by S. H. Kolee
I started trembling at Simon's words because I knew that wasn't what happened. I stared at him while he continued talking to the dispatcher and then hung up the phone.
"What are you talking about?" I whispered. "I didn't stab Claudia."
"We need to claim self-defense. They'll put us both away if we tell them Claudia was overtaken by a vardoger and it was trying to kill you. No one will believe it. I can't say I stabbed her protecting you because they won't buy it. It's too much excessive force, especially since her back was to me. They won't understand that it wasn't just a human that was attacking you."
Simon sounded so reasonable but I was speechless. I tried to gather my wits together and made myself look at Claudia again, flinching when her dead eyes gazed back at me. I almost didn't believe she was dead, expecting her to jump at me when I least expected it. I tried to reassure myself with the fact that vardogers couldn't survive without a human body to be connected to. The only reason the other vardogers were able to detach from their persons and come after me was because Claudia had the unique power to let them attach to her.
I was roused from my thoughts when Simon gently laid my head back down on the ground. I blanched when he reached over, wiping the handle of the blade sticking out of Claudia's chest with the bottom of his shirt.
"What are you doing?" I rasped, horror making my voice waver. I felt nausea rolling through me as I watched Simon pick up Claudia's lifeless hand and place it around the knife handle before letting it drop back to the ground.
"I'm sorry, Caitlin, but we have to make sure the fingerprints match our story." Simon took my hand and pulled it over to the knife, but I snatched my hand back in terror.
Simon inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly before he continued. "Please, Caitlin. This is for your own good." He took my hand again and wrapped it around the knife handle, gently placing my hand back on my stomach when he was done. I felt detached from the scene, a witness to a nightmare that seemed to getting worse, despite the fact that Claudia was no longer a threat.
"How did it really happen?" I whispered.
"She was killing you." Simon's eyes were suddenly blazing with fury but his hands were gentle as he came back beside me, brushing the hair out of my face. "I came to and she was about to finish you off. She was so focused on you that she didn't notice me getting up and going to the kitchen to get a knife. I stabbed her."
I shuddered, not just at the description but the matter-of-fact way Simon was telling it. Despite it being a vardoger he killed, the human body was still oozing blood.
"But...you stabbed her in the front. How is that possible?"
Simon's mouth tightened. "I knew we had to have a believable story for the police. You couldn't have stabbed her in the back. Claudia was so focused on you that I was able to push her off you and stab her."
My whole body was starting to tremble. Simon didn't seem the least bit bothered by what he had done. And how had he been strong enough to push Claudia back? She had superhuman strength.
"Simon," I stuttered. "You're scaring me. I know you were just protecting me, but...you seem so unaffected by what you did. How were you strong enough to pull her off me, anyway?"
Simon's eyes bored into mine, full of fierce emotions. "I didn't kill a person, Caitlin. I killed a vardoger. When I saw what she was doing to you, nothing else mattered except saving you. I would do anything to protect you, including killing someone. Something." Simon took a deep breath. "I don't know what came over me, but suddenly I felt like I could pick up a house. I don't know if it was adrenaline but I was able to throw her off of you without much effort."
I heard the distant sound of sirens. "Maybe it was the vardoger inside you that gave you strength. Although I don't know why it would help kill Claudia's vardoger."
Simon smiled, looking inappropriately happy considering the mess we were in. "It's gone, Caitlin. When I came to, I could feel that it was gone. I could always feel the other presence inside of me, yet when I became conscious there was nothing. Just me."
Hope flooded inside of me. Maybe somehow when I had vanquished the two vardogers, I had gotten rid of Simon's vardoger as well. The force of my energy had never felt as strong as it did then. It didn't make sense, but I didn't care at this point. All that mattered was that Simon was now free.
I smiled at Simon, feeling genuine happiness. Although Simon's actions and attitude about Claudia had frightened me, I knew he had done it to protect me, to save me. Simon leaned over me, kissing me gently. When he pulled back, he was gazing at me lovingly.
"We're going to tell the police that Claudia was jealous, that she wanted to be with me. You came here looking for your aunt, and she followed you. She was enraged when she found us together and knocked me unconscious." Simon frowned. "They'll have to believe she was strong enough to do that. I'll say she caught me off guard. She tried to stab you, bashing your head in the process, and you two struggled. You were trying to grab the knife away and it slipped, stabbing her in the chest. You'll have to say she fell on the knife to explain how there was enough force for it to go into her chest."
I felt overwhelmed by Simon's story, but I nodded. The sirens got much louder and I heard a commotion outside. I told myself to keep the facts of the story straight, convincing myself that Simon knew best.
Chapter Thirteen
The aftermath was dizzying. I was rushed to the hospital where I was poked and prodded by various doctors. After a CT scan, I was diagnosed with a concussion and was required to stay overnight for observation. That didn't stop the police from questioning me at length, and I repeated the same story over and over again. I was frantic to see Simon, but he was being questioned separately.
I insisted that the police do something about my aunt's disappearance. She had been missing for four days and they assured me that they would file a missing person's report, although they still seemed skeptical when I insisted foul play was involved. I told them about Lenore's disappearance too, mentioning Marie and Cecelia as well, but I wasn't sure if they were actually missing. I was hard-pressed to explain the circumstances of Lenore's disappearance since I couldn't tell them it was Claudia because it didn't fit into the story Simon and I had devised. So I simply told them that when Lenore and I went back to my aunt's house, an intruder knocked her unconscious while I was upstairs. When I heard the commotion and ran downstairs, I found her on the floor, but when I went to the kitchen to use the phone to call the police, I heard a noise. When I went back into the living room, my aunt's body had disappeared. I told them I was afraid that the intruder was still in the house and fled, too scared to call the police.
The police looked incredulous as they listened to my story, but I insisted that if they went to my aunt's house they would find Lenore's blood. They agreed that they would follow up on it, but by their looks I knew they were just humoring me, thinking my concussion was making me confused.
After the police left, my first thought was to call Sarah. She was upset when I told her I was hurt, but I didn't tell her what happened because I was too paranoid that someone would overhear our conversation. I placated her with reassurances that I would be back at Maxwell soon, convincing her not to come down to see me although it took a lot of effort on my part.
I debated whether or not to call my father, but I didn't want him to hear about this on the news. I was pretty sure the fact that I had supposedly killed a college girl in self-defense would hit the media. The conversation was quick and I was surprised when he offered to come to the hospital, but I assured him it wasn't necessary. Despite the way we had parted earlier, my father refrained from making any mention of our argument and I followed his lead, pretending like it had never happened.
It was hours later when Simon walked into my room, looking tired and worn out. He didn't say a word, simply walking over and enveloping me in a hug. I hugged him back fiercely, the solid warmth of his body comforting me like nothing else could. We stayed that way for a while, my face buried in his neck, the warm masculi
ne scent that was singularly Simon soothing me like a balm.
When Simon finally pulled back, it was to kiss me gently, being careful not to disturb the bandage on the back of my head. Instead of passion, there was love and relief in his kiss, an affirmation that we had survived. Simon stayed overnight in the hospital room with me and we didn't talk much, although we couldn't seem to stop touching each other, as if we were each trying to reassure ourselves that the other was okay. I was relieved when no visions or dreams disturbed my sleep.
I awoke with a horrible headache the next morning, with the pills my nurse gave me only helping slightly. I was released from the hospital and Simon took me to his house, where his mother, his housekeeper Maxine and his sister fell all over me, shocked because Simon hadn't called them from the hospital to tell them what happened. They cried over Simon, hugging him repeatedly and asking if he was really okay. His father was on a business trip and Simon argued with them, not wanting them to call him because he didn't want his father rushing back for no reason. They finally relented and I had a feeling that Simon's real motive for not wanting his father to come home was to prevent putting any more pressure on me.
Embarrassing as it was, I appreciated everyone's concern. I appreciated their discretion even more. I wondered if Simon had said something to his family and Maxine, because they didn't ask me any questions about what happened. I was relieved because I didn't think I could lie to them as easily as I had lied to the police.
As expected, Simon and I were all over the news, and his father had been the one to call, angry that he had been left in the dark. Simon had placated him as best as he could, but his father ended up coming home on Saturday. His father hadn't said much, just asking us both if we were okay and hugging his son fiercely.
I ended up calling Sarah and telling her the real story. She had been shocked and sickened by the details, but her overriding emotion was relief that we were okay.
We stayed through the weekend, and by Sunday I was feeling like myself again although I still had a dull ache every time I moved my head too sharply. The police had been by to visit us several times, and I was shocked to learn the back story of Claudia's life. The real Claudia. She had no family to call her own, an orphan who had been brought up in foster care and sent out into the world to fend for herself when she turned eighteen. I mourned for her; the Claudia that had passed earlier without anyone knowing, for the girl who had put herself through school by sheer will, working several jobs to cover what her scholarship didn't, whose potential would never be realized. I promised myself that her death wouldn't be in vain.
Simon and I returned to school on Monday since there was nothing left to do in Connecticut. The police promised to keep me updated on the progress of the missing person cases, although it was with a heavy heart that I realized that I may never get answers on that front.
The next couple of weeks were a blur. Despite everything that had happened, life settled back into a somewhat normal routine. I attended classes, spent time with my friends, and watched Simon perform at the East End. But what I was really waiting for was the visions to start again. I had promised myself that Claudia's death wouldn't be in vain, and I was anxious to have visions again so that I could start tracking vardogers. But they didn't come. At first I thought it had something to do with my head injury, but as days passed with no visions, despite being fully recovered, I began to wonder if they would ever return. I had always hoped that my visions would disappear, but that was before I realized why I was having them. I knew I couldn't just pretend that life was normal and that there weren't shadows out there killing people. I had experienced a paradigm shift in my outlook on life, and now my lack of visions made me anxious and frustrated.
It was a late Friday afternoon, a week before Thanksgiving, when I stopped by Simon's apartment before work. Simon's blue eyes lit up when he opened the door, ushering me inside from the cold.
"This is a nice surprise," he said as he leaned down, kissing me as if he hadn't seen me in days, although we had just seen each other this morning. I kissed him back just as eagerly, still reveling in the freedom of being able to love Simon openly and honestly, knowing that he knew everything about me and still wanted me.
"I just thought I'd say hi before I headed down to Colette's." I was breathless from the kiss and Simon's roving hands underneath my coat made it even harder to catch my breath. Pleasure tingled through me when his hands slipped underneath my shirt, caressing my back and sending tiny shivers throughout my body, but I wriggled out of his grasp. At this rate, I would never get to the diner. "I'm going to be late if you keep that up."
Simon grinned, pulling me back towards him. "I'm okay with that."
I slapped his hands away and rolled my eyes, although I wasn't really annoyed. "Behave. Or else I'll have second thoughts about coming over tonight."
Simon immediately put his hands up, looking innocent. I had promised to come over and spend the night at his apartment after my shift at Colette's and he didn't seem to want to take a chance on me backing out. He didn't need to know that there was nothing he could do to make me not show up.
"I'll be the perfect gentleman."
"I'm talking about now, not tonight." Simon's eyebrows shot up at my words, and I wanted to kick myself. I didn't want Simon to get the wrong idea. We had gotten much closer physically these past few weeks, but I wasn't ready to have sex. I hadn't told Simon yet that I was a virgin and I was hesitant about broaching the subject, but it was more than my lack of experience that made me hesitate. So much had happened recently that I felt a little overwhelmed by how quickly things had changed and I needed to process it before I took such a big step. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I had plenty of time to explore my relationship with Simon. I was hoping that we had a long future together, so there was no hurry to rush things.
"I didn't mean..." I trailed off, feeling gauche and inexperienced. A flush started from my cheeks all the way down to my toes. Simon tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, smiling gently.
"I didn't think you meant anything by it. I know you want to go slow."
"Are you okay with that?" I hated this feeling of insecurity, but I wasn't blind to how female eyes seem to follow him everywhere we went. The scandal of what had happened with Claudia only seemed to add to his notoriety. The fans were at a fever pitch last Saturday at the East End when the Henchmen performed, and I had been dismayed by the number of women who had pressed scraps of paper with their phone numbers scribbled on them into his hand when he got offstage. It's not that I didn't trust Simon, but a girl could only take so much before she got jealous and just a tiny bit insecure.
"Are you asking if I'm okay with waiting until you're ready?"
I nodded, the flush deepening. Simon cradled the sides of my head with gentle hands, his eyes shimmering with emotion. "Caitlin, I'd spend the rest of my life waiting for you. Don't you know that by now? I can't lie and say that I'm not wildly attracted to you and don't want to take our physical relationship to a deeper level. I spend most nights thinking about what it would feel like to have you under me, to be inside you. But I want you to be ready when that happens. I don't want you to have any doubts when I worship your body with mine." Simon's eyes darkened, his gaze piercing me. "Don't ever doubt that you have me...mind, body and soul. And don't ever forget that the same applies to you. You belong to me, mind, body and soul."
I gulped, utterly speechless as I gazed at Simon. A confusing mixture of emotions was going through me, but the most notable one was desire. "How am I supposed to go to work now?" I squeaked. All I could think about was making progress on the physical aspect of our relationship.
Simon laughed, shaking off his seriousness and kissing me lightly on the forehead. "C'mon, I'll walk you to work."
Even though the biting wind of November whipped around us, I felt warm as a result of Simon's words and his arm around my shoulders.
"What time is Kendra arriving tomorrow?" I asked, glanc
ing up at the bare branches shuddering from the strong wind as we made our way to Colette's. Even with everything that had happened, his sister was still determined to make use of Simon's plane ticket that he had given to her as a birthday present, and was flying in tomorrow.
"In the afternoon. Will you come with me to pick her up?"
"Of course."
It was a quick walk to Colette's and I was reluctant to let Simon go. "Thanks for walking me to work. I'll see you later."
I leaned up, intending to give him a chaste kiss goodbye, but he had other ideas. He ran his tongue along the seam of my closed lips, groaning when I opened them to grant him entrance. I knew we were in clear view of everyone inside Colette's since the front of the diner was all glass, but I couldn't seem to care as I wrapped my arms around Simon's neck, giving myself fully to him. His lips gently pulled at my lower lip, returning to claim my mouth fully, making a sound of approval when I pushed my tongue into his mouth.
I had no idea how long we were standing there, our desire making us oblivious to the cold. I finally had the sense to pull back from our kiss that had quickly spiraled out of control, although the only reason I did so was because I knew I was going to be late for work. I couldn't really give a believable excuse since I was sure Colleen, the owner, was watching Simon and I devour each other from just a few yards away.
Simon's face was harsh with desire and I reached up, stroking his jaw with my fingers. His expression gentled at my touch, turning towards my hand and kissing my palm.
"I have to go," I whispered, not surprised that I sounded so breathless.
Simon nodded, but he didn't release me. Instead, he said in a low voice, "I love you."
I smiled at him, my heart bursting with emotion. "I love you too."
My shift at Colette's was sheer torture. My desire to be with Simon, coupled with Marnie's endless questions about my relationship status, made the night seem go on forever. Even though I usually loved working with Marnie, a fellow waitress, her fervent curiosity was a little too much to take tonight. Colleen's amused looks didn't help either.