by Jude Ouvrard
“I think so.”
“Any lingerie?”
I blushed and felt terribly bad. “None.” I chuckled, embarrassed.
“Babe, what am I going to do with you? You need new lingerie.”
No, no…Once he realized how much I had spent, he would change his mind, right? “Soon.”
“Hey, I want my girl in sexy lingerie. Tomorrow. We’ll finish early and go together.” He winked.
“Calvin…”
“No, Iris. I know what I want, and I know every girl likes fancy lingerie. It’s for both of us, trust me. I love spoiling you. I want to give you everything you ever wanted.”
“You do that every day.”
“I’ll just keep doing it, then.”
He kissed me, wrapped his sweaty arms around me. I loved kissing him after a workout. He smelled good, manly and it sparked something in me. His hair was twisted in a loose bun and God, was he hot. His sport shorts were hanging down at his waist, showing off his happy trail. I could clearly see he was commando.
It only had been a day. Hours without seeing each other and we went at it as if we had been apart for months. How do the soldiers deal with separation and loneliness when they are far away from their loved ones?
I would never be able to.
Never. I needed him too much.
After spending a day with Candice, locked in her office, while she briefed me on every single of our clients, I wanted wine and lots of it. To top it off, she stole Calvin from me during our lunch break, because she had to make sure he had gone through their contracts. So frustrating. The sound of her fake nails hitting the keyboard irritated the fuck out of me, along with the superior look she had given me every time I asked a question. She loved making me feel like a complete idiot, and unfortunately for me, she was good at it. I forced myself to take deep breath and repeated constantly in my mind “don’t let her get to me.” It worked for a while.
The worst of it all, I caught a peek at her cell phone lock screen, and it appeared to be a picture of Calvin and her standing next to each other. It looked impersonal to me. Probably a business thing. I thought about it, it definitely was a business thing. Calvin appeared serious and uptight, not the laid-back man I know. Guessing her tactic to make my life a nightmare, I could have bet my whole paycheck that she had done it on purpose.
I had been sitting in my office alone for three minutes when Calvin walked in, unbuttoning his jacket and loosening his tie. I wanted to do that for him, I craved his touch or touching him.
“Ready for some lingerie, babe?” he asked with enthusiasm.
I sighed. “Really?”
He crooked his eyebrow at me. “Most definitely.” He took few seconds to gauge my mood. “Rough day?”
“Something like that. Can we stop by the Lounge first?”
“Why?”
“I need debriefing, and by that, I mean, wine.”
He laughed and nodded. Slowly removing his jacket, tossing it on the chair facing my desk, he rolled the sleeve of his white shirt as he stepped closer. “Come here, babe.”
Those strong arms belonged around me, holding me tight, showing me how much he loved me. I tried really hard not to get sucked into Candice’s game but I had to admit, she had found a way to play with my insecurities.
“Your smell is divine, Iris.” His nose danced in the hollow of my neck pushing, away any memories of my rival. I enjoyed our moment. His hands danced on my back toward the small of my waist.
“You, Calvin, are the reason for my weakness.”
“Are you finally ready to christen your office, Sweetness?” Calvin would never give up on this, and I decided to pull away, just a bit.
“Not now.” I sigh. “You really know how to turn me on, though.”
“Iris, Jesus Christ, you can’t say to me that you’re turned on if you aren’t going to let me do something about it.” He pushed his groin into mine, giving me a hint of what he had in mind. It aroused me.
Calvin groaned against my lips before kissing me. “Let’s go now. A glass of wine and then, sexy lingerie.”
Of course, it wouldn’t be Calvin if he didn’t give me a small smack. “Ow!” I yelped
He left my office chuckling while I grabbed my purse and shut down my computer. He waited for me in the hall as he checked his phone. “Do you mind if Candice comes with us to the Lounge?”
My heart skipped a beat and heat reached my face. “I do mind. I want to spend time with you and you only.”
His eyes lift from his phone in surprise and stared at me. “Okay, was today that bad?” He placed his phone inside his pants pocket and offered me to take his hands.
I could have said yes, I could have shrugged, but I had no idea what to say. “I missed you and I’m not ready to share you yet.”
He kissed my forehead and we headed to the Lounge. He took hold of my purse and placed it on a small table that sat next to a comfy leather couch.
“Sit. I’ll get the wine,” he ordered.
I watched him leave and saw Julia on the other side of the counter. Her smile was radiant, and she waved at him. Did she or didn’t she ever try to seduce him? God, why was I now doubting every single of his employees. Julia and Calvin exchanged a bit of small talk and both smiled a whole lot.
Maybe I’d need two glasses of wine before lingerie shopping. I had to relax and stopped with the jealousy. This wasn’t me, I shouldn’t let it get to me.
“Red wine for you, babe.”
“Thank you. I have a question, but I doubt you will like my curiosity.”
He took a short moment before answering. “Okay. You can ask me anything you want.”
“Julia… did…”
“No, we didn’t.” He rubbed his face with his hand, clearly unhappy with my question.
“Candice.”
Signs of anger appeared on his face. “Why are you asking me?”
“I take it the answer is yes.” I drown half of my cup of wine. “When was the last time?”
“Before you. Iris, you don’t need to be thinking about it.”
“How am I not supposed to think about it, Calvin? That b… girl wants you, she still wants you.” I tried to keep my voice low. My goal wasn’t to cause a scene, but the emotions piled up in my throat.
“Look, Iris, I don’t want you to think about her that way. She’s just doing her job now and it’s all I ask. I don’t feel a damn thing for her. I only love you and you know that, don’t you?”
I nodded. I knew that, right? “I’m sorry, I’m feeling insecure with all the changes going on with my life.”
“By changes, you mean with work?” I hated that he could read my mind so easily. I meant work, he got it right. If only I had a better excuse than Candice for my attitude.
“Yes.” I drank the remainder of my glass.
He sat close to me, drinking his whiskey. “Babe, I thought I was clear with you when I said we were in this together. We’re a team. I’m here to help, and so is Candice.”
I wanted to shout at the sound of her name. It made me sick, but I kept it together for Calvin.
“Come on, let’s go shopping. The sooner we go, the sooner we’re back home.” I craved the feel of his skin on mine.
Sitting in the car, I wondered where he would take me. I didn’t ask because part of me wanted to be surprised. I had never bought lingerie with a boyfriend. I tended to wear basic underwear, nothing too sexy. Maybe Calvin wanted me in sexier undergarments. I had a few sexy bras that I wore on occasion, but my day to day preference heavily favored comfort over sexiness. Pleasing him had to be a priority now, because he did everything to please me. My man. I smiled and flushed just had the thought of wearing super sexy lingerie.
“Anything you want to share, babe?” He rubbed my knee and watched me carefully as we waited for the light to turn green.
I hid my face behind my hands. “No, Calvin.” He squeezed my knee enough to make me scream. It didn’t hurt, it tickled and I didn’t like it. Al
l valid reasons for him to keep doing it. “Okay, okay… I was thinking about pleasing you and I sort of imagined myself wearing sexy lace bras and stuff.”
He looked at me with a beautiful happy smile. “That’s my girl. You’ll have a lot of lace or whatever you want, as long as it’s sexy.” His hand on my knees started climbing to the inside of my thigh. “I love you, babe, and I think lace will suit you perfectly.” He grinned.
“So, it’s not really for me. It’s obviously for you.”
He laughed loudly. “It’s for both of us.” The light changed. He turned to the right as he entered an interior parking garage. “You’ll love it, babe.”
We got out of the car and walked out of the parking building. The warm air made my skin icky, so much humidity. I couldn’t wait to be inside again. Calvin’s arm held me by the shoulder, and I slid my hand into the belt of his pants.
“I love this, Cal. Us, together.”
He pulled me closer, squeezed me to his side, almost to the point where I tripped on my own feet. “I love it too, babe.”
Minutes later, we entered the store. Soft classical music played in the background, everything was perfectly placed and the sales person gave us a warm welcome and offered her help. Tara that was her name. The lavender perfume that lingered in the store tickled my nose. I started going through racks. I grabbed a few bras that I liked, and Calvin followed close behind to pick the matching thong. A man on the hunt, he knew what he wanted.
After finding five different models, I decided to try them on and see what fit and what didn’t fit. Trying on bras had the potential of ruining my mood in minutes. If nothing fit, my temper would probably lose the battle.
Calvin kept looking at different styles, and the sales person had quite a good time, knowing the great lengths Calvin was willing to go to find the perfect pieces. I concentrated on the music and removed my top.
I started with the one I preferred. Unfortunately for Calvin, it wasn’t lace. A see-through fabric in a pale shade of lilac, almost white, it felt soft against my skin and it gave my breasts a boost that enhanced my cleavage. I tried jumping around and making some movements to make sure they would stay in place and they did. The sight of my exposed chest, and the thought of the thong waiting in Calvin’s hand, had me blushing.
“Everything okay in there?” Had she witnessed my acrobatic manoeuvre to test her bra?
“Yes, everything is good so far.”
“Let me see, Iris.” Calvin ordered.
“Come in.” I invited him. The dress room was only separated by a thick pink curtain.
Acting like a caveman, Calvin pulled the entire curtain aside, leaving me exposed in my bra and skirt only. I blanched, but I didn’t have time to react or say anything, Tara stepped closer and made sure the bra strap wasn’t too tight.
“The fit seems to be fine with this one, turn around,” she ordered.
I thought I was going to pass out in embarrassment. Turning around, I caught sight of my face in the mirror. My eyes were round like two ping pong balls ready to pop out of my head. Never in my life had I received help to adjust a bra, and I couldn’t pretend like I enjoyed it.
“I like it, do you?” I asked looking at Calvin’s reflection in the mirror.
“I do.” He smiled and I could tell he was working extra hard not to laugh at me.
After the third bra, I got used to her checking the fitting. I was able to say something or give her my opinion. By the time I tried on the last one, I wanted to try on the first one again because I had over ten bras that fit, and each one of them was priced at over a hundred dollars. I clearly couldn’t afford them all, and that was only the bras. Calvin had picked up thongs and panties. To add to the bill, Tara returned with matching garters and lace nightgowns.
Did it made me feel good? Hell yeah. I loved how they were perfectly fit, but I disliked the fact that Calvin probably had planned to pay. Would I ever get used to this? This new wardrobe was just a piece of my new life. I was tired of fighting it. I was ready to fully embrace every new part of me. They gave me confidence and I felt sexy.
Excited about the lunch time approaching in less than an hour, I couldn’t wait to hit the gym with my man. Last night had been one hell of a night. He totally took possession of me, claimed me like never before. Shopping for lingerie had been more challenging for him. However, it always made me feel a little naughty to tease him that way.
My feet were hurting because of the new shoes, but that wasn’t going to stop me. I checked my mailbox, smiling to see all emails taken care of. My stomach was already demanding food, but the gym sounded more appealing. Calvin, clad in sweats, his hair in a sloppy bun, everything I loved about him.
“Babe, I can’t make it to the gym. Candice asked me to check a few things with her.”
That was it. I had enough. “No, you’re coming.”
Before I knew it, I was out of my office and walking into hers. She was done playing that game with me. So fucking done. Enough!
“Candice, you’ve got to stop doing this.” I didn’t knock, I didn’t give her a chance to allow me into her work place.
“I beg your pardon.”
“I know what you’re doing and this is going to stop now. Calvin and I are together, we are a couple. You better accept it.”
“Or what?” she asked with a hint of a smile.
“You’re using work to get to him and to push me away. I won’t let it happen. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Me neither. I’m sorry, Iris, but I have work to do. Will you excuse me?”
The nerve that tramp had. My body trembled with anger, my fists were ready to attack. I despised her. She enjoyed making my life here a real nightmare.
“I’m not done with you. I will find a way to get to you, I promise. Calvin will see your true colors.”
“Oh, Iris,” she said using an almost innocent voice. “How was the lingerie shopping? Did Calvin spend a small fortune on lace? I know…”
I cut her off, getting as close as possible to her, almost threatening her. “You are…” I stopped myself just in time. I couldn’t see clearly anymore. “You know exactly what you are.” I could still hear the anger in my voice. Her mind games were getting the best of me.
“Babe.” Calvin showed up at the door of Candice’s office, looking perplexed. My eyes found his, but I quickly looked away. I couldn’t explain myself, I had gone mad. I hurried to my office hoping he would follow me so I could try to explain myself, but he didn’t.
There was no way I could sit and work. I kept walking around my office, staring at the city blankly until I heard soft cries coming from the hall. Candice had ratcheted her games to a whole other level. I watched her walk past my office, crying, with Calvin joined at her hip. Suddenly, I had turned into the big bad wolf. My fingers were shaking, my heart pounding, and I had never been so scared of losing him.
Calvin was mine, only mine. Why wasn’t he checking in on me? My eyes teared up, but I forced myself to stay in control. I had to stay strong. I could no longer show her my weakness.
Minutes had passed when Calvin called me into his office. I had barely been able to calm down since my heated argument with Candice.
“Can you come to my office for a minute?” Calvin’s voice seemed distant. I had no clue what Candice had told him. I could only wish he had given her the day off. To my disappointment, he hadn’t. They both sat at Calvin’s desk eating grilled chicken salads.
“I’m here.” I tried making sure my voice sounded strong and self-assured.
He gazed at me without emotion. He was mad, definitely angry with me. It didn’t help my pounding pulse, which resonated throughout my body so much it started to make me dizzy. Working here would only kill my career. I shouldn’t have accepted the job.
“Can you get the documents we printed, please?” What? Was he kidding me? Or just rubbing it into my face that he was my boss and could ask me whatever he suited.
Just when I was about to go, Candice
gave me a quick smile. She won, she fucking won.
I got their documents. I felt like throwing them on Calvin’s desk, but didn’t. I turned and walked directly to the elevator and rode down to the gym.
I wanted to punch holes into that punching bag until I could no longer feel my damn hands. I would rather do that than end up ruining everything that was left between Calvin and me.
I had fucked up and I knew it.
From head to toe, my body was covered in sweat from the workout I had just completed. The exhaustion in my arms left me no choice but to stop for the day. My muscles burnt with pain and my knuckles had never hit a bag filled with sand as much as today. I did feel a bit better mentally, which was the whole point, but my body was completed drained.
I took a look around the gym to see if Calvin had made it, but no, not today. A small pinch went directly to my heart, but I tried not to let it affect me. I took a well-needed shower and tried to chill before making my way upstairs. I knew Calvin would ask for an explanation, and I had no idea what Candice had told him. Of course, I expected her to turn everything to her advantage.
Putting back on the lace Calvin had gotten me the previous night, I felt like I didn’t deserve them anymore. I didn’t want to be sexy. Hiding or being invisible seemed a lot more appealing.
When it came time to make my way back to office, I took many deep breaths in order to keep calm. Seeing Candice would only anger me again. I had to keep my distance this afternoon. The last thing I wanted was to make things more tense and uncomfortable than I already had.
Quietly, I opened the door to my office, not wanting my arrival to be noticed, but of course, I found Calvin sitting and waiting for me in my chair. We didn’t say anything, we simply looked at each other. I was at a complete loss for words and he didn’t give me any signs of hope that things were good between us.
“What happened, Iris?” he asked, emotionless and needing answers.
I could sense the tears coming, but I had to try my hardest to push them away. Crying wouldn’t solve anything. After months together, we were facing one of our first arguments, and it scared me.