Lasting Damage

by Isabelle Aren

  “I’d already be dressed if it wasn’t for all the distractions.” She crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her gaze at Alice, who appeared to be trying to fade into the bedroom wall. “Lily? Do you think you could do me a favor?

  “Sure,” she nodded.

  “Can you please get Alice the out of here before I kill her?” She asked, stepping back to let Lily grab hold of her snotty little sister’s arm to lead her out of the room.

  *****

  Harper wasn’t sure what to do with herself.

  Lily had let her in and left her standing in the living room only to return a few moments later with Alice following right behind. Neither one of them said a word but Lily’s face looked dark with anger and Alice appeared to be smirking. After that Lily grabbed her purse off the couch and she forced Alice out the front door with no further explanation.

  It was several moments of awkward standing and wondering before she caught sight of Jane’s bedroom door opening and then her pulse started racing as Jane came into view.

  She was dressed in…well, Harper wasn’t sure if it was a very short dress or a long shirt and she didn’t really care because all she could think about was that Jane Hollis had a set of legs that went on forever.

  “Is it that bad?” Jane asked as she tugged at the hem of her dress. “I know it’s a little-”

  “It’s perfect,” Harper interrupted. “You look absolutely perfect.”

  “You don’t look so bad yourself.” Jane closed the distance between them in seconds. “I was worried that I was going to be too tall in these shoes.”

  “You think I’d let you be taller than me?” Harper straightened the cuffs of her jacket. “Height equals power and a really love these boots.”

  Jane smiled and pointed to Harper’s feet. “Jeffery Campbell?”

  “You know your boots.” She nodded.

  “Stacked heel.” Jane reached out to run her hand over the lapel of Harper’s jacket. “And this is great. You clean up nice.”

  “So, you approve of my grand gesture?” Harper smiled.

  Jane met her eyes briefly before averting her eyes, the smile she wore so brightly a moment before, flagged and she was left looking sad and lost.

  “What’s wrong?” Harper put her hand over Jane’s hand and held it to her chest. “Hey, what just happened?”

  Jane pressed her other hand to her forehead and let out a nervous little laugh. “I’m not sure?”

  Harper felt a fast wave of panic. She didn’t know if she’s said anything or leered too lasciviously and freaked Jane out, but she wanted to fix whatever was wrong immediately. “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t want to go to that stupid party,” Jane whispered. “I know we’re both dressed up but I’d like to change my mind about the whole thing.”

  “Can I ask why?” Relief replaced anxiety. Things might now be going as smooth as she’d hoped but she needed to know if it was something she’d said.

  Or something she hadn’t said.

  “I’m not sure,” Jane stammered nervously. “You probably think I’m nuts but going there just feels like I’m feeding something I don’t want to feed. I can’t explain it.”

  “Feelings are tricky things.” Harper assured her before gathering her courage and asking the mature question. “Do you want me to leave?”

  “No,” Jane said, shaking her head. “I don’t want you to leave. I want us to leave but I don’t want to go to Sarah’s and I don’t want to stay here. I can’t stand being here right now.”

  “Dinner and a movie?” She tucked a finger under Jane’s chin and lifted her face to face so she could peer into her eyes. “Pizza and a beer?”

  Jane gave her a sweet smile before lowering her eyelashes and nodding. She looked relieved. “There’s a place on Brackett Street that makes the best pizza in town. It’s across the street from the liquor store where they sell growlers of microbrew.”

  “And we’ll go back to the apartment?” Harper asked, they’d need a place to eat the pizza and beer. “Unless you have something else in mind?”

  “Sounds like a plan.” She bit her bottom lip and grimaced. “But can we not tell Riley I’m over there? I like spending time with my brother but I’m not in the mood to explain this dress.”

  “Speaking of that dress.” As much as she liked the idea of spending the evening alone with Jane she decided she needed to give her another option.

  Jane eyes shone for a brief second with what looked like tears before she blinked them away. “Yes?”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to go out and show it off?” Harper practically had to force the words past her lips and she hoped Jane shared her reticence to go out bar hopping, but she was prepared to stand by any offer she made.

  “The only person I wanted to see this dress has already seen it.” Jane touched her index finger to Harper’s forehead and swept her hair away from her face. “That’s showing off enough for me.”

  10.

  The apartment over Riley’s recording studio was one of Jane’s favorite places on Earth. There were shelves filled with books, vintage prints decorated the walls and everyone who passed through seemed to leave behind some small token that looked as if it had always been there. Jane had been known to spend the occasional weekend holed up when Riley was out of town and needed a house sitter, so forgoing the party to hang out there with Harper was a treat.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.” Jane grabbed the pizza box and flipped the top. “What remains to be seen is if I answer your question.”

  “Is this still a date?”

  “Still?” Jane slid a slice on both plates and handed one to Harper before setting out the glasses for beer. No matter what she did in her life, or where she went, she always managed to position herself as the one who served the food and alcohol. It probably wasn’t in her DNA, but it felt like it most of the time. “What do you mean?”

  “We changed our plans. Before we were going on a date and now we’re eating pizza.” Harper shrugged. “I just wondered if this still counted as an official date?”

  “Well,” Jane paused to crack open the growler and pour them each a glass of lager. “We’re together and we’ve got a drink, so that’s like having a date at a bar. We’ve also got food and we’re sitting at a table that neither one of us own, so that’s like being in a restaurant. Now, as far as I know, bars and restaurants are common places where people go on dates so it would seem that we are on a date.”

  “Do you think your friends will be mad that you’re not at their housewarming party?”

  “I texted Sarah and told her I wasn’t coming,” Jane picked at the small chunks of bacon that fell off her slice and stated piling them back on. “She was fine with it.”

  “Are you?” Harper’s face was serious, her voice heavy with concern.

  “Observing Robin and Sarah in full nesting mode isn’t my idea of a good time.” The moment she admitted it Jane felt a heavy weight moved off her shoulders. “I don’t think I could stand to take one more happy-house tour. I don’t know about you but I’ve seen way too many family rooms and future nurseries.”

  “Should I assume you don’t want one of those happy-houses? Or a future nursery?”“ Harper asked with more keen interest than Jane was able to process at the moment.

  “Don’t assume anything about me.” Jane responded.

  “So you want kids?”

  “I’m undecided,” she answered. “The world seems filled to capacity and I’m not particularly maternal so I’m leaning in the ‘no kid’ direction but I reserve the right to change my mind.”

  “Having the freedom to travel and own nice things that don’t get trashed are also big incentives to staying childfree.” Harper added, much to Jane’s relief since women who were in a wild rush to track down the perfect sperm donor the instant they got in a relationship was a huge turn-off.

  Jane, desperate for a change of subject, pointed to the keyboard on the ot
her side of the living room. “Is that yours?”

  Harper nodded and took a drink of her beer.

  “I wondered what you played,” said Jane.

  “I’m also a classically trained cellist.” Harper put her glass down before shrugging out of her jacket and tossing it onto the couch. “I got accepted to Julliard but decided to go to Berkley instead.”

  “What made you change your mind about Julliard?”Jane remarked and kicked off her shoes. She figured it her date was going to get comfortable then she was too. The only real problem was that she was stuck in the super short dress that made her nervous.

  Harper began rolling up her shirt sleeves “I didn’t want to end up in the orchestra pit.”

  “And then you made the moved to dream-pop?”

  “Did you wiki me?” Harper grinned.

  “It’s possible.” Jane shrugged, she knew she would have a hard time pulling off disinterest for very long, but she tried to keep up appearances for a few more minutes.

  “I picked up some session work one summer,” Harper paused to top off her glass of beer. “I knew someone, who knew someone, who had a spot on an upcoming Hotel Costas compilation and were looking to add a little atmosphere.”

  “And nothing says atmosphere like the cello.” Jane interjected.

  “Exactly,” said Harper. “One I got into the studio I never wanted to leave. I liked the production process and Max Cori was doing the remix on the track. She and I sorta hooked up and the rest was history.”

  “You and Max Cori?” Jane had to admit she felt a jealousy and awe in equal amounts. Max Cori was her favorite teenage crush and she’d never stopped getting a thrill out of listening to her music. “Was this like a thing-thing or just a work-thing?”

  “I used to be a hardcore fan of Kill Kitty, Thrill Kitty when I was a kid so there was no way I wasn’t going to let her seduce me.” Harper grin morphed into a full-blown smirk. “First it was just a working relationship but then she kept finding reasons to call me back into the studio.”

  “Why do I get the feeling that I’m feeding your ego?” Jane broke off a chunk of pizza and popped it into her mouth.

  “Because you are.” Harper’s shoulders shook with pent up laughter but her smile stayed the same.

  “Is that why you’re smiling at me?” asked Jane.

  “No,” Harper said and took another drink of her beer. “I smile because I like looking at you.”

  Jane felt her face go flush and a little shiver race down her spine as soon as Harper spoke the words. “That’s a nice compliment.”

  “It’s not a compliment.” Harper told her. “It’s the truth.”

  “Even better, but what I wonder is if you and I have an expiration date?” Jane figured that if she was going to dive into the pool of ultimate rejection she might as well shoot for the deep end. “It’s sort of this sticking point in the back of my head that I keep trying to avoid thinking about.”

  Harper nodded, brought the beer to her lips and took a slow, thoughtful drink. “Because I don’t live around here?”

  “That’s part of it.”

  “What’s the other part?” asked Harper.

  “You going on tour,” she paused to look down at her slice of pizza. “It’s the giant inevitability I can’t see a way around.”

  “There are ways around any inevitability if you’re willing to be creative.”

  “I know, planes and hotels and Skype and international phone plans.” Jane listed off all the tools people used to prop up a long distance relationship but she none of them sounded like a decent solution. She liked skin-to-skin contact too much to enjoy pretending that she was satisfied with staring into a computer screen to make her professions of love. “When I was young, really young, my parent’s didn’t have to tour year round. They could take time off, have side projects and really mess around in the recording studio but the whole thing changed and suddenly they had to tour constantly.”

  “People stopped buying albums,” Harper set her elbows on the island, crossing one arm over the other. “They buy the singles that chart but if you want real money you have to tour nonstop. It sucks but it’s the reality of the situation.”

  “I think that it’s one of the reasons my mom changed her career focus. She’s all about this autobiography and TV appearances and her new career as Britain’s newest reality star.” She took a sip of her beer and tried not to think of how much she disliked her mother but it was difficult. The woman had yet to do anything that made her a likable human. “It’s really gross, but she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life on the road and I don’t blame her.”

  “I take it you’re not a fan of reality stardom?” Harper laughed.

  “Chloe’s mom is on one of those shows. She’s one of the original ‘Real Wives of someplace I can’t name’. Chloe’s biological dad owns one California’s biggest porn production companies and her mom married some plastic-surgeon to-the-stars. All three of them have their own show and Chloe had to run all the way to Maine to get away from it.” Jane shook her head and stared across the room. “So, no, I don’t have a whole lot of respect for people who exploit their families to earn their fifteen minutes of fame.”

  Harper eyed her carefully for so long it had Jane squirming in her chair. “Why are you looking at me like that?” She laughed nervously. “It’s freaking me out.”

  “I was just thinking how different you are than most of the people I meet.” Harper shifted in her seat, kicking off her boot before moving her attention to her slice of pizza. “A lot of people seem really desperate to cling to any scrap of fame they can find. It’s become this weird cultural obsession that can be hard to get away from.”

  “Fame, even in small amounts can be very isolating.” She stopped to try and find the words but only ended up stumbling. “I’ve seen good people struggle…”

  “Jane?” Harper placed a hand on her shoulder and held it there until Jane took a breath and let it out.

  “No one wants to end up like Peaches Geldof,” she said quietly. “It’s a tricky balance.”

  “So you stay away from industry people at all costs?”

  “That’s exactly what I do.” Jane’s admission caught her by surprise. “But here I am, dressed up and sharing a bacon pizza with you.”

  “How did that happen?” Harper asked with a gentle laugh.

  Jane put her slice of pizza back down on her plate and played with her napkin for a brief moment before looking up and meeting Harper’s gaze. “You had the prettiest eyes I’ve seen in a long time and I have a serious soft spot for chapstick girls.”

  Harper cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been described as ‘chapstick’ before.”

  “It’s a serious compliment.” Jane assured her.

  “Good to know,” Harper lifted her beer to take a sip and hesitated, her eyes lit up like she was staring at Christmas tree lights. “Does this mean I’m your type?”

  “Oh, you have no idea.” Jane rolled her eyes as a smile spread over her lips. “What happens when we finish this growler?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We’ll both have had too much to drink, and you have this thing about us not sleeping together yet, so I’m just wondering if I should call a cab.”

  “Just because we’re not gonna to have sex doesn’t mean we can’t sleep together.” Harper opened the growler and poured more beer into Jane’s glass. “I don’t know about you but I am more than capable of controlling myself when I really like someone.”

  “So, you only put the hard moves on people you don’t like?” Jane teased. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to interpret that kind of logic.”

  “What if you didn’t interpret anything and you just accepted the fact that I like you?” asked Harper. “I want to do everything right. I want it all to be perfect.”

  “There’s no such thing as perfect.” Jane brought her hand to the collar of Harper’s shirt and traced the edge with the tip of one finge
r. “Perfect isn’t even possible.”

  “I can try.” Harper drew a breath, wrapping one arm around Jane’s waist to guide her off the barstool and pulled her close.

  Jane breath caught in her chest when their bodies made contact. “What happens if you fail?” She inhaled the scent of Harper’s skin, sandalwood and amber, in an instant it was Jane’s favorite smell.

  “I’m not sure.” Harper’s breath, warm and inviting, moved across her cheek and brought a new wave of heat coursing over her skin. “I guess I’ll just have to beg your forgiveness and start all over again.”

  “Or you could kiss me?” Jane suggested as her eyes locked in on Harper’s mouth. It was full and lush and entire irresistible. “Or maybe I should be the one kissing you?”

  Harper stared at her for a second before she slid a hand around the back of Jane’s neck, pulling her as close as two bodies could get with their clothes on, and stilled her with a deep, hard kiss.

  Jane reveled in the feeling of helplessness when Harper hands tightened and held her in place. A moan of pleasure and anticipation built in her throat as Harper opened her mouth with the tip of her practiced tongue and greeted her waiting lips with gentle teasing before pulling away so they could both catch their breath.

  “I’d like more of that,” Jane whispered.

  “So would I,” Harper agreed with a sly grin. “I’m a big fan of kissing and I suggest we spend a few good hours kissing each other just to make sure we know what we’re doing before we fall asleep.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me.” She could not agree more but decided that using her mouth to speak was a waste of perfectly good energy since they had a lot of kissing to get in before bedtime.

  11.

  Harper was in the kitchen trying to answer a text from her tour manager when she heard the unmistakable sound of an incoming text message from the bedroom. She tried to focus on what she was doing but it seemed strange. Jane, barely awake a moment ago, was up and moving, and from the sounds her phone was making, answering her message.