Love by the Mile

by Heather Young-Nichols

  I shouldn’t like him but there were moments, little glimpses of the person he could be that I did like. Bianca warned me that Sal didn’t know how to do this sort of thing, the interacting with other people thing, but I hadn’t believed her. But again, there were moments where it seemed like he did know how to be normal.

  “Sometimes he’s sort of nice and I think… I think I like that side. But then this other douche shows up, and I want to stab him. So, I’m going with no, I don’t like him.”

  Bianca took a step closer to me. “There are things… ”

  “I know.” I held up a hand to cut her off. “But that’s not good enough.” In an instant, I made a decision. “I think I’m going to see what my parents are up to for Christmas.”

  “Bailey, no.” Her entire face dropped.

  She and I hadn’t spent a holiday apart since we met because her parents usually brought her to Gramps for the holidays to spend as a family.

  “This bullshit shouldn’t mess up the holiday,” I said. “It’s their first Christmas since their parents went to jail. It’s your first with Gio. Don’t worry. I’ll be back for New Year’s.”

  After a quick hug, I made my way around the corner to my car so she couldn’t try to talk me out of my snap decision.

  In my opinion, this was the best solution. They could all have a happy Russo/Romano/Diamati/DeLuca holiday. And I could have a very quiet one with my parents. Somewhere in the Caribbean. Where it wouldn’t even be cold.

  Then again, maybe I’d just stay home alone and not tell Bianca.

  The possibilities were almost endless.

  Chapter Eight

  The next day I didn’t have to work and I wasn’t going to even attempt to hang out with Bianca with Sal still in town. I planned to avoid him as much as possible. He’d be around and I wouldn’t be able to stay away from him completely but I’d limit my exposure.

  Like that weird uncle who comes to holiday gatherings and wants to hug you too long.

  Instead, I decided that my entire apartment needed a cleaning. It’d been too long. So that’s what I set out to do with my time. A deep clean.

  Cleaning also gave me time to immediately rethink my threat of spending the holidays with my parents. I loved my parents but holidays with them were never special. They hadn’t intended to have kids and then I came along. They were already set in their childless couple ways.

  Sometime that afternoon I a text from Bianca vibrated my phone.

  Her: He’s gone.

  Me: Good.

  Her: He likes you. He doesn’t know how to handle strong feelings… Or any really.

  Me: He should get a good therapist.

  That made even me laugh. I hadn’t even meant it to be funny but it was.

  Her: Gio told him if he can’t play nice he might need to visit less.

  If Gio kept this knight in shining armor thing up, I might have to hug the guy.

  Her: Um… Sal asked for your phone number. I gave it to him. Sorry. Don’t hate me.

  Me: What the hell, Bianca?

  I tossed my phone aside not bothering to see if she responded because I was done talking to her for now.

  Why would she do that?

  I didn’t think he’d ever use the number but I wondered why he would ask for it in the first place. And why my very best friend would give my phone number to a guy that couldn’t fucking stand me.

  A week later, our first round of drivers had been hired and we were right on schedule for beginning delivery. The excitement was building for the day, second week in January when we’d launch the new side of Romano’s. It was a lot of work but I loved every minute and slept like a freaking baby every night.

  We worked so hard every single day that when someone mentioned it was Christmas Eve it took a full minute for the realization to sink in. Romano’s closed for the holiday but stayed open for New Year’s although none of us would be working. There were enough people who wanted the excellent tips of working New Year’s Eve and Day that none of us needed to be there. Plus due to the holiday hours, Gramps had the restaurant close up at ten so everyone would still be able to celebrate.

  He cared about each and every employee.

  I let Bianca believe that she convinced me to continue our tradition of spending Christmas together. I’d decided on my own not to spend the holiday somewhere warm. I much preferred the snow for the season and I’d have to get back to Harbor Point too quickly to make a lengthy trip worth the trouble.

  More than that, I loved being with Bianca’s family.

  We gathered at Gramps on Christmas Eve like we did every year.

  The food was delicious and I did everything possible to avoid speaking directly to Sal.

  Gramps and Tony would lose their tempers if they knew the things Sal said to me before. If he said something douche in front of them, I didn’t even want to think about the blow up that would happen. While I thought Sal would have more sense than to be an asshole in front of them, I didn’t want to chance it so I stayed away just in case.

  When I first saw him, something tight coiled low in my stomach. Proof that you really couldn’t control who you were attracted to. I ignored the feeling, the attraction, and focused on Gemma who’d just finished another semester of college.

  After cleaning up from dinner, we all went into town for the Christmas Eve festivities.

  “What are we doing?” Gemma asked me quietly as we pulled on our winter coats.

  “There’s a living manger in town and carolers at the pier. The most delicious hot chocolate by the diner. The entire town is in the Christmas spirit and it’s fun.”

  We walked the few blocks from Gramp’s house. Winter in Harbor Point meant chilly temperatures, all part of being on the ocean. However, we were still above freezing and hadn’t gotten much in the way of snow accumulation yet.

  I realized I’d forgotten my gloves when we were already too far away to turn back. The gloves would’ve been just warm enough to keep the chill off my hands but I’d live. I didn’t want to hold everyone up so I tried to keep my hands jammed into my pockets instead.

  Once to Main Street, the entire group of us started our way down one side and I knew we’d come back up the other. But for now, we would stop at each and every stand or important spot we came to.

  I don’t know if it was the presence of Bianca’s parents, Tony and Maria, and her grandpa or if Sal was just having a good day, but he hadn’t tried to pick a fight with me once yet.

  I even let myself begin to relax.

  Our first stop was the Christmas Carolers. This group practiced for this night the entire year. They could’ve been professional. As they sang about the sweet baby Jesus in the manger or wishing us a Merry Christmas, goosebumps crept up my neck.

  Tony and Maria cuddled in close to each other, sill so in love.

  Bianca folded herself into Gio’s side and Gemma and Sal stood close to each other whispering and laughing before Gemma wrapped herself around Gio’s other side.

  It was a simple moment and it warmed my heart to see the entire group coming together as a family though I did feel a little on the outside.

  I didn’t have any siblings, another thing Bianca and I had in common, but it was good to see that Gemma and Gio had found a way to be close. Bianca told me they hadn’t had much of a family unit before their parents went to jail. To an outsider like me, they looked like they’d been close their entire lives.

  As for me, I hovered nearby rubbing my hands together, trying to warm them and cursed myself for forgetting those gloves. When that didn’t work, I blew a warm breath into each one which gave me a little relief from the cold. The hot chocolate down the street was going to be a godsend if we ever got there.

  The drink would be hot as hell but perfect through the Styrofoam cup to bring some life back to my hands. As I blew another round of warmth against my skin, my personal bubble suddenly became smaller.

  “Your hands cold?” Sal asked very close to my ear, sending a sh
iver up my spine. He shouldn’t get that close to me.

  “Forgot my gloves at the house.”

  After giving me a short nod, he pulled his own gloves off and handed them to me. I just stood there, slack-jawed looking at them until he shoved them even closer. When I tried to protest he grabbed my hand and forced the gloves on.

  His move was aggressive and if I didn’t cooperate I could’ve ended up with a broken finger. The leather gloves were still warm from his body heat.

  I knew he could be nice. He’d shown me that before. But I also knew the other side and that was the Sal that I had to watch out for. To not be caught off guard.

  When we began moving again, I noticed that while Sal walked beside me, he stayed far enough away that we wouldn’t ‘accidentally’ sway into each other or make any kind of contact. He was still close enough that I could smell him.

  “Oh thank god. Hot Chocolate.” Gemma pulled me from my own head.

  “And it is the best hot chocolate,” I said.

  “Let’s go.” Bianca threaded her arm through mine and pulled me toward Mrs. Steltzer who manned the stand. She had Gemma on the other arm.

  “Oh, that is good.” Gemma moaned after we each had a cup.

  “Told you.”

  “Wait, are those Sal’s gloves?” she asked me.

  “Yeah, he sort of forced me to take them because my hands were cold.”

  “That’s nice,” Bianca said, smiling into her cup.

  “Knock it off.”

  We wandered slowly toward the fountain. The water was off but lights crisscrossed over it making it look like a Christmas tree. I loved this town.

  “You weren’t wrong,” Gio said behind us.

  “About the hot chocolate? I know,” Bianca said back.

  Sal had a cup in his hand too but he didn’t take a drink or comment on the deliciousness.

  “You don’t like it?” I asked.

  “I’m not a big fan of chocolate,” he said back.

  I blinked five times. “There is something seriously wrong with you.”

  “I can’t count how many times I’ve said that,” Gio said with a laugh.

  “Mom and Dad want to head back.” Bianca pointed their way.

  We walked back to Gramps’ as a group, the same way we’d left. Once there I pulled Sal’s gloves off but held onto them for a minute. Even considered just keeping them and hoping he didn’t notice but knew I couldn’t do that.

  “Here are your gloves,” I said. Everyone was busy doing something meaning no one would notice this moment between us. “Thank you.”

  “Not a problem, Bailey.”

  I wet my lips and took two breaths.

  “Why did you give them to me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Back there, why did you basically force me to take them?”

  “I wasn’t going to let you freeze.”

  Simple answer. Something just about anyone would do for anyone else. Yet for some reason, it meant more to me. Maybe I was reading into the situation but a small part of me really hoped I wasn’t.

  I never stayed late on Christmas Eve. Even I knew that the family should have a little time together, though this year, I didn’t know if Gemma and Sal would stay with the Russos. I assumed Gio would since he was with Bianca.

  Still, I should probably get some distance from nice Sal so that psycho Sal didn’t take me by surprise.

  When I got back to my apartment, I only had the chance to change into pajama pants and a long sleeve shirt and turn the TV to some Christmas cartoons when there was a knock at my door.

  Which was weird on Christmas Eve.

  Even weirder was Sal standing there when I opened it.

  “Hi.” His voice wavered just slightly. “Can we talk for a bit?”

  My fight or flight told me to flee. Or have him flee since it was my apartment. I really didn’t want to hear how horrible I was on Christmas Eve. That would suck. But we were going to spend the next day together so maybe it was better to get it over with before tomorrow.

  While I didn’t answer, I did step aside, letting him pass by me and into my apartment.

  “So what’s up?” I plopped on to the couch after he took his coat off.

  Sal scanned my apartment with its modern furniture and bold wall colors.

  “You’ve got a cute place.”

  “Um… thanks, I think. No one ever really comes here, so this is kind of weird for me.”

  “No one?” he asked. I knew what he was getting at and I hated that he brought my past up so quickly. A past he shouldn’t care about.

  “Bianca does. Gio’s been here twice I think. You, now. My parents when they’re in town. Who told you where I live?”

  “Gio.” Sal sat on my couch without me offering.

  Depending on how this little interaction ended up would determine how I’d react with Gio.

  “He told me that I had to talk to you,” he said.

  “Well, you’re a grown ass man who doesn’t have to do something because his cousin says so.”

  “I know. But he’s right.” Sal scooted to the edge of the couch and dropped his elbows to his knees then scraped his fingers through his black hair. “I like you.”

  “Right.” I drew the word out and let my sarcasm shine through. “I can tell.”

  “Can you not do that?”

  I raised an eyebrow to ask what he meant so I wouldn’t have to.

  “The sarcasm. Please.”

  “Ok.” I took a deep breath.

  His voice and demeanor were quiet, cautious, and vulnerable even when he asked so I couldn’t say no if I wanted to. He was looking at his hands, not at me, which further told me this wasn’t easy for him.

  “In all seriousness, Sal, we don’t need to like each other. We don’t even need to be friends. We just need to be able to not be at each other’s throats all the time. Otherwise… ” I swallowed hard. What I was about to say was absolutely true but that didn’t mean I wanted to say it. “I’m going to be out in the cold and Bianca is one of the only people I have. I know that sounds pathetic to you, but I don’t trust anyone the way I trust her.”

  His eyes narrowed toward his fingers. “Why would you be out in the cold?”

  “You’re Gio’s family. I mean, Bianca is my family but you’re actual blood. If one of us has to go, it’s going to be me. I would never make her choose between me and Gio. That’s just not right. So, I’d lose out.”

  He sighed but made no move to look at me. Why wouldn’t he look at me?

  “I like you. And I know it doesn’t make any sense given my behavior but that’s why I’ve been such an ass. That’s not me.”

  “You’re right, that doesn’t make sense.” I dropped back against the arm of the couch and waited. He’d been the jerk. This was on him.

  “I know. I don’t know how to be with someone I like so I figured if I kept you at a distance, all would be right in the world. I wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

  “Ok, so that statement brings up so many questions.”

  “I know.” He nodded then sat back and sighed again.

  This was clearly hard for him. I’d go easy on him but he had to give me some answers.

  “My parents groomed us to basically be corporate spies,” he admitted.

  “What?”

  “Please just let me get through this.”

  I nodded because I’d give him that.

  “When they found a business they wanted to acquire but the owners wouldn’t sell, they’d send one of us to town to be on the inside. Feed them information and maybe try to convince the owners to sell.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “We used sex. We’d seduce the daughter or wife, or whoever they decided would benefit the company most. We made them think we cared. We used them.”

  “Wife?”

  “Sometimes,” he said quietly.

  All the times Bianca had told me there was more to the story of what happened between Gio and her, nothing lik
e this ever came to mind. Not once.

  I wanted to throw up.

  “Gemma and Gio, too?”

  He nodded.

  No wonder Bianca couldn’t tell me this part. They’d been prostituted, used as sex slaves or something I couldn’t put the words to but looking at Sal now, I mean really looking at him, what I thought was him being cocky was likely guilt eating away at his soul.

  My heart ached for him.

  He wasn’t awkward around me because of me. He was awkward with people in general because he didn’t know how not to be. Yet part of me was still angry.

  “Why then did you throw my past in my face when you… ” I didn’t want to say it out loud.

  “Because you own up to it, Bailey. I’ve never met someone like you. Someone who does what she wants. For you, sex isn’t a bad thing and you’re so fucking comfortable with everyone.”

  “Because sex isn’t a bad thing.”

  “Tell that to people like us who have only ever had sex for work. A weapon to wield on some unsuspecting woman. Not because it’s something you want to do.”

  “Wait.” A thought had just occurred to me. “Is this why the first time Bianca was going to have sex with Gio he wouldn’t do it?”

  “What?” Sal smirked having obviously not heard about that particular incident. Serves Gio right. I owed him for the early stuff with Sal, anyway. “Probably. Gio started falling for Bianca very soon after he got here and when it was time to seal the deal, I’m guessing he didn’t want to use her.”

  “So, what now?” I turned my body toward the TV to stretch my short legs out in front of me because they started to cramp as I sat there. “You said you like me.”

  “I do.” His dark eyes burned into mine then across my skin as he watched me stretch my legs. He couldn’t even see skin and yet, I heated up anyway. “I just don’t know what to do with those feelings.” It took everything inside me not to make a sarcastic comment but right then wouldn’t be helpful. “I sound like such a pussy right now, but I haven’t had sex since the last time my parents sent me out and I just don’t know if I can—”

  “Well, that’s putting the cart before the horse don’t you think? How do you even know I’d want to sleep with you?” My lips curled into a smile.