All Roads Lead Home

by Wasowski, Mary

  BY THE TIME our plane had landed in Jackson Hole, it was nearing midnight. I was beyond exhausted. I didn’t sleep on the plane and the past couple of days had not been the easiest ones to endure. Wendy, on the other hand was almost dancing out of the terminal. She received a massage by some therapist she met on the plane. I swear I saw her blush a few times, but she didn’t pay me no mind when I was teasing her about it.

  “So, where do I drop you?”

  “Pardon?” I was surprised by her question.

  “Where do I drop you? Do you want me to drive you out to your parents’ home? Or hotel it for tonight?”

  “Wendy, I can’t believe you are seriously asking me where I would like to stay. It’s the middle of the night, and I just can’t knock on my daddy’s door and yell out, ‘Surprise, the prodigal daughter has returned home to you!’ I don’t want to go to a hotel either. Can I just stay with you tonight, and then I will call my parents in the morning?”

  “Of course you can, Tumbleweed. Figured I would ask before I assume.”

  “Well, you know what they say when people assume.”

  “Watch it. You’re not too old to smack.”

  I let out another sigh in disbelief that I was actually here. Not giving it anymore thought tonight, we collected our luggage and left the airport to Wendy’s home. Her home was beautiful and rustic with the Teton Mountains as her view. They were everyone’s view living up here. I used to ride Jazzy as high as her strong legs would carry me up toward the highest ridge on our ranch. I would lean back on my horse and breathe in the fresh air and feel God’s presence. I was as close as I could be near heaven.

  “Tenley, wake up. We’re here.”

  I slowly opened my eyes and the familiar feeling hit me like an arrow through my chest. I was really home back in Wyoming, and standing in front of Wendy’s home, where I shared many happy times here as a child. It looked exactly the same since the last time I saw it. It’s only snow covered now. Tears were threatening to fall again, but I hampered them down. I was drained, and I had enough reminiscing for one day.

  “The guest room is all set-up for you. Make yourself at home and get some rest,” Wendy said.

  I smiled. So much for asking where I would like to stay. Wendy was always a few steps ahead of us kids growing up, and tonight was no different. I brought my carry-on bag with me and left the rest in the entryway. I wouldn’t be staying here for long, so why unpack? For a brief moment, I had thought I could sneak into town and leave without anyone being the wiser, but once I found out about Jagger, I knew that would not be possible.

  He was all I’d been thinking about since Wendy told me the news about his accident. How and why did his horse just managed to throw him? She never said what horse he was riding, maybe it was not She-devil after all. She loves Jagger, for a horse she had a serious protection over him. Loyal to her rider, She-devil would only allow Jagger on her back. Kind of like how Jazzy treats me, or at least used to. Daddy says she’s in good health, and he keeps her busy on the ranch. He uses her for tours and when the camps are in session.

  For the past couple of years now, daddy changed the vision for the Fairchild Ranch. Once he changed the business dynamic of it, he also added a title underneath the Fairchild name: “Where you learn to ride and fall.” How true that was. He still ran it, but appointed Shane as his manager who oversaw all the ranch business.

  I was surprised when daddy phoned me and asked me to draw up the contracts. He told me that Shane’s father had merged the Rhodes Ranch with ours, and we took over controlling interest. Mr. Rhodes had fallen ill about a year ago and could no longer handle the day to day. It was Shane who convinced him to sell the land to my father, but under the condition that Shane be in charge and take on more responsibility. Both Jagger and Shane earned their degrees and had of a more modern day approach on how to make the ranch more profitable in today’s markets. The last time I checked the quarterly reports, they were doing more than fine.

  Jagger and his father worked the Parrish Ranch together, with Jagger taking on the majority role. As everyone acclimated to the new transition of merging the ranches, Kip Rhodes did get stronger by each passing day. Daddy always said, you can never keep a cowboy down. I only wished that were true for my brother Jamie. I sent flowers to Shane’s mother when I was told of his father’s illness, but respectively stayed away. Shane didn’t need a reminder of his past. It was hard enough knowing I was still a presence in terms of the ranch. We only spoke a few times over the phone in the last five years. It was about ranch business and nothing else. We once loved each other so much as friends, and the few words were spoken were reduced to pleasantries laced with coldness. Kept it simple and to the point, but I could feel he wanted to say more, but he held back. I did the same.

  “I’m going to bed. Can I get you anything before I turn in?” Wendy asked.

  “A hug would be nice.”

  “That I can do. Sleep, sweet girl and don’t worry your overactive brain anymore tonight. Things will look brighter in the morning.”

  I hugged Wendy, and she left me alone to my thoughts. Closing my eyes, he was here in my dreams…Jagger.

  We were picnicking down by the river. My summer vacation was nearly over and I was due back at school the day after tomorrow. We spent every moment possible together. It was always hard saying goodbye to Jagger, but we always looked forward to the next time we could see each other. He didn’t stopped smiling since we arrived. What was he up to? He placed his hands in mine and made me look at him.

  “I love you, Tenley. I have something to show you. It represents how much I love you, and how happy I am to have you in my life.”

  “I love you too, Jagger. What is it? The suspense is killing me.”

  He winked and then began to unfasten the buttons to his shirt. I was clueless to what he was doing until I saw the beautiful words of endearment on his skin:

  Ten, My love…my world.

  He got a tattoo! A permanent marking on his body. I wanted to run my fingers over it, but the skin was fiery red. It looked brand new.

  “Say something. Do you like it?” he asked nervously.

  “I love it, Jagger. How could I not?”

  “It’s true, you know. You are my only love. You are my world. This is just a brief separation for us. Not a day will go by that I don’t look at this tattoo—your own personal marking on my soul—and not feel your love.”

  I had tears in my eyes. Jagger was already prepared for this and quickly wiped them away.

  “Do I have to get one too?” I nervously asked.

  He laughed and kissed me passionately on my lips. His eyes were filled with sparkle as he kissed me.

  He replied, “Not if you don’t want to. I know you’re afraid of needles.”

  “I am! Don’t laugh at me. I probably would have to be sedated before I did something like that. I’m sure my father wouldn’t approve.”

  “No worries, baby. I have other ways I can mark your body.”

  And then Jagger pressed his hardness against me and began marking me slowly with his kisses. First my neck, then down to my breasts. I wanted him and didn’t care if we were caught. I may have not been ready for a tattoo, but I could show him in other ways. I bucked him off and straddled him. I touched his chest, carefully avoiding his tattoo.

  “Lose the pants cowboy. This girl is about to take you for the ride of your life.”

  The next morning, the strong aroma of coffee, bacon, and blueberry pancakes invaded my room and senses. As I opened my eyes, my stomach began to growl. Not even sure when I had my last meal, but I was clearly hungry. I put my robe on and made my way downstairs to the kitchen to find Wendy, whistling as she poured the batter onto the griddle.

  “Good morning. How did you sleep?” She was laying the cheery on a little too thick for my taste.

  “As well as could be expected. Did you sleep? You sure look like you’ve been cooking up enough food here for an army. Cinnamon rolls too? Wendy, we
can’t possibly eat all of this.”

  “No, but our guests will.” Bam! Reality check.

  “Wendy, what did you do?”

  “What’s with the interrogation? You are a long way from New York and a courtroom. I simply invited your parents over for breakfast, which they happily said yes to.”

  “Do they know I’m here? Wendy...” I said very slowly.

  “Yes. Of course they do, I told you that already. Times a wasting! You should shower and dress. I put out some fresh towels for you. Go on now, hop to it.”

  “I can’t believe you. Did you not believe me last night? I said I would call them today.”

  “Well, now you don’t have to, because in ten minutes they will be here. Clock is ticking, Tumbleweed. Better take that shower now.”

  I was beyond angry with her. How much more could I take in a twenty four hour span? First her call, then the letter, a flight home, and now my parents? Dammit! I feel sick to my stomach. This was a mistake. I feel emotionally blackmailed not only by Wendy, but Jamie too.

  I stripped out of my robe and felt like drowning myself under the water. I foolishly allowed my heart and memories to lead me here. It’s too late to worry about it now. I’m here and might as well face the past they all so desperately want me to do.

  First things first, I wanted to see what Roxy packed for me. Yes, she over packed, but gave me exactly what I needed. I don’t know how she found my favorite jeans, but I was so happy I have them with me. These jeans were so soft, I was surprised they still had material to them. The right knee had a hole but frayed with denim. They fit me like a glove, and I matched them up with my white cotton tee and red cowboy boots. I couldn’t even remember the last time I dressed so casual before. I dried my long hair and gave myself a loose braid. A little make-up, and I was good to go.

  I was still deciding how angry I was at Wendy, when I heard whispered voices coming from the kitchen. As best as I could manage, I stayed out of sight to listen. I knew this was an invasion of Wendy’s privacy, but since she lacked the faith in me to call my parents, I felt this was an even exchange.

  I heard my mother’s voice.

  “Wendy, how does she seem? I can’t imagine she’s all too happy with you right now.”

  “Connie, you can’t go back and second guess us now. I made a promise a long time ago to help that girl when the time was right. Well, this is that time. She may think she’s happy living in that big city on her own, but I’m not convinced. Her life is empty. It’s high time for that beautiful girl upstairs to fix what’s broken in her life, and that starts today.”

  WTH! My life is not empty. I have a thriving career. I live in a beautiful apartment which in fact I paid for all on my own. And I have two amazing best friends. How can Wendy tell my parents that my life is empty? God! I feel sick.

  I continued to listen as I heard my father interrupt my mother and Wendy.

  “Wendy, I know my daughter. She may be back home where we all feel she belongs, but I also know she’s happy in New York and no longer considers Wyoming her home. It’s her birthplace, not home.”

  “Hush now, Brock!” Wendy said. “You’re wrong, both of you. You never forget your home. She has forever roots here in Wyoming. This is the one place she will always come back to, no matter what. We all know what drove her away, but now she has a chance to right that mistake. That girl needs a wake-up call, and we three are going to be the ones that give it to her. I know her just as well as you do, maybe even better. I’m sorry, Connie, but I do, and I love her with all of my heart. We have to try to get through to her, and if we fail, then we fail, but at least I will know I did everything I could to keep my promise to your son. Now, enough of this. She’s going to be down any minute. Let’s give her some room and enjoy breakfast.”

  I knew I probably had about thirty seconds before Wendy would call for me. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my beating heart. Daddy always said to never listen in on other folk’s conversations. I wish I hadn’t on this one. I guess if I wanted to find out what the hell was going on, I’d better make my appearance.

  I counted for another thirty seconds and made my way through the kitchen. Through the years and a couple of renovations, one very old creaky kitchen door remained. Wendy could never bear to replace it. It had our growth charts on it. Hand prints from when we found paint and decided to make her door our latest work of art. As hard as it was being here, to look at this door brought back many happy childhood memories for me. Maybe it’s what they were all hoping for. I pushed my way in to find the conspiring trio sipping their coffee. My mother’s eyes lit up at the sight of me. She put her coffee down and rushed over to me. Constance Fairchild could pass for my older sister before my mother. Her skin was flawless with natural beauty. My father resembled a younger Sam Elliott.

  “Oh, baby! I’ve missed you so much,” she said as she hugged me to her.

  “Hi, mama. I’ve missed you too.”

  “Now I know you’re lying, but I’ll believe it anyway.”

  “Mama, I don’t lie. Just like I wasn’t lying when you phoned the other day. I was due in court, and it wasn’t the best time to have a conversation.”

  “Your flowers were beautiful. Thank you very much.”

  Tears were now in her eyes, as she quickly wiped them away.

  She continued, “Thank you for coming home. We’ve missed you so much.”

  “Now, woman, don’t go chasing her back to New York. She’s home, and her daddy wants a hug from his beautiful daughter.”

  “Okay, okay. Go hug your daddy before we see his temper.”

  “I don’t have a temper!” he shouted back and smiled.

  “Sure you don’t,” mama said as she winked at my father.

  I couldn’t help but laugh a bit. My parents had the best banter between them. They never really fought, but it was always entertaining at the same time.

  “Hi, daddy” was all I could say before he swept me up into his arms. My feet were dangling above the floor. As a child, I viewed him as a giant. And now in his arms, I kind of still do. I tightened my arms around his neck and let my reunion with my parents set in.

  “Let me take a look at you. Damn, girl! You are beautiful, just like your mother.”

  “Daddy, why all the flattery? Some say I resemble you.”

  “No chance. I’m too ugly, better you take after your mama.”

  Now I know he was lying. If Jamie had lived, this would be how he would look, just as handsome as my father, but Jamie was more muscular as my father was leaner.

  My father gestured to me to sit by him, I happily accepted. We all loaded our plates with Wendy’s homemade pancakes. No one could cook like she can. I quietly ate my breakfast without engaging too much in the table conversation. I know what I overheard, and I was trying to keep my emotions in check.

  “So, baby girl, after breakfast we can all go back to the ranch and get you settled in. I was down in the barn this morning, and I told Jazzy you were here. I swear that horse’s eyes lit up like the fireworks on the Fourth of July,” Daddy said with a smile.

  “You are staying with us, right Tenley?” Mama asked me with worry in her eyes.

  “Yes, mama, that’s the plan.”

  “Great! Now that is settled, let’s go.”

  “Mama, Daddy, would you mind taking my bags home with you, and I will meet you later? I would like to have a chat with Wendy, and then visit with Jagger. Isn’t he the reason why I’ve been summoned home?”

  I watched their faces go from bright to ashen with the mention of my former boyfriend’s name. Daddy was the first to speak.

  “Of course, sweetheart. You take all the time you need, and then meet us at home later on. If you need a lift, I can send one of the ranch hands to come and get you.”

  “I think I remember the way home, daddy, but thank you.”

  I couldn’t help miss the sadness in his eyes when I mentioned our home.

  My father loaded up his truck with my b
ags, and mama blew me a kiss. I waved as they drove a safe distance before I turned back to Wendy, who for once wasn’t saying much.

  “I’ll just grab my bag, and I can drive you over.”

  “Not yet, Wendy. Not before you tell me what is really going on here.”

  “I don’t know what you mean, Tumbleweed, I’ve told you the truth.”

  “Somehow Wendy, I think you left out some parts to the story. Okay, have it your way for now, but make no mistake, I will not play whatever game you three have concocted. I will see Jagger, I will visit with my family, and then I will be on the next plane back to New York.”

  “Are you done?”

  “Actually I’m just getting warmed up. Something is not right here. Let’s begin with Jamie’s letter and the alleged others you still have.”

  “Boy, you are a lawyer, aren’t you? Why can’t you step out of your head right now and look beyond what you think you know? I have done nothing wrong here. When have I ever played games? You’re here because this is where you need to be. Put your claws away and stop trying to be so tough. Your parents love you, and so do I. You have someone who I know you still love and who loves you back. That man is in need of help right now. So Tenley, this is not a game. This is real life, your life. Open your eyes. Open that closed heart of yours and let’s go see Jagger.”

  Closed heart? If you only knew my friend, how wrong you are. My heart has been split wide open since the day I left here and watched my beloved brother get lowered down into the cold earth.

  WE DROVE THE short distance from Wendy’s home to St. John’s Medical Center. My stomach felt uneasy as we got closer. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Jagger was somewhere in this hospital and in a coma.

  “Aren’t you coming in?” I asked Wendy.