All Roads Lead Home

by Wasowski, Mary

  Here she sat while gripping my hand and lovingly looking back at me. She was real and she was here with me. This had been my dream for the past five years: for Tenley, my girl, to come back to me.

  Now all the fantasies that I had lost myself to for the years she’d been gone were now becoming a reality. She said she would do anything for me if I would awaken. Well now that I had, it was time for my girl to prove it. Yes, my girl. She never stopped being mine.

  My darkest hour, finding her in bed with Shane, nearly destroyed me. After losing Jamie, I knew she was worth forgiving and fighting for. I would do everything in my power to keep her with me. If she needed a reminder to what we were and would be again, I would happily show her what it meant to be truly mine.

  The road we were on back then was based on coming of age love. Sure, I thought I had all the answers and knew I wanted to share my life with Tenley, but I never realized how different we were until we parted ways.

  She was a free spirit, where I was grounded. I wanted the ranch and all it had to offer, she wanted to go far away and experience a new way of life different from where she came from. I believed by loving Tenley, that love would be enough to change her mind to stay with me. But you can’t hold down a wild horse no more than you can expect the girl you love to bow down at your feet. Not, Tenley, she’s too strong for that.

  Her tears had finally stopped and she was beckoning me to talk to her, but my eyes were weary. I was fighting to stay awake with her, but as my eyes closed, I heard her call out to me.

  “No, Jagger, please stay with me. I need to hear your voice. Please, Jagger, don’t go to sleep again.”

  Her words were lost on me, and I was out again. All my dreams were of Tenley. We were making love under the night sky on my daddy’s ranch. Our spot that belonged to just us. Her hair swept wildly over her naked breasts as I fucked her deeply and she screamed out my name. I was awakened this time not by the sound of Tenley’s voice, but to a shining light nearly blinding me.

  “Hey there, son. Welcome back,” said a voice I did not recognize, but assumed he was my doctor.

  “Now there he is, Mr. Brown Eyes. Hello there, handsome, I’m Shirley, and I’m happy to meet you.”

  I tried to sit up, but the over accommodating nurse was adding more pillows to my back for support.

  “There now, sugar, how do you feel?” she asked me through her smile. I think she was flirting with me. She’s got to be around my mother’s age if not older.

  “Hi, Shirley.” Was all I could say as my eyes scanned the room, and realizing Tenley has left. I felt as if I was just punched in my chest.

  “Mr. Parrish, I’m Doctor Sampson. I’ve been overseeing your care since you were brought in over a month ago. Your vitals are strong and physically you are on your way to making a complete recovery, but I would like to run a few tests. I’m going to send you down to Radiology for a CAT scan and then we can talk some more.”

  “I’ve been unconscious for over a month? How is that even possible? Do I have a brain injury or something?” I nervously asked. The sound on the machine began to beep to a loud sound as my blood pressure began to rise.

  “Mr. Parrish, please calm down. From our initial findings after your accident, you suffered a hematoma on your brain, which has now healed. With ordering another scan, I will confirm what I believe to be true. The cast on your leg can now be removed and you can begin physical therapy, as well as getting all of your muscles working again.”

  “If I don’t have a brain injury, then why was I out for so long? Something is not right here, doc. I feel it.”

  “Mr. Parrish, I can assure you that you have received the best medical care, and I have no real answer to why you were sleeping for so long, but the good news is that you are awake now and all your faculties seem to be in working order. Let’s thank the Lord for our blessings and not tempt fate, shall we?”

  “Tenley…Where is Tenley?”

  “I don’t know any Tenley, is she a relative?”

  “No, not relative, just the very reason why I’m awake in the first place.”

  “Mr. Parrish, let me bring Shirley back in for you and maybe she knows where your mystery woman is.”

  I think the good doctor was mocking and laughing at my expense. No fucking way—did I imagine her? Tenley was holding my hand. I saw her tears and felt her pain while I was in my coma.

  “Hey, Mr. Brown Eyes, let’s get you ready to go down for your test.”

  “Nurse please, where is Tenley?”

  “Oh, you mean that sweet gal who’s been camping out here in your room?”

  “Yes, the very one.”

  “She’ll be back handsome, don’t you go worrying. After you woke up and then drifted back to sleep, she came and got your doctor. She was clearly upset and needed some air. I told her it would do her some good.”

  “How long ago was that?”

  She looked at her watch and then checked my chart. She was flipping the pages while I wanted to just grab the chart away from her. How difficult could it be to figure out when I woke up?

  “Ah, here it is. Dr. Sampson examined you around one in the morning, she left shortly after that.”

  “What the hell time is it now?” I screamed out as my throat burned with a sand paper- like feeling to it. I was so thirsty, I could drink a gallon of water.

  “Mr. Parrish, you may have the nicest brown eyes I have ever seen, but you also need to calm down and let me talk.” She put her hands on her hips and waited for me to comply.

  “I’m sorry, Shirley, but I don’t understand what is happening right now. She should be here with me.”

  “And I’m sure she will be, as soon as I call her. She left me her number to do so when you woke up.”

  “Well why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?” I bellowed at her. It wasn’t her fault, and here I was taking it out on the kind nurse before me.

  “Men!!! Because you never gave me a chance to do so. And it is six thirty a.m., and I’ve had enough fuss from you. I need a cup of coffee first, and then I think I will have an orderly take you down.”

  Taking a much needed breath, I calmed myself and began again. She eyed me carefully, probably expecting me to shout again.

  “I’m sorry for flying off the handle with you. You can’t possibly understand what’s going through my mind right about now. I thought I had imagined her being here, and when I woke to see her gone, it left me a bit freaked out.”

  “I understand more than you know, handsome. That girl has not left your side in nearly ten days. You have to be blind not to see how much she loves you. Take a few minutes to relax, and then you will have your test and clean up. She’ll be back, I promise you. And your mama and daddy are anxious to see you too, as well as that other handsome fella, what’s his name? Shane.”

  Just the sound of his name mentioned sent shivers up my spine. Shane was the last person I needed fucking help from. He was one that was responsible for me being in this bed. No thank you, but my so called…brother can stay the fuck away from me.

  “Are you okay Mr. Parrish? You’re white as a ghost. Someone jump on your grave?”

  If she only knew.

  “Yeah, something like that. Can we just get this CAT scan done and over with? The sooner I do, the sooner Tenley will be back here with me.”

  “Of course, let’s go.”

  I sighed with relief, as the orderlies wheeled me out from my room. I closed my eyes and she was there…my Ten.

  NEARLY TWO HOURS had passed since I returned to my empty hospital room. I cleaned up the best I could with the cast still on my leg. I had all my personal toiletries here with me, so I took full advantage of using the familiar products instead of the antiseptic smelling hospital items they provided.

  Nurse Shirley volunteered to give me a sponge bath, but I politely refused her. She was very sweet, but I only wanted one woman’s hands on my body and lips on my mouth. I wanted her, all of her, and I was going crazy waiting for
Tenley to return. My beard was a mess, my father was no barber. I took out my electric shaver and groomed my beard. I kind of liked it, so I just trimmed it to a clean cut. It was winter here in Wyoming, and the beard would keep my face warm from the brutal cold air.

  I could feel my adrenaline rising as I wanted to leap from this bed. I needed to get out of here and back with Tenley. I needed her in my arms, in my bed, in my life…this time forever. Would she agree this time? Only time would tell.

  “For a guy who’s been playing the role of Sleeping Beauty, you sure don’t look the part. You actually look pretty good, son.”

  My father was here. Gosh, I’ve missed him. He came over and took me into a bone crushing hug, while my mother silently wept behind him. They were a sight for sore eyes, and I was thanking God that I was back with them.

  “How do you feel, son?” My mother asked.

  “I’m good, mom, better than good. Have you called Tenley yet? She should be here by now. It’s been hours.”

  “Calm down, boy, I’m sure she’ll be here soon. That girl has not left your side. She’s probably exhausted,” my father explained.

  “She may have turned her phone off to get some rest,” my mother added.

  “Listen, I know what you’re trying to do, and I can promise you with my whole heart that I know she’s coming back. She wouldn’t do that to me again. You know that right?”

  “Of course we do, son. Tenley has been nothing but amazing these past days. We’ve talked in great detail. She has a pretty incredible life in New York.”

  “It’s not that incredible, dad,” I mumbled under my breath, full knowing he heard me. He didn’t have to play the buffer here, not where it concerned Tenley. He knows more than anyone what I sacrificed for her dream and my promise to Jamie. I did what I promised and waited out my time. Now it was time to take back what never should have been lost in the first place.

  “She-devil. How is my horse dad?” My poor baby must be wondering where the hell I am. It wasn’t her fault that she threw me. Shane lunged at me and spooked her. Then she nearly trampled me with her hoofs as I scrambled away from her. Shane was on top of me next and punching the shit out of me. When I finally gathered my wits, I fought back until I lost my balance over the ledge.

  I screamed out for Shane to help me, and he froze. I begged him to pull me up and when my pleas finally registered with him, I lost my grip on the crumbling ledge. It was then Shane screaming out for me. My body tangled with the jagged rocks, brush, and the unforgiving river bank below. How I didn’t die was a miracle, maybe it was Jamie that protected me while I fought to stay alive. Maybe it was my love for his sister and my determination to reunite with her.

  “Are you listening to me son?”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Just as I expected. Your head is always in the clouds. I said your horse is just fine. She misses you, but you’ll see her soon.”

  “Dad, what happened after I fell? How much time went by before I was found?”

  “Come on, Jagger. We don’t have to talk about this now. You just woke up, and you need all your strength to get well. What’s done is done, let it go.”

  “Like hell I will. How long dad?”

  “Nearly ten hours before we located you son. I can’t even begin to tell you the fear I had playing through my mind at that moment. I hated you for that. Don’t ever do that to me again. You are my boy, my only child. You scared the hell out of us. Your poor mother cried for days. Hell, she’s still crying, but I think they’re happy tears now.”

  “Dad, I’m sorry you ever had to go through that, but it was no picnic for me either.”

  I was going to tell my father the reason behind my accident, when my mother walked back in with a pink box, no doubt filled with treats for me. Yup, I was right. I saw the bakery’s logo on the side of the box. I had a sweet tooth and was a goner for bear claws. I didn’t indulge often, but when I did, I enjoyed every bite of the delicious dessert.

  “You must be starving, my poor boy. I have some donuts and pastries here for you, as well as a breakfast sandwich, coffee, and juice.”

  “Thanks, mama, I can go for some juice right now.”

  “Anything you want.”

  Anything I want? That should be obvious to everyone. I wanted Tenley, and back here like yesterday. What could be taking her so long? Shirley told me that she left her number and to call her when I woke up. Something felt off, and it was getting me angrier by the minute.

  “Dad, please pass me the phone? I need to call the ranch. She’s not here, so that must mean she’s home with her parents.”

  “Jagger...” He slowly said, and his face fell a bit. What are they not telling me?

  “Dad? Where is Tenley?”

  “You’re right, she’s home, but there’s something else you should know.”

  “Ren, maybe this is not a good time,” my mother latched on to my father’s arm, as if she was pulling him away from me. Now that was all I was about to take. I was five seconds away to climbing out of this bed and crawling to find her if I had to.

  “What are you not telling me?” I shouted with my father glaring back over at me. What did they expect from me?

  “Jagger, now calm the heck down. You just came back to us after weeks of being unconscious. Give us a break if your parents want to just take in the miracle we’ve been blessed with, okay?”

  “Okay,” I whispered. “Dad, please hand me the phone? I want to hear her voice.”

  “You will son, soon. After we received the call from your doctor, we were blessing the heavens you came back to us. I personally phoned the Fairchilds, and Tenley. I couldn’t hear a word she was saying through her cries, but after she gathered her wits, I asked her to stay away until we had a chance to spend some time with you.”

  “You did what?! Why dad? You know what she means to me,” I shouted, making my mother jump at the loudness of my tone.

  “I do know, son. Believe me when I say I understand perfectly what Tenley Fairchild means to you, but I also know all the hurt she has brought to your life. You say you made a promise to Jamie to let her go, but my son, really? You never did. You just said it in words, but never in your heart. We saw your pain play out every single day for the past five years. We saw you hit rock bottom the day her brother died. We saw it more when he was lowered down into the cold earth and you two kids were hurting over your shared loss. She was on one side and you the other. Two lost souls fighting what you felt for each other because you were too stubborn to bend for the other.”

  Dad continued, “Jagger, you think we didn’t see that? Do you think it didn’t destroy us every time you came home drunk, or not home for days? We were out of our minds with worry over you. Then one day, you came back to us, and there was hope. It’s like the light switched on, and you were focused again on the ranch, your family, friends, and all that used to have purpose in your life. You have light again in your eyes, son. I just don’t want to see it burn out again.”

  “I promise you son, I love that girl like my own daughter. I hold no ill will against her, but you are my son first and your needs come before anyone. Do you understand what I am saying to you?” he said to me.

  “Please don’t be angry with us son. We needed this time with you,” my mother said.

  “Jagger, tell me you’ve heard everything I’ve said here today. Tell me my words have not fallen on deaf ears. I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m being your father. You are a grown man, and I certainly would never stand in your way, but I also want to protect you. Do you get where I’m coming from?”

  “I do sir. I will always respect your opinions and be thankful for your wisdom, but daddy, I’m asking you to please trust me when it comes to Tenley. She’s my life. I will not live one more day without her. Being angry with you two is the furthest emotion from my mind. I get it and understand, but you have to understand how I feel at the moment. I was in a horrific accident, and I didn’t know if I was going to survive it. The
se past weeks all I’ve been dreaming about is her. I’ve played out every moment I have ever spent with Tenley and every feeling I experienced by loving Tenley Fairchild. Please don’t look at me like I’m crazy. I know it’s been a long time, but my feelings for her have not changed. I love her. I want her back in every area of my heart and life. I fully intend on making that happen as soon as I get out of here.”

  My mother needed no more explaining from me. She knew just by the look in my eyes.

  “Okay. I’ll call her.” Mom said as she reached for her cell phone.

  “Thank you mama. It’s going to be okay. Trust in that.”

  I WAS OUT in the barn brushing Jazzy after our morning ride when my phone rang. It was Jagger’s mother telling me her son finally had woken up. I couldn’t help but shout out loud how happy I was to hear this news. I was taken back after she explained he’s been up for a while, but only now calling me. I looked down at my watch and was shocked it was nearly noon.

  A pang of hurt shot through my chest. What did I expect after all of this time? I had a lot to make up for, not only with Jagger, but his parents too. They loved me as much as my own parents did. The fact remains, I hurt their son and I shouldn’t have expected a warm reception to my return. His father was another story. When I saw him at the hospital, he was nothing but kind to me. He was guarded, but he had to be and I would be too if the roles were reversed.

  His mother, Ellen, always very kind, explained and assured me that all was alright. Ellen and Ren wanted some private time with Jagger, who by the way was hell on wheels after discovering I wasn’t close by. His parents finally gave in to his demands, and that’s when his mom called me. My folks were happy, and Wendy too. I’m sure now that he’s awake, the onslaught of visitors will be non-stop. I ended my call with Ellen, and then finished tending to my horse. Jazzy looked well. I think my father was right when he said her spirits had brightened after we took our first ride.