Sam pulls my zipper the rest of the way down, and I lifted my hips up to assist him in taking off the rest of my clothing. As he stood up to take off his own suit pants, I slid my nakedness underneath the warmth of his thick comforters. There was something so hypnotic about the way he removed his pants and boxer briefs.
He stared at me with desire and affection in his eyes, and it confirmed at that moment that I was where I needed to be. Sam got under the covers after he prepared himself and got on top of me, parting my legs.
“Ready?” His eyes sought confirmation.
“I’ve been ready,” I responded, and he thrust inside at once. I gasped and gripped the sheets as my body stretched to accommodate him. He paused allowing me to get used to the feeling of the weight of him on top of me and the feeling of him inside of me.
Sam didn’t wait long, it must have been tough for him to remain patient and take my experience into consideration, as turned on as he was. He couldn’t wait anymore and begin to move in and out, slowly and then as he grew confident he moved in and out at a steady speed, grunting each time he slid back in.
“My, God…” I wrapped my legs around his waist, increasing the sensations of his lovemaking.
“You like that?” Sam murmured.
“Are you trying to talk dirty?” I giggled.
“No.” He grunted under his breath as he thrust his hips against me harder and faster, he wanted a quick release. I mimicked his movements, matching them to meet his thrusts. He started to grunt at the same fast intervals as when he slid back in.
Sam must have been close to a climax because he started pumping slower but still moved his hips rougher and harder to fill me to the hilt. His groans started getting louder, and every time he thrust his hips his headboard slammed against the wall, but Sam didn’t care.
“Ugh…almost there.” He muttered.
“Me too.” I moaned. “Faster.”
Sam started to pick up speed with wild and rough abandon, the headboard created loud slamming noises against the wall, hopefully without the neighbors’ knowledge.
As if on cue, my body convulsed at the climax and shuddered with ecstasy and satisfaction. I could not take much more, but Sam kept going, he hadn’t reached the finish line yet. It didn’t take long, with one rough and deep thrust he climaxed and groaned my name.
His body collapsed on top of mine until he caught his breath. Sam eventually rolled over onto his back and pulled me to him. For a while, neither one of us said anything, for me it was the fear that he would realize what he had just done and freak out like he did the last time he kissed me. A part of me hoped that if I said nothing, that realization would never come for him.
His body smelled good as I inhaled to take more of him in; it was an earthy mix of cologne and his natural ‘Sam’ scent. Sam pulled more of the covers over the both of us and pulled me closer to him. He kissed my forehead and laid his cheek on my head. Sam sighed deeply, and I wondered what he was thinking. It didn’t take long for me to find out.
“Hey, you alright?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m perfectly content.”
“Me too.” He responded, and we just laid there until I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep with the thoughts of, if not saying a word after post-coital bliss was a bad sign.
I woke up the next morning, earlier than usual and I was laying on my side facing him. Sam, was still asleep, laying on his stomach and sprawled out. His face was turned away from me. For a moment I watched him sleep; I could go on doing this forever if he let me.
I traced an imaginary line down his back with my fingertips, and I could feel his calm breaths going in and out. I wondered what he dreamt about when he slept. Was it about me? Was it about anything? As much as Sam was as transparent as a person could be about his life and his father, but there were parts of him that I know he kept contained and I couldn’t imagine what they could be. Parts of his life that could make him vulnerable and susceptible to pain and maybe was the reason why he insisted on being alone or kept any relationship he had on the surface.
After this, was I still on the surface? Was this still his version of keeping me at a distance? I don’t know if sex still came easy for him, he admitted it did in a past life but did it still now?
He said that he wanted to be alone and he had no time for anyone in his life due to his busy schedule and the annoyance of being in the limelight but were they just excuses? I know when it came to me he was constantly battling thoughts in his head, and I couldn’t help notice that it didn’t take much for me to push him away and for him to make me want to run away.
As soon as he woke up, he and I would have to have a talk, and there was a strong possibility it could get ugly or not at all, but it needed to get done anyhow. He looked peaceful when he slept, I didn’t want to disturb him, so I laid there and waited.
Sam eventually woke up; his eyes fluttering open. He rolled over onto his back released a loud yawn as he stretched from his fingertips to his toes and then he looked at me and smiled. It was one of those smiles of content that I’ve never seen on him before. He looked well rested.
“Hey.” Sam sighed as he caressed my cheek and down my shoulders and arm with the back of his fingers. He just laid there staring. “What are you thinking?”
“Me? You’re asking me what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah.”
“A lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“Like what do we do now?” I explained.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what we do now. Where do we go? What is this?”
“You’re such a worrywart.” He chuckled. His easygoingness at the seriousness of my voice confused me.
“I’m serious.” I smiled.
“I know you are.” Sam turned onto his side so that his whole body could face me. “I’m not going to chuck you out of my house if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“No, I wasn’t…”
“Look, last night was great, and I don’t know what I’m feeling right now.”
“Here we go…” I said getting up to put my clothes back on, but he stopped me.
“That’s not what I meant. If you’ll not jump to conclusions and just listen to me.”
“Okay,” I said.
“As I said, last night was great but don’t think I regret it. You don’t know how long I’ve been debating back and forth.”
“Debating about what.”
“Jamie, I don’t know how capable I am of anything. All I’ve known in my life for the past decade was support the memory of my father, my obligations with the City and the country club and that’s it. That’s all I’ve known. With that comes a lot of conference calls, meetings, events, rubbing elbows and traveling. Not to mention the constant calls from the general public, being hit on, being approached by fans…”
“Wow.”
“It’s a lot to deal with, and it isn’t exactly fun. I love supporting my father’s memory, I don’t regret any of it and I’d do it forever if I’m able to but with that comes a lot of obligations and chaos and I’m barely holding on to my sanity.”
“So you’re saying adding me in would just take the chaos over the edge?” I ask.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is somehow your presence makes all the chaos easier to tolerate but bringing someone into that chaos and my need for quiet…”
“I get it, Sam.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I finally get it, you’re just hesitant because you’re afraid of making everything worse for everyone including yourself.”
“So you aren’t upset?”
“For once, no.”
“Jamie, last night was fantastic. I want you to believe that. I guess all I’m saying is I just don’t know what to do now. I need to think for a while.”
“I’ll give you the space you need, just promise me you’ll call me when you’re finished
.”
After breakfast, Sam and I drove back to the office so that I could put my belongings into my car and go home. Sam helped load the box into the back seat of my car and gave me a long hug goodbye, asking once more if I could come back to the Foundation. I had to decline once more, like Sam needing time to think and getting space I needed to do the same. I was incapable of working with someone I cared about and had to do some ‘me’ work of my own.
After loading my car, Sam went into the Foundation office. Sam figured he would do some work inside since he was already there. Owen was still outside roaming around, sniffing the dirt and plants that surrounded the exterior of the office before running back to my car.
“Well boy, this is as far as you can go, you need to go back inside,” I petted him one last time. I would have to walk him back into the office to make sure he stayed put.
A critter running down the sidewalk a distance away caught Owen’s attention and he pulled out of my grasp and barked excitedly and took off after it.
“Owen! Come back here!” I ran after him. Owen had never ventured far from the office when he was there let alone took off down the street unless Sam was with him. I was worried for Owen, and if I didn’t catch up to him, he might get lost and not find his way back.
“Owen! Damn dog.” I called as I ran after him. Owen chased the little squirrel in circles and sometimes zigzagged in and out of the street. Fortunately, it was during a slow period on Saturday morning when cars weren’t as frequent.
I finally caught up to Owen when he stopped to bark at the squirrel up a tiny tree planted on the center island in the street.
“Owen, come on. You aren’t supposed to be this far from the office.” I said as I tugged him by the collar until Owen noticed another shiny object and escaped from my grasp and started running towards the direction of the office.
That’s when it happened. All I heard was a loud screech, felt pain and then everything went black.
Chapter Eleven
SAM
JAMIE HAD BEEN IN THE ICU in a coma after being hit by a delivery van several days prior. I heard the loud screech and went outside to see what it was. That was when I saw Owen running towards me playfully, not noticing the commotion.
It wasn’t until I rushed to the scene did I realize it had been Jamie lying on the ground, bleeding and unconscious. The ICU doctor had notified her family that she not only had severe lacerations but she also had several fractures, internal bleeding and a slight hemorrhage in the brain. They also had her on a ventilator and showed no signs that she would wake up or was responsive to anything they said to her. They stated that Jamie had a small chance of survival and it was best to prepare for that. Everyone that knew her refused to give up on the fact that Jamie was a fighter.
It was the first time I had met her parents and family or anyone in her life at all, and they were kind enough to update me. I officially met her bandmates and Felix, students from the training center and along with the staff at the Foundation were all there for her.
I also met friends that she had that I didn’t recognize and everyone came as soon as they heard about what had happened to her. She had a lot of people that cared about her, and I didn’t think Jamie ever realized how important she was to a lot of people in her life.
The hospital staff did not let anyone visit with her as long as she was in critical condition and asked everyone including her family to return home. They also stated that if anything changed, they would alert her family and in turn, they can update everyone else.
I had stayed at the hospital every day that Jamie was in the hospital, sometimes talking to the police, talking to those that knew where but I was mostly there because I wanted to be there when she finally woke up. It took an enormous amount of convincing by the hospital staff that I couldn’t be there 24/7 but I eventually agreed to go home.
I couldn’t help but feel to blame for this happening to her, and I wanted to fix things, but there was nothing I could do. Before I went home, I ran into one of her best friend’s, Lisa and we had a long conversation in the hospital cafeteria about Jamie and how much she cared about me.
I found out that Jamie had gotten hit by the van that was probably meant for Owen when she had chased him down the street. I also learned from Lisa that Jamie had cared about me more than I could have ever realized despite our many arguments about the subject. She had put her heart and soul into everything she pursued, and I had expected her to just understand where I was coming from. As much as I cared about her, I never really tried hard enough to understand where she was coming from. I kept pushing her away.
I made sure I remained busy the months after her accident. The last time Jamie and I spoke, I had told her I needed time to think. I kept tabs on her condition whenever they were provided to me. Through Felix and the grapevine, Jamie had woken up from her coma a month into being admitted to the hospital and was started to regain more of her memory each day that passed. She even began to talk more coherently.
I chose not to visit her or even when they allowed her to go home because I did not want my presence to cause her any more pain. I worried about her, but I knew that she was getting better by the minute without me and she would be back to her old self in no time as long as she took it easy and went to her scheduled physical therapy sessions.
As a result of their presentation to NSK, they had agreed to the partnership and therefore finalized the process of placing their branded products on retail shelves and in restaurants throughout the country. The NSK executives decided to partner with Ellis Enterprises was because of Jamie’s idea of branded BBQ and seasonings, an idea that Amy and I were unaware of that she threw in at the last minute when NSK seemed hesitant throughout most of the presentation. Jamie’s idea had clinched it for us at the last minute, and because of her, we formed a significant partnership that will vastly improve the Jerry Ellis brand. My father was not only a music legend, but he was well-known for being a food and beverage connoisseur.
Once finalized, things had gotten even busier for the organization, and we had to hire three more staff members, and it still didn’t feel like enough. When Jamie worked there, she was so efficient, and her idealism helped us make headway, but now we were starting to slip behind again. I had spent every week traveling, and when I was in town, I spent long hours in the office and often did not get home until well past midnight.
It wasn’t until the following week did it start to slow down a tad as we had finalized the logistics of our retail and big box shelf placements. Things weren’t expected to pick up again for a while, but I wanted to take the opportunity to catch up on some long overdue paperwork when I heard loud commotion come from the front office.
What was going on?
Curious as to the nature of the noise, I opened my office door to see a crowd of staff members surrounding Jamie and her friend Lisa. She stood there with a cane to keep her balance while Lisa held her purse in one hand and had her hand on Jamie’s back to help her balance. The staff excitedly bombarded Jamie with questions and light hugs. They made remarks about how much they missed her and asked her how she was doing. I walked out of my office hesitantly to join the commotion, but I wasn’t quite sure what to Jamie’s state of mind was about me.
Jamie looked up and noticed me despite the commotion and chaos and her smile instantly turned expressionless, “Hello, Sam.”
“Hello Jamie, how are you?” I asked cautiously as the room went silent.
“I’m doing well, considering.” Jamie nodded towards the cane as she limped forward a couple of steps.
“Looks like physical therapy is helping.” I smiled.
“It is. Slowly but surely.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I wanted to talk to you. Can we, for a minute?”
“Absolutely, I’ve only got a few minutes, though. I was just finishing up some paperwork in my office, but I need to go home early and pack. I have an early fli
ght in the morning.” I averted her gaze. I tried to not look at her, but I couldn’t help it.
“I wanted to talk to you about what I had said at the victory party at Felix’s house, among other things,” Jamie said as I closed my office door.
“Please, sit.” I gestured towards the guest chairs.
“No, thank you. I’ve been doing nothing but mostly sitting. I’d like to at least try to stand up for a while.”
“Jamie, what happened to you was my fault. If I had been paying to Owen’s whereabouts…I guess I thought he was in the office with me.”
“None of this was your fault or Owen’s fault. It just happened.”
“If he hadn’t run away…”
“Sam, I missed you.”
“What?”
“Sam, I don’t want you to stay away. I missed being around you, and it hurt when I didn’t see you after I woke up in the hospital. It broke my heart but then my parents told me that you personally covered the entire hospital bill and that you offered to cover my physical therapy as long as I needed it. You shouldn’t have done that.”
“I knew it was going to be a burden to you and your family to cover all that.”
“You didn’t have to do it, we would have figured it out,” Jamie said.
“How?”
“It doesn’t matter, but we would have,” Jamie explained.
“I wanted to do it because I cared, I’d do anything to help you. When I walked away from you in the parking lot that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. When you had gotten into that accident, and I ran out there and saw you lying unconscious, it killed me. I felt angry, helplessness, fear, anxiety, and sadness. All at once, Jamie. I have never felt that intense as I did that day, seeing you lying there. God, to feel that helpless, I hadn’t felt like that since the day my father died. I have never cared that much about anyone since my dad’s death until now.”
“Until now?”
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