by Thorn, Ava
“If we continue to stay together it would only be a disaster and we will tear each other part. Our hopes and expectations for each other are gone. I’m not saying this to hurt, because I would never want to hurt you.”
“You not even giving it a chance to work,” Natalie screamed at him. “I made a mistake of leaving but I want to stay with you.”
“If you love me like you said you did Nat-loyalty and commitment wouldn’t have sent you running to another man’s bed. Our love is tainted by so many variables and we can’t recover. I promise you one day you will find that love again.”
Natalie ran to him and wrapped her arms around his waist and sobbed into his chest. “Just give us another chance.”
“Shh, please don’t cry.” Hank looked down into her green eyes. These were the eyes he couldn’t wait to wake up to in the morning. “I pray that one day you will find that selfless love.”
Natalie moved away from him and took a look at the paper. “I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face,” she cried hysterically.
“I’m the one who’d been cheated on not you! Don’t act like the victim.” Hank face became red as he raised his voice. “Remember you, Natalie, you, walked out and said ‘I don’t love you anymore,’ what do you want me to do?”
“I want another chance,” she begged.
“It’s a clean slate for the both of us, we don’t have any children holding us together.” He stared at the paper that would dissolve his marriage. “You said before you waltzed out of here that you didn’t love me and now that I think about it... but I know right now as we both stand here…I know you don’t love me.”
Natalie opened her mouth and closed it. “I’m better for you; I refused to believe that she is good for you.”
There was this calm that was settling over them as they looked at each in the eyes. “This is not about Kari; it’s about me and you… As a husband who once loved you, I must let you go.”
“You’re not leaving me for her!”
“I’m leaving you the cabin in Montana, you can sell it do whatever you want with it. When we got married you signed a prenuptial agreement with an infidelity clause.”
“What are you talking about!” she shrieked. “Three years! I loved you and I get a few thousand dollars and a shack in Montana!”
Hank knew that Natalie wouldn’t see this as a good parting gift.
“You think I’m going to walk away with these small peanuts you’re throwing at me when your girlfriend is sitting on a gold mine? You will see me in court,” Natalie said. Snatching her phone up from the counter and storming to the bedroom, Hank cringed when he heard the door slam shut.
***
Kari’s stomach was full of butterflies as she watched the man who cheated and broke her two years ago smoothly stroll into the front door of K-Design. This was the first time they would be in the same room since she ran out of his condo in tears. Sam Russell eyes were glued to hers as he carried a beautiful bouquet of bright colored flowers.
Surprisingly, the thought of buying a voodoo doll that resembled him didn’t come to mind and the faint sting of a broken heart didn’t happen. Sam was still the handsome man who looked like he was ready for an editorial shoot in GQ magazine.
“Hi.” Sam’s voice was low and deep as he stood in front of her, his lips twitched as he bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“Hello,” she replied in a tight voice and accepted the bouquet of flowers. “Have a seat.”
After Sam took a seat in the chair across from her, Kari nervously tapped her pen along a stack of papers. She didn’t know what to say to this man, who was now a stranger to her. “So,” he said, looking around the studio. “This is nice.”
“Thanks,” she said, tapping the pen rapidly against the desk now. “You told Corey, you wanted to talk to me…you’re here.” Kari looked up, making eye contact with Sam. The feeling of confusion pushed it way into her heart, but what did anyone expect; this was the man she thought was her forever. For two years she picked up the pieces of her busted ego. She didn’t understand why he wanted to talk now. Kari didn’t want to hug him or exchange pleasantries with the person who burned her.
“You always talked about working for your grandfather’s architecture design firm, surprisingly, little Ms. Kari Hayes opened her own design studio.” His eyes sparkled as he acknowledged her accomplishment. “I’m really proud of you.”
“What?” Kari put the pen down and smirked. “Sam, did you come 2500 miles to check out my small design studio? Or did you want me to decorate the house you plan to purchase with your new bride?”
“How long has it been?” Sam reached across the desk and tried to take Kari’s hand into his. “Almost two years?”
“It’s been two years.” Kari pulled her hand away from his reach; she peered over to the desk from hers, where Corey would normally be sitting at, wishing he would hurray back. “How you been?”
“Okay,” he shrugged. She didn’t really care how the hell he was doing with his life. “I missed you, you know.” He cleared his throat, so that she looked at him. “You left and we weren’t able to talk. You just moved away.”
“Yeah,” she looked away, her lips tight. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know why.”
“I wasn’t allowed to explain myself.”
The corner of Kari’s lips pulled back in a sneer. “Explain what!” she exclaimed interrupting him. “How you were using me for money! I was nothing to you but a fucking dollar sign! So excuse me if I’m not happy to see you.”
Sam grimaced. “I deserved that, but you need to understand why.”
Putting her hand to her chest she laughed. “Do you really comprehend what you did to me? We…I fell in love with you…We were planning a life together and to have babies! Only for the relationship I thought we had was built on a gimmick, you and that bitch methodically had a goal to use me.”
“Let me explain, dammit.” Sam said giving her a wistful look.
The day she caught Sam cheating with Mariah and overhearing their scheme was like a one, two punch that was strong enough to force the air entirely out her lungs. Right there in the hallway of his apartment she wanted the floor to open up underneath and swallow her whole. That night she sat in an airport questioning everything about her relationship with Sam. Every time she stared into a mirror and doubted herself, she would try to find any justification for her to warrant a man like him. For two years she dissected every piece of herself.
“I was going to marry you for money until I fell in love with you.” Sam stood up and began to pace in front of the desk. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“All cheaters say that,” Kari rolled her eyes. “I don’t even understand why you wanted to see me, you’re like a criminal who returning to the scene of crime. Instead, you’re the freaking heart stealer and dream crusher.”
“I’m a good man now,” he pleaded with her just to listen to him. “I can’t stop thinking about you and what I did. I’m getting married and all I can think about is you.”
Kari scoffed at the idea of Sam thinking about her two years later. “What did you come here for?”
“To say I’m sorry.”
Kari’s father’s voice echo in her head, ‘It takes a hell of a person with a big heart to accept an apology after experiencing the ultimate betrayal.’ “I forgive you,” she said simply.
“I hurt you in the worst way.”
“Ha! Did you just wake up and miraculously realize that?” she laughed. “Your actions have left me with a deep wound that hurt regardless of how many times you apologized they would still be there.”
“I genuinely fell in love with you Kari-”
Kari shook her head. “You damaged me by playing with my emotions and breaking my trust…I said I forgave you for leaving me emotionally disable…it took me a while to ‘get over’ it but I did.”
Sam sat back down in the seat he vacated moments ago. “Have you?” he asked in a worried voice that w
as all too familiar to Kari.
“I’m thankful that I have the scars of my first love. A person asked me what if I learned something from my past love. I have to be more careful with how and who I give my love to. Most of all, I learned how to love myself more and except people for who they are.” Kari stood up quickly and almost fell, Sam was right there to catch her. “Thanks,” she said, struggling to move away from him.
“You’re welcome,” he murmured, straighten her back on her feet.
“You made me feel loved even if it was for a short period of time. Some people don’t have the chance to feel love or even loose love before they are taken away,” she said softly. “That heartache was something I needed.”
Sam’s eyes became doleful, as time stood still around them he reached up and caressed the side of her face. “I regretted every bit of it. I tried my hardest to get the memories of us out my mind,” he chuckled uneasy. “I still love you, and I still need you and the thought of marrying someone else that isn’t you tears at me. Inch by inch.” He lowered his face to hers before stealing a kiss. “I want you back,” he said against her mouth.
Kari pulled away from him; she didn’t feel the fireworks or see stars that occurred when Hank kissed her. “I’m already gone.”
Sam stepped back and stared at her unblinkingly.
“I’m in love with someone else and even if I wasn’t I still wouldn’t want to date you,” She started to say when the door ding open. She had to look back two times to see if her eyes weren’t playing a trick on her. Hank McBride walked through the door wearing blue jeans, a black button down shirt with a cowboy hat to match.
***
Hank arrived at K-designs carrying a bouquet of roses. The door dinged as he walked into the building, his eyes traveled to Kari who was talking to a dapper black-white man dress to the nines. Her eyes met his briefly and went back to talking to the man.
“I’m just in time.” Corey walked in behind Hank.
Hank ignored Corey as he made a beeline to Kari and the man who appeared to be smitten with her.
“I can take you until she’s ready to see you,” Corey said, steering him towards a desk that was out of hearing and eyesight to the one Kari normally sat at. His eyes were glue on her that he nearly walked into another desk. Was that her type? A businessman who looked like he worked for a fortune 500 company. They never talked about money, he knew she was from it and he wasn’t. He was asking himself a question that he should have asked her months ago.
“Who is that?” he said in a low voice, enough for Corey to hear.
“Oh, that’s Sam Russell, he’s Kari ex-fiancé. Don’t they make a great couple?” Corey looked beyond Hank and stared dreamily at the man with Kari.
Hank cleared his throat.
Corey turn his attention back to Hank. “How may I help you today, Mr. Jackson? By the look of you walking in carrying those damn roses must be meaning that the woman you left my best friend for didn’t pan out.”
“It’s between Kari and me.”
“Nope,” Corey said, getting bugged eyed. “My best friend was fucking hurt because your jolly green giant ass didn’t know what you wanted. There is no way I’m allowing you to hurt her again.”
“I’m going to say this one more damn time-It’s not of your goddamn business,” Hank said as his muscle twitch in his jaw. “Do we need a recap of what happened last week?”
Corey gulped. “I will defend my friend no matter what and you don’t’ scare me.”
“What the hell is going on?” Kari asked, refusing meeting eye contact with him, instead she looked at Corey.
“I was telling this piece of shi-” Corey started to say.
“Let’s not pretend like I can’t snap your tiny ass like a twig.” Hank glared at the man.
Kari sat on the edge of the desk, folded her arm and gazed up at Hank for the first time since he left her a week ago. “Corey, go home.”
Corey looked at Kari like she’d lost her mind. “Girl, are you sure? I just got back.”
“Yes,” she replied. Corey grabbed his tote bag, and started to walk towards the front door but stop and turned to look at Hank. “If you hurt her, I will hurt you.”
“I will hurt myself before I hurt Kari,” he said, looking at her.
“Whatever,” Corey snapped, putting on his sunglasses and leaving.
“Do you want me to leave?” Sam asked, sizing Hank up.
“Yeah you can,” Hank answered for her. “I’d much appreciate it if you don’t come around here no more.”
“Who the hell?” Sam was a bold fellow, as he stepped closer. “I wasn’t asking you I was asking Kari if she wanted me to leave.”
“Yes I do,” Kari spoke up. “Have a nice life.”
“Are you sure?” the man asked. The question seemed like he was hinting more about her personal life more than her wellbeing.
Kari nodded her head yes.
“Okay,” he said, and hesitantly gave her hug before walking out the door.
The two of them stood there alone staring at one another. He didn’t know where to start at or what to say. Everything he’d rehearsed went out the window when he stepped into her place of business.
“Kari,” he started to say, only to receive the hand from her.
“I told you my secret and every truth about me. You knew my flaws. I made you my best friend…and you broke my heart. I searched high and low for a man like you; charming, loving and sincere.” Kari moved away from him when he took a few steps closer to her. “I forgive you and I wish you and her the best.”
“I came to tell you that it’s over between Natalie and me.” Hank wanted to reached out and touch her, wanted to feel her back in his arms. “I already filed for divorce, just waiting for her signature…I wish I could take back what I did, but seeing you leaving made me realize how beautiful our love is and how much you mean to me.”
Kari gasped and covered her mouth with her hand as she watched Hank get down on a bended knee.
“Kari, my life is fuller and richer because of you; some people search their whole life to find the love I found in you. I need and want you by my side. I’m completed with you, I don’t need anyone else because you are all that I need.” Reaching into his jean pockets, Hank pulled out a flawless diamond wedding ring.
“No,” she shook her head, going over to her desk she sat down. Closing her eyes Kari exhaled the breath she was holding since Hank got on his keens.
“Sugar, turn around and look at me.”
She could feel him standing behind her. “I have a lot of work to do,” Kari replied.
“Can you just talk to me?”
“What am I supposed to say! This is not some happily ever after movie where you can leave me and come back and think that all is fucking well because it’s not. Just because you get on your knees and asked me to marry you don’t mean shit to me.”
Turning around the swivel chair, he kneeled down. “I don’t expect you to understand-”
“You’re damn right. Skippy,” she said rolling her eyes. “I still love you don’t get me wrong…I’ve been through a lot with love; discourage, sadness and I can’t experience that right now.”
“Kari, love is exciting, scary, magical and addictive. When I’m with you I don’t want the time to end. Yes, I was legally married when I met you, and I’m currently going through a messy divorce.” He cradled her face in his hands. “But let’s get one thing straight, I never intended on following in love with you and somehow we did.”
Kari pushed him away; she couldn’t stand to be near him. “Can you please just go?”
“Have you ever met a person that brought you to life? You did that every night I fell asleep with you and waking up to your naked body as the sun peeked through the curtains. I could have laid there forever with you.”
“Leave.”
“The divorce papers have been filed and Natalie has been served.”
Kari’s laughed hysterically. “You’re so fuck
ing delusional if you think that Natalie is going to sign some papers and walked peacefully away.”
“She will sign the papers,” he tried to assure her, trying to take a step towards her only for her to step backwards.
“Proposing to me while you still married!” She shook her head in disbelief.
Hank swiftly walked towards Kari and pulled her roughly to him. “Darling, you wasn’t saying that when I had you screaming each and every night.”
Kari reached for the bouquet of roses and hit Hank repeatedly.
Hank threw his hands up, trying to shield himself from roses with thorns. “Honey,” snatching the painful roses from her, he hugged her tightly in his arms.
His soothing voice tried to penetrate the hurt in her heart. Hank’s words were comforting, slowly chipping away the walls she built a few days ago. Kari cried, shook and shivered in his arms. The anger, shame and the sense of powerless took over again. “It’s not easy letting go.”
He felt her body relax, her arms dropped from around his waist. She was releasing him, he thought.
“I need to.” She stepped back and wiped her eyes. “All my life I’ve been stumbling, learning and growing.”
“We don’t need to let go of anything.”
“I can’t just forgive and think that nothing happened between us last month.” Kari sighed running her fingers through her hair. “We need to let go for right now just for this moment, it doesn’t mean forever.”
Hank knew he could stand there and beg Kari and tell her how he would never break her heart again. “We have a lot of problems but I know if we just agreed to work on them together everything will be okay.”
“It won’t.” She bit her bottom lip. “We will eventually sweep around the matter that I no longer trust you, we will get married after you divorce, be happy for a few years, have babies and bam. We will realize there is a lot of problems existing in our marriage and we will divorce too.”
Hank wanted to tell Kari she was wrong but he couldn’t. He would have to show her that he was indeed worthy of her love. Just by her standing there and acknowledging how much had changed between them in so little time. “You’re right,” he sighed, looking defeated. “The fights will get louder and uglier. Hurling insults that will leave lasting scars.”