“You’re sure this isn’t moving too fast for you?” he asked, double-checking before he opened the foil packet she’d handed him.
She arched her back, circling her hips against him in a way that made his breath hiss. “I want to feel you moving fast. And deep. And—”
He covered her mouth with a hungry kiss, then he was inside her, wringing more desire from her than she would have imagined possible. And she had one hell of an imagination.
His face was starkly beautiful in the moonlight as he held himself above her. “You feel amazing.”
She clenched around him as he found the perfect angle, and words were lost in gasps and ecstatic cries. When the first tremors of her climax began, he lowered his head to her breast, sucking until her body bowed in a devastating orgasm.
There was definitely nothing “casual” about sex with Grayson. He’d just ruined her for all other men, and she was too breathlessly happy to care.
* * *
HADLEY CAME AWAKE INSTANTLY, not because the soft rustling in the dark was much of a disturbance, but because she was so used to sleeping alone. The sound of anyone else’s movements was foreign. “Grayson?”
He smiled at her from where he stood at the foot of the bed. “I was just getting dressed and debating whether to wake you or leave a note. I hate to leave, but, unfortunately, the boys are early risers. The last thing we want is them telling their kindergarten class about my sleepover with Miss Hadley.”
She smiled drowsily. “Call me later?”
He came around the side of the bed to kiss her goodbye. “Of course. But since you’re awake now, you should be the first to know. After all, you’re the one who inspired me.”
Sleepiness gave way to curiosity. “To do what?”
“I’ve made a decision. You were telling those stories about your family, your parents, last night and I... I’m going to use that phone number Vi gave me.”
She sat up straight. “You’re going to call your mom?”
“I am. I don’t honestly know if I can ever forgive her. But I owe it to myself to try.”
* * *
AS HE ENTERED San Antonio’s city limits, Grayson fumbled through the armrest console for antacids. Nausea and doubt had been his road-trip companions for the past three hours. Had he made a mistake by turning down Vi’s offer to come with him?
No, someone had to stay with the boys. Hadley had to work on weekday afternoons and asking her to do something as personal as keeping his godsons overnight and getting them ready for school tomorrow felt like taking their relationship to another level. He wasn’t ready for that. He was still processing how incredible sex with her had been. How intimate.
A sports car zipped into the lane in front of him without using a blinker, and Grayson made himself focus on the road. He could wallow in self-doubt once he’d reached the hotel. The plan was for him to text Rachel after he’d checked in, and then they could meet for dinner. He would drive back tomorrow, but what time he left would depend on how tonight went. Would she want to introduce him to her husband? Would they have breakfast together before he returned to Cupid’s Bow?
Of course, both of those possibilities assumed that she even showed up tonight. The virtual stranger who’d given birth to him didn’t have a track record of being dependable.
It was difficult to tell from their short, stilted phone conversation if she was looking forward to seeing him. He’d called from the house. Seeing the number, she’d answered expecting her sister.
“Violet? Is everything okay?” she’d asked.
“Actually, this is Grayson,” he’d responded. “And we’re fine. Vi decided it was time to tell me where to find you. And I decided it was time you and I talked. Preferably, in person.”
“All right.”
Only the two words, uttered without inflection. She hadn’t volunteered to come to Cupid’s Bow, which was just as well. He couldn’t begin to know how to explain her to the twins. So, he’d said he would drive to San Antonio and asked her what the best night to meet was.
Now, here he was, checking in to a motel just off the freeway on a Tuesday afternoon. He didn’t even know if she was still married to the same guy or if she’d eventually had other children. What if she didn’t show up to dinner alone? Guess I’ll know soon enough.
He texted her that he’d arrived safe and sound, and she directed him to a Tex-Mex restaurant on the famed San Antonio River Walk. The tourist destination struck him as a little surreal. He hadn’t driven all this way to take in the sights; he’d come to... What? Find closure? Make a fresh start? Look her in the eye and ask once and for all, “why the hell did you do it?”
When he arrived at the cantina, the hostess told him his party had already arrived and showed him to a booth in the back. Grayson’s first sight of the well-dressed strawberry blonde made blood pound in his ears. She didn’t look as different as he’d expected. She was aging gracefully. Of course, she’d only been twenty when she’d had him.
She stood when he reached the table, but didn’t make a move toward him. A hug seemed awkward to the point of physical pain, and a handshake would just be weird. What was the protocol here? A fist bump?
“Grayson. You look good,” she said shakily. “You look like Bryant. He was a handsome devil, too.”
Not toward the end, he wasn’t. He’d been constantly disheveled with bloodshot eyes, a bloated face and a red nose. “Thank you.” He sat on the bench opposite her, and the waitress asked if she could start them off with cocktails.
“Vodka martini, extra olives,” Rachel ordered.
“Just ice water for me.” Although, if there was ever a time he’d been tempted to imbibe, it was now.
When they were left alone, she reached up as if to tuck her hair behind her ear, apparently forgetting she’d smoothed it all into a twist. Nervous habit?
“Times like this, I wish I still smoked,” she admitted.
“I don’t remember you smoking.”
“That came later.”
He knew so little about her. “Do you have kids?” he blurted. When she blinked at the abrupt question, he apologized. “Sorry. It occurred to me on the drive today that I might have brothers or sisters I’ve never met.”
“No,” she said softly. “No children besides you. Probably a good thing, huh? Not exactly Mother of the Year over here.”
That would depend on the year. For the first six years of his life, he’d felt loved and safe, which made everything that came after an even bigger betrayal.
“What about you?” she asked. “Wife? Kids?”
“I’m not married, but I have custody of two boys. They aren’t mine biologically, but I was close to their parents. They’ve passed away,” he explained, his voice so low it was barely audible.
Their drinks arrived, and Rachel grabbed hers like a lifeline, wrapping perfectly manicured fingers around the stem before gulping down chilled vodka. The waitress’s eyes widened fractionally, but she didn’t comment except to ask if they were ready to order.
“Shrimp soft tacos,” Rachel said.
“And a combo number six for me.” Grayson handed over his menu wistfully. Studying the choices had given him something to do besides make eye contact with the woman across from him.
Silence descended across the booth like a thick fog.
After two more slugs of her martini, she offered, “I was sorry to hear about your father. I had no idea he’d died until I ran in to an old acquaintance.”
“And that’s when you visited Violet?”
She averted her gaze. “Shortly after that, yes.”
“Why did you go see Vi?”
“Many reasons. To check on you, to mourn the loss of my own dad, to ask her about you living with me and Cooper. My husband. We’re coming up on our fifteenth anniversary.”
“But Vi said no, so you just
took off again? It was Cupid’s Bow. If you’d wanted to see me, it would have been easy.”
“My sister knows you better than I do. When she told me what she thought was best, I respected her wishes.” She said it so matter-of-factly, as if walking away from him a second time had been simple. Hell, maybe it had been. She’d managed it easily enough the first time.
She’s not even sorry. Could he forgive someone who didn’t show an ounce of remorse over hurting the people closest to her?
“This was a mistake,” he said stiffly. He pulled some tens from his wallet and tossed them on the table to cover his meal. “I’m sorry I wasted your time.” Maybe she could get his dinner to-go and take it home to Cooper.
In one fluid motion, he was out of his seat and headed for the door. Behind him, he heard her tell the waitress to cancel their food.
“Grayson, wait!”
He stopped, but not until he’d stepped outside, where the cool evening air was a blessed relief. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You called me.”
A mistake, clearly. He didn’t bother stating the obvious.
“It’s a nice night,” she said. “Why don’t we walk for a few minutes?”
They did, in silence. Music and chatter spilled out of the restaurants they passed, and he could hear the tour guide on a passing boat tell tourists about the area.
Finally, Rachel asked, “Would you feel better if you just yelled at me? Got it out of your system?”
Somehow, he doubted it would be that easy. “I’ve only been raising my godsons for a month, and I can’t imagine ever walking out on them. But you left me without looking back, like it was nothing. How do you live with yourself?”
“You can judge me, but you don’t know what it was like. I was nineteen when I met Bryant. I was still trying to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up, when suddenly I was pregnant and had to get married. It happened so fast, I didn’t get the chance to think about whether it was what I wanted. I moved straight from my father’s house to my husband’s. Then one day a girlfriend I hadn’t seen in a while called, wanting a bunch of us to go to Vegas for her thirtieth birthday. And I realized thirty was only a few years away. I was almost thirty, and I’d never been anywhere or done anything. All I had to show for my life was a husband I’d felt pressured to marry and a kid I—”
“Didn’t want?” he asked roughly.
“Didn’t intentionally conceive.” It was an awkward save...too little, too late. “In my own way, I did love you, Grayson. But I resented you, too. I’d hoped that, once I was gone, your dad would remarry. Maybe someone closer to his own age, maybe someone who’d always wanted to be a mother.”
“The closest thing Dad had to a relationship after you left was his affair with booze.”
She flinched. “I had no idea that would happen. Grayson, I know how melodramatic this must sound, but at the time I felt like I was suffocating. Not metaphorically. I literally woke up one morning feeling like I might die if I didn’t escape.”
That was how he’d felt by the time he graduated. Yet it hadn’t been enough to make him sever all family ties.
He stopped, leaning against a pillar beneath a pedestrian bridge. “Thank you.” Her explanation hadn’t made him feel any better, but at least he finally had one. “When I was a kid, I tortured myself with endless wondering. Had you been kidnapped? Had you joined the CIA? Had you been wooed away from dad by another man you loved more than you loved us? At least now I know.”
She sighed. “I know how selfish it is, how much I suck. Why do you think I kept my distance? Violet is awesome. Even when we were kids, she was the responsible one. My little sister used to have to remind me to brush my teeth. So I knew she’d make sure you brushed yours.”
It was difficult to argue with that; Violet was awesome.
She gave him a once-over that almost qualified as motherly. “You look well, strong and healthy. Are you happy?”
He thought about the events of the past month, the unexpected comfort of coming home and the bittersweet joy of hugging the boys each night, knowing their parents wouldn’t get to see them grow up. And Hadley. She was rapidly taking up a space in his heart that alternately thrilled and terrified him. “I don’t know.”
She nodded. “If you ever find yourself in San Antonio again, feel free to call.” The offer seemed more obligatory than encouraging.
“Okay,” he said, knowing he wouldn’t.
She looked for a second as if she might hug him goodbye, and he stiffened involuntarily. She pressed a cool hand against his cheek, smiled sadly and walked away.
He watched her go through blurred vision. Thoughts rioting, he returned to his hotel room. It was still and lonely. He had his cell phone in hand and considered calling Hadley. God he wanted to hear her voice. But she’d want to know how tonight had gone. Even if she was too tactful to ask, the weight of her unspoken curiosity would crush him. Talking about tonight’s aborted encounter would be like picking at a fresh wound when all he wanted was to let it scab over and heal. So instead he turned on the TV, crawled into bed and missed her like crazy.
* * *
AS HE PARKED down the street from the feed-supply store, Grayson blinked, almost surprised by his destination. When on his drive back to Cupid’s Bow had he made the decision to come here?
He didn’t know, but this felt right.
Inside the store, Ned was ringing up a riding blanket and rope lead for a customer. Grayson waited patiently until the woman left. Ned came around the corner to greet him.
“You’re back! Might I hope this indicates a change of heart?” the older man asked gently.
Grayson swallowed. “Is that job offer still open?”
The Cox family, his family, had built this store once upon a time. Now Ned was giving him a chance to be part of its legacy. Grayson needed a legacy beyond a father who drank and a selfish mother who just didn’t give a damn. And who knew? Maybe one day, the place would be his and the boys could be part of its future, whether they wanted summer jobs during high school or to eventually invest in it themselves.
Ned smiled slyly. “I took the liberty of crunching numbers. Just in case.” He gestured toward the small office behind the cash register. “Come, we’ll have bad coffee and talk shop.”
Grayson laughed. “Best offer I’ve had all week.”
* * *
VIOLET MET GRAYSON at the door. No doubt the dogs’ ruckus had alerted her that he was here. She enveloped him in a hug that smelled like cinnamon and vanilla.
He inhaled deeply. “You made me cookies.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how terrible was it?”
“Eleventy billion.”
She squeezed him hard. “I made a lot of cookies.”
He choked out a laugh, pulling back to look her in the eye. “I know you’re too damn young to be a parent to someone my age, much less a grandparent to the boys, but you’re the only mom I had in any way that matters and I love you.”
Vi burst into tears.
“Oh, hell. Please don’t cry.”
She wailed something he couldn’t make out, but he thought the words happy tears were in there somewhere. How long did they have until the boys’ school bus dropped them off at the top of the driveway? Hopefully, he would have his aunt calmed down by then.
They went into the kitchen, her sniffling the entire way, the dogs circling in concern. He almost tripped over Shep twice.
There was a tissue box on the far side of the room, but Vi just grabbed a sheet off the paper-towel roll and blew her nose loudly. “Crap, I’m a mess.”
“I’m beginning to think we all are.”
“I didn’t mean to dissolve into tears. My emotions are running high because I didn’t get any sleep. I was so worried about you, kicking myself for letting you go alone, and eventually I texted Jim for
moral support. We were on the phone all night.” A hint of a smile ghosted her lips.
He grinned. “So that’s going well, I take it.”
“I’m seeing him again this weekend. Actually, he mentioned a carnival in Turtle. We could take the boys, give you space to mull everything over.”
He’d had his fill of mulling in the truck and in the hotel room, but he could use the child-free time to socialize with his friends. Maybe Jarrett and Sierra would like to go out with him and Hadley. Not only did Grayson truly like the rancher and his feisty fiancée, but their presence would also be a helpful buffer, dissuading Hadley from asking about personal topics he wasn’t ready to poke at. He should call her, let her know he was back safely.
He left a voice mail for her, mentioning his idea for a double date, then showered off his road-trip grime before the boys got home. They were a little clingier than usual after his absence, but their hugs and silly knock-knock jokes were a balm. During dinner, Sam called him Dad several times, as if the word was a newly discovered talisman that could keep away bad things.
I’ll do what I can, buddy.
While he was reading them their bedtime story, his cell phone buzzed. The screen flashed with a photo he’d taken of Hadley during the reunion. He hit Decline; she’d understand if he called her back tomorrow.
Sam smiled at her picture. “If you’re our new daddy, does that mean Hadley’s our new mommy?”
“But I thought Vi is our new mommy,” Tyler said.
Grayson’s temples throbbed. Mothers were the last thing he wanted to discuss right now. “Vi is your aunt. That’s another kind of relative, like a mom. She’s family, and she loves you.” This might’ve been an easier concept for them to grasp if Blaine and Miranda hadn’t been only children.
“What about Miss Hadley?” Sam persisted.
Crap. Why hadn’t he done more to keep a healthy distance between her and the boys? You knew this was a risk. Grayson’s relationship with her was still new—they’d only slept together once!—and already the twins thought the four of them were a family. Was he setting them up to be hurt the way he’d been when his mother left? Not that Hadley would ever behave so heartlessly, but she had her own path to follow.
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