Chasing Shadows

by S. H. Kolee

"Hey, Caitlin." His eyes slid over to Neal who had stopped talking at my greeting.

  "Neal, this is my friend Marcus." Marcus and Neal exchanged nods and then Marcus looked back at me, almost with a frown. It was an expression I rarely saw on Marcus' normally agreeable face.

  "Why don't you join us?" I asked.

  Marcus shook his head. "I already ate. I just saw you as I was leaving." He glanced at Neal again before speaking. "I have to get to class. I'll see you later."

  "Well, that was a little uncomfortable," Neal said when Marcus left. I wondered at Marcus' reaction, hoping that he didn't think there was anything going on between Neal and me. None of my friends were used to seeing me with guys outside of our group, so it didn't really surprise me that Marcus had been surprised, but I thought he knew me better than that. I inwardly groaned at the thought of Marcus telling Simon that he had seen Neal and me together.

  I pushed the thought aside, focusing back on Neal. "Don't worry about it. I think Marcus was just in a hurry."

  Neal nodded, not looking convinced. I had a hard time paying attention during the rest of lunch because I kept wondering what Marcus would tell Simon.

  Chapter Twenty

  I had one more class after lunch so I called Simon as I walked over to the lecture hall. The phone barely rang once before he picked up.

  "Where are you right now?" I could tell by the tone of his voice that Marcus had already spoken to him.

  "I'm on my way to my marketing class."

  Simon didn't waste any time cutting to the chase. "Marcus said he saw you and Neal looking pretty cozy eating lunch."

  I sighed, knowing that this was going to be blown out of proportion. "Simon, I just met him for lunch at the student center. You know I have to keep close to him."

  "I told you that I didn't want you seeing him without me around."

  "Simon, be reasonable. You can't always be around. You have back-to-back classes all day today so I didn't want to bother you."

  "Caitlin, I've been humoring you about getting close to California Ken. But I explicitly told you not to hang around him without me. He could be dangerous."

  My temper started to rise at Simon's dictatorial tone and his mockery of Neal. "Simon, I told you before that you can't control me. I'm the one that has to protect Neal, not you. I explicitly told him today that I wasn't interested in him and that I was with you."

  Simon's voice was low when he spoke. "I'm coming over tonight and we're talking about this in person."

  I had invited Neal over to the apartment tonight to start helping me write a song for Simon. He wouldn't expect Simon to be there since this was supposed to be a surprise for him, but there was no way I was telling Simon that. As annoyed as I was by his high-handedness, I realized that would push Simon too far.

  "What about Kendra? Is she going to twiddle her thumbs alone at your place while you berate me?"

  "Don't use her as an excuse. I'll see you tonight."

  I knew there was no way to convince Simon not to come over. I also knew that he would be much angrier if he saw Neal at my place without warning.

  "Okay, but Neal is coming over tonight."

  There was a prolonged silence, the tension so palpable that the air was practically vibrating through the phone.

  Simon's voice was harsh as he asked the question he had opened the conversation with again. "Where are you right now?"

  I glanced around me, as if I expected him to suddenly materialize. "Simon, I can't talk about this right now. I have to get to class. I'll see you later."

  I hung up before he could respond, turning the ringer on my phone to silent before dropping it in my bag. A part of me felt guilty, that I wasn't being fair to Simon. If the roles were reversed, I would be feeling pretty crappy about Simon spending time with another girl. But I would understand that he was trying to save her life, not get into her pants. At least, I hoped I would.

  I was grateful that my next class was a lecture so that I didn't have to really pay attention. I kept replaying the conversation with Simon over and over again, feeling worse and worse about it. Maybe I could blame it on the fact that I didn't have much relationship experience, but I felt like a lousy girlfriend.

  I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't hear the door in the front of the lecture hall open. I was shocked when all of a sudden I saw Simon approach my professor, daring to interrupt his lecture. My professor looked less than pleased at Simon's interruption, but then he started nodding when Simon spoke to him, although they were too far away for me to hear what he was saying. Simon started scanning the lecture hall until his eyes stopped on me, skewering me to my seat.

  He walked methodically up the aisle towards me as heads swiveled to watch him. I wasn't sure if they were watching him because of his intensity, his eyes never leaving mine as he walked closer, or if it was because they recognized the lead singer of the Henchmen. Simon was practically a celebrity at our small school and attracted stares wherever he went.

  I was sitting next to the aisle so he didn't have to clamber through seats to get to me. I watched dumbfounded as he grabbed my hand, pulling me up. His action broke me out of my reverie.

  "Simon, what are you doing?" I hissed, flushing as I felt everyone's eyes on me. "You can't just drag me out in the middle of class!"

  Simon didn't respond as he pulled on my hand and I knew not following him would cause an even bigger scene. I just barely had enough time to grab my bag and coat before he dragged me outside.

  When we finally made it outside the building, I ripped my hand out of his. "There is seriously something wrong with you. You can't just walk into class and drag me out! What will my professor think?"

  Simon turned to face me, his blue eyes glittering. "I told your professor you had an emergency."

  I made a sound of frustration at Simon's high-handedness. "Just because you gave an excuse doesn't make your behavior okay. I said we would talk about this tonight!"

  Simon noticed me shivering and he took the coat I had grabbed before he dragged me off, not having time to put it on. Despite his obvious anger, he took my bag and put it on the ground, and then gently helped me put on my coat. I stood there, waiting for him to either explode or provide an explanation for his behavior, but he said nothing, just watching me.

  I was surprised when he pulled me close, his arms wrapping around me under my unzipped coat. I tried to hold my body stiff, angry at his behavior, but soon I felt myself softening, relaxing in his embrace. I returned the hug, melting into him. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with Simon.

  "Simon, please." My voice was muffled against his coat. "I love you. Please don't make this harder than it already is. You know why I'm getting close to Neal."

  Simon exhaled harshly. His voice was guttural when he spoke. "I know, Caitlin. But the thought of losing you—it makes me crazy."

  I leaned back so that I could look up at Simon. His eyes were desolate as he looked down at me. "I'll be careful. Besides, Neal's vardoger hasn't overtaken him yet, so he's not dangerous."

  "I'm not just talking about losing you because he's dangerous, although God knows that's a concern. I don't want to lose you to him. He can give you things that I can never—"

  Simon cut himself off, burying his face in my neck as he tightened his arms around me. I was confused by his words.

  "He has nothing that you can't give me. All I want is your love. Only you can give me that."

  I felt the tension slowly drain from Simon's body. He slowly kissed my neck, working his way up to my ear. I shuddered when he nipped my earlobe with his teeth and then gently sucked on it. "I can only bear this if you promise not to see him without me there," he whispered.

  "Okay, I promise." I readily gave into him because it wasn't worth his anguish. Initially, I had thought it would make it easier if Simon wasn't around when I saw Neal since he seemed to see him as competition, but now I realized that it made it much worse for Simon. I silently berated myself for my denseness in
not realizing that earlier.

  Simon cradled my head between his hands and looked at me, his eyes full of love. He kissed me gently before pulling back. "Let's go back to my apartment."

  He took my hand, gently this time, and led me away.

  "What about my class? You have class now too!"

  "The last thing I want to think about right now is class." Simon's gaze on me was heated and I felt my pulse quicken in response. Thoughts of class scattered from my head as we hurried back to his place.

  Unfortunately, we had forgotten about Kendra. She bounded towards us with glee when we stepped inside Simon's apartment.

  "You're back early!"

  Despite my own disappointment, I had to stifle a laugh at Simon's look of frustration when he saw his sister. He sighed in resignation as Kendra bombarded us with questions.

  "What should we do now? I've been so bored! Grant had to go to class after I ate lunch with him so I've just been sitting here. Are we going out tonight? What are we doing for dinner?"

  Simon fielded Kendra's questions and I suggested that they come over for dinner tonight.

  "Why don't I bring over some takeout to your place tonight? You must be tired of always cooking."

  I was warmed by Simon's consideration but I shook my head. "It's okay, I don't mind. It makes me happy to cook for everyone." I leaned up and kissed him softly. "Especially you."

  Simon's eyes gleamed and he pulled me closer but I glanced at Kendra self-consciously. She didn't seem the least bit bothered by Simon and me getting close, but I cleared my throat, pushing Simon away. Simon cocked an eyebrow but then just smiled wryly.

  "What do you want to do before dinner, Kendra?" I asked. "It's up to you."

  "Let's go to the mall!" she exclaimed.

  "Again?" Simon groaned. "Kendra, you just went to the mall yesterday with Sarah. You can go to the mall anytime at home."

  "Simon," Kendra said slowly, as if he wasn't very smart. "It's a different mall than the one back home. Plus, I saw some things I wanted yesterday that I didn't get."

  "It's okay, Simon," I said, laughing. "I can take her."

  Simon wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close. "Well, I guess it'll be okay as long as you're there. Maybe I can convince you to try on some things for me." He waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively.

  I smacked Simon on the chest, mortified by his comment in front of his sister. It seemed to be too much for her as well because she clapped her hands over her ears.

  "Ew!" she exclaimed. "Gross! I'm going to be scarred for life now because of you."

  Simon just laughed, looking at me innocently. "What? I was talking about coats. You need a heavier coat with all this snow."

  I rolled my eyes but I couldn't contain my smile, happy that things were back to normal between us.

  Simon obligingly took us to the mall and we ended up having a fun time. I tried on a few coats at Simon's insistence but refused to let him buy one for me, insisting that I had a heavier coat that I just never wore, which was true. We mostly just watched Kendra buy clothes, holding hands and stealing kisses when she wasn't around.

  It was almost dinnertime by the time we got back since we had stopped at the grocery store so that I could buy ingredients for tonight. Simon and Kendra dropped me off at my apartment and I immediately started cooking.

  "Something smells amazing," Sarah announced when she got home a few minutes later. She walked into the kitchen, her cheeks flushed from the cold.

  "I'm making linguine with shrimp."

  Sarah's eyes lit up. "Have I ever told you that you're the best roommate ever?"

  I grinned and nodded towards the empty salad bowl. "I could use some help with your specialty."

  "Sure, let me just take off my coat."

  Sarah returned to the kitchen after shedding her coat and got to work on cutting up vegetables.

  "Simon and Kendra are coming over for dinner. So is Neal."

  Sarah raised her eyebrows. "Does Simon know?"

  I nodded. "We agreed that I wouldn't hang out with Neal without him. To be on the safe side in case his vardoger rears its ugly head." I didn't mention how scared Simon had seemed that he would lose me to Neal. He had seemed so vulnerable and it made me feel protective, even though I knew Sarah wouldn't judge him.

  "I think that's a good idea." Sarah looked up from the cutting board with a wide smile. "I talked to Jenny tonight. She and Marcus are officially a couple."

  "That's awesome!" I made a mental note to call Jenny. I didn't want everything that was happening in my life to start causing distance in my friendships.

  I listened to Sarah chatter on about how Jenny and Marcus' date had gone, which led up to their first kiss and decision to be exclusive. It was refreshing to have something happy to concentrate on.

  Dinner that night turned out much better than I expected. Grant, Jenny and Marcus joined us and it was nice to have everyone together again. Simon made an effort to not be overtly hostile to Neal and it was a step in the right direction. Neal was charming and wasn't overly attentive to me, which in turn made Simon more relaxed. Neal humored Kendra's attentions on him, her crush on him obviously growing.

  I pulled Neal away at one point and mentioned that I had decided not to write a song for Simon's Christmas present because I had thought of another idea. I didn't want to have a reason to see him without Simon. I stuttered when Neal asked me what the new idea was and I blathered on about it being a secret. Neal seemed more amused than anything else.

  I was shocked when Simon invited Neal to play basketball with him the next afternoon, along with Grant and Marcus. They routinely played in the indoor courts and Sarah, Jenny and I sometimes went along to watch them play.

  I was even more surprised when Neal agreed. Kendra and I decided that we would go along to watch them. Sarah and Jenny were disappointed that they couldn't join us because of class.

  All in all, it was a successful dinner and I was grateful for the calm before the storm.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I woke up with a scream reverberating inside my head. My breaths were shallow and I struggled to get enough air in my lungs. The sheets on the bed beneath me were soaked with my sweat and my pillow was damp from my tears. The memory of what I had just witnessed was burned on my mind. The fear gradually left me, replaced with a growing sense of urgency. I had just witnessed Neal's soul leaving his body, becoming an empty shell for his vardoger to overtake. That meant that it was going to happen today. Today I was either going to save Neal or watch him be killed by his vardoger. I grasped the iridium coin that never left my neck, drawing strength from the cool metal. I had stashed the palladium coin in my dresser when I got back from Connecticut. I didn't understand its properties and how it affected the power of my iridium, but I wasn't taking a chance with an unknown factor so I kept it hidden away.

  I checked my alarm clock and was surprised to see that it was already seven o'clock in the morning. I had to stick like glue to Neal today, regardless of whether he thought I was a weirdo because of it. I picked up my cell phone from my bedside table. My first thought was to call Simon.

  "Hello?" he answered groggily.

  "Simon, it's me."

  "Caitlin!" Simon sounded instantly alert when he recognized my voice. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing's wrong. Well, not yet. I'm sorry to call you so early but I had a vision of Neal being overtaken by his vardoger. It's going to happen today."

  "Are you sure?"

  I took a deep breath. "I'm pretty sure. I don't want to take any chances so I'm planning on staying pretty close to him today."

  "I will too."

  I bit my lip, knowing that Simon had two classes in the morning. A lot of professors had canceled classes for today since it was right before the holiday and luckily my day was completely open. Unfortunately, Simon wasn't as lucky and had two classes, one of which I knew he had to turn in an important assignment. As crazy as our lives had become, I didn't want Simon's
future to suffer because of it. He could still graduate, pursue his music career and lead a normal life. I wasn't sure if a normal life was still an option for me. As much as we loved each other, I wanted Simon to be prepared for a life without me. Just in case.

  "Simon, you should go to your classes. We can meet up afterwards."

  "No way. There is no way in hell I'm leaving you alone with Neal when his vardoger is about to attack him."

  I considered arguing but I realized I wanted Simon with me as well. As much as I was trying to feel brave, I was also scared.

  "Okay," I relented. "Just make sure to turn in your assignment."

  "Yes, ma'am."

  I rolled my eyes at the smirk I heard in Simon's tone but ignored it. "Neal is going to think I'm crazy if I call him now so I'm going to wait a couple of hours. Besides, it was dark in my vision so it won't happen until tonight."

  "I'm coming over."

  "What about Kendra?" I protested. "You can't just leave her alone in the apartment!"

  Simon sighed. "I was going to bring her with me."

  "As much as I'm sure that she'd appreciate being dragged over here in her pajamas at the crack of dawn, why don't we make it a little easier on her? I'll come over."

  "I don't want you walking by yourself. And the crack of dawn has come and gone."

  "Yes, so it's already light outside," I reasoned. "I'll be fine walking by myself."

  Simon relented with a sigh and I jumped into the shower after we got off the phone. My adrenaline was running high and my eyes seemed unnaturally bright when I looked in the mirror. This was it. Today was the day I realized my potential and used my powers against a vardoger to stop it from overtaking its person. I had waited for this day and I would do anything in my power to save Neal.

  Even though it was seven-thirty by the time I left my apartment to walk to Simon's place, it was a little eerie. A lot of students had already left for Thanksgiving and there seemed to be no one around this early except me. I felt like I was the only one left after a zombie apocalypse. I shook off these morbid thoughts, but I made an effort to walk faster.