And that, really, was why he was most hacked off. His travels had led him into predicaments like this before, and it hadn’t bothered him all that much. Really, he’d loved pursuing stories like this one. The kind of news he liked to follow seldom manifested in comfortable surroundings. It tended to come up at the worst possible times, in the worst possible locations under the worst possible circumstances. It was part of what made those stories…well, newsworthy. And never before had Mason been one to complain. Not until such stories started keeping him from Lou.
Which was weird, because he’d never missed Lou when he was on assignment before. Well, okay, that wasn’t entirely true. He’d missed her sometimes. A little bit. But he’d always known he would go home to find her waiting for him at the airport, had always known they would go out to dinner afterward, and he would be able to tell her all about the things he’d seen and done, and listen while she told him about her own experiences in his absence. This time, though, he realized with no small amount of panic, he wasn’t at all certain Lou would be there for him when he got home. And if she wasn’t there for him this time, he had no one to blame but himself for behaving like such a jerk.
A branch snapped above him, and Mason glanced up, only to be doused in the face with a stream of tepid rainwater. He sighed wearily as he wiped his face with his hands. Think warm thoughts, he instructed himself. Think about going to Belize when this is over.
But whenever he did that, trying to conjure images of beaches and restaurants and sunsets and women, the images that came through were all boring and bland. Unless he put Lou into the picture. Then, suddenly, everything was better. And that was when he started to think, maybe, he might have been wrong about Lou. Or worse, he might have been wrong about himself.
The doubts had started creeping in as soon as he left Lou at the hotel in Madriga, and they’d had two weeks since then to flourish. He had been so sure she would get over him in no time, that she would be able to get on with her life and be happy once she worked through the notion she was in love with him. He had been certain what she felt for him was just a case of gratitude and puppy love, a leftover adolescent response that she would reject once she realized how unrealistic her emotions were. Now he was beginning to wonder if maybe he’d shortchanged her in that department, the way he had shortchanged her all along.
Who was he to say what she felt? Who was he to presume to know her better than she knew herself? Hell, he was the last person on earth who should be trying to figure out a woman.
And then there was this preoccupation with analyzing himself lately. Try as he might to dismiss the haunting images of making love to Lou, they weren’t going anywhere. And try as he might to keep insisting what he felt for her was no different from what he’d felt for other women, deep down, he knew that wasn’t true. He’d always had special feelings for Lou. Despite his belittling of the phrase when he was trying to push her away, he admitted now that in a lot of ways, Lou was the only woman he had ever loved. But it wasn’t romantic love. Was it? He’d never thought so. And he still didn’t. Did he?
“¿Senor Thorne?” he heard a voice call out from the rainy darkness.
“¿Si?” he answered absently.
“We are ready to move out now.”
Great. The guerrillas were ready to move out. Maybe they’d even cover a couple of miles this time if no one got tired or stubbed their toe.
Mason pushed himself up from the ground with a resounding grunt and went back to the compound to retrieve his gear. This story was going nowhere. These guys couldn’t overthrow the old neighborhood, let alone a small country. Paula must have been nuts to send him on this assignment. Then Mason remembered how he had begged his editor to come up with something—anything—for him to cover that would keep him out of the country for another couple of weeks. He had no one but himself to blame for his current situation. Even so, it wasn’t so much the professional predicament he was in now that concerned him as much as it was the personal one.
Boy, did he miss Lou.
****
“Lou, you have to come this weekend. Emily’s positive the baby’s going to be here by Sunday night.”
Lou cradled the phone between her chin and shoulder and shifted absently through her mail. “But she’s still got another week to go,” she told a pleading Mick Dante at the other end of the line. “Mason and I weren’t planning on coming until next weekend, and even that looks iffy for Mason if his assignment isn’t wrapped up by then.”
And iffy for both of us depending on what happens when he gets back, she added to herself.
“I know my wife,” Mick insisted. “If she says the baby is coming this weekend, the baby is coming this weekend. And she really wants the two of you to be here when it happens.”
Lou felt herself relenting. Mick and Emily Dante had done nearly as much for her as Mason had since she had left Hack’s Crossing. Emily was like the big sister Lou never had, and Mick was just about the most wonderful man she’d ever met. Just about.
“All right, Mick, I’ll leave work early tomorrow and catch the last train. Will that be okay?”
“I’ll pick you up at the station.”
Lou smiled. It was nice to know there were still some men in the world a woman could count on. “Thanks. I’ll see you then.”
When she hung up the receiver, she was still smiling. The last time she saw Emily had been two weeks ago, right after Lou’s return from Sonora, when the two Dantes had brought Roscoe home. Lou would never say it to her face, of course, but Emily had been huge. Lou had feared briefly she might be pregnant after her night with Mason, since neither had been prepared for what happened. But she’d gotten her period a week after returning home, so it was fine. She told herself she should be relieved, since getting pregnant now, especially by a man who didn’t want her, would do nothing but disrupt her career and her plans for the future. She’d still felt an odd twinge of disappointment upon the discovery.
Two envelopes in her hand stayed her thoughts. One was postmarked Seattle, the other Phoenix. Both return addresses were from newspapers to which she had sent copies of her résumé and samples of her stories. They were the first replies she’d received to the dozen inquiries for employment she had sent out, and they were in the cities that were the farthest away from Washington. For a moment, she wasn’t sure she even wanted to open them. She almost didn’t want to know if there might be a chance for her to build a life elsewhere in the world. There was still a big part of her that wanted to stay here and take a few more chances with Mason.
That’s ridiculous, she told herself as she tore into the first of the envelopes. There were no more chances with Mason. He had made it crystal clear there would be no gray area for her to lose herself in hoping. Scanning the letter she pulled from the envelope, Lou began to smile. They wanted to set up an interview with her. They needed a reporter who had ties to the Caribbean. Quickly, she set that letter on the table and ran her thumb under the flap of the other. That reply, too, was positive. They were impressed by the fact that she had been granted an interview with Marco Papitou as a part of her first assignment.
Lou held her breath as she stared at the letters lying side by side on her table. There was someone in the world who wanted her. Someone who needed her. She had overcome the first hurdle in gaining her independence, had taken one giant step forward in taking control of her life. And she had done it all by herself, without any help at all from Mason Thorne.
What was she going to do? What was it that she really wanted? Actually, that wasn’t the right question to ask, because what she really wanted was a lifetime spent loving and being loved by Mason, which was obviously out of her grasp. Quit stalling, a little voice in the back of her head piped up. Knock it off and make a decision.
Lou thought good and hard for a long, long time before she did just that. And when she finally did reach a decision, it was to pack her bag in preparation for a weekend spent in Cannonfire with the Dantes. She could think about her fu
ture when she got back, she told herself. Right now, there was a baby waiting to come into the world, and Lou wanted to be there when it happened.
Just in case she was needed.
****
“I am so glad you were able to come,” Mick told Lou as they made the short drive from the Cannonfire train station to the waterfront Dante home. “Emily would have been frantic if neither you nor Mason had been able to make it. As it is now, she’s just mildly neurotic.”
Lou grinned at the man in the driver’s seat, thinking Emily Dante was one of the luckiest women alive. Mick was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, six-foot-five and a solid mass of muscle, with coal black hair and eyes the color of dying charcoals. He was a dream of a man, straight from the pages of a romance novel, and he was utterly devoted to his wife.
“Yeah, well how would you feel if you were toting around another human being inside your body?” she asked. “Emily barely has extra room in her for lunch.”
Mick chuckled. “Okay, you’re right. But this having babies business is pretty crazy. I hate to think we’re going to have to go through this again someday. About fifteen times, if Emily has her way.”
“Oh, with the next one this will all be old hat,” Lou assured him. “You guys will be pros.”
Mick shook his head. “No way. I’ll never get used to it. Never.”
Hah, Lou thought. Despite his protests, Mick was most likely the happiest man alive. He and Emily had wanted to start a family years ago but had put it off, first because they were working on the house and wanted it to be ready for starting a family, and then because they’d bought the bookstore Emily was managing. But it hadn’t taken long for them to find themselves in the family way. And both had made sure everyone knew they were only getting started.
When Mick pulled the car into the driveway of the rambling old Victorian, Emily was sitting in the wicker swing on the porch, pushing it back and forth with her toe, fanning herself with the evening newspaper. Lou thought she looked radiant, dressed in dark green maternity overalls and bathed in the glow of the setting sun that struck fires in her dark auburn curls. Across the street from the house, Chesapeake Bay sparkled in the dying light, and the wind riffled through the leaves of the two big oak trees in the front yard. It was going to be a beautiful weekend, just perfect for watching a baby come into the world.
“Don’t get up,” Lou called out to Emily as the latter attempted to rise from the swing. “I’ll join you.”
As Mick headed into the house to put Lou’s bag in the spare room she always occupied on her visits to Cannonfire, Emily scooted over to create a place for her on the swing.
“Have you heard anything from Mason?” she asked as Lou tucked one leg beneath the other and set the swing into motion again.
Lou shook her head, trying to ignore the anxiety that wound through her. “Not a word. I haven’t spoken to him at all since…um…Sonora.”
“That’s just like Mason,” Emily said. “To take off without telling anyone where he’s going and stay incommunicado the entire time he’s gone. You’d think that after what happened to him in Hack’s Crossing, he’d do better, but nooo… He has to be Mason Thorne, investigative reporter on the go.”
“Yeah, that’s Mason all right,” Lou agreed derisively.
Emily glanced over at her. “Is there something wrong?”
Wrong? Lou thought. What could possibly be wrong? Just because the man she loved had completely rejected her and made it clear he would never be part of her life the way she wanted? Just because she was this close to resigning from her job to take another one on the other side of the country? Just because her entire life was about to enter an unknown dimension she still wasn’t sure she wanted to explore? No, there was nothing wrong.
“No,” she replied flatly.
But Emily wasn’t going for it. “What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“There’s something wrong.”
“No, there isn’t,” Lou insisted.
“I’ve known you too long, Lou. In a lot of ways, I’ve watched you grow up. I can tell when something is bothering you. Now ’fess up.”
Lou sighed. When Mason’s sister put her mind to finding something out, there was little chance any secret would remain secret. It would probably be best if Lou just told her everything. “When we were on Sonora,” she said, trying to choose her words carefully, “Mason and I… That is, we… I mean he…”
“He seduced you,” Emily guessed matter-of-factly.
“Actually,” Lou said, looking down at the fingers she had tangled nervously in her lap, “I kind of seduced him.”
“What?”
“It was the dress,” she explained lamely, unable to meet Emily’s gaze. “See, I have this red dress that I knew Mason…uh…liked, and I packed it on purpose because I kind of hoped he might, you know…like it again. And he did. Um, like it. A lot.”
“You and Mason made love?” Emily asked cautiously.
Lou met the other woman’s gaze and nodded. “Uh-huh,” she mumbled, feeling like a fifteen-year-old who’d been caught necking on the couch by her mother.
Lou wasn’t sure how Emily would react to the revelation and prepared herself for the worst. But when the other woman began to smile with genuine delight, Lou couldn’t help smiling, too.
“That’s wonderful,” Emily said, her green eyes bright. “So when’s the wedding?”
Lou’s eyebrows shot up at that. “There’s not going to be a wedding. I’m moving. I have a couple of job offers on the west coast.”
“But that’s ridiculous,” Emily said. “You love Mason. Mason loves you. Now that you both finally realize that, I would think you’d be moving in together.”
Lou widened her eyes in surprise. “Mason doesn’t love me.”
“Oh, of course he does.”
“Not like that. Not the way you think.”
“Lou,” Emily said, “if there’s one person on earth that I know through and through, it’s my brother. He may be a jerk sometimes, trying to deny his feelings, but he’s an open book. He’s been in love with you since the day you guys got back from Hack’s Crossing. He just had to wait until you did a little growing up before he could let love take its course.”
“No, Emily, you’re wrong,” Lou assured her. “I just took your place in Mason’s life. He knew that you and Mick would be spending the rest of your lives together, and he wasn’t sure what he was going to do without a kid sister to look after anymore. So he adopted me and put me in the role instead.”
Emily smiled. “You couldn’t be more wrong. That may be what he told himself, but that isn’t the case at all. He’s in love with you, Lou. He always has been, and he always will be. He’s just a little slow on the uptake sometimes, that’s all.”
Lou shook her head again. “That’s just wishful thinking.”
“Give him time,” Emily said gently. “You’ll see I’m right.”
“He’s had six years, Emily. Don’t you think he would have realized it by now if he was going to?”
“Look, you said the two of you made love for the first time on Sonora, right?”
“Right…”
“And that was what? Two weeks ago?”
Lou nodded.
“So, you know Mason. He has a thick skull,” Emily said with sisterly affection. “It takes time for realizations like this to penetrate to his brain, especially with him fighting them all the way.”
“But—”
“Give him time, Lou,” Emily repeated.
Lou wanted to agree. But she and Mason had known each other for six years. They had worked together, gone out together, shared meals together, even slept together. If Mason was going to admit that he was in love with her—if in fact he was, which Lou still considered unlikely—then he had been presented with hundreds of opportunities to do it. And he hadn’t admitted any such thing. He hadn’t even come close. Instead, he had taken her avowal of love for him and assured her it was nothing more t
han an understandable reaction to a common dilemma. That wasn’t exactly the behavior of a man who was in love with her.
“I can’t give him any more time,” Lou told Emily. “I’ve sent out résumés to newspapers across the country, and I received replies yesterday from two very good ones who are interested in talking to me. If I pass up these opportunities, I may not get any other ones.”
“Lou—” Emily began.
“I’m sorry, Emily, but I have to get on with my life. I can’t keep hanging around waiting to see if Mason’s going to come to his senses—if that’s even the case. I just don’t believe his feelings for me will ever change.”
“Exactly,” Emily said. “He loves you. He always has. He always will.”
“I wish that was true,” Lou replied as she rose from the swing. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go unpack. I’m taking Monday and Tuesday off from work, so if you need me beyond Sunday, you’ve got me.”
“There’s someone else who needs you more than I do, Lou,” Emily said.
“And he’s always had me, Emily. He just doesn’t want me. Not the way I want him to.”
In an effort to prevent any more argument, Lou rushed into the house, taking the stairs two at a time. She just hoped she could reach the privacy of her room before she fell apart.
Chapter Eleven
Mason gazed blandly at the woman seated beside him in the bar on Ambergris Caye and frowned. What had she said her name was? Brittany? Britta? Briana? He couldn’t remember. He did recall she’d said she was from Sweden. Or was it Norway? Switzerland? Oh, well. It didn’t matter. He’d already decided as soon as he finished his drink he would be going back to his hotel. He wasn’t having nearly as much fun in Belize as he’d thought he would.
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