She and Allan

by H. Rider Haggard

  During our journey to Kor poor Inez never stirred. Whenever I went tolook at her in the litter, I found her lying there with her eyes openand a fixed stare upon her face which frightened me very much, since Ibegan to fear lest she should die. However I could do nothing to helpher, except urge the bearers to top speed. So swiftly did we travel downthe hill and across the plain that we reached Kor just as the sun wassetting. As we crossed the moat I perceived old Billali coming to meetus. This he did with many bows, keeping an anxious eye upon the litterwhich he had learned contained Umslopogaas. Indeed his attitude and thatof the Amahagger towards the two of us, and even Hans, thenceforwardbecame almost abject, since after our victory over Rezu and his deathbeneath the axe, they looked upon us as half divine and treated usaccordingly.

  "O mighty General," he said, "She-who-commands bids me conduct the ladywho is sick to the place that has been made ready for her, which is nearyour own so that you may watch over her if you will."

  I wondered how Ayesha knew that Inez was sick, but being too tiredto ask questions, merely bade him lead on. This he did, taking us toanother ruined house next to our own quarters which had been swept,cleaned and furnished after a fashion, and moreover cleverly roofed inwith mats, so that it was really quite comfortable. Here we found twomiddle-aged women of a very superior type, who, Billali informed me,were by trade nurses of the sick. Having seen her laid upon her bed, Icommitted Inez to their charge, since the case was not one that I daredto try to doctor myself, not knowing what drug of the few I possessedshould be administered to her. Moreover Billali comforted me with theinformation that soon She-who-commands would visit her and "make herwell again," as she could do.

  I answered that I hoped so and went to our quarters where I found anexcellent meal ready cooked and with it a stone flagon, of the contentsof which Billali said we were all three to drink by the command ofAyesha, who declared that it would take away our weariness.

  I tried the stuff, which was pale yellow in colour like sherry and, foraught I knew, might be poison, to find it most comforting, though itdid not seem to be very strong to the taste. Certainly, too, its effectswere wonderful, since presently all my great weariness fell from melike a discarded cloak, and I found myself with a splendid appetite andfeeling better and stronger than I had done for years. In short thatdrink was a "cocktail" of the best, one of which I only wish I possessedthe recipe, though Ayesha told me afterwards that it was distilled fromquite harmless herbs and not in any sense a spirit.

  Having discovered this, I gave some of it to Hans, also to Umslopogaas,who was with the wounded Zulus, who, we found, were progressing welltowards complete recovery, and lastly to Goroko who also was wornout. On all of these the effect of that magical brew proved mostsatisfactory.

  Then, having washed, I ate a splendid dinner, though in this respectHans, who was seated on the ground nearby, far outpassed my finestefforts.

  "Baas," he said, "things have gone very well with us when they mighthave gone very ill. The Baas Red-Beard is dead, which is a good thing,since a madman would have been difficult to look after, and a brain fullof moonshine is a bad companion for any one. Oh! without doubt he isbetter dead, though your reverend father the Predikant will have a hardjob looking after him there in the Place of Fires."

  "Perhaps," I said with a sigh, "since it is better to be dead thanto live a lunatic. But what I fear is that the lady his daughter willfollow him."

  "Oh, no! Baas," replied Hans cheerfully, "though I daresay that shewill always be a little mad also, because you see it is in her blood anddoubtless she has looked on dreadful things. But the Great Medicine willsee to it that she does not die after we have taken so much troubleand gone into such big dangers to save her. That Great Medicine is verywonderful, Baas. First of all it makes you General over those Amahaggerwho without you would never have fought, as the Witch who ties up herhead in a cloth knew well enough. Then it brings us safe through thebattle and gives strength to Umslopogaas to kill the old man-eatinggiant."

  "Why did it not give _me_ strength to kill him, Hans? I let him have twoExpress bullets on his chest, which hurt him no more than a tap upon thehorns with a dancing stick would hurt a bull-buffalo."

  "Oh! Baas, perhaps you missed him, who because you hit things sometimes,think that you do so always."

  Having waited to see if I would rise to this piece of insolence, whichof course I did not, he went on by way of letting me down easily, "Orperhaps he wore very good armour under his beard, for I saw some ofthose Amahagger who pulled his hair off and cut him to pieces, go awaywith what looked like little bits of brass. Also the Great Medicinemeant that he should be killed by Umslopogaas and not by you, sinceotherwise Umslopogaas would have been sad for the rest of his life,whereas now he will walk about the world as proud as a cock with twotails and crow all night as well as all day. Then, Baas, when Rezu brokethe square and the Amahagger began to run, without doubt it was theGreat Medicine which changed their hearts and made them brave again, sothat they charged at the right moment when they saw it going forward onyour breast, and instead of being eaten up, ate up the cannibals."

  "Indeed! I thought that the Lady who dwells yonder had something to dowith that business. Did you see her, Hans?"

  "Oh, yes! I saw her, Baas, and I think that without doubt she lifted thecloth from over her head and when the people of Rezu saw how ugly wasthe face beneath, it did frighten them a little. But doubtless the GreatMedicine put that thought into her also, for, Baas, what could a sillywoman do in such a case? Did you ever know of a woman who was of any usein a battle, or for anything else except to nurse babies, and this onedoes not even do that, no doubt because being so hideous under thatsheet, no man can be found to marry her."

  Now I looked up by chance and in the light of the lamps saw Ayeshastanding in the room, which she had entered through the open doorway,within six feet of Hans' back indeed.

  "Be sure Baas," he went on, "that this bundle of rags is nothing but acommon old cheat who frightens people by pretending to be a spook, as,if she dared to say that it was she who made those stinking Amahaggercharge, and not the Great Medicine of the Opener-of-Roads, I would tellher to her face."

  Now I was too paralysed to speak, and while I was reflecting that it wasfortunate Ayesha did not understand Dutch, she moved a little so thatone of the lamps behind her caused her shadow to fall on to the backof the squatting Hans and over it on to the floor beyond. He saw it andstared at the distorted shape of the hooded head, then slowly screwedhis neck round and looked upwards behind him.

  For a moment he went on staring as though he were frozen, then utteringa wild yell, he scrambled to his feet, bolted out of the house andvanished into the night.

  "It seems, Allan," said Ayesha slowly, "that yonder yellow ape of yoursis very bold at throwing sticks when the leopardess is not beneath thetree. But when she comes it is otherwise with him. Oh! make no excuse,for I know well that he was speaking ill things of me, because beingcurious, as apes are, he burns to learn what is behind my veil, andbeing simple, believes that no woman would hide her face unless itsfashion were not pleasing to the nice taste of men."

  Then, to my relief, she laughed a little, softly, which showed me thatshe had a sense of humour, and went on, "Well, let him be, for he is agood ape and courageous in his fashion, as he showed when he went out tospy upon the host of Rezu, and stabbed the murderer-priest by the stoneof sacrifice."

  "How can you know the words of Hans, Ayesha," I asked, "seeing that hespoke in a tongue which you have never learned?"

  "Perchance I read faces, Allan."

  "Or backs," I suggested, remembering that his was turned to her.

  "Or backs, or voices, or hearts. It matters little which, since read Ido. But have done with such childish talk and lead me to this maiden whohas been snatched from the claws of Rezu and a fate that is worse thandeath. Do you understand, Allan, that ere the demon Rezu took her towife, the plan was to sacrifice her own father to her and then eat himas the woman
with her was eaten, and before her eyes? Now the father isdead, which is well, as I think the little yellow man said to you--nay,start not, I read it from his back [Ha!--JB]--since had he lived whosebrain was rotted, he would have raved till his death's day. Better,therefore, that he should die like a man fighting against a foeunconquerable by all save one. But she still lives."

  "Aye, but mindless, Ayesha."

  "Which, in great trouble such as she has passed, is a blessed state, OAllan. Bethink you, have there not been days, aye and months, in yourown life when you would have rejoiced to sleep in mindlessness? Andshould we not, perchance, be happier, all of us, if like the beasts wecould not remember, foreknow and understand? Oh! men talk of Heaven, butbelieve me, the real Heaven is one of dreamless sleep, since lifeand wakefulness, however high their scale and on whatever star, meanstruggle, which being so oft mistaken, must breed sorrow--or remorsethat spoils all. Come now."

  So I preceded her to the next ruined house where we found Inez lying onthe bed still clothed in her barbaric trappings, although the veil hadbeen drawn off her face. There she lay, wide-eyed and still, while thewomen watched her. Ayesha looked at her a while, then said to me,

  "So they tricked her out to be Ayesha's mock and image, and in timeaccepted by those barbarians as my very self, and even set the sealsof royalty on her," and she pointed to the gold discs stamped with thelikeness of the sun. "Well, she is a fair maiden, white and gently bred,the first such that I have seen for many an age. Nor did she wish thistrickery. Moreover she has taken no hurt; her soul has sunk deep into asea of horror and that is all, whence doubtless it can be drawn again.Yet I think it best that for a while she should remember naught, lesther brain break, as did her father's, and therefore no net of mine shalldrag her back to memory. Let that return gently in future days, and thenof it not too much, for so shall all this terror become to her a void inwhich sad shapes move like shadows, and as shadows are soon forgotand gone, no more to be held than dreams by the awakening sense. Standaside, Allan, and you women, leave us for a while."

  I obeyed, and the women bowed and went. Then Ayesha drew up her veil,and knelt down by the bed of Inez, but in such a fashion that I couldnot see her face although I admit that I tried to do so. I could see,however, that she set her lips against those of Inez and as I gatheredby her motions, seemed to breathe into her lips. Also she lifted herhands and placing one of them upon the heart of Inez, for a minute ormore swayed the other from side to side above her eyes, pausing at timesto touch her upon the forehead with her finger-tips.

  Presently Inez stirred and sat up, whereon Ayesha took a vessel of milkwhich stood upon the floor and held it to her lips. Inez drank to thelast drop, then sank on to the bed again. For a while longer Ayeshacontinued the motions of her hands, then let fall her veil and rose.

  "Look, I have laid a spell upon her," she said, beckoning to me to drawnear.

  I did so and perceived that now the eyes of Inez were shut and that sheseemed to be plunged in a deep and natural sleep.

  "So she will remain for this night and that day which follows," saidAyesha, "and when she wakes it will be, I think, to believe herself oncemore a happy child. Not until she sees her home again will she findher womanhood, and then all this story will be forgotten by her. Ofher father you must tell her that he died when you went out to hunt theriver-beasts together, and if she seeks for certain others, that theyhave gone away. But I think that she will ask little more when shelearns that he is dead, since I have laid that command upon her soul."

  "Hypnotic suggestion," thought I to myself, "and I only hope to heaventhat it will work."

  Ayesha seemed to guess what was passing through my mind, for she noddedand said,

  "Have no fear, Allan, for I am what the black axe-bearer and the littleyellow man called a 'witch' which means, as you who are instructed know,one who has knowledge of medicine and other things and who holds a keyto some of the mysteries that lie hid in Nature."

  "For instance," I suggested, "of how to transport yourself into a battleat the right moment, and out of it again--also at the right moment."

  "Yes, Allan, since watching from afar, I saw that those Amahagger curswere about to flee and that I was needed there to hearten them and toput fear into the army of Rezu. So I came."

  "But how did you come, Ayesha?"

  She laughed as she answered,

  "Perhaps I did not come at all. Perhaps you only thought I came; since Iseemed to be there the rest matters nothing."

  As I still looked unconvinced she went on,

  "Oh! foolish man, seek not to learn of that which is too high for you.Yet listen. You in your ignorance suppose that the soul dwells withinthe body, do you not?"

  I answered that I had always been under this impression.

  "Yet, Allan, it is otherwise, for the body dwells within the soul."

  "Like the pearl in an oyster," I suggested.

  "Aye, in a sense, since the pearl which to you is beautiful, is to theoyster a sickness and a poison, and so is the body to the soul whosetemple it troubles and defiles. Yet round it is the white and holy soulthat ever seeks to bring the vile body to its own purity and colour, yetoft-times fails. Learn, Allan, that flesh and spirit are the deadliestfoes joined together by a high decree that they may forget their hateand perfect each other, or failing, be separate to all eternity, thespirit going to its own place and the flesh to its corruption."

  "A strange theory," I said.

  "Aye, Allan, and one which is so new to you that never will youunderstand it. Yet it is true and I set it out for this reason. The soulof man, being at liberty and not cooped within his narrow breast, is intouch with that soul of the Universe, which men know as God Whom theycall by many names. Therefore it has all knowledge and perhaps allpower, and at times the body within it, if it be a wise body, can drawfrom this well of knowledge and abounding power. So at least can I. Andnow you will understand why I am so good a doctoress and how I came toappear in the battle, as you said, at the right time, and to leave itwhen my work was done."

  "Oh! yes," I answered, "I quite understand. I thank you much for puttingit so plainly."

  She laughed a little, appreciating my jest, looked at the sleeping Inez,and said,

  "The fair body of this lady dwells in a large soul, I think, though oneof a somewhat sombre hue, for souls have their colours, Allan, and stainthat which is within them. She will never be a happy woman."

  "The black people named her Sad-Eyes," I said.

  "Is it so? Well, I name her Sad-Heart, though for such often there isjoy at last. Meanwhile she will forget; yes, she will forget the worstand how narrow was the edge between her and the arms of Rezu."

  "Just the width of the blade of the axe, _Inkosikaas_," I answered."But tell me, Ayesha, why could not that axe cut and why did my bulletsflatten or turn aside when these smote the breast of Rezu?"

  "Because his front-armour was good, Allan, I suppose," she repliedindifferently, "and on his back he wore none."

  "Then why did you fill my ears with such a different tale about thathorrible giant having drunk of a Cup of Life, and all the rest?" I askedwith irritation.

  "I have forgotten, Allan. Perhaps because the curious, such as you are,like to hear tales even stranger than their own, which in the days to bemay become their own. Therefore you will be wise to believe only what Ido, and of what I tell you, nothing."

  "I don't," I exclaimed exasperated.

  She laughed again and replied,

  "What need to say to me that which I know already? Yet perhaps in thefuture it may be different, since often by the alchemy of the mind thefables of our youth are changed into the facts of our age, and we cometo believe in anything, as your little yellow man believes in somesavage named Zikali, and those Amahagger believe in the talisman roundyour neck, and I who am the maddest of you all, believe in Love andWisdom, and the black warrior, Umslopogaas, believes in the virtue ofthat great axe of his, rather than in those of his own courage and ofthe streng
th that wields it. Fools, every one of us, though perchanceI am the greatest fool among them. Now take me to the warrior,Umslopogaas, whom I would thank, as I thank you, Allan, and the littleyellow man, although he jeers at me with his sharp tongue, not knowingthat if I were angered, with a breath I could cause him to cease to be."

  "Then why did you not choose Rezu to cease to be, and his army also,Ayesha?"

  "It seems that I have done these things through the axe of Umslopogaasand by the help of your generalship, Allan. Why then, waste my ownstrength when yours lay to my hand?"

  "Because you had no power over Rezu, Ayesha, or so you told me."

  "Have I not said that my words are snowflakes, meant to melt and leaveno trace, hiding my thoughts as this veil hides my beauty? Yet as thebeauty is beneath the veil, perchance there is truth beneath the words,though not that truth you think. So you are well answered, and for therest, I wonder whether Rezu thought I had no power over him when yonderon the mountain spur he saw me float down upon his companies like aspirit of the night. Well, perchance some day I shall learn this andmany other things."

  I made no answer, since what was the use of arguing with a woman whotold me frankly that all she said was false. So, although I longed toask her why these Amahagger had such reverence for the talisman thatHans called the Great Medicine, since now I guessed that her firstexplanations concerning it were quite untrue, I held my tongue.

  Yet as we went out of the house, by some coincidence she alluded to thisvery matter.

  "I wish to tell you, Allan," she said, "why it was those Amahagger wouldnot accept you as a General till their eyes had seen that which you wearupon your breast. Their tale of a legend of this very thing seemed thatof savages or of their cunning priests, not to be believed by a wise mansuch as you are, like some others that you have heard in Kor. Yet it hasin it a grain of truth, for as it chanced a little while ago, about ahundred years ago, I think, the old wizard whose picture is cut uponthe wood, came to visit her who held my place before me as ruler of thistribe--she was very like me and as I believe, my mother, Allan--becauseof her repute for wisdom.

  "At that time I have heard there was a question of war between theworshippers of Lulala and the grandfather of Rezu. But this Zikali toldthe People of Lulala that they must not fight the People of Rezu untilin a day to come a white man should visit Kor and bring with him a pieceof wood on which was cut the image of a dwarf like to that of Zikalihimself. Then and not before they must fight and conquer the People ofRezu. Now this story came down among them and you who may have thoughtthe first tale magical, will understand it in its simplicity: is it notso, you wise Allan?"

  "Oh! yes," I answered, "except that I do not see how Zikali can havecome here a hundred years ago, since men do not live as long, althoughhe pretends to have done so."

  "No, Allan, nor do I, but perhaps it was his father, or his grandfatherwho came, since being observant, you will have noted that if the parentis mis-formed, so often are the descendants; also that the pretence ofwizardry at times comes down with the blood."

  Again I made no answer for I saw that Ayesha was fooling me, and beforeshe could exhaust that amusement we reached the place where Umslopogaasand his men were gathered round a camp fire. He sat silent, but Gorokowith much animation was telling the story of the fight in picturesqueand colourful language, or that part of it which he had seen, for thebenefit of the two wounded men who took no share in it and who, lying ontheir blankets with heads thrust forward, were listening with eagernessto the entrancing tale. Suddenly they caught sight of Ayesha, and thoseof the party who could stand sprang to their feet, while one and allthey gave her the royal salute of _Bayete_.

  She waited till the sound had died away. Then she said,

  "I come to thank you and your men, O Wielder of the Axe, who have shownyourself very great in battle, and to say to you that my Spirit tellsme that every one of you, yes, even those who are still sick, will comesafe to your own land again and live out your years with honour."

  Again they saluted at this pleasing intelligence, when I had translatedit to them, for of course they knew no Arabic. Then she went on,

  "I am told, Umslopogaas, Son of the Lion, as a certain king was named inyour land, that the fight you made against Rezu was a very great fight,and that such a leap as yours above his head when you smote him with theaxe on the hinder parts where he wore no armour, and brought him to hisdeath, has not been seen before, nor will be again."

  I rendered the words, and Umslopogaas, preferring truth to modesty,replied emphatically that this was the case.

  "Because of that fight and that leap," Ayesha went on, "as for otherdeeds that you have done and will do, my Spirit tells me that your namewill live in story for many generations. Yet of what use is fame to thedead? Therefore I make you an offer. Bide here with me and you shallrule these Amahagger, and with them the remnant of the People of Rezu.Your cattle shall be countless and your wives the fairest in the land,and your children many, for I will lift a certain curse from off youso that no more shall you be childless. Do you accept, O Holder of theAxe?"

  When he understood, Umslopogaas, after pondering a moment, asked if Imeant to stay in this land and marry the white chieftainess who spokesuch wise words and could appear and disappear in the battle at herwill, and like a mountain-top hid her head in a cloud, which was his wayof alluding to her veil.

  I answered at once and with decision that I intended to do nothing ofthe sort and immediately regretted my words, since, although I spokein Zulu, I suppose she read their meaning from my face. At any rate sheunderstood the drift of them.

  "Tell him, Allan," she said with a kind of icy politeness, "that youwill not stop here and marry me, because if ever I chose a husband hewould not be a little man at the doors of whose heart so many women'shands have knocked--yes, even those that are black--and not, I think, invain. One, moreover, who holds himself so clever that he believes hehas nothing left to learn, and in every flower of truth that is shown tohim, however fair, smells only poison, and beneath, nurturing it, seesonly the gross root of falsehood planted in corruption. Tell him thesethings, Allan, if it pleases you."

  "It does not please me," I answered in a rage at her insults.

  "Nor is it needful, Allan, since if I caught the meaning of thatbarbarous tongue you use aright, you have told him already. Well, letthe jest pass, O man who least of all things desires to be Ayesha'shusband, and whom Ayesha least of all things desires as her spouse, andask the Axe-bearer nothing since I perceive that without you he willnot stay at Kor. Nor indeed is it fated that he should do so, for nowmy Spirit tells me what it hid from me when I spoke a moment gone, thatthis warrior shall die in a great fight far away and that between thenand now much sorrow waits him who save that of one, knows not how to winthe love of women. Let him say moreover what reward he desires since ifI can give it to him, it shall be his."

  Again I translated. Umslopogaas received her prophecies in stoicalsilence, and as I thought with indifference, and only said in reply,

  "The glory that I have won is my reward and the only boon I seek at thisqueen's hands is that if she can she should give me sight of a woman forwhom my heart is hungry, and with it knowledge that this woman lives inthat land whither I travel like all men."

  When she heard these words Ayesha said,

  "True, I had forgotten. Your heart also is hungry, I think, Allan, forthe vision of sundry faces that you see no more. Well, I will do mybest, but since only faith fulfils itself, how can I who must strive topierce the gates of darkness for one so unbelieving, know that they willopen at my word? Come to me, both of you, at the sunset to-morrow."

  Then as though to change the subject, she talked to me for a long whileabout Kor, of which she told me a most interesting history, true orfalse, that I omit here.

  At length, as though suddenly she had grown tired, waving her hand toshow that the conversation was ended, Ayesha went to the wounded men andtouched them each in turn.

  "Now the
y will recover swiftly," she said, and leaving the place wasgone into the darkness.