“Trying to win you over? God, how arrogant are you? You think I was nice to you because I wanted you? Wow, goes to show how little you think of me.” I scoffed at his audacity.
“Jamie, that’s not what I meant at all.” Sam sighed again.
“Well, you are certainly doing an excellent job at explaining whatever it is you have to explain.”
“Jamie, it’s rare to come across genuine people in my line of work and where I come from. For years, I’ve worked hard to take it all with a grain of salt, ignoring the intentions of others because more often than not it was something trying to either benefit from my father’s name or from my own notoriety. All I wanted to do is live as much of a normal life as possible. Do you realize what that’s like for me?” Sam tried to explain.
“Yeah, you’re whining because you’re famous and rich and women throw themselves at you. No, Sam, I do not know what that’s like because I’m not rich and I’m just a nobody. Poor you.”
“When I met you, you were genuine. You didn’t treat me like I had something you could benefit from. You treated me as I was. For the first time, I didn’t feel like Jerry Ellis’ son or that guy that traveled all over the world. I felt like Sam the surfing martial artist that happens to run a non-profit and sale on his boat with his dog. Look, I am sorry that I came across as anything more than that and if I could take it all back, I would.”
Hearing his words, I was still angry. Not at him, it was never meant for him, but I took it out on him anyway. Instead, I should have been angrier at myself. I spent so many years feeling lonely, in self-pity and the next guy that came along she took an interest in and read too much into his actions. Who would be attracted to someone like that?
“Jamie?” Sam asked when I failed to respond. Putting a hand on my shoulder, “I truly am sorry. I did not mean to lead you on, but I really did enjoy your company. I still do.”
If it wasn’t going to be him, then who was it going to be? I was already 28, and most of my peers were married with children, and I was one of the few that wasn’t. I didn’t know what was wrong with me.
“I read your letter and know you intended to resign, but I don’t want you to. I need you.”
“For what, Sam? I’m not looking for a friend, as you can see that’s the one thing I have an abundance of. They are at this party, and I’d like to spend more time with them. I’m still going to resign, Sam.” I finally answered. “Although, I know you think kindly of me and value my presence, it still hurts. It still hurts to not…you know, I’ve spent my whole life to be hopefully despite adversity. Each time I had hope when it looked like something great was going to happen and then it doesn’t. It fails like someone is up there saying ‘Sorry Jamie, not for you!’ and it's failure after failure. Being kicked when I was already down. When is my win, Sam? When is it my turn to win?”
“Jamie, don’t you realize how lucky you are? You’ve got a lot going for you that I wish I sometimes had. You’re one of the best in our dojo and maybe even better than that, and if you would compete like Felix wants you to, I’m sure you’d succeed there. You’re in a band that you love and perform all over the state, you’ve got a lot of good close friends, and you live on the coast. How are those not wins?”
“I’m not discounting those things, but every time I’m around you now, it hurts. It hurts because I really miss the hope of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know that feeling in the back of your mind that something was missing. You know when I met you, I didn’t know what it was. I remembered that it had been a long time since I was genuinely interested in someone. I purposely haven’t dated in a long time because it felt like a chore and I was forcing myself to go through the motions because I didn’t want to end up alone but I just couldn’t do it, and then I met you.”
“Jamie…”
“I mean, God, look at you. Don’t you know how amazing YOU are? I’m not going to force you to feel something for me that you can’t, but as far as I see it, I’m going to have to one day settle for someone that will never be enough or be alone.”
“I don’t know what I feel about anything, Jamie. All I wanted for years was to live in peace, and I have been, and it has always been enough. As far as dating goes, once in a great while there had been women, like Amy. There had been one in particular that I foolishly married. It was a long time ago, and it failed quite quickly. She couldn’t even empathize with my father’s death. I mean I was there when he died. He died in my arms, Jamie. It was a rough period for me, and it changed who I was, and it’s part of why I keep people at a distance.”
“I’m so sorry, Sam. I didn’t know.”
“Don’t be, it was a long time ago, and I’ve moved on from it. I don’t have time to dedicate to anything or anyone else even if I wanted to. If this was another time or place, then maybe. I might have been a different person. All I know is that I don’t know and I’m not sure if I ever will. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”
****
I did well on my presentation with Sam and Amy in front of NSK in hopes that they would agree to build a partnership to get their spirits and liquor products on retail shelves all over the country. I felt excited for them despite making the decision to resign anyway.
In the final two weeks after I submitted my resignation letter, Sam kept his distance and gave me space. I knew Sam did it because he thought it was what I wanted and maybe it helped him with the situation. It hurt to see him that way, but I knew it was the best thing for the both of us. Every day was dramatic, and emotions were running at an all-time high, and it wasn’t good to have all this drama in our lives.
We both were going to be better for it, and the ironic thing was I knew I was supposed to feel better the more time I spent away from him, but it only made me feel sadder. I missed his presence, and I could deny it all I wanted, despite everything I loved getting to know him. I tried shaking off the thought, but it was of no use. This wasn’t going to end happily ever after, this wasn’t a love story.
I had to have a long talk with myself and understand that some things don’t end the way I hoped they would and it wasn’t my fault it didn’t. Some people were just not meant to be together, and I had to be okay with knowing that. It sounded logical, but she would surely miss Sam. I felt comfortable around him enough to be myself, and for the first time in a long time, the way he looked at me sometimes made me feel like I was beautiful. A feeling I rarely felt, but it was good when it happened. I was really going to miss him.
I had stopped by the office late with a cardboard box in tow to collect my belongings from my cubicle. I noticed Sam’s office door was closed, it made my heart drop. After packing up my things, answering questions and saying goodbye to the staff as they went home for the evening, Sam’s door finally opened. He stopped immediately once he saw me standing there.
“Jamie, what are you doing here?”
“Hi, Sam. I just came to pick up my belongings.”
“Oh. Need any help?”
“No, I’m just about done.”
“Alright. Can you at least give me your opinion on something?”
“Sam, I’ve gotta go.”
“Please?”
“Alright, what is it?”
“I wanted to get your opinion on the social media campaign for the retail launch. You were always good with content.”
“Okay, I’ll take a look at it.”
“Great! The storyboard is in my car, let me go get it. I’ll be right back.” Sam said as he ran out the door.
A minute later, the door swung open, “Did you find it?”
“Find what?” the voice said. I looked up, and it wasn’t Sam, it was Mark, the Foundation’s attorney.
“Oh, sorry, I thought you were Sam.”
“Speaking of which, where is he? Gone for the day?”
“No, he just stepped out for a minute, but he’ll be back.”
/> “What’s with the box?” Mark stood near my desk.
“I’m packing my things. I don’t know if Sam told you, but I quit.” I explained.
“Really? Why?” His finger traced the top of the box with my belongings. Mark started to close the distance between us, and it began to make me uncomfortable, so I walked around him to increase the distance between us.
“It was time to find something more my speed, I guess.” I walked to the door to see where Sam was. I didn’t see his car anywhere. Where is he?
“Well, that’s disappointing.” Mark stood before me. How get over here so fast?
I took a step backward until I had my back against the wall. Mark closed the distance between us and stood within a foot of me, I could feel his hot breath on me. He put a hand on either side of my head on the wall, and he leaned forward and tried to kiss me.
Fortunately, I was quick thinking and shoved him, “Stop!” but he didn’t listen.
He took a step forward again with more assertiveness and tried to grab me by the shoulder, “Oh, come on. I know you want it.”
“I said stop, don’t you dare touch me,” I shouted as I tried to shove him again, but he caught my wrist before I could do so and he forcefully pushed me back against the wall.
“You know you want it so why are you trying to fight it.” I struggled against his grip, he was much stronger than me.
“Let go of me. Sam is going to be here any minute.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, I saw his car exit the parking lot right before I pulled in. He’s gone, my dear.”
I was shocked to hear that Sam had left me alone, “What?”
“Now, stop fighting and give me what I came for.” He struggled to pin me against the wall.
“I said stop!” I hissed, and I kicked him in his balls and Mark fell to his knees in pain, and I kicked him in the stomach for good measure. “When a girl says stop, you stop!”
“You bitch!” Mark groaned in pain.
“I’m a what?” I asked as I was about to kick him again until I heard the door open. It was Sam.
“What in the hell is going on?” Sam asked, eyes wide open.
“She kicked me!” Mark groaned. “I’m going to have you arrested for assault. She’s crazy, Sam!”
“You’re a liar! Sam, he tried to attack me and force me to have sex with him.”
“You stupid bitch!” Mark shouted as he clamored up and lunged at me.
I was ready to use what I knew in Mixed Martial Arts to defend myself, but Sam beat me to it. He grabbed Mark in time and held him by the lapels on his jacket and punched him square in the jaw.
“Get up!” Sam grabbed Mark by the collar. I saw the rage in Sam’s eyes, “Get the fuck up and get out of here. You’re fired. I don’t want to see you here ever again.”
“You believe that bitch?” Blood sputtered out of Mark’s mouth. “After everything I’ve done for me?”
“I said get out before I press charges! Get out and don’t come back.” Sam dragged Mark by the collar and threw him outside into the parking lot pavement.
Mark scrambled to his car muttering profanities and quickly got into his car and sped out. Sam watched Mark leave through the doorway to make sure that he left and did not make an attempt to retaliate. His chest rose up and down intensely and his fists clenched. He was so furious you could see the rage in his eyes and stared out the door until he no longer saw Mark’s tail lights in the distance.
I had never seen him this furious before, the silence and the intensity at which he stood there in the doorway; it was almost scary. He slowly turned around then, his eyes softening.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. Are you?”
He ignored the question, “Did he touch you?”
“No, not really. I was scared Sam, where did you go?”
“I realized that I left the campaign agenda at my house so I drove there as quick as I could to go pick it up. It wasn’t going to take long, but if I didn’t leave, he wouldn’t have done what he did to you.”
“Sam, it’s okay. He didn’t do anything.”
“But he could have and would have.”
“But he didn’t.”
“It’s my fault. If he laid a hand on you…” Sam stopped himself and then punched his wall before and started pacing. He raked a hand through his hair.
“Thanks to you he didn’t, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.”
He stopped pacing to look at me. He stood there searching and staring, and I don’t know what made me see it, but I saw a battle going on in his eyes. He was clearly fighting something in his head, and I didn’t know what but before I had a chance to ask, he walked to me quickly and pulled me into his arms before I had an opportunity to realize what was happening.
He leaned in close, so close that our breath mingled together. He wrapped his arms around me tighter, as though he didn’t want to let me go. I look up to meet his eyes, and I saw a pained expression. He made a plea through his intense gaze, his thoughts asking me permission.
“Please…” I whispered. It was all he needed.
He kissed me feverishly and with a strong sense of urgency. A need mixed with an innate tenderness that I wanted for so long. He ran his fingers through my hair, clutching and kisses me harder. It wasn’t too rough but more warmth in the exploration of my mouth. Our tongues developing into a dance of their own slow rhythm.
Sensations I didn’t know existed surged through me; I moaned his name. His fingertips caressed let go of my hair and traced a line down my cheek and neck before going up again to hold my face.
He stopped the kiss, his breath ragged, “What are you doing to me?”.
His focus falls on my mouth, desire in his eyes. He presses his lips to me again and gently shoves me back against the wall. His knee parting my own and I could feel his erection against my hip. He presses his tongue in between my lips and devours me whole. He kisses me hard again, and I want more.
He’s pressing himself against me and starts to places light kisses down my neck hungrily. He groans with a frustrated need. He seemed to want more as well. His kiss was hard and full of heat and desire. He pulled me tighter and deepened the kiss. I melted into him, and all of the pent-up energy, emotion, and frustration became the fuel for this hunger for more and I untucked his shirt and ran my hands underneath and over his chest, stomach, and back.
Sam murmured something unintelligible against my neck, I want him, and he wants me, finally. “We can’t do this here.” He managed to say.
“You’re right,” I respond. My hand slid down past his stomach and stopped at his belt buckle. Sam sucked in his breath and waited to see what I would do. I lowered my hand even further and grazed his erection. He groaned again.
He used his knee to part my legs farther apart, and his hands gripped my behind and lifted me up, pulling me into his erection. I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist, and he presses into me roughly eliciting a moan. Sam, anxious for release, begins to grind against me.
“I don’t live too far.” Sam suggested, “But I don’t think I can wait that long.”
“I can’t either,” I moaned again. “But we need to…”
“You’re right. More privacy.” He said as he released me so I could stand upright. “Come on, let’s go.”
He picked up the file he had brought in as well as the box with my belongings, and I grabbed my purse off the floor. He grabbed my hand, shut off the lights and hurried me outside. He proceeded to lock the office door and unlock his car door and shoved the box and file into the trunk.
We got into the car, and he started the engine and quickly backed up out of the parking spot and pulled out of the driveway. His heaving breathing was loud and created an intensity within the silence. It didn’t take long for us to pull up to his house, he lived within a few minutes of the office.
Once parked, he shut off the engine and immediately
got out and walked around the car and opened the passenger door for me. He helped me out of the car and locked the car door and walked with me through his front patio to his front door.
“What about my purse?” I asked.
“I’ll get it later.” He huffed. He was a man of a few words when he wanted something.
As he unlocked his front door and walked inside, his indoor lights turned on. They ran on motion sensors. Before I could tell him that he had a beautiful and exquisite home, he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom.
Owen, who was already in the house, followed us to the bedroom. “Owen, go!” Sam commanded. Owen immediately halts and makes a grunting noise and reluctantly walks away.
Sam carried over the threshold and kicked the door shut with his foot and gently dropped me on his king-sized bed. I was wet with anticipation, and I couldn’t wait for what was about to happen. It was a long time coming for the both of us. Sam shrugged off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt as quickly as he could.
He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks, not giving me the opportunity to take pleasure in doing those things for him. He didn’t want to waste time. He was ready. Shirtless, he looked sexier than I imagined. He sat down on the edge of his bed right next to me, and I lifted my arms as he pulled my top and undershirt over my head.
He got on the bed and laid down next to me pulling off my shoes and socks and tossing them on the floor next to his clothes. He unhooked the front clasp of my bra and pulled that off too. His hands cupped my right breast and kneaded it gently. His lips hovered over mine, close enough but didn’t quite touch. His hand slid down from my breast, past my stomach and eventually reached my mound.
I was already wet but he started to rub me slowly at first and then picked up speed the more I moaned. He silenced me with his lips as he rubbed me fervently through my jeans. I squirmed under his touch, and before I couldn’t take it anymore, he cupped my breast again.
He moved back and forth from one breast to the other licking and sucking on the nipples until they got hard. As difficult as it was, he started to unbutton my jeans. He lowered the zipper enough to slide his hand inside of my jeans and under the cotton elastic briefly before sliding his hand out. Such a tease.
Twelve Miles (Serendipity series Book 1) Page 11