Purple Threads

by Jeanine Leane

  ‘Stop frownin’,’ she snapped. ‘I’m not gunna lose ya.’

  Dinny broke free from the circle of men that surrounded him and ambled back to where we were standing. ‘How about the sideshows now, kids?’ he said, beaming.

  I had no idea about that either, but once again smiled politely as Petal picked up Star and Dinny hoisted me onto his shoulders.

  I liked the sideshows better than the bucking broncos. The Ferris wheel really fascinated me. ‘Can we go on that, please?’ I asked Petal.

  ‘I can’t go on that bloody thing, it’ll make me dizzy,’ Petal whinged.

  ‘I’ll take ’em,’ Dinny said amicably, as he jangled the coins in his pocket.

  I loved it. The view from the top was what I imagined it would be if I were a bird. I was disappointed when the ride ended, but I skipped back up to Petal.

  ‘That was fun!’

  ‘Don’t tell ya bloody Aunties ya been on that thing.’ She glared at me. ‘I don’t want no lecture when I get home.’

  Dinny impressed Star and me with his accurate aim in the shooting gallery too.

  ‘Choose one!’ he said, pointing at the array of dolls on sticks.

  Star was jumping up and down. ‘Can we really have one?’

  ‘Any one you like!’ His smile was as broad as his voice.

  I chose the one wearing deep purple, like the flag lilies in the garden in spring. I thought she was beautiful with her luscious black glossy hair swept high in a bun on top of her head. Star chose one that looked like an angel and Petal said she liked Star’s better.

  Petal looked at Dinny. ‘We betta get these kids back ta Boo an’ Bub or they’ll be afta us,’ she said.

  We were spattered with tomato sauce from hot dogs and I lost a tooth in a toffee apple. Dinny bought us a bag of fairy floss each for the trip home.

  ‘Not a word about that bloody Ferris wheel,’ Petal hissed as we got closer to where the Aunties were sitting in the shade. ‘Looks like Dinny’s gunna win a bit of money tonight,’ Petal announced triumphantly as she handed us back.

  The Aunties had no more idea about rodeos than I did, and they stared back blankly.

  ‘Means he’s prob’ly gunna win the competition,’ Petal elaborated with a dismissive hand gesture.

  ‘Why are all those horses an’ bulls so worked up?’ I asked the Aunties in the car on the way home.

  ‘They’re frightened, poor things,’ Aunty Bubby explained. ‘The men tie ropes ’round their flanks an’ prod ’em with electric sticks to rile ’em up so they do that in the ring.’

  Aunty Boo had to add her piece: ‘Hey, girl, did ya see all them men walkin’ round with big hats an’ whips an’ spurs?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said dubiously.

  ‘Well, if I had ta put up with that it’d make me so wild, I’d want ta trample an’ kill ’em too!’

  Two days later Petal came home. If the news that Dinny was coming to our house made Nan and the Aunties wild, and the news of us going to the rodeo bowled them over, the next bit of news from Petal sent a harpoon through the women that split blubber from bone.

  ‘I’m takin’ the kids with Dinny an’ me ta Queensland ta see ’is mum an’ dad an’ their farm,’ she announced.

  ‘Petal! Whatchya thinkin’, girl?’ Aunty Bubby spluttered from quivering lips.

  Nan collapsed in a chair near the kitchen stove. ‘Why? Ya got everythin’ ya need right here.’

  ‘I’ll hang ya up by the ankles an’ beat ya bum with the biggest stick I can find, Petal!’ Aunty Boo threatened, puffing up her chest and digging her hands deep into her hips. ‘An’ donchya go thinkin’ ya too much of a big woman either. I tell ya, I’ll flog ya!’

  Petal just laughed in her face.

  ‘You’re a toothless tiger, ya are! I am a big woman now, like it or not, an’ I can do what I like.’

  She prodded Aunty Boo in the chest. Aunty grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly in her own.

  ‘Don’t be mad, Petal,’ Aunty Boo said in all earnest. ‘Ya know what can happen ta the kids if the authorities think they bein’ neglected.’

  ‘Don’t be gammon, Boo.’ Petal squeezed her hand back then gently released it.

  ‘But we always looked afta ’em fer ya Petal,’ Aunty Boo pleaded.

  ‘I’m goin’!’ Petal said defiantly and took a step backwards, indicating that as far as she was concerned the conversation was over.

  ‘Thinka the distance, love,’ Aunty Bubby said. ‘It’s nearly a thousand miles from here to Jericho.’

  Jericho! My mind was reeling. I’d learnt about that place in Sunday school. It was where Joshua fought a battle and the walls came tumbling down. How could we be going to some place in the Bible? I knew it wasn’t the time to ask. It was clear Petal was totally committed to her new adventure.

  ‘We’ll be right, Bub. Dinny knows what he’s doin’. He makes this trip every year.’

  ‘But they strangers, Petal.’ Nan’s voice was shaking.

  Petal got all hot under the collar then: ‘They’re family! Even if we haven’t met ’em yet.’ She turned to Aunty Bubby, who was the easiest of the three to intimidate, and narrowed her eyes. ‘You’re the one who’s always goin’ on about family an’ how important it is ta know who ya are!’

  Aunty Bubby dropped her chin and steadied herself. Aunty Boo stomped off. Nan buried her head in her hands by the fireplace. I snuck out the back door. I wasn’t at all sure about going off with Petal without Nan and the Aunties.

  ‘Hey, kids.’ Petal had found Star and me playing by the back step. ‘This’ll be a big adventure. Ya’ll love it. We’ll get ta see a lotta country an’ we’ll go campin’ on the way.’

  I was drawing in the dust and didn’t look up. ‘I don’t wanna go somewhere from the Bible, Petal.’

  ‘It’s not in the Bible,’ she laughed. ‘There’s another Jericho . . . in Queensland. Be good, be somethin’ real different. Now get that frown off ya face an’ cheer up.’

  But my Aunties and Nan were so sad. Every time they tried to talk about it round the fireplace they’d get all teary. Even Aunty Boo, who I hardly ever saw cry, had a few tears in her eyes.

  ‘I’ll miss them kids. I’ll be worried sick about ’em,’ Nan said, hemming the new dress she was making for Star.

  ‘Donchya worry, Mum!’ Aunty Boo wore a brave face. ‘Ya know what that bloody Petal’s like. Always runs home whenever things get too hard fer her. She won’t last long. I’ll give ’er a month.’ But Nan and Aunty Bubby were stone-faced, so Aunty Boo tried again: ‘Look, I tell ya, Petal’s got such a stormy relationship with that man o’ hers, ’spite all them long mushy letters she gets me ta post fer her. An’ when she gets up there with all them hard-arsed Catholics she won’t know what hit her. She’ll come home, mark my words.’

  The day before we left, Aunty Boo went to town and bought us new sandals, shirts, shorts and a sunhat each to make sure our new grandparents could see we had shop-bought clothes as well as home-made ones. Aunty Bubby gathered all our favourite books together so that our new grandparents could see that we’d been read to. Nan made us new matching dresses in bright sunshine yellow to wear on the way.

  ‘Can’t I take one of the black lambs with me?’ I begged Aunty Bubby.

  ‘Nah, baby,’ she said gently. ‘Lambs don’t go in cars an’, besides, they don’t have sheep up where you’re goin’.’

  This sounded like really strange country to me. ‘What! What do they have then?’

  ‘Oh, cows an’ horses, I think.’

  I couldn’t imagine a sheep-less landscape.

  I cried when I had to say goodbye to my Aunties and Nan. Aunty Boo was dry-eyed when she kissed us and told us to be good girls. Nan blubbered and cuddled us tight. Aunty Bubby, who’d gotten up at the crack o
f dawn to preen us like she always did when we went to town, wailed and clung to me like the baby possums that clung to their mothers’ backs in the plum tree at night. Petal had to prise me out of her arms.

  ‘C’mon, you’re a big girl. I told ya this gunna be good.’ Petal plonked me in the back seat next to my sister. ‘Ya’ll makin’ ya-self sick fer nuthin’,’ she said to the three sniffling women. ‘Ya know I won’t let nothin’ happen ta the kids.’

  She shut the car door and jumped in the front seat. Dinny handed us boiled lollies, but I had too much of a lump in my throat to eat them.

  ‘Donchya cry any more!’ Petal said sharply. ‘Ya’ll make ya-self sick.’

  It took us four days and three nights to drive to the O’Riley’s station, sixty miles north of Jericho. We camped by the side of the road with no mosquito nets or coils, and Petal’s face became pitted and swollen from bites. Her new haircut became a spiky matted ball because she forgot to bring a mirror. She wasn’t used to eating out of a can. Neither were Star and I, for that matter, but Petal was the one to complain. She looked daggers at Dinny as she flung down a half-eaten piece of canned corned beef on the ground.

  ‘What is this shit?’

  ‘It’s beef,’ he grinned. ‘Ya betta get used to eating it. That’s all we have up my way.’

  Dinny’s drinking by the campfire riled Petal too. ‘Donchya come near me with that stinkin’ smell on ya breath!’ she snapped.

  The Aunties shouldn’t have bothered preening and scrubbing us because there was nowhere to have a wash when we pulled off the road late at night anyway, and as we slept in our bright yellow dresses they quickly became crumpled and grubby. Only Dinny seemed unruffled by it all by the time we arrived at his parents’ station halfway through the fourth day.

  My sister and I fell out of the car craving a decent sleep and a decent feed. Petal was dishevelled and foul-tempered. Dinny’s mother and father were waiting. Petal was at the end of her tether. She wasn’t good at hiding her feelings. She stepped out of the car in her bare feet with her brown legs, cut-off denim shorts and bright cotton shirt tied tightly at the waist, her hair matted and wild and red lipstick she’d hastily put on in the car. Behind her were two woolly-haired, shoeless children. It was me who felt the icy glare from Dinny’s mum.

  ‘Welcome,’ she said coldly as she held out her hand to Petal. ‘And the children –’ she gave Star and I a quick pat on the head – ‘they look well. I’m your grandmother and you can call me Grandma. Come inside, we’ll have some tea and sandwiches and I’ll get a bath ready.’

  ‘I need a bath afta all this red dust,’ Petal said.

  Dinny’s father, Paddy, had a face like leather and a huge nose that Star and I couldn’t help staring at. But he seemed kinder.

  ‘Hey, little ladies,’ a smile split his leathery face. ‘Real pleased to meet you. Been hearin’ a lot about you.’

  ‘I have something for the children,’ Grandma said as she set cups and plates on the table.

  She took two parcels from the kitchen dresser and handed them to us. We both looked at Petal. She nodded and we opened the presents. Inside mine I found a white lace dress and some pink plastic beads. Star had a white dress too and some blue plastic beads. I’d never had a white dress before; Nan always made us brightly coloured ones and said that white wasn’t for children. I loved the beads though; I’d never seen anything like them.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said with my brightest smile.

  My new Grandma looked briefly impressed at my manners until I attempted to put the beads around my neck.

  ‘No, child!’ She almost dropped the teapot. ‘They’re rosary beads, not jewellery!’ She tried to sound a little more kind, her face a map of tiny red lines. ‘Put them under your pillow and Sister Bernadette and I will teach you to say some prayers.’

  My heart sank. The prayers at Sunday school were scary enough. I didn’t want to know any more.

  Grandma turned to Petal. ‘Sister Bernadette is our youngest daughter, and Dinny’s baby sister. She’s spending a few weeks with us from Brisbane. She’ll be along presently, she’s out walking. We are so proud of her.’

  Petal gathered up the white dresses and the pink and blue rosary beads and took them to the back bedroom where Dinny had put our things. Grandma gave us all a cup of tea and while Petal had a bath she took Star and I for a walk around her front garden. We were used to big gardens but the maiden-hair ferns, mango trees, lantana, tree orchids, frangipanis and pink storm lilies amazed us.

  ‘Who’s that funny lady dressed up like a witch?’ I asked innocently when I saw a small woman covered from head to toe in black making her way through the tall grass towards the homestead.

  Grandma was aghast, her eyes like blue saucers. ‘She is not a funny lady! That’s my daughter, Sister Bernadette, and she’s a nun, not a witch!’

  Sister Bernadette was the strangest looking woman I’d ever seen, story books and all. She was tiny with weird, red crinkly skin. She kissed my sister and me and said she had a present for us too. We followed her to the little bedroom at the side of the house that she occupied when she came to visit. She produced a little tin of chocolates for each of us, with a pretty picture of green fields and stone houses on the lid, and a bookmark with crocheted edges and a picture of a pained woman on it.

  ‘This is St Bernadette from whom I take my name,’ she said proudly. ‘And the lovely pictures on the chocolate tins are of Ireland, where our family is from.’

  We thanked her heartily and went off to show Petal.

  ‘Sunny got into trouble from Grandma coz she thought that Sister lady was a witch,’ Star said, ‘not a nun, whatever that is.’

  I thought I might get into more trouble but Petal just laughed. ‘Sounds more like a witch ta me, but donchya kids go repeatin’ that, ya hear?’

  We were starving by the time Grandma called us to the table for tea. She looked daggers at Star and me when I grabbed a piece of bread from a plate in the middle of the table before the adults were all seated. She was even less impressed by the fact that Petal didn’t see anything wrong with what we did and didn’t ask us to put it back.

  ‘Now,’ Grandma announced, still staring at Petal, Star and me, ‘Sister Bernadette will say grace for us.’

  Everyone else around the table, even Dinny, bowed their heads. Sister Bernadette cleared her throat.

  ‘Bless us O Lord and these thy gifts

  Which of thy bounty we are about to receive

  Through Christ’s sake

  Amen’

  Everyone but Petal, Star and I responded with a loud ‘Amen’. I must have looked totally confused because Petal and Star got the giggles and their tittering made me laugh too. Grandma gave us all the evil eye, but Sister Bernadette just looked wounded and helpless like the picture of the saint she’d given to us.

  I was panicked when I saw that Grandma had set up two narrow single beds in the long, airy room with its high ceiling and French doors that opened onto a vast plain. Petal had the luxury of a huge four-poster brass bed with big billowy mosquito nets at the far end of the room behind a screen. Petal stared at the full-faced moon that shone gold through the lace curtain and on my ghost-pale face. ‘You two can cuddle up with me fer a while,’ she said, and patted the space beside her. ‘We’ll read The Wizard of Oz!’

  ‘Can’t we go home?’ I whinged.

  ‘Yeah, Petal,’ said Star in total agreement. ‘I don’t like it here.’

  ‘What, an’ ’ave ya Aunties thinkin’ I’m a baby an’ can’t do nothin’ fer m’self? We’ll get use ta it. I wanna do somethin’ different.’

  We were almost settled when Grandma and Sister Bernadette appeared outside the French doors. Petal and I were reading The Wizard of Oz. Star was teetering on the brink of sleep. I squealed, startling Star who screeched and leapt into Pet
al’s arms.

  ‘Me kids ain’t use ta sleepin’ on their own,’ Petal said flatly. ‘At home they always sleep with their Aunties close by.’

  ‘Hmmm . . .’ Grandma placed a pile of clean towels on the end of the bed. ‘Lights out at nine,’ she said, still smoothing the towels. ‘I have Paddy turn the generator off then. After that it’s the lamp on the veranda. We have a cup of tea, then turn in and rise again between five and six when it gets light.’

  The night was black and thick. I clutched Petal’s nightgown and drifted into a fitful sleep. Sometime in the night though, in the flimsy confused hours between dusk and dawn, I was transported from Petal’s generous bed, as was Star. I woke just before first light in the throes of a bad dream. When I jolted awake I was alone in the slim bed, inches away from Star, who was oblivious to her abandonment. I blinked in disbelief, closed my eyes and wished for Aunty Bubby and Aunty Boo and the sound of talking through the night. When I opened my eyes I was still alone. I braved it to creep out of bed. The full moon lit the long narrow room. As my eyes adapted to the dim light I saw Petal’s bed silhouetted against the wall at the other end.

  Apart from the nights we spent on the road, I had never spent a night without my Aunties before in my life. I was afraid and had it in mind to jump up in bed with Petal, like I did at home with Aunty Bubby. But I wasn’t used to such big rooms and halfway between the little beds and Petal’s big bed I panicked again and felt a tremendous sense of despair. Shadows loomed. I was petrified but I had come too far to turn back. Gathering up all my courage, I sprinted past the doors and bounded triumphantly up to Petal’s bed.

  I was about to hoist myself onto the mattress when I noticed something that made me halt mid-step. Petal’s slender legs and strangely beautiful feet were twisted and pointed like cyclamens around Dinny’s back. I felt a big lump rise in my throat and my knees turned to jelly but I didn’t try to wake Petal as she lay in the arms of her man. Perhaps I knew that there was no point. She looked so peaceful. I crept back to bed and drifted eventually into an uneasy sleep.