“You’re a good girl.” Elena gave Ari a kiss on the cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Her mother took off to find Sam.
Her father put an arm around Ari’s shoulders. “You always were the levelheaded one in the family.”
She shook her head, suddenly hating the differences between them for very new reasons. “Is that why I never fit in?” she asked, now wanting to feel more like a member of the family than an outsider.
“You are one of us. You always fit in.” He grasped her by both shoulders, kissing her on each cheek. “You just never wanted to.”
Tears filled her eyes as she was forced to acknowledge the truth in his words. She didn’t understand how or why she’d let things get so out of hand, how she’d let herself drift so far from the family she loved. It wasn’t even worth discussing why they’d never told her about Zoe’s career. Her sister’s explanation made sense now.
“Don’t worry. Samantha will come around,” her father said, misunderstanding the source of her tears.
Ari forced a smile. After all, how could she expect more when she’d kept herself so far away?
She wiped her eyes and smiled at her father. “I hope so,” she said about Sam. But from the desperate look in the girl’s eyes, Ari wasn’t so sure.
“I think Zoe and Sam will get along splendidly, don’t you think?”
Ari met her father’s gaze. “Yes, yes I do.” She swallowed hard. “She’ll be home soon, Dad. I can feel it.” She hugged her father tight.
“I hope you’re right. The one consolation is that I’m sure she knows how to handle herself,” he murmured. “In the meantime, let’s go bring Spank and her things to your Aunt Dee, okay?” he asked.
Recognizing the change of subject as necessary, she nodded. “Afterwards, I have some ideas about who can take Spank, and I think everyone will be pleased.”
Nicholas beamed. “You’re the light of my life, Ari. Don’t you ever forget it.”
But obviously she had forgotten that, along with who she was deep in her heart. Her throat hurt from holding back tears as she realized that in doing so, she had no idea who and what she now wanted to be.
• • •
Connor knew he was late as he strode into the diner he and Quinn had chosen for a quick meeting. He dumped his duffel bag on the floor beneath the table. “Hey,” he said to Quinn, sliding into the booth across from him.
Quinn grumbled but didn’t glance up.
With a shrug, Connor turned his attention to the menu, studying his choices, whistling while he tried to choose between a burger and a cheeseburger.
“Something’s wrong with this picture,” Quinn said, speaking at last, a sour tone to his voice.
Connor glanced over the top of his menu. “What the hell’s bugging you?”
“Your whistling is annoying the shit out of me,” Quinn muttered.
“Like I care,” Connor said, rolling his eyes at his friend’s attitude, hoping to push him into revealing what was really bothering him.
But Quinn didn’t react, merely leaned back in his seat and groaned.
With the case close to being wrapped up, he would normally be intense, but this don’t-mess-with-me tone and his fierce expression were over the top, even for him. Connor studied his best friend and an idea finally dawned, making him burst out laughing. “Oh, I get it. You haven’t gotten laid lately. That being the case, I can see why you’d be in a foul mood.”
Quinn narrowed his gaze. “When I get laid and with whom is none of your goddamn business. Though by that stupid whistle and ridiculous grin, you’ve obviously been getting enough for both of us.”
Connor shook his head, chuckling. “Last I heard, two people needed alone time to get any action.” He wiped his napkin over the tabletop, sliding the crumbs to an out-of-the-way corner. “Maria and I have been a threesome since this whole thing started.”
Not only hadn’t he gotten lucky with Maria, but as much as he wanted her, he was content to move at her speed. Which shocked the hell out of Connor.
Quinn signaled for a waitress and ordered a black coffee. Connor asked for the same.
“Let me get this straight,” Quinn said when the waitress had gone. “McDonald’s, carnivals, and hanging out in front of the television with a kid, and you aren’t spooked?” Quinn stared at him as if he’d lost his mind.
Connor merely shrugged. Maybe he’d found his mind instead. “It’s better than just having myself for company. And it’s a damn sight better than walking around sulking like you are,” he said. Seeing as he hadn’t had the urge to bail on Maria or her kid in the days since their first date, Connor considered it progress.
The waitress stopped by to pour their coffee and take their orders.
“Is Ari giving you trouble?” Connor asked when she’d left.
“You could say that,” Quinn replied, staring into his cup. Though Connor had asked a valid question, he wasn’t going to get an accurate answer. “Or you could say I’m giving trouble to myself.” But Quinn wasn’t about to mention his disastrous trip with Ari to the safe house. Not even to his best friend.
“Have you ever considered giving up undercover work?” Quinn asked, opting for a subject change guaranteed to take Connor’s mind off women. A subject that Quinn had been mulling in the back of his mind for some time now, but one he hadn’t been ready to express out loud.
He expected Connor to look shocked, but instead he received silence that only seemed to grow.
Finally Connor nodded slowly. “Sometimes I lie in bed at night and wonder what it would be like to wake up and not have to run through my cover and the lies that keep me alive,” he admitted.
“Yeah,” Quinn agreed. “A nice transfer to Detective Division might work.”
“Mmm,” Connor said.
They mulled over their thoughts in private. Both Quinn and Connor had been undercover since graduation from the Academy. Other than each other, the two men had no family. Too often they were so deep undercover, their real lives were barely recognizable. The FBI had had no trouble putting them on special assignment for the Bureau. They’d already done the groundwork to establish their cover within Damon’s operation. And thank God it was almost over, which meant Quinn could begin to focus on the future.
Right now he knew Ari’s crazy family had served as the catalyst for facing the thoughts he’d buried for so long. He’d never had a family, and never thought he’d want to. But watching Sam settle in so easily, and seeing how even he could enjoy the normal type of things he’d missed out on growing up, showed him that maybe he was ready to give it a try.
Quinn missed having a life. But he also wondered what kind of life awaited him if he gave up undercover work. And what kind of role the woman he loved would play in that life, when odds were she wouldn’t be around to reap the benefits of his decision.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Quinn stood alone in Damon’s office with a bank of screens in front of him. It was almost over. He’d turned over a week’s worth of tapes from the counting room, and government men were working around the clock to find the discrepancies that would lead to Damon’s arrest and a warrant to search further. His head buzzed with the anticipation of a job almost completed. So much so that when his cell phone rang, he almost didn’t hear it.
He picked up just in time. “Donovan.”
“Quinn, I can’t find Sam, and Dee said Spank’s gone, too,” Elena said, in an obvious panic.
His stomach churned. “You’re kidding?” he asked, but he knew she wasn’t. “Okay, sit tight. I’ll find her.” He hung up and groaned, then called down to the bar and asked Connor to send Ari to see him.
Five minutes later, she burst into the room. “What’s wrong?” she asked, out of breath, concern on her beautiful face.
“Sam and Spank have gone AWOL.”
She narrowed her gaze. “Missing?”
He nodded. “And it’s not like I can put out an APB on a blonde teenager and her si
dekick monkey. Hell, it’s not even like I can leave here.”
She walked over and pulled him into an embrace. “I’ll handle it,” she promised him.
He inhaled deep, the scent of her fragrant hair and her bodily warmth reassuring him. “I know you will.”
“Does she know where you live?” Ari asked.
“Yeah, so that’s one place you can check. The rec center’s another.” Beyond that, he didn’t want to think of the places a young girl could get lost. The only saving grace in this situation was that a teenager traveling with a monkey as a companion couldn’t get far without being noticed.
“I’ll call you as soon as I know something,” Ari promised, and started to dig through her bag, which she’d placed on a countertop. “Yep. I have my cell.” As she turned, the bag fell to the floor, contents spilling all over. “Darn it.”
She knelt and he helped her pile everything back inside. “It’s because you’re nervous. Try to remain calm while you’re looking, okay?” he said as they rose to their feet.
Her gaze met his and quickly, almost as if she didn’t want to give herself time to think, she leaned close and covered his lips with hers. Knowing he had mere seconds, he laced his arms around her waist, deepened the kiss, and pulled her close. He intended to take advantage of what she’d offered.
Tipping her head backwards, she let her tongue slip effortlessly into his mouth and tangle with his. Her body went slack, molding against him, and as her nipples puckered beneath her T-shirt, his body tensed with desire and longing.
She must have felt it, because her legs parted, letting the hard ridge of his erection slip between. Clothing provided a frustrating barrier, but one that allowed him needed time to think.
“Sam,” he muttered, pulling back.
She nodded, wiping the back of her hand over her damp lips. “I have to go.” Regret tinged her voice and she didn’t jump to fix her rumpled shirt or reapply her lipstick to her well-kissed mouth.
“Don’t forget to keep your cell on,” he said.
“I’ll call.” Seconds later, she was gone.
• • •
Prior to Sam’s disappearing act, Ari had spent a long night on her feet. She’d been filled with anxiety, knowing Quinn was getting ready to wrap up his case and end his association with Damon-she didn’t know the details of how things would go down. Worry for his safety consumed her, and though she’d promised herself she’d let him do his job, she couldn’t help peeking around corners, hoping for a glimpse of his handsome face. She needed Quinn’s smile or a quick nod of his head to reassure her everything would be okay.
Once Quinn had called her into his office, she’d been so relieved to see him, she’d dropped the reserve she’d been building between them. She had counted on that reserve to enable her to return to her uncomplicated life in Vermont.
Between her earlier concern over Quinn and the new worry about Sam, she couldn’t help but seek reassurance and comfort in Quinn’s arms. Or so she wanted to believe.
Finally the rec center came into sight, changing her focus. She’d chosen to check here first since it was open and there would be people around. She’d locked up Quinn’s house earlier, so the likelihood of finding Samantha there wasn’t as great.
Full of hope, Ari pulled into the parking lot, but ten minutes later she walked out frustrated and no closer to finding the teen. She’d questioned Al Wolf along with most of the kids. They’d all spread out to help her look, though none had seen or heard from Sam at all that day.
Instead of calling Quinn with no news, she decided to wait until she’d checked his house. Once she made the twenty-minute drive, she stepped out of the car once more, this time struck by the drop in temperature. In her hurry to find Sam, she’d left her jacket at the casino, and in her short sleeves, she had no protection against the cold. If Sam had come here, Ari hoped she’d been smart enough to bring a jacket of some kind.
She checked both the front and garage entrances to the house, but both remained locked and alarmed. Next she headed out back, where Dozer had a doghouse and a lead. Quinn had instructed her to leave the dog outside as long as the temperatures weren’t too cold.
The spotlights shone out back but it was still dark and hard to see anything besides shaded figures of trees. But sure enough, as soon as she rounded the back, she heard the dog’s distinctive bark.
She’d quickly learned that he answered to simple commands. “Dozer,” she called. “Come.”
The dog came toward her-at least she thought it was the dog, but with the dim lighting, she was uncertain. Especially since he seemed to have something large on his back. Ari blinked. She thought she knew what that something was, but the idea was so absurd she had to come closer to be certain.
She took two steps, then another. And then the vision became clear. Spank sat atop Dozer’s back as he walked, the monkey holding herself up with pride like the grand marshal at the circus.
Amusement warred with anger. Anger won out and Ari sucked in a deep breath, then counted to ten. When that didn’t work to calm her down, she let loose with a loud yell. “Samantha, get your runaway behind out here now!”
At the same time, Ari flipped open her cell phone and dialed Quinn, speaking to him only long enough to reassure him that Sam was okay and to promise that she’d return the girl to Elena and Nicholas before rejoining him at the hotel. For Quinn’s part, he’d have to wait his turn to yell and discipline Sam until he could afford a distraction from the case.
But Ari could take her turn now. She strode across the grass and called out Sam’s name again.
“I’m here, so you can quit screaming before you wake the neighbors,” Sam said in a sulky voice.
Ari reminded herself that Sam had had a hard time lately. That she’d had more upheaval than most adults endure in a lifetime and that in all probability she had what she thought was a good reason for this particular disappearing act. But the anger and fear still collided inside her, and only the fact that the young girl was whole and in one piece gave Ari a small measure of comfort.
She reached out and yanked Sam by the hand, pulling her into her arms and hugging her tight. “I was worried sick. Quinn was worried sick. And my parents are pacing the floor of the house, both worried sick!” Ari squeezed her tighter.
“Mmmmbrrgggggbbbb,” Sam mumbled into Ari’s shirt.
“What?”
Sam pushed and wriggled her way free. “I said I can’t breathe!”
Ari swallowed hard. “And I can’t think when I’m freezing.”
She grabbed Sam’s hand, then pulled the monkey into her arms and headed for the car. Once she’d settled Spank in the back, she and Sam sat in the front. Ari turned toward the young girl.
“Think you can get me one of those tight shirts?” Sam asked, pointing to Ari’s “Damon’s” tee.
“Tell me something. Do you not understand the concept of somebody worrying about you?” she asked, letting out a frustrated breath of air.
“Why should I? It’s not like anybody’s cared before,” Sam muttered. She wrapped her arms around herself and huddled into a ball.
Her profound words took some of the anger out of Ari, replacing it with a deep sense of sadness instead. When Zoe was presumed missing, the entire Costas household had turned themselves inside out with concern and fear. Even as they pushed on with life and business as usual, the love and concern for Zoe never diminished. Which, Ari figured, would land Zoe in deep, deep trouble when the truth was revealed.
But that wasn’t important right now. Sam didn’t believe anyone could care enough to worry. The sadness in that one statement was overwhelming.
“My parents called Quinn. They were frantic,” Ari said.
“Yeah, well, Felice and Aaron called Quinn, too. So did the family before that and the one before that. Even the guy with the paddle in the closet called the cops if a kid went missing. They’re just worried about themselves. If they lose a kid, they lose their monthly money from the state o
r they could even go to jail. So don’t try and say that it’s me they’re worried about.”
Ari opened her mouth, then closed it again. This child had been exposed to more than Ari could even imagine, and the sheer pain of her life hit Ariana hard. “Do you believe the same thing’s true for my parents? For Elena and Nicholas?”
Sam shrugged. “How should I know?”
Ari tipped her head to one side. “Good point. How should you know? Maybe you were testing them?” she asked softly. The idea, once it sprang to life, took hold and wouldn’t let go.
Sam didn’t answer. From the back seat, Spank clapped her hands, and a quick glance over her shoulder told Ari she was playing with her feet.
Well, as long as she was busy, Ari didn’t care. “Let me ask you something. You already decided Elena and Nicholas would call Quinn, since it’s what all foster parents do when a child runs away.” Ari gripped the steering wheel tight, trying to formulate her question in a way that made sense to a thirteen-year-old girl. “So what are you looking for? Best-case scenario, what can they do to prove themselves?” Ari asked, truly curious about Sam’s answer. If she even had one.
“I dunno.”
“What did the other parents do?”
“Nothing,” Sam said, squirming in her seat. “Maybe a missed meal or something. Well, not Felice. She just said ‘Thank goodness this will all be over soon.’ ”
Ari nodded. Suddenly, she understood. Undertaking the foster-care process wasn’t enough to convince Sam she was safe and loved. And for all the talk of adoption, the finalization was a long way off. Too long for a teenager who’d been shuffled around to believe it. For Elena and Nicholas to pass this test, they had to react. They needed to act like parents, Ari thought.
While turning the key in the ignition, she thought back to her childhood. Beyond the pranks and the cons, there was always plenty of love and understanding. Reprimanding, too, when the occasion warranted it. She hoped they could come through now, when Sam needed it most.
The ride home passed in silence, Ari not wanting to push Sam and unsure what to say anyway. It wasn’t until they pulled up in front of the Costas house that Sam turned toward Ari and spoke.
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