by Jude Ouvrard
“Are you coming to bed?”
“Babe, did I wake you? I just got here.”
“You didn’t. You look tired, Cal. Come with me.”
He watched me with exhausted eyes as I walked toward him. I didn’t want to go to bed alone, I wanted his arms around me, holding me. He didn’t move until I reached him. His shirt undone and his tousled hair screamed sexy. I straddled him and wrapped my arms around him.
“Baby, you changed. You’re different since…”
“Since I saw you die. Yes, it changed my perspective. I keep dreaming about it. It’s haunting me. Leaving you alone is giving me panic attacks. I don’t want to suffocate you, but it’s so hard.”
“No, you’re not.” I pressed my lips against his. “You have to stop doing this to yourself. I’m not going to die, I’m here to stay. We’ll get married and have babies. We’re going to grow old, have grey hair, wrinkles, and the whole package.”
“You.” He closed his eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere. Maybe you should see a therapist. It might help.”
“I just need to lose myself in you, Sweetness.” His voice was only a whisper. I could feel the emotions behind the words. We had to get closer again. I missed him and our connection. Skin on skin.
“It has been a very long time.” I ran my fingers through his sleek hair. “Kiss me, take me, and possess me, Calvin. I really need this.” Too many emotions spread into me, my voice trembled and my whole body became nervous as if it were our first time.
We kissed, and rekindled our romance. His tongue pushed into my mouth and danced with mine. I could taste the whiskey he had been drinking. His hands curious as always, dug under my top to touch my skin. It didn’t take him long before my top was pulled over my head. He whispered inaudible things to me in between kisses.
“I love you, Iris. You’re so beautiful. In fact, beautiful doesn’t even cover it.”
He undid the buttons of his shirt and I pushed it off his shoulders.
“Calvin, what have you done?”
“I had to, babe. I had to mark you on me.”
He had a beautiful tattoo on his chest, over his heart. A black and grey rose with Iris in a beautiful lettering above it. It brought tears into my eyes. “Always with you,” I murmured.
“Everywhere I go,” he added, pulling my hand and pressing it against his tattoo and heart. It touched me and was so unexpected. I knew his tattoos were always meaningful. I still hadn’t pushed him regarding the meaning of his other tattoos, but I kind of knew they were about his parents, his past.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my lips crashed against his. I loved that man more than anything and seeing the ink on his skin made me go absolutely crazy. It turned me on and my love for him gleamed.
He got up from his chair with me in his arms, I circled my legs around his waist until he reached the small couch by the door of his office. He laid me on my back and he covered every part of my body with his. Slowly, his hands slid under my back and he undid my bra. He removed it, letting the straps tickle my arms until he let it fall to his feet. The warmth of his skin over mine reminded me of why I loved the feel of his skin over mine. My hands moved over his abs and chest until I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted more than touching, I had to feel him deep inside me. I pulled down his pants and shoved them off with my feet to free his legs. His erection pushed into my belly making the heat between my thighs unbearable.
“Now, Calvin. I don’t need warm up. I’m there already.”
I pushed down my pants. Calvin was lost in my breasts, kissing, sucking and squeezing them gently. He moaned against my nipple when I stroked his cock taking him by surprise.
“Calvin.”
“You’re not patient tonight, Sweetness.” I chuckled, blushing. He was right, I wasn’t.
Pushing back a little, he drove into me, giving me no chance to adjust after such a long time. I yelped and my core stretched to him as if we had never stopped. He took his time, being nice. He withdrew slowly and teased me as he only slipped the tip of his cock inside of me. I nibbled the skin of his neck and had a firm grip on his arms, expecting him to pound into me. He did, fuck, he did! I think my body moved back a couple of inches, sliding on the leather of the couch. Each time, he reached further, testing my limits. Each of his fingers pressed against my hip bone, failing to hold me in place.
“I’ll be nice, sweets, I’ll be nice. I just had to.”
“S’okay.” He was rough, needy, but I didn’t mind it. I loved it.
We had dealt with so much emotionally in the past week that this moment meant a lot. We were healing together. Calvin had to stop thinking I was going to die every five minutes, and I had to deal with the memories and the mixed emotions that played with my mind.
“Touch me, Calvin. I want to feel your arms, your hands around me.” I demanded, breathless.
He took a few seconds to think of a way to touch me. He sat back and pulled me to him; my legs around his waist, straddling him. Hands travelled on my body, up and down, and to my back, shoulders or breast.
“Yes. Feel me,” he murmured, his voice dancing against my skin, tickling me softly.
He held me in a warm embrace and made love to me. His loving attention, the soft kisses gently dancing on my skin while we found our rhythm. I kept looking at the tattoo; it captivated me, and also, it turned me on. How much he loved me never stopped surprising me. My lips pressed against it, I felt his beating heart against our skin.
“I love this, baby. Us.”
“Forever, Sweetness.”
He laid me on my back, hitching one of my legs around his waist. Sweat rolled down his back, and I could hear the exhaustion hitting him by the way he breathed. It became faster and deeper. Calvin cupped my face and started kissing me with fierceness, almost as if he was making love to my mouth. It aroused me and everything started to happen at that moment. My heated core tightened around him and he kept thrusting into me.
“Give it to me, Calvin,” I begged him.
He pushed harder while I held him close to me. I felt his trembling body working full force. He groaned loudly as I gripped his arms, reaching my awaited moment. A rush of adrenalin ran through me, my legs shaking and my heart pounding. Calvin came undone, unloading everything he had.
We were dead tired and unwilling to move. I didn’t want to because I liked us, tangled and resting. His smell invaded me, I let my eyes close and I relaxed against him. It felt so right to be with him. So perfect.
“Babe…”
“Hmm.”
“I’ll get us in bed, okay?”
“Hmm.” I had no more energy. My mind had gone to dreamland already. I dreamed of a white and pink wedding at the ranch. Everything about it screamed perfection. A dream. We hadn’t set anything yet. Not the date or the color theme. Nothing.
After tears of sadness, we had no choice but to be separated again. Calvin insisted on driving Rose to the airport after all she had done for me. We had been in touch with my parents every day. They stayed in Florida because they had a lot going on with a kid camp at the ranch. Rose reassured them everything was under control. She lied, not wanting to worry them. She and Calvin contacted them when it hit the news. They were sorry they couldn’t make it, but in the end, there wasn’t much they could have done. We promised we would visit soon, it was the best we could do.
I watched her and Calvin leave, and it did something to my heart. They were the most precious people in my life. What if I had died? I couldn’t think about this.
I watched the SUV drive away until I could no longer see them. A deep feeling of loneliness gripped me. I had gotten used to Rose here, and I would miss her tremendously. Having her here was a blessing. She loved Florida and her life down there, while I knew my place was here. I wished we could be closer, but nothing would stop us from seeing each other every once in a while.
I went to my bedroom and watched the park and its beautiful view. For some days, I had been
wondering what would happen to Candice and Tina. I still had many blanks when it came to the day she wanted me gone. With my laptop, I looked for newspaper articles and found a couple of them.
First degree attempted murder against Bank’s fiancée.
Attempted murder charge in Candice Hamilton case.
I kept reading the titles and a few paragraphs of each article. It made me sick. I ran to the bathroom and emptied my stomach in no time. What the hell happened to me? What were the chances that I survived? Close to none.
Splatters of vomit covered my dress, I took it off and placed it in the sink with cold water. With only my underwear on, I reached the walk-in closet and found Calvin’s hoodie. I sat on the floor and crossed my legs while my mind kept diverting to Candice’s awaiting trial, and the things she had done to me.
Tina was barely mentioned throughout this whole thing, but I found out she was accused too, of second degree attempted murder. Pictures of both of them in court joined the article. I never wanted to see them again.
This was fucked up. Completely crazy. My life had turned into a crime scene, and I didn’t deal with it well. I preferred my life as normal as possible. Cold, I ended up curling into a ball on the carpet of the walk in and I falling asleep, haunted by the reality of my life.
Someone tried to kill me for the love of Calvin.
Would our life always be like this? Exes coming to get him back, or people chasing us for a piece of our life. Why wasn’t he normal?
Because he’s Calvin freaking Banks!
My mind shut down, I couldn’t think any more about this. It hurt too much and it scared me even more. Letting myself fall asleep in a closet because I felt safer had nothing normal about it. My bed would probably have been more comfortable, but I couldn’t. Not here and alone.
“Iris?” I heard my name in the back of my mind. It sounded far. Vibrations came from the floor, doors opening and closing and my name was repeated again. “Iris… Babe.” I slowly became more alert to the proximity of the noise. “Babe, no… no… no… Iris... Please, wake up. Open your eyes.” His fingers pressing against my wrist, he was looking for a pulse. Wait! I’m not dead.
“Calvin, I’m… I’m okay,” I whispered with a tired voice.
He took me in his arms, held me with all his strength. “I’m sorry, so sorry. I thought that… I thought you were…” He cried into my neck. My strong man had lived through too many horrible things; his fear of watching me die had to stop. His body trembled against mine, it devastated me.
“I’m alive, I’m not dead. My heart’s beating strong,” I tried to convince him.
“God, I love you so much. I can’t ever lose you. I lost too much already, I can’t. Please, I can’t.”
“You won’t. Not before spending plenty of years together. I’ve told you that before. I’m here to stay. I’m okay now. The doctors said I was okay. You have to stop worrying and trust us. I’m alive and strong. “
“Why were you sleeping here?” He sniffled. “I searched the whole house before I found you here.”
I felt guilty for checking out newspaper articles when I could have asked him. “I did some research, Calvin. I wanted to know what happened and it made me sick and tired. I had to rest, and… I passed out in the wardrobe.”
“You should have waited for me. It’s my job to be there for you, babe. I want to protect you and care for you at all time.” Pain reflected into his eyes, making them looking darker.
I knew that already, but I had to do this on my own. My memory still hadn’t recovered from that night. Most of the events remained a huge blank and I thought it was better that way. These memories of the things she had said or done couldn’t haunt me. I was relieved, but I continued to wish every minute of my life that nothing had happened. It changed us, too much. Calvin treated me like porcelain, he had never done that before. We were walking through a rough patch, recovering from this nightmare. Unfortunately, I was afraid it had left some scars. In my heart and mind, I wanted to erase them. My life had always been meant to be spent with him. We crossed paths for a reason, and I wanted us to be official as soon as possible.
“I want us to get married, baby. I’m so scared that life will take us apart.” I paused, feeling my heart constricted. Any thoughts of losing him hurt me in my core. “It can be simple, I don’t need a big wedding. Just us and my family. It’s time I become Mrs. Banks.” I couldn’t hide the smile at the sound of it.
“You still want to get married.” It wasn’t a question, what did he mean?
“Of course, I never stopped wanting to. Maybe we could do something at the ranch.” I had thoughts of a few places, but none would mean as much to me as the ranch. Mentally, I had crossed all my fingers in hopes of getting his agreement.
He smiled a foolish smile. “I’ve already discussed that with your sister. She has quite a few ideas on that matter.”
“You spoke to my sister about it?” That had me flabbergasted. I would have never imagined Rose and Calvin talking about my wedding plans. It was awkward and touching at the same time.
“You slept a lot while she was here. It left us together with nothing to do. So, we kind of looked at the options. I’m not really into a big wedding, unless you want one. I only want my friends and the people who are important to you. She suggested the ranch and I knew you would be up for it.” He laughed. “The following day, she came up to me with plans, a bakery, and a chef. She had it all figured out.”
“Okay… Rose can be very persuasive sometimes. A wedding at the ranch would be great, if you want that as well. Or maybe we could go back to the beach, where you took me.”
“It’s too hot at that time of the year. The ranch will be better. Two weeks from now, you’ll be my wife.” He declared with a firm voice, telling me it wasn’t up to discussion. Well, maybe it was, but I didn’t think I would be able to push the date too far.
“TWO WEEKS?” I screamed loudly, startling him. “Are you insane? I don’t even have a dress.”
“Oh, Iris. You better learn that what Banks wants. Banks gets. Everything is possible, trust me.”
He left me speechless. I looked at him at a loss for words. What did he mean?
“If you want Danielle and Krys to help you find your gown, I’ll arrange a driver, or ask Justin. I’ll call Rose to let her know you’re ready.”
“I feel like I’m being trapped, Calvin.”
“Never feel trapped. You have total control of everything but the date. I want you to be my wife, as soon as possible.”
I smiled. Yes, I wanted that too. Iris Banks, I repeated in my mind. The time had come to finally start planning. We both were ready for this and our love would be forever bound.
Oh my God. Oh my God. I’m getting married.
After the closet drama of yesterday, Calvin spoiled me with homemade mac and cheese and a good movie. He didn’t leave my side all night. His arms were laced around me, holding me and loving me.
“If you had asked me when I moved to New York if I thought I would be getting married to you, I would have laughed so hard. It’s still unbelievable. You make my life perfect and unexpected.” I never expected to meet a man like him. After Damien, I had lost hope.
“I never thought I would find you either. I wasn’t looking or even thinking about it until I saw you at the restaurant. And then, that night, you were with Krys and Zach; I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw you. Zach acted like he owned you and Krys had me confused as hell. I thought you were all involved for a moment. Like a threesome or something like that.” He laughed, embarrassed, but I remembered that I was too at that time. They were all playing a game.
The alarm clock had awakened him a couple of minutes ago, but I had been staring at him for at least an hour. The wedding nerves kicked in and I couldn’t rest peacefully. I emailed Rose last night to let her know that Calvin and I were ready to wed. She had a long flight home, and probably many questions coming from our parents to answer. They had struggled a lot in th
e past weeks, and had probably gained a couple grey hairs. I convinced them not to come here. There were journalists downstairs the entire full week. My mood kept changing, and according to my sister, I was a pain in the ass. Sadly, I couldn’t say she wasn’t right. Rose and I thought they better stay home and care for the ranch, and I would visit as soon as I felt better. I never thought it would be to get married. This had to be insane, but I wanted it badly.
“I have to get to work now. I don’t want to, trust me, but I have a shitload of things to do.”
“I’m sorry. I know you won’t say it, but I know you need help. Let me help you, Calvin.”
The hesitation behind his quiet laughter told me he considered it, but he declined. “Rest, call Rose and start the wedding planning.” Calvin’s thoughts were only concentrated on my well-being. Maybe it was time he started thinking about himself and the dark circles under his eyes. Work had him by the balls, and I knew that, because he was restless and having nightmares most nights. It normally happened only under stress. He looked happy with me, but beneath that beautiful smile, I knew he was stressed. In a relationship, a girl has to know when to step up, and this clearly was a sign.
Calvin got out of bed and into the shower. I stayed in bed a couple of minutes and joined him in the bathroom. Too little too late, he stood facing the mirror, ready to shave his thin layer of a beard. His cologne drowned the room. God, I loved that smell. It didn’t belong to Dior or Givenchy, it represented Calvin. His smell that nobody could wear like him. I let him get ready for work as usual, while I pretended to prepare myself for another stay at home day.
“Go back to bed, babe. You look tired.” I shrugged, not wanting to lie, went back to our bedroom and put together his clothes for the day. His dark grey suit, white shirt and black tie. His socks always had to match the color of his suit, so I made sure I kept his old habit intact and found him a pair of black boxer briefs. I could watch him in boxer briefs all day, his tattoos and his ripped body showing. Who wouldn’t like that? Beneath this ink was the heart I couldn’t live without. Mine.