Natasha's Dream

by Heather Greenis

  “I have no desire to live without you,” he vowed. “We shall be married, with or without your parents’ approval.”

  “Perhaps it’s time I speak with Mother myself—” she stopped and placed her hand on her stomach. “That wretched smell. It’s intolerable.”

  Stewart closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. The aroma seeped in from the next apartment.

  “I find the smell rather pleasing,” he admitted. “I would welcome an invitation to dine with our neighbour.”

  Natasha ran to the dresser, reached for the basin, and dashed out of the room.

  Unaccustomed to seeing her ill, her stomach became upset while they prepared their breakfast as well.

  “Do you have the flu?” he inquired while she retched in the next room.

  “Nay, it is not that—”

  He cringed as she retched for a second time.

  “I will send a letter to Nanny,” she informed him. “I wish to speak with Mother at a location that is some distance from the castle.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Nanny arranged a meeting at a small, intimate restaurant. Unsurprisingly, Natasha had a restless night. Within minutes of rising, she reached for the basin beneath their bed and ran into the next room. She was kneeling on the floor by the sofa with her hand on her stomach when Stewart handed her a wet cloth.

  “I don’t recall a time seeing you as ill.”

  She took the cloth, wiping her face and then her mouth.

  “I am dreading the visit with Mother,” she informed him, justifying her queasy stomach.

  “You’re shivering.” He left her and returned with a shawl, placing it around her shoulders.

  “Were you up through the night? I didn’t hear you.”

  “I was restless, but my stomach wasn’t upset. I became nauseous when I crawled out of bed. I will be fine once I see Mother. I beg of you, go,” she pleaded as she waved him away with her fingers.

  With her hands supporting the basin, she leaned over it once more.

  * * *

  Attired in a plain yellow dress, Natasha sat on the sofa nursing a cup of tea as they waited for Nanny to arrive. With a kiss on her forehead, and words of comfort and support from Stewart, Natasha fastened the ribbon of her large bonnet under her chin and followed Nanny to the carriage.

  Once they arrived at their destination Natasha removed her bonnet, stepped onto the ground, and led the way into the small room with Nanny two paces behind. Entering the room, an atrocious aroma turned her stomach. Natasha could only pray she would not lose the small amount of food she had managed to consume that morning while in her mother’s presence.

  Sitting proudly in a shimmering beige dress complemented by a pearl necklace, her mother sipped her tea, appearing quite pleased. The greeting was strained, like strangers meeting. Natasha sat on the chair on the other side of the table, allowing Nanny to sit between them. Cups of tea were placed in front of her and Nanny. The server discretely disappeared.

  Appreciating the Donovan bold and blunt approach, she looked into her mother’s eyes. Natasha chose her words very carefully.

  “I have fallen in love,” she said very softly. “I’m certain you and Father will approve once you meet him. He’s intelligent and comes from a well-established family.”

  “Where does his family rule?”

  Natasha scowled. Nanny had spoken with her mother regarding the relationship. Nothing had changed. Stewart did not have royal heritage. With her entire being she wished she was able to respond with a title prince or duke. Her deception would be detected in a moment though. Her mother would return to the castle, inform her father of the news, and the truth would be revealed before the sun set.

  “They do not rule,” she said boldly. “He was raised by a middle—”

  “You are infatuated, but will tire of him,” her mother declared, disappointment strong in her eyes and tone.

  “I’m not infatuated, Mother,” she argued, tired of the term. “I love him.” Careful not to use Stewart’s name or any reference to his family, she continued, “He wishes to meet with Father to ask for my hand in marriage.” Her stomach churned. She clamped her lips shut. The smell within the building was dreadful, getting worse. Thankful for the table concealing the lower portion of her torso, she placed her hands on her stomach, willing it to calm. “I beg of you, speak to Father.”

  “Your father should have insisted upon your immediate return to the castle,” her mother responded. “You are wasting your time, and mine, with such foolishness. Once you return, you shall forget the young man.”

  “Mother, please,” she begged. “Speak with Father. We wish to have his blessing.”

  “Do not play the fool, Natasha. It does not become you.”

  Furious, Natasha glared at her mother. Although she appeared to be listening, it was apparent she was not. “I’m not the fool, Mother,” she responded angrily. “I ask for one thing, and one thing only—freedom to be with the man I love.”

  Without touching her tea, Natasha pushed herself away from the table. She stood and stalked toward the door.

  “Natasha.” Her mother’s voice demanded obedience.

  She ignored the summons and continued walking.

  “Anna….” Nanny intervened.

  The door closed behind Natasha. She rushed back to the carriage and asked the driver to take her home.

  Bolting in the door, she dashed to the basin in the bedroom. After losing the contents in her stomach, she saw Stewart standing by the door.

  “It was a long morning,” she informed him. “I left Nanny with Mother and travelled back alone.”

  “I’m to assume the meeting did not go well.”

  Natasha shook her head.

  “It did not. With your family, it is clear your parents are in love. I question whether Mother and Father are even friends. They are not concerned if their children find happiness. My humble apologies, Stewart. This living arrangement will not change anytime soon.”

  “I have had time to think while you were away. A long walk and fresh air was needed to see my way clear of this quandary. Our financial situation is temporary. I shall deal with that, but I will not continue to deceive my parents. We shall visit, speak with them, and tell them the truth.”

  Stewart’s determination was evident in his tone. It was not a conversation she wished to have.

  “We shall speak with Nanny,” she agreed, trying to avoid more discussion.

  “We are not requesting permission, Natasha. We are going to tell the truth.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “My parents will be informed of your name and the fact you deceived me.”

  Natasha turned her head away from Stewart. They will hate me for lying to them and their son. How could they ever respect or trust me again after this? He went to her side, knelt down, and placed his hand on her back.

  “You must trust them, Natasha. Both Momma and Poppa have a kind, compassionate heart. They will forgive both of us.”

  “Perhaps after speaking with your family, my stomach will settle.”

  Waving her fingers, she attempted to get Stewart to leave the room. He didn’t have time to stand before she leaned over the basin.

  “I shall send for the doctor in the morning,” he informed her. “You are far too ill for this condition to be only the flu.”

  * * *

  Natasha woke Sunday morning to the aroma of coffee and toast. Nauseated, she jumped out of bed and reached for the basin. She noticed Stewart appear by the sofa.

  “Shall I send a telegram and postpone our visit?” he asked sympathetically.

  “No,” she moaned. “Prolonging the inevitable won’t help. I hope once your parents are informed of the truth my stomach will settle. I’m dreading their reaction.”

  “You’re dreading it?” he repeated with a trace of irony. “I’ve been deceiving them as well. They’ll be disappointed…,” he paused to consider his words, “devastated by the revelation.”

  “Tell me
truthfully, what are your hopes?”

  Stewart entered their room and knelt down beside her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

  “Trust me. They love you like a daughter. They will forgive you. Forgive us. May I hold you?”

  Natasha closed her eyes, shook her head, and gripped the basin.

  “Natasha, you need to see a doctor. You’re not well.”

  “You must believe me when I say it is my nerves.”

  “Your nerves never affected you this way in all the time you left the castle grounds to come and see me. It is not pleasing to see you this sick.”

  “I appreciate your concern, but my stomach will settle once we speak with your parents.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Stewart’s father arrived with the team of horses and the buggy. Stewart assisted Natasha up and they travelled to his parents’ home. Vicki stood in the open doorway holding Goldie’s collar. Goldie’s tail wagged so hard he was certain it would break free and become airborne. As they approached the house, he studied his sister’s expression. There wasn’t a doubt, his little sister recalled meeting Natasha at the river. Giving her a penetrating stare, he put his fingers to his mouth to silence her.

  “Hush. Yes, I’m aware you remember meeting Natasha, but you must remain silent for just a little while.”

  Once settled in the parlour, Goldie relaxed between Natasha and Vicki. Momma finished preparing the meal. It was a magnificent dinner, but Natasha consumed very little. With the table cleared, they retreated to the parlour once more. Stewart and Natasha sat on the love-seat while his parents settled on the adjacent couch. Vicki sat on a chair with Goldie curled up between her and Natasha.

  Stewart began the discussion by informing his family of his first encounter with Natasha at the river. His attention was divided between his parents and fiancée. Natasha’s eyes remained glued to the dog. His parents expressed their disappointment upon hearing of his deception. They were speechless when he informed them Natasha was the princess from the neighbouring castle. Devastated by the news, Momma stood and left the room. Stewart reached for Natasha’s hand and kissed it.

  Poppa rose and moved to the corner of the room. Stewart followed him. Vicki took her brother’s seat on the sofa. Her face held a puzzled expression. Obviously she did not understand the scope of the situation, or the ramifications to her brother and future sister-in-law.

  “My humble apologies,” Stewart said, turning his attention to his father. “I never meant to deceive you or Momma. I was livid with Natasha the night she confessed the truth, but after she explained, I forgave her. I sympathize with her dilemma. I’m in love with her. I cannot live my life without her.”

  “I don’t suppose you could,” Poppa admitted with a weak smile. “Her family will not tolerate this union, regardless of the love you share. Have you given the implications of this relationship serious thought?”

  “Yes, indeed I have,” he acknowledged. “Could you imagine your life without Momma?”

  Poppa shifted his attention to the floor before shaking his head.

  “I cannot,” he admitted.

  “Patience is a virtue I must possess,” Stewart continued. “Natasha desperately seeks approval, and her happiness is foremost in my mind and heart.”

  “Your living arrangement is unacceptable, Stewart.”

  “I’m aware of that. The moment we are able a date will be set, and we shall be wed.”

  Silence that fell over the room. Vicki and Natasha’s conversation reached their ears.

  Vicki, being young and naïve, was excited by the news, and envious of Natasha’s position as a princess. It was apparent she found the news very pleasing as she conversed with her friend.

  Terrified of the conversation she would have with her friends later, information about their relationship would spread like wildfire. His relationship with Natasha would be threatened. Natasha would be forced to go home. They would never see each other again. He excused himself and approached his younger sister.

  “You will not speak of Natasha to anyone outside this room,” he ordered. “Your lips shall remain closed. Do you understand me?”

  Vicki returned his glare, and then turned and looked at their poppa. Stewart calmed his voice. He was out of line, especially with his poppa present. He had not lived with his family in years. He did not have the right to discipline his sister. It was certainly not the way to gain her co-operation in keeping their secret.

  “If you must, inform your friends that you met your brother’s fiancée. You may say we met at university, but do not mention her proper name,” he instructed, changing tactics.

  Poppa approached the sofa and stopped just in front of him.

  “You shall not speak of this to even your best friend,” he commanded Vicki. “You have been trusted with confidential information and will be severely chastised if you speak Natasha’s true name outside this home. Do you understand me?”

  Trembling, Vicki began to cry. Momma returned from the kitchen and embraced her daughter. Natasha’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears. She was heartbroken for his young, impressionable sister’s confusion. Stewart returned to his place beside his fiancée and placed his arm around her.

  “Vicki,” Momma spoke in a soothing tone. “We cannot stress the importance of privacy. If you have questions or concerns, you may speak with your poppa or me within this home. This matter is not your concern. You must remain silent on the topic.”

  “I understand, Momma,” she whimpered. “I promise.”

  Preparing to leave, Stewart put his arm around his sister and whispered to her. He watched as she embraced Natasha. Neither Momma nor Poppa looked at or attempted to speak with his fiancée. The atmosphere was in sharp contrast to their earlier visits. Natasha remained strong during their journey home, but once in the comfort of their apartment, she broke down and cried in his arms.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Still in their nightclothes, Natasha and Stewart stood by the sofa, arguing. The outer door opened. The conversation stopped.

  “Pardon the intrusion, but that is not a pleasing tone,” Nanny remarked, entering the room. “You did not respond to my knock.”

  “My apologies. We must learn to keep our voices lowered. Natasha woke, and reached for the basin once again. I wish to take her to see the doctor. She insists it is not necessary. I insist it is.”

  “It is just my nerves,” she repeated.

  “Which the doctor shall confirm,” Stewart reinforced.

  “I’m also concerned for your health,” Nanny declared. “You require the attention of a physician.”

  “No.”

  “I must insist. I know just the place.”

  Nanny led the horses into the orphanage driveway. Nanny went inside and reappeared with a woman neither recognized. Natasha was taken up the steps and into a room, leaving Stewart and Nanny in the lobby.

  After a thorough examination, the nurse brought Stewart into the examination room. He sat on the edge of the bed beside her. The doctor informed them Natasha was with child. Natasha glared at the doctor, certain he was mistaken. Her attention shifted to Stewart. He stared at the floor. The doctor continued, informing them the nausea was normal at this stage of the pregnancy. The baby was healthy, with a strong heartbeat. Together, they walked out of the room and down the steps to that all-familiar lobby where Nanny waited for them.

  “I’m not ill or dying, but with child,” Natasha informed her.

  “Yes. I suspected as much,” Nanny admitted.

  It was a quiet ride home. Stewart never spoke as he guided Nanny’s team of horses. Entering their apartment, Natasha collapsed on the chair and stared at the floor. With the upheaval in their lives, being with child had not occurred to either of them. She dreaded the impending conversation with Stewart. She peeked at him from the corner of her eye. He had been so quiet all the way home. What is he thinking? Will he wish to walk out of my life? We are in no position to have a baby at this point in our live
s. This is dreadful timing, but I want this baby. With the prospect of a magnificent future ahead of him, becoming a father at this stage of his life would destroy Stewart’s plans, not to mention his future.

  While at university she had heard of procedures to terminate unwanted pregnancies. It wasn’t an option she was willing to consider. In her womb she was carrying something their love created. I’m carrying Stewart’s child. I can only pray Nanny will remain by my side to assist me. What in God’s name will Mother say … and Father? Can I hide this from them? Pregnancy out of wedlock. His family will be disgraced. Stewart will be—no, I will lose my life before my parents learn Stewart’s name. She repressed the urge to bury her face in her hands and wail like a child of Vicki’s age.

  * * *

  Keeghan turned from the screen and looked at Alexander.

  “That poor girl,” she sympathized. “Pregnant. I can’t imagine. She needs Stewart and Nanny to support her. In her shoes, I couldn’t even consider terminating the pregnancy.”

  Alexander never responded. Turning her attention back to the screen, she wanted the story to continue. She needed to see how this dilemma would unfold.

  * * *

  Stewart sat on the second chair, leaving Nanny to sit on the sofa. With his chin resting on his fist, Stewart stared at the floor. Never speechless as a rule, he had not spoken since the doctor proclaimed the results of the examination.

  “I must assume you used the tranquillity of the ride to think as I have,” Natasha began, keeping her voice low. “Please, do not feel obligated to support me, or this child. You will not be disgraced, nor will your family. I will never speak your name as long as I’m able to breathe. My apologies.”