Insecure

by Michael Shevlin

  ‘This is more complicated than a branch post office,’ said Henry.

  ‘I robbed a fookin’ Natwest,’ said Sam, ‘more than this cunt has done.’ He sat down on the plastic chair. I took out the plastic wrapped Sig and placed it in front of him.

  ‘You can at least build this?’ I said, ‘this is about as simple as pistols get.’ He hawked another spit in my direction, a little catching my boot. I looked at Rich, who raised his eyebrows. Henry looked on impassively, this was my battle.

  I unwrapped the Sig and built it quickly, pulled back the stock and made sure the breech was empty. I held it by the barrel as if to give it to Sam but instead smashed him twice in the nose, that exploded blood on the second hit. He fell off the chair backwards and rolled onto his side. To his credit he came straight to his feet but I was ready and kicked him hard at the knee and he went down.

  ‘Awww…you broke my fookin’ nose,’ said Sam. I turned back to the table and took a magazine for the Sig and slotted it into the base of the gun and cocked it.

  ‘You do as we tell you or next time I’ll put a bullet in your knee and we’ll ask Barney for a replacement,’ I said, looking at Sam then Denzel. Denzel’s face was blank but his eyes were bright. ‘As far as I can tell, you weren’t in the army and you know about as much as I do, but know this: when you’re with us, I’m the fucking boss. Now get yourself cleaned up, we have a lot to do. The bathroom is over there.’ Denzel helped Sam to his feet and he left the bathroom. Henry walked over.

  ‘That was very well handled, I must say,’ he said quietly. My hands were shaking with the adrenaline. I had to do it, otherwise we would have no pecking order – another piece of Henry’s advice. Let them know who’s boss, if you have to use violence then use it, but you need to make it clear who the leader of the pack is.

  Sam came back. He was holding a tissue to his nose. Henry approached him,’ let’s have a look, shall we?’ Sam gingerly took the tissue away. Henry felt Sam’s nose with his fingers. ‘It’s not broken, that’s something.’

  ‘Wait til Barney hears about this,’ said Sam, knowingly.

  ‘He’s already threatened to kill us, he can’t do it twice,’ I said, ‘besides he thinks you’re ex-military, he won’t give a shit about some mook with a fetish for uniforms.’ Denzel stifled a laugh and started coughing to cover it up.

  ‘We have a lot to do, guys,’ said Rich, ‘so let’s get to it.’

  ‘Okay, what we’re doing is very simple. We have to get here,’ I pointed, ‘and access a computer. I need five minutes at the terminal and then we’re done. If someone hits a panic button – there are only two – the that’s going to make things a bit more interesting.’

  ‘So, this computer,’ asked Denzel, ‘does it open a safe or a vault?’

  ‘It does, but we’re not interested in the vault,’ said Rich.

  ‘Why not?’ asked Sam.

  ‘There’s not enough money in it,’ I said, ‘what we’re doing is transferring money to numbered accounts, we’ve found a way to hack it.’

  ‘So…we’re not really robbing the bank?’ he asked, frowning.

  ‘We are, electronically,’ I said, ‘but we need to create the impression that we’re trying to access the safe, hence the crowd control and why we built this set.’

  Denzel sat with a puzzled look on his face, ‘there’s only five of us, how many people in the bank?’

  ‘If no one is absent, thirty three but maybe ten more with temps and another ten customers and clients,’ said Rich. Denzel blew through his teeth. ‘I know, it’s a lot to handle, but we’ll have the element of surprise on our side.’

  ‘It’s not that,’ said Denzel, ‘won’t everyone be on the phone? They can just alert whoever is on the other end.’

  ‘We’ve thought about that quite carefully,’ said Henry, ‘which is why we’re going to set off the fire alarm.’

  ‘They should all hang up their conversations and go to the muster point,’ I continued.

  ‘We don’t exactly know where that is, but we’re ninety percent sure that it’s out front,’ said Rich, ‘me and Denzel will be at the door and we should be able to keep everyone in the lobby.’

  ‘Sam and I will herd up the stragglers,’ said Henry, ‘we can then move everyone to the conference room and lock them in it, by that time Dan should be finished and we’ll leave by the front door.’

  ‘Who’s driving the getaway car?’ asked Sam.

  ‘That’s not important,’ I said, ’but it’s sorted.’

  ‘Okay, so we arrive out front in a van or sommat,’ said Sam, ‘rush in shoutin’ and waving our guns about, you do some bollocks on the computer and then we fook off in a couple of shiftin’ motors?’

  ‘No,’ said Henry.

  ‘Because they’ll set off the panic alarms?’ said Denzel hopefully.

  ‘Exactly’ I said.

  ‘How are we going to get in then?’ asked Denzel.

  ‘Easy,’ I smiled, ‘they’re expecting us.’

  We spent a couple more hours practising where we’re supposed to be positioned and familiarising ourselves with the layout of the bank. Tomorrow, we were going to walk the route a few times to get feel for the streets and know what to expect. It would be busy on a Monday and we shouldn’t be noticed.

  Friday was the big day. We chose Friday for a couple of reasons. Firstly, everyone would be a bit frazzled by Friday anyway and we’d be a bit sharper for it – plus who wouldn’t jump at the chance of a free work break when the fire alarm went off?

  Secondly, whatever we did electronically on Friday would be harder to work out and trace at the weekend. Trying to get foreign banks to co-operate on a Saturday would be a bit tougher. It would just give us a little bit of extra time to cover our tracks. Not much, but maybe enough.

  Sam and Denzel were sitting at the table field stripping the Sigs. After the dramas of earlier, Sam had begrudgingly followed our orders and had now thawed to a point where he would speak to me without sneering. Denzel was a quiet one, who was clever but relaxed with it. He looked first, talked last. Henry had decided that Denzel was the one we should try and nobble. I was still undecided whether we should try at all.

  Henry stretched and yawned, ‘I think that’s me, lads,’ he said, in yawn-speak, ‘I’m off to get some kip. Can I give either of you chaps a lift?’

  ‘I’m going with Sam,’ said Denzel.

  ‘What way you going?’ asked Sam, looking up, ‘Denzel’s the other way from me.’

  ‘Where you headed, Denzel?’ asked Henry.

  ‘Camden,’ said Denzel.

  ‘Perfect,’ said Henry, ‘I’m going to Highgate.’

  ‘Can I take one of these home,’ asked Denzel, holding the Sig, ‘I just want to do it right.’

  ‘Sure,’ I said, ‘just don’t go showing it off, or robbing an off-license or anything.’

  Denzel pocketed the Sig and mumbled a see you to Sam. He climbed into the van with Henry, Rich shut the warehouse doors when the diesel clatter of the Transit faded.

  I sat back at the table, I picked up Sam’s packet of cigarettes and lifted them to see if he’d let me have one, he nodded and carried on oiling the Sig. I lit the cigarette and watched Sam work for a bit.

  I’ve always wondered how you become a henchman. All those Bond films I saw as a kid and the multitude of men willing to lay down their lives for their (usually mean) boss. Did they get paid really well? Were they indoctrinated? Dumb? Hypnotized?

  But Sam was, as far as I could make out, a pretty simple soul. He wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the box, but he wasn’t thick either. He probably could handle himself, given half a chance, but I got the impression that he won most of his battles with his size and his mouth.

  ‘Wouldn’t mind having a go with this,’ said Sam, admiring his handy work.

  ‘It’s not that great,’ I blew out a jet of smoke, ‘but the MP5 is awesome. We need somewhere quiet to shoot the things….fucking Barney, he said you guys knew wh
at you’re doing.’ Sam reddened.

  ‘I’ve shot shotguns, a couple of revolvers…’ he said, ‘but nothing like this.’

  ‘We probably won’t fire a shot, but still…’

  ‘Denzel’s fired lot’s of guns, been inside for a bit as well.’ Fuck, that’s all we need, someone with a sheet.

  ‘You?’ I asked.

  ‘Nah, just remand,’ said Sam, ‘assault, GBH, that kinda stuff.’

  ‘You?’

  ‘Clean as a whistle,’ I said, ’this is a once in a lifetime job. We do this and we retire.’ I watched Sam to see how he’d take it. He frowned a bit, but then continued trying to fit the stock to the gun.

  ‘How long you been working for Barney?’ I asked. Rich sat down next to me.

  ‘Off and on,’ he sighed, ‘couple of years.’

  ‘Anything interesting?’ asked Rich. Sam looked at Rich, ‘I used to work for Barney, back in the day.’

  ‘Oh yeah? Doing what?’

  ‘I managed Archipelagos for a couple of years,’ said Rich. Sam snorted a bit at that.

  ‘That place is a right shit hole now,’ he laughed, so did Rich.

  ‘So I hear.’ There was quiet aside from the hum of the heater and random metallic clicks as Sam dismantled the gun again.

  ‘All I’ve done is rough up a few people, collect a bit of money, errands, stuff like that…’ said Sam.

  ‘Pay well?’ Sam shrugged but didn’t say anything. Rich looked at me and cocked an eyebrow. ‘How much are you getting for this job?’ Sam looked at him, slitting his eyes.

  ‘Barney’s a fookin’ nutter, I’m not doing the dirty on him,’ said Sam.

  ‘What about if we make you an offer?’ He looked at me and Rich. ‘Tell Barney for all we care, he doesn’t trust us anyway…’ Sam stood up, his chair scraping on the floor. He pocketed his cigarettes and Zippo.

  ‘Fook that, Barney found out he’d fookin’ dump me in the canal,’ he said, walking towards the door.

  ‘He’ll probably do that anyway,’ said Rich, ‘you know how he hates loose ends.’ Sam paused at that and looked at us.

  ‘Barney tells me fook all,’ said Sam.

  ‘We don’t need a snitch,’ said Rich, ‘we just need someone else on our team we can trust.’

  ‘And we’re willing to pay for that trust,’ I said.

  ‘Handsomely,’ added Rich. Sam grimaced, you could almost hear the wheels and pulleys whirring in his head trying to weigh up the choice.

  I could understand his dilemma, but at the end of the day it didn’t matter how much we paid him because his fear of Barney would be a constant weight at the end of the scales, if he could resolve that then the money was almost irrelevant. But a big enough amount should tip the balance.

  ‘Okay,’ I said, ‘quarter of a mil - in an offshore account - and a passport.’ Sam bit his lip, his eyes darting from me to Rich.

  ‘I don’t have to do no spying or ‘owt?’ he asked, ‘Barney tells me nowt, anyway.’ Rich and I shook our heads.

  ‘Can I think about it?’ he said, ‘I won’t tell Barney…honest.’ The honest at the end was almost sweet.

  ‘We need to know tomorrow, if we are to get a passport for you…’ I said. Sam nodded and got up, he lit another cigarette.

  ‘I will tell you sommat for free,’ said Sam, ‘Denzel’s a fookin’ snake. Watch him right close.’ With that he left.

  CHAPTER 14

  Oliver Gardner’s handshake was like holding a mannequin’s hand. He shook all of our hands at the reception and led us through to the boardroom. I was expecting lots of red leather and wood panelling, but instead we were greeted with a light wooden table and glass partitions, smoked for privacy. Why do banks have to look like filling stations? Why can’t they look like venerable institutions any more?

  ‘I’ll just get Charles,’ smiled Oliver, ‘would you like a tea or a coffee?’

  ‘Coffee would be great,’ said Rich, ‘all round, I think.’

  ‘Marvelous,’ smiled Oliver again. He pressed a button on the conference call phone in the middle of the table, that looked like a mother ship from Aliens. ‘Vanessa, could we get coffee for five and tell Charles: Minsk Mining are here?’ He clicked off without waiting for a response and turned back to us smiling.

  ‘Okay, this is Gordon Blair, he is our CFO,’ Henry gave a curt nod, and I turned to Sam ‘this is Graham Canning –‘

  ‘- Alright, mate, how you doing?’ said Sam. I controlled the urge to roll my eyes.

  ‘ – he’s our exploration and discoveries director.’ Sam smiled widely at Oliver, who looked a little perturbed. ‘and I am Charles Wilson, CEO.’

  ‘While we wait for Charles, maybe you can give me a bit of background on your organisation?’

  ‘Certainly,’ I said, ‘we are an offshoot of Siberian Drilling and Exploration and have set up a company to drill, as yet, untapped resources in northern Russia. We have considerable investment as we have secured the rights to rich gas and bauxite fields…’

  ‘We have essentially cash based assets at present,’ continued Henry, ‘we are basically a shadow board for our backers who wish to remain removed from the day to day running of the company…’ The door opening and a tall, slim blond entered carrying a tray with a cafetiere and cups and saucers. She placed the crockery around the table and poured the coffee. We waited whilst she finished pouring. We didn’t touch the cups. Charles had better turn up soon, we were nearly out of bullshit.

  Oliver Dunbar and Charles Cummings were both directors of new business at Leberman’s. We thought that we may have had to create a phony website, or produce a few glossy brochures but so far our sole investment into Minsk Mining were some business cards that we got run out at a local print shop: clean CD, no metatags and cash payment.

  Oliver had a boyish face that looked ten years younger than he actually was. His bearing and demeanor shouted: public schooling then Oxbridge. Henry said that when he looked at his photo his gaydar spiked quite hard. But I imagine he was married to an equally blonde, rosy cheeked, posh girl with big shoulders and good jewelry.

  ‘I understand,’ said Oliver as Vanessa left, ‘do you know what kind of turnover you are expecting.’

  ‘Very difficult to say at the moment,’ said Henry, ‘but upwards of 100 million dollars a year, net.’

  ‘That’s a considerable amount,’ said Oliver, raising his eyebrows.

  ‘Obviously, after operating costs and interest payments…’ Henry opened his hands, ‘our profits are not projected to be as good as we would hope for at least four years.’

  ‘Do you know what your financial structuring will be? It might be more prudent to keep your EBITDA artificially low – at least initially – Charles is a real whizz at this sort of thing.’ I looked to Henry. I was lost, Henry insisted we read up on this stuff but I must have missed a chapter.

  ‘We were planning that – but initially it might be imposed by circumstance,’ said Henry. Maybe he knew what Oliver was talking about, we were in major bullshit territory and we needed Charles to get in here quick. Oliver gave a crooked smile. The door opened, at last, and Charles Cummings entered.

  He had a hawkish smile on, half-moon spectacles and a slightly too tight suit. He was bald as a coot and had a look about him that hinted he might like torturing small mammals for shits and giggles. He pumped each of our hands and uttered a nasal hello before lifting the flaps on his suit and sitting down.

  ‘Well, I really must apologize,’ he said and his eyes did that weird rapid blinking thing that slightly freaks me out, ‘a meeting over ran slightly, I just couldn’t shift it, I really am so sorry.’

  ‘That’s quite alright,’ I said and ran through the introductions again.

  ‘You are quite the youngest CEO I think I have seen outside of dotcom or high-tech,’ said Charles. I reddened a bit but It was weird that he said that because Steve really had done a number on me and I looked ten years older, ‘there’s not much history on Minsk Mining at a
ll…’

  ‘If I could cut in,’ said Henry. Charles nodded and started tapping his pen slightly. ‘We are a new company with highly sensitive, and highly valuable, assets that have been acquired quietly and at huge expense – ‘

  ‘- it’s just that,’ interrupted Charles, ‘I know this sector awfully well, and well…it just doesn’t add up.’ Charles looked a teensiest bit smug.

  I lifted my briefcase onto the table, which was difficult as I had a huge fake belly bulging over my belt. ‘Charles, I understand your skepticism, but what I am about to show you will change everything,’ I un-popped the clasps and opened the briefcase and reached in and took out the Sig. I pointed it at Charles.

  ‘I say, steady on,’ he said. Oliver peeped a bit and I shushed him.

  ‘Okay, here’s how this is going to play,’ I said, my voice remarkably steady. Sam, next to me, pulled on three pairs of surgical gloves, took out his pistol and pointed it at Oliver. Oliver looked wide eyed and very scared. ‘We are going to sit here quietly until I say so. If you scream out or try and raise the alarm I will shoot you in the face, is that clear?’ Oliver nodded rapidly.

  ‘What is it that you want?’ asked Charles. He was obviously a man who found out what he wanted to know when he wanted. I ignored him.

  ‘Secondly, I want your mobiles, Blackberry’s and any other devices put on the table and then I want to see your hands flat like this.’ They both did as I said.

  ‘Lastly, I assume you are the head boy around here?’ I looked at Charles, who looked back at me with pure hate, ‘I want you to make sure that we are not disturbed, phone your PA and tell her we are not to be disturbed: no tea, no coffee and no calls.’ He went to press the button on the conference call phone, ‘oh, and Charles? If I even think that you are using a keyword, or relaying a hidden message, I will shoot you in the face.’ He nodded and pressed the button. My heart was beating like a humming bird.

  ‘Susan? Could we not be disturbed at all while we’re in conference? Thanks.’ He looked back at me, ‘now what is it that you want?’ he spat.