Loch: A Steel Paragons MC Novel

by Eve R. Hart

  “Bullshit,” I mumbled as I sat down on the edge of his bed. Something was off and I’d put my money on the boyfriend. There was something about him that sat like a heavy boulder in my gut.

  “Is she in trouble?” Bocca asked, raising a concerned brow. I knew the two of them were friendly, so I could sense the concern was genuine.

  “Yeah, I think so. But she won’t say a damn thing to me. When I first saw her she had bruises all over her face and neck. They were fadin’ so I’d say they were a few day’s old at the time. A week at most.” I sighed, thinking back. I knew the more information I could give him, the more it would help in his search. “She said she got jumped at a rest stop, but I could tell it was a lie.”

  “I’ll keep looking. Let you know if I find anything.” I nodded thanks to him before heading out of his room.

  I found Brandon half asleep on one of the couches in the lounge area. Most of the lights were off and the TV volume was down low. One foot was propped up on the coffee table and his ball hat down low over his eyes. I sat down beside him and he jerked alert.

  “Thanks for this weekend.” I didn’t have to thank him. It was the type of shit he had to put up with being a prospect. He wanted in, he had to do the crap work. He never complained though. I had no doubt that patching him in was going to be on the list at the next meeting, but I wouldn’t tell him that.

  “No prob, VP.” He pulled his hat off and ran his hand through his hair, attempting to fix it. Then he rubbed his eyes. I wondered if he’d gotten any sleep while I was gone.

  “You look like shit,” I said, giving him a little sympathy in my tone. He nodded once. “Need you to do something for me, when you’re done hit the fuckin’ sack, man. Won’t need you ‘til tomorrow.” He sat up straight, letting me know he was paying attention to me.

  “Yep.”

  “Need you to take Reagan’s car to Carl’s,” I said.

  Carl’s was in the next town over. It was a tiny car lot that we got most of our vehicles from. He had a small inventory, but if there was something specific we needed he would find it.

  “Get her somethin’… better. Not new. She is goin’ to be pissed enough as it is. Figure I should lessen the blow,” I said scratching the back of my neck. He nodded and sent me a knowing smirk. That girl had fire in her. I could respect that, even if it plain ticked me off most of the time.

  “I’m on it.” He jumped up like he was ready to take off.

  “Make sure it’s small, four doors. Not too old. Nice.” She hated my truck and I knew she would flat out hate and refuse something big. No trucks, no SUVs. “I’m gonna take her out and distract her. Otherwise, she’ll be in that house all day. Get the keys from Ethel, I’ll fill her in.” He nodded and I stood.

  “I’m gonna shower then head that way. Should give you enough time to convince her to go with you,” he said grinning. “Maybe…”

  “That woman…” I shook my head and did my best to hide my chuckle. I was a little amused with the thoughts of how hard she was going to fight me on it.

  I didn’t have much at home in the way of food, so I rode over to the small deli in the middle of town. I ordered two chicken salad sandwiches, fresh fruit bowls, and chips. Then I took off for Reagan.

  I knocked on the door and was a little relieved when Ethel answered. I needed a moment alone with her to tell her my plan. She smiled and patted me on the hand after I explained everything.

  “I’ve known you all these years, Nathan, and I never thought I’d see the day…” She left it unsaid, but I knew what she was getting at. I shook my head, trying to ignore the twinge in my gut that agreed with her.

  “She’s your granddaughter. I’m just lookin’ out for her, same as I do for you.” I tried to sound convincing, but she was too wise. I saw the little gleam in her eyes as she looked up at me and nodded. Reagan had gotten under my skin and Ethel could see it.

  “Her life hasn’t been easy, Nathan,” she said. A sadness appeared on her weathered face. “I know yours hasn’t been either. But you are both strong. Too strong. The two of you are downright damn stubborn. Try not to let it get to you… or the better of you.” With that, she called up the stairs to Reagan, then shuffled off to the kitchen.

  I stood waiting in the front doorway. Reagan rounded the corner and froze when she saw me. She had changed since this morning. She was wearing cutoff jeans and a loose tee. Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail and it wrapped around her shoulder. I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through the silky strands.

  “What are you doing here?” She sounded breathy, caught off guard by seeing me standing there.

  “Let’s go. We’re goin’ for a ride.” I looked down and saw her feet were bare. I cursed at myself for not thinking that far ahead.

  “Just let me go get my keys and phone.” She turned back to the stairs.

  “You don’t need it.” I looked down beside the door and let out a relieved breath. Her boots were sitting right inside the front entryway. I picked them up handed them to her.

  “Mr. Bossy, jeez.” She bent down and put them on. When she stood back up she cocked her hip and put her hand on it. I looked at her with a blank expression on my face, trying my best to hide my amusement. “You could say please, Reagan, I would love your company for a little while.”

  “Reagan,” I started in a stern tone. But it was all I could do to keep my lips from twitching into a smile. That girl had balls. “Get on the damn bike.” I barked. She jumped with a start and I swear there was smoke coming from her ears. “Please,” I said through gritted teeth.

  “That wasn’t so hard now was it?” She smiled, patted my shoulder, then bounced out the door and down the stairs. I looked over to see Ethel laughing and shaking her head at the whole thing.

  I fastened the helmet on her head then straddled my bike. She climbed on behind me with ease. I felt her take a deep inhale before wrapping her arms around my middle. Like the last time, she was trying to keep distance between us. And just like last time, I wrapped my hands around the upper thighs and yanked her flush with me. She made a noise in the back of her throat. I took off before she could say anything.

  I was surprised she didn’t ask where we were going. I half expected to get the third degree before she even walked out of the house. The fact that she didn’t, made me think that there was a part of her that wanted to be around me. Even if it was a small part, I’d take it. I couldn’t help but smile as I drove through the winding roads out of town. We weren’t going far. There was a spot I always went to when I needed time to reflect and be in my head. I had never shared that place with anyone. Not even any of the brothers.

  I pulled off onto a dirt road, leaving a huge cloud of dust behind us. She held on tighter as we bounced along. The road ran through a thick forest of trees. On the other side of the tree line was an old farm, long abandoned. I pulled off a bit when the trees started to thin. She hopped off and I followed. She gave me a questioning look as I reached into my saddlebag and pulled out the food and a blanket. I didn’t say a word and was shocked when she followed without asking a million questions.

  We zig-zagged through the trees then hopped the old wooden fence lining the property. In the overgrown field, there was one, lone, huge willow tree. We made our way over to it, stomping down the tall, dry grass. Spreading the blanket out near the trunk of the tree, I watched her. The subtle wind blew the loose strands of hair around her face. We studied each other intently. Both of us wanted to say something, but neither of us dared to break the moment. She plopped down on one corner and I sat a few feet away from her on the other. I pulled out a sandwich and handed it to her. She stared down at it with a sick expression on her face.

  “You need to eat, Rea.” My voice was calm but demanding. She huffed before picking it up and taking a bite.

  “Happy?” She scowled at me. I laughed. I found when I let my guard down a little, it was easy to laugh around her.

  We ate in silence. She surprised me by e
ating everything I’d gotten her and even half of my fruit. Which I was happy to give up. A calm washed over her as she popped blueberries in her mouth one at a time. I wondered if it was the fruit or someplace she was at in her mind. After she finished, she scooted a little closer to me and leaned back on her hands. Her leg brushed up against my knee as she crossed her ankles. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees.

  “Why here?” she asked after a moment of staring up through the swaying branches. I took in a deep breath, preparing myself to talk about things I hadn’t in a long time. Past memories of happier times.

  “My dad used to come out here and help Mr. Martin around the farm. Mostly durin’ the summer, when it was too hot for the old man to get out much. He refused to hire help. Said that his parents did it until he was old enough to take it over for them. He never married and never had children, so eventually the place just…” I scanned the area with my hand out.

  “When I was old enough,” I continued, “I would come out here with my dad and help. Long summer days spent in these fields. Mom would always come up mid-day and make us take a break. She would bring us sandwiches and we would all sit under this tree and eat.” I smiled at the memory.

  “You were close with your parents?” Her tone was soft. A side I wanted to see more of. I nodded to answer her question.

  “When I was seventeen they were killed in a car accident.” My tone flat, as if I was simply stating a fact. Her face changed and I saw sadness for me in her eyes. “It was a long time ago,” I said in an attempt to brush it off. The truth was that when I thought about that day it still stung. I stilled ached for the younger me that had to go through it.

  My dad would take my mom to the city once a month. It was their date night. He always tried to make it different. They’d go see movies, eat at new restaurants, or go see a play. Every year he made sure to take her to see The Nutcracker. She looked forward to that night the most.

  I remembered he said he was taking her to some fancy restaurant. Mom had been dropping hints all week about wanting a good steak, and he knew the exact place he was going to take her. They’d gone there many times over the years. Pretty sure by then they’d each sampled everything on the menu twice over. But she loved it. I knew what she was going to order even before they were on their way. Steak done medium, sour cream and dill mashed potatoes, and sautéed fresh spinach. It was her favorite and she spoke of it often. Dad would order some moderately priced red wine and let her drink most of it, knowing that he would be driving.

  It was the last half of my senior year. I was at the top of my class. All around American boy. I didn’t play sports but I went to most of the games; had school and town pride. I was going off to college in the fall. Although, I wasn’t sure what for at the time. My parents had high hopes for me. They wanted me to spread my wings and get out of the small town.

  I was stressed out working on my senior project. I still hadn’t nailed down an idea. Thinking back, I couldn’t even recall what it was about. I rushed into the house as my parents were getting ready to leave. I gave each of them a quick hug and kiss before dashing off to my room. If I had known it would have been the last time I saw them, I wouldn’t have brushed off my goodbye so hastily. I wouldn’t have taken those everyday hugs and cheek kisses from my mom for granted. But that’s the thing about life, you never know how it’s going to go.

  “Still doesn’t mean it hurts any less.” Her voice was a whisper that floated to me in the breeze and pulled me out of my thoughts.

  “Come here,” I demanded, softly. She didn’t move. I didn’t really expect her to. I leaned forward and pulled her into me. I laid back and tucked her into my side. After a moment I felt her relax against me, her head lying over my heart. “Now, sleep.”

  She let out a deep sigh. My thumb rubbed absentminded circles on her hip. To my surprise, she nodded off not long after. I lay there for a long time looking up through the branches. There was a peace in watching the way they swayed back and forth in the light breeze.

  I must have dozed off myself. A vibrating in my pants pocket jolted me awake. I shifted my head to look at Reagan. She was still sound asleep on me. I smiled and carefully dug my phone out of my pocket. I glanced at the clock before I read the text message. We had been out here for nearly three hours, two of that probably sleeping. I was glad. She needed it.

  Brandon: It’s done.

  Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I decided to feel her against me for a few more moments. I knew I wouldn’t have another moment like this. I was no good for her. She was too young to be tied down by an old man like me. Finally giving in that we needed to get going, I gave her a genital shake.

  “Rea,” I said in a low tone. “Reagan, time to get up, babe.”

  She stirred beside me, pulling herself from her groggy state. A low, sad moan escaped her before she let out a long sigh. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Maybe it was the sleep, or the sun and fresh air, but she looked a little better. And as much as I wanted to do more, I knew I had to keep her at arm’s length.

  “Well, that was nice. Thanks,” she said then gave me a coy smile.

  “Yep.” I stood up and reached for her hand. She took it then helped me pack up everything. I led her through the woods and back to my bike. Her hand in mine as we weaved in and out of the trees.

  The ride home was calming and silent. But to me, there was an edge to it, like the calm before the storm. She relaxed into me, arms low around my waist, body moving in sync with mine. And for just a few moments, I let myself enjoy the feeling of her against me.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Reagan

  The afternoon had been weird and oddly nice. I didn’t know what to expect when Nate came in and demanded me on the back of his bike. I certainly didn’t expect to end up under a tree in a vacant field. And I definitely didn’t expect there to be a blanket and food. It almost felt like a date. My stomach clenched with nervousness at the thought. Even though deep down I knew better. There was no way Nate was taking me on a romantic date out of the blue. I would have said that it had something more to do with pity. Still, it was nice.

  It made my heart flutter that he opened up to me and shared a special place with me. Even if he did shut down when we were leaving, I took pride in small victories. It was a little shocking how similar our stories were. We both were pretty much on our own at a young age. True, his parents died while my mom was most likely still alive somewhere out there. But I could tell it was something that changed both of us; made us into who we were.

  Nate the boy sounded very different from Nate the man. My mind drifted, wondering what a seventeen-year-old Nate was like. I had a feeling that if his parents hadn’t left him at such a young age his life would have been very different. I imagined he wouldn’t be suck in this small town. He wouldn’t be part of a biker gang. And he wouldn’t be doing shady things. Not that I had proof of that last one, but I had an idea that the Steel Paragons were not completely on the up and up. I imagined that being left in the world with no guidance he sought out somewhere he could belong. Maybe he saw it as the best option. Or maybe it was something as simple as him wanting something to call a family again.

  I was shocked how easily I fell asleep and how quickly I was dead to the world. I don’t know how long he let me lay there, but I felt much better once I got up. I was thankful and felt like it was some sort of breakthrough. Like he actually wanted to spend some time with me.

  We pulled into his driveway and he helped me off. I looked at him and smiled. A real, genuine smile.

  But then I saw it. Or rather didn’t. As I looked across Nan’s yard and into the driveway I noticed my car was gone. Not there. Just up and disappeared, gone. In its place was pretty much the same car, only not as ancient. And when I say not as old, I mean like in this decade. I would have put it at three years at most.

  At first, I was sad and let down. Disappointed that what we’d shared wasn’t real. I quickly stomped that down and embarrassment took ove
r. I thought he actually wanted to spend time with me. I thought maybe some part of him cared about me. How had I gotten it so wrong? How did I let myself get carried away?

  Then came the anger. Fire, hot lava, melt your face off anger. Angry that he tricked me. Pissed as hell that he went behind my back and got me a new car. Fucking seething through to the bone that he had used his charm to fool me. And I had let him. Without a second thought.

  “Rea,” he said, his tone almost worried.

  “Don’t!” I screamed, holding my finger up as if daring him to say another word. I ripped the helmet off my head and shoved it, hard, at him. Before even making sure that he had a hold on it, I stormed off across the yard.

  I got halfway to Nan’s front door when I spun around. My face was hot and I felt like I was going to explode. He was still sitting on his bike. His shoulders slumped forward. His arm rested on the helmet in between his legs. He looked almost defeated like I’d never seen him before. But that didn’t stop me.

  “Who the fuck do you think you are?!” I yelled, my voice cracking halfway through. My body was vibrating with anger and frustration.

  He jumped off his bike, and within a few lightning fast strides, he was standing in front of me. He was close enough that his addictive scent filled my nose. It was all I could smell. All I could focus on. He towed over me, a breath away from my face. I refused to look up, choosing to keep my eyes locked on a blank spot in the middle of his t-shirt. I knew if I looked into his eyes I would break.

  “Give it to me, Rea,” he said, his tone was so calm it pissed me off more. I threw my hands up at his chest and pushed. Nothing, not even a little budge. I pushed harder. “Get pissed at me. Hate me. Yell at me. Get it all out. ‘Cause at the end of all this, you will be driving that car.”

  “I. Don’t. Need. Your. Help.” I said through gritted teeth. “I don’t want it. I never wanted it. I never asked for it. I can take care of myself. Who the hell just buys someone a car? Who thinks that is normal?”