“What’s gonna happen to Spank?”
Absorbed in thinking about Sam’s life, Ari hadn’t given much thought to the monkey that night, and the question took her by surprise. “Well, I’ve been looking online and making some calls. Because she’s been well treated and her medical care is all up to date, she’s an easy placement. I just don’t want her in a zoo or someplace like that.” Ari shuddered.
“I don’t want her to go,” Sam said, stubbornness written all over her face.
With that particular trait, she’d fit into the family well, Ari thought. “Believe it or not, I’ve been taking that into consideration. What would you think about giving her to an animal trainer? Someone who lives close enough that you could visit, but also someone with good credentials and who treats animals with kindness, not punishment?”
“You’re asking me?” Sam said, her eyes wide and incredulous. As if her opinion had never counted for anything before.
“Well, seeing as how you love her, and considering you’re a member of this family, of course I’m asking you.” Ari reached out to rub Sam’s shoulder, but the girl jerked away and opened the car door instead.
“Spank’s a member of the family, too. Elena always said so and you’re giving her away. How do I know they won’t give me away next?” With those words, Sam jumped out of the car and ran for the front porch.
She’d revealed her biggest fear at last. One Ari knew her parents would find much more difficult to assuage than anything else on her mind.
Ari followed Sam into the house, then sat through the session between her parents and Sam, in which Elena and Nicholas laid down the laws in their home. Respect for one another was paramount. By taking off without letting anyone know, Sam had violated the rule. She’d worried the family and had to be punished.
Shockingly, Sam had taken the punishment well, reinforcing what Ari already thought-the young girl was looking for proof that Elena and Nicholas wouldn’t abandon her. By including her in the family rules and punishing her for disobeying, her parents had come through for her.
Thanks to that night’s revelations, Ari could suddenly relate to Sam more than ever. It wasn’t that Ari feared being sent away, but she had always feared being on the outside looking in. Being the twin nobody understood. Being the one who wasn’t a real member of the family because she was too different.
The difference was, Ari had had the support system all along. She’d just been too stubborn, too convinced her way was the best, too high and mighty in her ideals to consider anyone else’s way. And in doing so, she’d closed her family out of her life and out of her heart. And she’d shut herself off from fun, spontaneity, and anything that even remotely resembled Costas chaos. Like Sam, she’d pushed away those who loved her most-her parents, her sister, and now Quinn. But understanding didn’t guarantee that a lifetime’s worth of feelings and habits could change.
Or did it? Quinn let Ari into his room, unsure of why she was there. Sam was safe, and as far as Quinn was concerned, Ari had no reason to visit him now. He shut the door behind her, then leaned against the wall, arms folded, and waited. The ball was in her court.
“Sam’s grounded for the next month.” She shifted on her feet uncomfortably.
“She’s lucky it isn’t the rest of her life,” Quinn muttered.
He’d obviously relaxed her because Ari laughed. “That’ll come if she attempts a stunt like this again. My father’s a huge believer in respect for family, and making them worry the way she did…” Ari treated him to a mock shiver and his gaze was drawn to her breasts in her tight tee.
He groaned. Focusing on what he couldn’t have was pointless. He’d learned that early on in life. What was it about Ari that made him forget all his hard-learned lessons?
“Sam needed them to react and thank God they came through,” Ari continued, oblivious to his inner thoughts. “They acted in Sam’s best interest, not theirs. She must be the first kid in the world who welcomed punishment as a sign of love.”
Quinn nodded. Because he’d been raised in the same type of environment, he understood the teenager’s way of thinking. “If your parents can figure out how to keep her in line, more power to them. I really do think they’ll be good for her.”
He knew this in his gut because he, too, had looked for signs of being cared for. He’d just never found them. Not even with this woman who knew all the right things to say and do, but was too afraid to take the risk and be herself.
Ari shook her head. “For a teenager, Sam said something so profound, it floored me. She said that since my parents always called Spank part of the family and they were giving her away, what if they gave her away next?”
“So this was a test.”
Ari nodded. “One her other foster parents failed.”
He pushed off the wall and strode to the center of the room. “Then bless Elena and Nicholas.”
Ari followed him, getting into his space. “I was so scared before I found her. I’m still scared,” she admitted in a soft, husky voice.
She met his gaze with relief and more in her eyes. But he didn’t know what she wanted from him now. He only knew he sensed a turning point. An honest admission she hadn’t planned in advance and one he wasn’t about to let pass.
“Scared of what?” he asked, his hands clenched at his sides. All his self-control went into not touching her, not reaching out, not pulling her into his arms.
He refused to make that kind of move, which to him was the equivalent of a commitment, before he could trust her more.
“I was worried that something would happen to you during this whole… Damon mess,” she whispered, waving her hand around the room, obviously not convinced she could trust that the place had been debugged.
Smart girl, he thought, respecting her intelligence. But it was her heart he was more interested in at the moment.
He stepped closer, closing the already small space between them. “Why?” he asked, prepared to push her hard. “Why are you so worried about me?”
His heart beat a rapid beat inside his chest, and the fear she spoke about threatened to suffocate him. Inside he was still a little boy craving love and acceptance. He’d never allowed himself to expect it, never trusted another human being to give it unconditionally, without reservation. And most of all, he’d never believed anyone would ever invest in Quinn Donovan for the long haul. But despite his well-built walls, Ari had breached them, and he hoped like hell she didn’t let him down now.
She stared at him defiantly, obviously fighting some inner turmoil she kept well hidden. “Because I care about you and you damn well know it,” she said, then clamped her jaw shut tight. Her eyes opened wide as she realized what she’d just admitted.
Quinn would have liked more. But for now it was enough. He pulled her against him and closed his mouth over hers.
She didn’t argue, didn’t fight her feelings; instead he felt the moment she relaxed and gave in to what her body wanted. And Quinn was smart enough to know he only had this one time to convince her she couldn’t leave him behind and go on with her life as if they had never been.
• • •
Ari awoke with a renewed spirit. Quinn slept beside her and she found comfort in his body heat and the knowledge that she lay safe in his bed. So much had seemed to tilt and shift in such a short time. She had Sam to thank for testing and proving the power of her family’s love. Though Ari had a long way to go before she understood them completely, her heart was now open to trying harder.
But most importantly, she had Quinn to thank for expressing a love of an entirely different kind. Not in words but in gestures and emotions and in a distinctive way she couldn’t mistake. He’d made love to her, so she couldn’t help but feel the connection between them. One she desperately wanted to believe in.
But fears and questions remained. She couldn’t forget how easily he’d blended in and accepted her family. A family she wasn’t anything like. Yet Quinn had tried to bring out that more outgoing, sex
y, and fun woman he called Ari. But what of Professor Costas? Even without the suits, Ariana was still a part of her personality. Her soul. Could Quinn accept all of her?
Or once again would she be the outsider with a broken heart, longing for something she didn’t understand and couldn’t have?
The sound of her cell phone pulled her away from her thoughts. She leaned over and pulled it out of her purse, hoping not to wake Quinn. “Hello?” she asked softly.
“Good morning, Ariana. It’s Bill Riley,” said a deep, familiar voice.
“Well, hello yourself,” Ari said to the chairman of the Psychology Department at her school. Despite her thoughts, she wasn’t ready to talk to anyone from Vermont. His voice brought stressful tension she didn’t welcome.
“I called your parents’ house. I’m so sorry to hear there’s been no word on your twin. It’s dreadful, it really is.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, the guilt rising in her chest.
“I’m calling because I need to know if and when you plan on returning. Not only because we all miss you, but because I need to work on your replacement’s schedule. Of course I understand it’s a difficult decision and I’m sorry to put you on the spot,” he said with his characteristic mix of academia and caring.
Ari swallowed hard. She knew she’d have to face this decision sometime. “I need some more time here.” She pushed herself up in bed and found Quinn staring at her, his expression closed but curiosity evident in his compelling gaze.
“But you’ll finish the semester yourself? The kids miss you and there’s nobody who teaches with the same flair.”
Ari licked her suddenly dry lips. Since when did Professor Costas, in her dark suits and pulled-back hair, do anything with flair? “Of course I’ll be back,” she said, eager to end this conversation.
When she had come home, she’d planned on returning to Vermont as soon as she found her sister. Now the thought of leaving her family-and Quinn-behind wasn’t as appealing. “I’ll call you when I know more,” she promised Bill. “Probably the middle of next week.”
By then Zoe would have returned and she would have had more time with her family. Deciding about her permanent future would have to wait until she was more sure herself of where she wanted to be. Where she was welcome and wanted-as the complete combination of both Ari and Ariana, she thought.
Quinn watched as Ari turned off the phone and replaced it in her purse by the side of the bed. He’d awakened to the sweet sound of her voice, remembered the intimacy between them last night, and then had his heated memories and hopes shattered by her words. Of course I’ll be back, she’d said. He had no doubt she was talking about Vermont.
Which meant she’d be leaving again. Just like he thought. Just like he should have known all along. Didn’t everybody in his life walk sooner or later?
“Who was that?” he asked, his voice sounding calmer than he felt.
“Bill Riley. He heads the Psych Department at the university.” Ari brushed her hair out of her eyes.
He tried not to be affected by her full lips and disheveled, I-just-had-sex look, but failed. “Must be important for him to call so early.”
She glanced at the clock and laughed. “It’s nearly eleven. Actually it was important. He’s got a colleague subbing for me and he wanted to know how long I’d be gone so he could arrange the schedule.”
“And you told him you’d be back.” Needing distance, he rose from the bed.
“Well, I have to finish the semester…” Her voice trailed off.
“Of course you do. Just like I have to be downstairs.” So far this case was falling into place, but he never assumed anything was complete until it was time to walk away.
Being back on the job now would give him something to focus on other than the fact that he’d nearly let himself be suckered into believing he had a future with Ariana.
She didn’t say a word when, seconds later, he closed himself in the bathroom for a quick shower, all the while instructing himself to ignore the confused expression on her face and the wounded look in her eyes.
He was the one who’d taken a sucker punch this morning, not her. He’d put everything on the line for a woman and a future, in an ultimate gamble he was obviously destined to lose.
• • •
Alone in Quinn’s hotel room, Ari sat stunned by Quinn’s abrupt shift in mood from when they’d gone to bed last night to when they’d woken up this morning. She supposed he was shaken by her phone conversation, but so was she. When Ari was with Quinn, Vermont was the last thing on her mind, and that was a notion she knew she had to explore further. But first he had to finish this situation with Damon, just as Ari had unresolved family issues waiting for her when her sister came home.
Which reminded her, she needed to contact the man who was interested in taking Spank. Though she’d found him via the Internet, she’d called an old friend from high school who’d become a private investigator and he’d looked into the man’s background. Michael Peters was an animal trainer who specialized in monkeys. He was based in New Jersey and met all the requirements for owning an exotic pet-which meant he met most of Ari’s requirements. He lived close enough that Sam could visit. His resumé even said he’d owned the monkey on the television show Friends before moving from L.A. If his references checked out, he’d make a good parent for Spank, and Ari felt responsible not just for Sam’s emotional well-being but also for the monkey’s future.
She dug through her purse but couldn’t find the page she’d printed with Peters’s information. When, after her shower, she looked for her lip gloss and couldn’t find that either, she remembered dropping her purse in Damon’s office, and headed downstairs to reclaim her things. After the chilly reception this morning, she only hoped she didn’t run into Quinn.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Quinn had a splitting headache and he was in a foul mood. Putting Ari out of his mind wasn’t as easy as he’d hoped. She popped into his head when Quinn was checking on the restaurants, when he fired a hotel employee for stealing bath soap, and now again while he studied the monitors in Damon’s office.
The one bright spot was that his superiors on this job had just called in with the news-on consecutive Thursdays, the balance of the money from the counting-room tapes didn’t match the books. They had enough evidence to take Damon in and enough to obtain a warrant to search the office and seize its contents. As long as they had Damon in custody first.
Otherwise they feared someone on the inside would tip him off and he’d disappear, something they couldn’t afford. They needed Damon to roll over on the boys whose money he was laundering, the drug dealers whose cash he turned into legitimate dough. Then they’d not only take Damon down but take drugs off the streets and away from kids. Susceptible kids, like Sam. And before Quinn left undercover work behind for good, he wanted to know he’d had a hand in something that big.
He strode into the offices for what he hoped was one of the last times, and a sense of déjà vu hit him hard.
A dark-haired woman was standing by Damon’s desk, confidential information in her hand. Last time it had been casino financials; this time it was information on Zoe. Quinn had pulled the files from the safe earlier. Files chock-full of the information gleaned from whatever digging Damon had done on Ari’s sister. The only reason those pages would be incriminating for Damon was because it showed his interest in a supposedly missing woman, but Quinn had planned to give the papers to the feds in order to protect Zoe’s identity from prying eyes.
Last time it had been Zoe snooping around; this time it was Ari. At least Damon hadn’t discovered her here. Quinn didn’t care how close to finished this case was, she had no right to be in this office when he wasn’t around and no reason to be sticking her pretty nose into his business.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Quinn asked.
Ari turned around fast. Obviously stunned, her eyes opened wide, her cheeks flushed, and her hand flew to her chest. “You
startled me.”
“Answer my question. What the hell are you doing in here, with private papers in your hands, no less?” He stepped closer, meaning to scare her.
“I’d like an answer to that as well.”
This time Quinn was startled as Damon walked into the room, his early return taking Quinn off guard.
Ari opened and then closed her mouth, probably unsure which angry man to deal with first. In her eyes, he saw how petrified she was by Damon’s return.
She had every right to be scared, Quinn thought, turning to his boss. “What are you doing back so early? Lover’s quarrel?” he asked.
Damon wasn’t amused and his lips pulled into a thin, narrow line. “I cut my trip short because a smart man trusts no one.”
Though Quinn had heard that line many times before, never had it sounded so ominous. “Trouble in paradise?” Quinn asked, still attempting to keep things light as he figured out the other man’s agenda.
Damon shrugged. “Cynthia wanted to see where I worked.”
“I thought you went with Roxanne?”
“She had a family emergency and had to fly home. Cynthia wanted to see my family jewels.” Damon gestured around the casino but the double entendre was obvious.
“I see,” Quinn said. “And once you got here, you gave her some cash to play with and told her you’d see her later?” he said, using Damon’s standard M.O. He obviously hadn’t given the woman a tour or someone would have informed Quinn he was back. Over the weekend, the influx of new guests had included undercover federal agents.
“Exactly. And then I came here to check on you, and what do I find? That one twin is no better than the other.” He shook his head. “You disappoint me, Professor Costas. I thought you were smarter.”
Ari sucked in a loud breath at the realization that Damon probably hadn’t forgotten he’d found her in his private domain.
“You’re wrong, boss. This one’s just a bored professor.” He jerked a thumb toward Ari. “Just look at her pathetic attempt to fit the part of the sexy siren.” He snorted in disgust. “She’s nothing like her twin.”
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