Love by the Mile

by Heather Young-Nichols

  “Getting a drink because we’ve spent hours moving his shit into his house.” Gio pointed across the table at Sal.

  “Ah, moving. Epic fun.”

  “Right.” Sal snorted.

  “Seriously. I love nothing more than moving boxes and furniture. Does a body good.” I looked away from Sal but Bianca’s smirk said he was inspecting just how good moving might do my body. One of the two across the table from me had to pick up what I was implying. If they didn’t, I was going to have to unfriend them in real life.

  “Well we’re going back there in a few minutes,” Gio said. “We could use an extra set of hands. Probably have another couple hours of shit to do.”

  “I am in the middle of a big game over there, lots at stake, but if you’re still here when I finish I’d love to help.”

  “Bailey,” Isaac yelled across the bar. “Come the fuck on already.”

  “Oops. Gotta go.” I grabbed Sal’s beer and took a nice long drink then headed back to my friends.

  I grabbed my stick from Isaac and leaned over to take my shot. It didn’t even matter what the shot was. It was all about the location.

  “Why’s that guy staring at your ass like it holds the meaning of life?” my high school friend Stacey asked.

  “Because he wants me but thinks he’s not good enough for me.”

  “Yup. That’s how he’s looking at you.” She nodded with a knowing look on her face.

  “Maybe he’s not good enough for you.” Isaac elbowed me.

  “And you are?”

  “Hey, I just want you writhing beneath me for a few hours. I don’t care about the other stuff.”

  “A few hours… aren’t you adorable.”

  The rest of our group laughed loud enough to pull in the attention of the whole bar including the table of my people.

  I had selfish motives for offering to help move Sal into his house and it wasn’t because I loved it so much. I wanted to know where he lived and kind of take the temperature of where we were regarding the idea of friendship.

  Was he even comfortable to be around me? I didn’t know so I had to find out somehow.

  I drove over to the house Bianca told me he bought and I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes. He’d bought the one house I actually loved in all of Harbor Point. I knew I’d never mentioned it to him so I thought his purchase had more to do with location than anything else.

  “I can’t believe you bought the Dougan house?”

  I glanced around the house Bianca and I had sat in front of when we were kids making up stories about the people who lived inside because they never showed their faces in public. Apparently, they were just old and homebound, but it still helped keep things interesting to think they were vampires who couldn’t come out in the daylight but stalked the town at night.

  “This place is beautiful.”

  It was one of the oldest houses in town but fully restored with updated amenities. The original woodwork stood the test of time and as with all the houses in Harbor Point it wasn’t overly huge. I’d guess three bedrooms, a couple of baths with an office/den and all the normal stuff that was standard in our area. Probably a lot like Gio’s two doors down. Sal wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to be near family.

  “Here.” Gio shoved a pretty heavy box in my arms. “Kitchen.”

  I began laughing so hard at the fact that the big strong man pushed that thing off onto the much smaller girl that I almost dropped the box. Thankfully, I recovered enough to get it in there and push it onto the counter.

  Without thinking, I opened that box and started unpacking like I owned the place. Suddenly there was a stack of plates on the counter, silverware in the drawers, and cups on a shelf in the cupboard where I thought they belonged.

  “What are you doing?” Sal watched me from his perch near the living room with a shoulder against the wall.

  “I… ” A nervous laugh took over. “I have no idea.” Carefully I set the cups I still had in my hand down on the counter. “Sorry.”

  “You can unpack the whole house if you want.”

  Cocking my head to the side I narrowed my eyes, “Probably not the best idea. Girls don’t like to know that the ex-girlfriend set up your house. It makes them uncomfortable.”

  Sal snorted then he shook his head and looked away to keep from smiling.

  “Ok, that’s all of it.” Gio interrupted our moment. “We’re outta here.” He turned to leave but thought better of it. “You coming, Bailey?”

  “Yup.” Grabbing my coat off the end of the island where I’d dropped it, I made sure to let my arm brush his as I passed.

  One thing was for sure, having him in Harbor Point wasn’t as easy for me as I was making it seem. That was all for show. However, in return, I was going to make it as hard on him as I possibly could. And not by being a psycho ex-girlfriend. But by being the friend I started out as.

  ***

  St. Patty’s Day was pretty big in Harbor Point which I didn’t understand. There was nothing inherently Irish about the town. We were a big mix of ethnicities, but it was a reason to celebrate, which the town loved to do.

  The weather was warming up just enough that made being out in the hoopla bearable and encouraged people to have a reason to drink in public.

  Bianca and I went every year and for the first time, Gio was going to experience the joy that was cheap green beer, green cookies, and anything else food, coloring could go into—Harbor Point style.

  “Gio, you don’t understand,” I said as we stepped out onto their front porch on our way to the celebration. “Bianca and I will be eating ourselves sick. We will be throwing up green. That’s how it works. Chicago St. Patty’s has nothing on us.”

  Most wouldn’t think I was the type of girl to participate in the town festivities but I loved everything we put on.

  “Great. Looking forward to it.”

  He was not, the stupid liar.

  We were on our way down the steps when Sal burst through his door two houses down and jogged out to his car parked on the street. Why was it parked on the street and not in his garage? I didn’t know and it was dumb that I even thought about it.

  “Is he coming with us?” I asked them.

  “Didn’t ask,” Gio answered. “I don’t know what the fuck’s going on with you two. I know you’re not together but can we all still hang out?”

  Sighing, I took things into my own hands, told them I’d be right back and walked the two house lengths down to Sal’s. He was leaning into his car and I stood behind him to wait.

  “Oh shit.” He startled when he turned around and I was standing there.

  “Sorry.” I laughed. “We’re going to the St. Patty’s celebration. Want to come with us?”

  “That’s all right,” he said while shaking his head.

  “Look, I didn’t know Gio didn’t ask you because he thought it’d be weird. It won’t be weird for me and it’s fun. Will it be weird for you?”

  “Probably.” At least he was honest, I guess. “But not enough to stop me from going. I’ll meet you guys at Romano’s in fifteen minutes and we can go from there. Does that work?”

  Oh yeah. That worked.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Gio, Bianca, and I went right to Romano’s to wait for Sal. I would’ve preferred we just wait at the house but that wasn’t my call.

  Once we were all together, the four of us started down one side of the street much like we had at Christmas. It really was the best way to ensure we didn’t miss any of the kiosks.

  Green cookies with green apple cider at the first stand kicked off the day. We stopped at the stand with T-shirts reading “Kiss Me I’m Irish”, just to see what they had new this year.

  “Unfortunately I’m not Irish,” I said shaking my head.

  Somehow one of the food stands turned meat on a stick green. It tasted as gross as it looked. Yet for some reason, Bianca and I still ate it while Gio and Sal looked on, their faces pinched in disgust.


  “You two are fearless,” Gio said.

  “You should try it. It’s so gross,” I said.

  “Why would I eat it then?”

  I shrugged. “We do every year just hoping it gets better.”

  “It never does,” Bianca said then chuckled.

  Bianca and I knew what we were doing but the two killjoys with us barely partook in anything. At the end of the street, the town council had a small carnival with rides. Didn’t really fit the theme but at least the council made some money from it and we got to have fun.

  One of my favorite rides was called the Tilt-A-Whirl and it spun riders around until they felt like throwing up. Another had the same idea but they called it The scrambler and it stayed flat on the ground where the Tilt-A-Whirl tilted.

  “So we’re going on those, yes?” My smile wouldn’t allow Bianca to say no the way she tried to every year.

  “I hate those,” she said like clockwork.

  My smile stayed and I widened my eyes, waiting for her to give in.

  “Ugh, fine. You need to grow up.”

  “Why is that? So I can puss out like you?”

  Bianca laughed.

  “You’re being mean so I’m taking Gio on it with me and you get to ride all alone,” she said then stuck her tongue out at me. Then she remembered that Sal was there with us. He’d been very quiet. Made his presence easy to forget. “Or not. Whatever. Come on, Gio.” Bianca pushed him away from us toward the ride.

  “Are you drunk or something?” Sal asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Um, there hasn’t been any alcohol in anything we’ve had to drink so unfortunately no. Why?”

  “You seem a little different.”

  “This is one of the rare times that we get to be silly. So come on.” I grabbed his hand and tugged. “Let’s be silly.”

  Surprisingly he let me lead him toward the little ride. With everything I’d eaten on our walk down the street, I wouldn’t be surprised if I did actually throw up. That’d be something to impress Sal… only the opposite.

  He let me get on first then followed behind. Once the security bar was locked into place, the breaks on the Tilt-A-Whirl released and we swung around to the low spot. Then the motor engaged. Slowly at first, the much faster, we swung around in one circle after another.

  Centrifugal force pushed me into Sal and into the metal backing. Sal didn’t hang on at all and he laughed every time I screamed.

  The scrambler had the same idea only it slammed me into him harder. I sure didn’t mind being that close to him. It was the only way I actually got to be close physically.

  After riding all six attractions, we started the walk back down Main Street where and ate everything from green apple cotton candy to these delicious green pastries. I steered mostly clear of the cheap, green beer. Actually we each drank the equivalent to one. The beer was really cheap and the green didn’t help the appeal. Yet we had to drink one because it was tradition.

  “I think I’m going to need some hot chocolate.”

  “Green hot chocolate?” Sal asked.

  “I think regular. If I never see anything green again, I’m perfectly OK with that.”

  Bianca’s full shiver sent Gio into action.

  I’d never seen a man jump as quickly as he did when it came to her. I had to be thankful that things worked out between those two. Bianca deserved someone who would jump for her and someone she’d jump right back for.

  Sal left with Gio, and Bianca turned on me like a rabid monkey. “Why’s he being so nice to you?”

  “Maybe because I invited him instead of making him feel left out?”

  “Fair point. Has he told you what happened the night you two broke up?” She glanced nervously over her shoulder as if she was worried about getting caught in a covert operation.

  “No. Do you know what happened?”

  She shook her head quickly. “But I heard him and Gio talking. All I could really make out was Gio saying ‘just fucking tell her already. Quit being a pussy.’”

  We both laughed because that really sounded like Gio.

  “Obviously they were talking about you,” she said bouncing on her toes. “But, gah, I just want to know already.”

  “You want to know? Hello?” I folded my arms in front of me.

  “Oh.” She jumped like she got startled. “Haven’t had a chance to tell you. That night we saw you in the bar—” her words were almost running together she wanted to get it out so fast “—Sal was peppering me with questions and he couldn’t take his eyes off you. I think he regrets breaking up with you. Maybe there’s still hope.”

  “If he wanted me back I think I’ve made it pretty clear he could have me. But what kind of questions?”

  “Just like are you with Isaac now or anyone else for that matter. Have you been dating which I think was code for have you hooked up with anyone else. Stuff like that.”

  “Here they come,” I whispered with a harshness aimed more at the guys for returning than at her because I wanted more questions answered. But I’d have to deal with that later.

  Gio’s effort to get Bianca hot chocolate didn’t go unrewarded. She thanked him with a quick kiss when he handed her the cup.

  Then a cup appeared in front of me. Surprising? Yes. Confusing? Hell yes.

  “Thanks.” I smiled up at Sal.

  I shouldn’t have let my thoughts go there but I really wanted the cup of hot chocolate to represent more than just Sal being nice. He knew how to be nice and thoughtful. But after my conversation with Bianca, I really hoped something else was going on.

  As we got back to Romano’s, Bianca said she wasn’t feeling well. Maybe she just wanted to get Gio alone because those two were like rabbits and that was the excuse.

  Or she wanted to leave Sal and me some time on our own.

  Either way, I called out a goodbye then kept walking. Bianca had picked me up that morning so we could all leave from their house. Since we returned to Romano’s where we’d met Sal, I could just walk the few blocks home. I didn’t need to go back to the house.

  Sal continued walking beside me without a word like he was just going to walk me all the way home. This could be good or he was being nice.

  I hated all the uncertainty.

  “I’m a big girl. I can make it home by myself.”

  “I know.” Yet he didn’t stop and still kept walking with me.

  “I’m being serious here because I’m thinking about stopping for dinner so… ”

  “How can you eat again?”

  “That was snacking,” I said. “And my stomach should be studied by science.”

  “Want some company?”

  “Uh… sure.”

  When we got to the diner, we chose a corner booth and both ordered a burger and fries which surprised me. Sal usually ate healthily but we were at a diner.

  “So, what’s up?” I asked.

  “Not much. You?”

  “Come on you wouldn’t come eat with me if you didn’t have something on your mind. It’s not like we hang out these days. So, spill.”

  Sal shifted against the pleather seat.

  “I just thought we could hang out. Maybe talk.” A little smile played at the corner of his lips. “Gio says I need to stop being a pussy.”

  I snorted in return. Second time today I’d heard that.

  Hope surged through me since that was exactly what Bianca had overheard and thought, correctly, it was about me. Plus, I thought I’d heard he was ready to have gender reassignment surgery before he’d tell me about that damn email. I only hoped he was ready to finally open up about the email.

  “Hey, Margie,” I called out to our waitress. “Can we get our orders to go, please?”

  Margie nodded and headed to the kitchen. She was pretty used to me changing my mind sometimes.

  “We’re leaving?” Sal stared at me wide-eyed and confused.

  I shrugged. “I’m assuming this conversation might be better in private. My apartment’s just around
the corner.”

  Sal didn’t disagree then slid out of the booth.

  He carried the takeout bag back to my apartment.

  We settled on my couch and I picked at my fries while waiting for him to get up the courage to speak. Courage or ability anyway.

  He was taking way too long. My thoughts wandered over to the fact that he was once again in my apartment and got a little giddy with that because it was at the very least a step in the right direction.

  “You were right. This is better.” He popped a fry in his mouth but I could tell the bite wasn’t sitting well. He nervously ran his hands down the front of his pants twice, which made me feel bad. “Can I ask you something first?”

  I nodded because Sal could always ask me anything. Time may have passed but spending the day with him just made it all the more evident how much I still loved him and would give anything to have him in my life, even if it was just as friends.

  “How come you never said it again?” he asked but I had no idea what he was talking about.

  “Said what?”

  “In Chicago, you told me you loved me but you never said it again.”

  Thinking back to every memory I had of us together I realized he was right.

  I had only said it that one time.

  “I don’t know.” I sighed long and hard. “I guess… I didn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable. Just because I didn’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t still feel it.”

  A pregnant moment passed as he struggled with whatever he wanted to tell me. All I knew was that I wanted to hear it. I don’t know why because it wouldn’t make much difference. Still, I wanted to hear what was on his mind.

  “So are you going to tell me what happened? Where things went wrong?” I finally asked when remained quiet.

  “You don’t fuck around do you?”

  “I can’t afford to. I want answers. Last I knew I was in a relationship then bam, I’m not.” My anger was starting to grow from the small knot in my stomach to a full flame in my veins. The heat of anger rose in my throat burning and drying it out. I couldn’t sit still another second.

  I jumped up and paced a path in the carpet. Then I stopped.

  “I promised you I’d walk away and I did, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t fucking hurt.”