Jeff held out his hand, and Jasmine took it. He squeezed tighter the closer they got, and Jasmine returned the pressure.
As they reached the clearing, the harder and faster the memories came. He saw the curtain of leaves where the walking corpses had pushed through, their slow death march freezing the scouts in place. He remembered Syd Hunter, the poor kid whose love of his life had been in that rotting army. How he’d died to save what was left of her.
He saw the cougars, mutated into living death, jump out of nowhere. Scouts trapped on the ground, their insides torn apart and eaten while they still clung to life.
Nausea crept up his throat as the stench of blood and faeces and death resurfaced.
Jasmine draped her arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer. Jeff berated himself for being afraid. They were here for her. He had to remember that.
“Walk me through it,” she whispered. “I think this could help us both.”
Jeff cleared his throat and pointed to where the walking dead had stopped, their limbs swaying in the breeze. “Raul sent his victims back like a decomposing army. They didn’t attack us, didn’t come near us, just stood there with their throats gaping and milky white eyes staring at us.”
He stepped away from Jasmine towards a large tree, one of the few still standing near the clearing. Others lay fallen, more victims of that day.
“I hate to admit it, but I hid here. I tried to keep Syd with me, but he was past reason, mad with grief.” Jeff scratched at the scab on his neck. “When the cougars came, we had no idea what it meant. Jayden and Corey were magnificent,” Right in front of where he stood now was where the two men had practiced their well-rehearsed sword dance, cutting off the head of the first cat. “Nothing could touch them. It was like on their own they were good, but together they were unbeatable.”
“They always practiced as partners,” Jasmine said quietly. “Said it gave them an edge.”
“It did that day,” Jeff agreed. “But I still don’t know if we would have won. The cougars kept coming. It felt like for every one they killed, three more prepared to jump in.”
He tilted his head up to the sky. “That’s when Talfyr came.”
Jasmine swallowed loudly and came closer. “Tell me.”
Jeff lowered his head. “It wasn’t clear at first what he was doing. He was so loud and terrifying and big that we all scattered. The cougars fled, but Talfyr burned them all.”
The screams of the cats echoed in his head, so disturbingly human.
“The scouts tried to fight him. A perfect opportunity to bring down the other threat to the country. Jayden and Corey had a strategy—they went after the wings.”
“What made Jayden stop?”
Jeff turned his head away, staring at where it had played out. Like a movie, he saw himself tackle Jayden out of the way. The warrior had rolled back to his feet and rested his blade against Jeff’s throat, accusing him of trying to kill him.
“Talfyr isn’t trying to kill us!” Jeff had yelled, begging him to see.
Jayden had looked over his shoulder, watched the dragon try to fly off, come back as the next volley of arrows struck his scales.
“Gods be damned.”
“Talfyr was trying to leave,” he explained to Jasmine. “I managed to convince Jayden, but Corey—”
Jayden had tried so hard to stop him, unable to run after Corey because of an injury to his leg.
“Corey, man, stop! He’s not after you!”
“His armour got caught.” Jeff’s vision blurred as tears filled his eyes. “That’s all it was, Jax. A stupid fucking accident that didn’t have to happen. He got stuck, and Talfyr flew off. His scales cut through the leather. He fell. There.”
Jeff pointed to a spot of green grass a few metres away. The clearing hadn’t been lush or pretty
at the time, he remembered. The drought had made the ground hard and cracked, more like stone than earth. The grass had been brown, soaked through with blood by the end of the fight.
Jasmine walked over and stared down at the ground. Jeff gave her a few moments before going over to join her. She didn’t say anything for a long while, processing, and he let her be.
Finally, slowly, a gurgle of sound built up in her chest, a sound that grew louder and more forceful until it was a yell of the purest anger and pain Jeff had ever heard. She reached down to pick up a stray stone and threw it with all of her strength into the woods. Unseen creatures in the shadows scurried away.
Jeff winched at the thought of her injury, but she seemed unhurt, too caught up in her emotions.
“It’s not fair!” she raged. “Everything I lost for an accident? Why did it have to be you who took down the dragon. You gods-be-damned lunatic, selfish, stupid son of a bitch!”
She paced back and forth across the spot, reaching down to throw an even larger rock at nothing.
Another yell, and then she seemed to run out of yells. She sank down to the ground, and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on top. Jeff took a chance and dropped down next to her.
When she spoke again, she sounded worn out, all heat gone. “He was an arrogant bastard.”
“I know,” said Jeff.
“I’m sorry he was an ass to you.”
Jeff shrugged. “I wrote him that way. Could hardly be surprised.”
Jasmine forced a smirk. “If you wrote us at all.”
Jeff pretended to scowl. “You’ve been listening to too many of Brady’s wild theories. Heed them not.”
She chuckled through the new wave of silent tears, reaching up to wipe them with the heel of her hand.
“We’re in a fine mess, aren’t we, Jeff?”
Jeff nodded. “I think we are. Again.”
“I guess we should do something about it.”
“That’s what you guys are good at. Solving the country’s problems.”
“You’re not half bad yourself, you know.” Jasmine got to her feet and brushed the dirt off her pants. “So let’s save ourselves from at least one challenge and break that spell.”