Cruise to Mayhem

by David P. Remy

  Then, one evening, surfing the web for pastime, she read the “Seeking Nurse Caretaker” advertisements on a local medical website. “Immediate interview requested. Good pay. Travel opportunities. Excellent financial benefits. Apply through this website’s reply function.” She decided to take a chance when she thought over the travel opportunities phrase. She filled in the application form on the website and hit the send button. The very next day…the surprise of her life…she was hired for the position.

  She met with a gentleman who identified himself as Sam’s relative, a grandson. He introduced her to Sam and discussed Sam’s medical condition and requirements. The grandson said he worked for a cruise line and offered her the job with an immediate cruise in a week. Breath couldn’t resist. It offered both a job and some R & R. All the arrangements were handled by the grandson, Hans Stydd.

  Back to the present, she had to admit that her attention to Sam’s care this morning was divided by her growing fascination with Led. He had a really charming way about him. Innocence you rarely find in the modern male of the mating age variety. That whole scene how he took charge and cared about Sam in his wheelchair. Besides, all through the meal, he was attentive to everyone at the table, especially me. She liked that, she reflected, a whole bunch.

  There was that awkward moment when Charlie made that silly insinuation. Even with that, Led’s response showed sensitivity and a mature attitude. A whole lot different than the majority of the guys she had recently dated. They were into the fast and frisky approach…more like high school boys with a hyper load of testosterone in their veins rather than blood.

  Led seemed to have something about him that attracted her…tempted her… to find out more about this possible shipboard romance. She went through her wardrobe and selected one of her latest and, hopefully, most alluring sun deck outfits. She was well aware of the appearance factor of the female upon the male. She didn’t want to miss making that first impression a real knockout.

  ****

  There was a knock on Sam’s door. Before he could roll his wheelchair to the door, he heard the card key inserted and the door opened.

  “Mind if I come in? asked Hans Stydd, the North Star’s Chief Engineer and Sam’s grandson.

  “Good morning, Hans. Please do come in. Have a seat. Breath just went out to the pool deck. She deserves to have a good time rather than being imprisoned with an old man like myself.”

  “We were fortunate to contract her services. Its good experience for her as well as presenting her with a nice vacation. I’m sure she will enjoy it after her long year of studies. So, how is it going so far?”

  “Hans, I’m still in shock about being here with you and more so the unbelievable reality of being out of our country. I never dreamed it could be possible. I lived a long, dreary, hopeless life back there.” Sam’s closed his eyes and tears began to form.

  “Now, now, Granddad, please don’t cry. That’s all behind you now. Just open your eyes and see the beauty surrounding you today.” Hans brought Sam’s hands down from covering his tearful eyes and gently patted him on the shoulder.

  “Yes, thank you, my dear grandson. I am not acting very grateful at this moment. Please forgive my senseless behavior. I have so much to be grateful to you about.” Sam looked at Hans with a large smile, nodding his head up and down. “It seems like a miracle…that I’m free.”

  “You worked hard and suffered your whole life, Granddad. Now, enjoy the carefree years you still have left ahead of you.”

  Carefree, maybe, but definitely not guilt free.

  ****

  Breath changed into her sun deck attire in record time. She was totally energized with her new found infatuation over the newly acquired and enticing young man in her ship board life. It happened quickly, but a cruise had a limited number of days before expiration and it all became only a blurred memory. She wasn’t going to let the passing of time be her loss. A mighty catch might be at hand. “Hey,” she quipped to herself, “my proverbial biological clock is ticking away.” Breath was bound and determined not to surrender a moment without a major struggle to beat the clock.

  Breath took the elevator to the lido deck on eleven. She discovered the towel station in the pool area and checked out a large, fluffy towel with the huge RDC logo impressed into the fabric, dyed with the company’s adopted colors. Impressive.

  “May I help you, Miss?” The towel attendant smiled his best trained smile.

  “How do I do this?” Breath demurred.

  “I just need your SeaRide card to check out the number of towels you’d like. When you need fresh ones, just bring them back here and I’ll exchange them for you with fresh ones. When you are finished, turn them in and I’ll credit your account. There’s a charge for each towel not returned. It will be automatically billed to your SeaRide card.”

  “That seems simple enough, Jorge.” She liked the name tags. Made for instant recognition in an age that valued instant everything. Even instant romance.

  “I’ll take just one towel, please.” The transaction was completed and Breath moved aside.

  As she brushed alongside the towel exchange counter, she read a sign propped on top of the counter which touted that guests could purchase the towel for $20.00. She snickered to herself thinking she could buy five towels for that price back home…sans logo. Anyway, no temptation since she hadn’t even collected her first pay checks, yet.

  Scanning the pool crowd, she knew she wouldn’t find Led among them, but wanted to build her inventory about the type of people who were fast becoming her fellow cruisers. A large majority of middle age couples, sprinkled with a few children horsing around in the kiddies’ pool. The sun bathers were less than thrilled with their splashing in the pool. Oblivious to the children’s’ shenanigans, the parents continued lounging in their deck chairs, several with a drink with dazzling colors in a souvenir shape glass, all topped with an umbrella and a straw.

  “Excuse me, Danny, could you tell me how to find the surf rider?” Breath was getting into the instant recognition factor quickly. Danny was a roving bar drink attendant, along with his adopted hobby of scanning and evaluating the female pool loungers.

  Not blind to the beauty immediately before his eyes, Danny responded, “Yes, Senorita, it is up two decks and all the way to the aft of the ship. Back that way…” he indicated with his hand. Of course, he noted her with practiced subtlety. Breath located the nearest set of stairs and climbed up from the pool and headed toward the back. “To the aft”, she smiled to herself.

  The surf rider spaces were packed with teenagers and young adults, for the most part. Each standing in line awaiting their turn to have the chance to learn how to surf or, for repeat offenders, to exhibit their already achieved expertise. Breath took a seat on the three tier set of bleachers which gave the surfers their audience of admirers or hecklers.

  Led had just placed his feet into the head waters of the surf rider and had his surf board poised. His focus was on positioning himself for the plunge onto the surface of the water being jetted out, flowing fiercely over the shallow bottom. With his intense focus on conquering the rushing surf, he failed to notice Breath taking her seat in the bleachers. When he was standing in line, he had been watching for her, not knowing exactly when she might appear to observe his manly performance.

  Primed to lift off and bounce onto the board, in perfect sync, his eyes spotted the budding love of his life…well, of this cruise, anyway.

  Losing his focus for that nano second cost him big time. He hit the water with the lack of balance required and in less time than you can say, “Look at me, Breath, ain’t I great”, the water came crashing with a heartless surge and wiped him out, but good. His bad. Total embarrassment. Macho man defeated in front of his admiring beauty.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The Tango club lounge was a large bright room with bulkheads of floor to ceiling windows allowing a luscious view of the sea. Usually empty at the time of Lucky’s arrival, except for the
cleaning crew person, the space would soon host yet another group of cruisers. This time, the group would be looking to enjoying a half hour of heavenly endeavor instead of the usual worldly activities and entertainment provided in these environs.

  “I think the table for the altar would be best right here. Let’s put the mike and music stand on this side.” Father Lucky was directing Nicole, the cruise activities’ staff person who had been assigned to help with the setup. Having clergy onboard was a rare occurrence so the staff people weren’t as experienced with the necessary setup as they would be for other providers of enrichment programs like the destination lecturers.

  “I’ll get the table cloth,” Nicole offered. “Would you prefer blue or yellow? Sorry, those are the only options we have back here. I might be able to get a white one from dining services, if you prefer.”

  “Blue will work.” Lucky responded. He knew better than to have Nicole try to beg a white table cloth at this time of the morning. Lucky and Nicole continued transforming the Tango club usually used as a cocktail and dance lounge, into the chapel setting for the daily morning service.

  As the time clicked away, the early birds began filtering in. They found a soft rocker chair in lieu of the usual hard wood pew. A few others, on occasion, would just wander through the area looking for a place to take pictures or smoke. The Tango club was one of the designated smoking areas on the ship. When these folks noticed the chapel setting in the middle of the dance floor, they hightailed out of the area. No smoking in church.

  When time came to begin, Lucky had amassed around twenty five attendees. He stepped into the middle of the group with his mic and began with the welcome. He then proceeded directly into the assortment of housekeeping announcements about the service aboard the North Star. He announced that there was to be no smoking during the service and no drinks would be available from the bar. Of course, this evoked a degree of laughter.

  Promptly at eight o’clock, Lucky proceeded with the service. He had requested help with the service and there was a guest who had brought his guitar. He offered to play. This prompted the idea of a choir, which resulted with Lucky having an impromptu music program. The guitar player’s name was Bob. All the vocal volunteers for this first service were ladies, so they dubbed the group, “Bob and the Bobbettes”.

  Unhappy with the distraction, Lucky kept being bothered about the anonymous request of yesterday for the meeting with the telephone caller for later that evening. He silently sneaked in a prayer that it would be a fixable problem. Most problems were, as he knew from his years of ministry, but once in awhile, a doozy would come across his watch. This one felt strange, falling into the category of a real doozy.

  The service went well and ended in about a half hour. Lucky was putting his service items away after the service when he sensed someone behind him. Just as he turned around to greet the visitor…

  “Well, Joyce, looky here. I never would have dreamed that you were the Father when we first met the other day.” Yes, it was good old Charlie. He and Joyce had finished their breakfast and decided to explore the Tango Club lounge and visit with their new found pastor, Father Lucky.

  “We’re so happy that you are on this cruise, Father. I had called ahead to ask whether there would be a clergyman aboard. The office wasn’t sure, so we were really thrilled when we say the service announcement in the daily plan bulletin.” Joyce was at her best sweetly gushing.

  Lucky had heard that complaint more than once. Since RDC only sponsored clergy on board for the high holy days, the information staff at the 800 number was never certain which ships might or might not have a traveling clergy person aboard. The safest response to give was an uncertain one.

  “I guess my powers of intuition weren’t working too accurately when we met. I think the traveling companion threw me off.” Charlie actually blushed, if you counted turning a slightly deeper shade of red on top of his rosaceous tinged skin.

  “No problem, Charlie. It’s good to think that you and Joyce might be planning on attending the service. You know, we pastors are always looking for more of the faithful to attend.”

  “Oh, Charlie is always sticking his nose into other peoples’ business.”

  “Old habits die hard, Joyce. Anyway, Cuddles, we need to get out of the Padre’s hair and head for the theatre. There’s a lecture about pirates, today, Padre. And, after that, I sure we’ll be ready for a little brunch. Something tells me that by then I’ll be starving.

  ****

  “Life is like gravity. It all falls into place.” Lucky consoled Led.

  “Did you have to use the word ‘falls’? I’m so washed out. Thrown off the board a few seconds after she got there. What a loser.” Led wailed on and on. Life, for the young, offers such drama.

  Squashing his involuntary laugh, “well, since it was such a world crushing disaster, look at it this way, Led…you can only climb up the impression scale in Breath’s estimation. Make lemonade out of lemons.”

  “Awh, there you go again.”

  “Whaaat?” Lucky bayed.

  “Water. You make lemonade with water. Made me think of my surf rider fiasco.”

  “I’m happy you know that water and lemon juice make lemonade.” Led rolled his eyes.

  “Yeah, whatever.” Led sighed in resignation.

  His face suddenly lit up. “But, hey, old man, all is not lost. Breath and I are going to meet for lunch in the Cantina cafe.” Led’s life had come full circle in less than a fraction of a second.

  “I heard that they have the best tacos and enchiladas. Breath said they don’t have much Mexican food where she’s from, so she thought it was a cool idea of mine.”

  “Right, you are the original cool man, Led,” …said along with a fake “excuse me” as Lucky dug an elbow into Led’s ribs. Led quickly returned the playful jab, twice. Led smiled. He was into one upmanship when it came to elbowing.

  Another “father-son” session successfully completed?

  ****

  Breath had to be extremely in control not to burst out in uproarious laughter when Led was thrown from the board. She knew that Led desperately wanted to impress her. Being a tad more experienced than Led in the dating game, Breath understood the sensitive dynamics that were developing between them. She was turned on by Led’s boyish innocence conjoined to his manly body. Nice combo.

  The Cantina café was an informal restaurant set for lunch. In the evening, it was reservations only. Led and Breath seated themselves at a table for two alongside the windows overlooking the ocean passing by. Breath had changed into a more appropriate outfit for lunch. Led was disappointed. The outfit had more material covering his leading lady’s body. Alas, less eye appeal.

  They ordered a double order of tacos and enchiladas along with two glasses of ice tea. The chips and salsa had been preset on the table. Led had built up a huge appetite due to his morning surfing escapade. He felt he had all he could handle to reign in his overpowering urge to grab and chomp down all the chips before Breath even had a chance at a few for herself. This lunch was going to prove to be OJT, on the job training, for being the gentleman. Not the kind of exercise that Led enjoyed.

  “What’s it like taking care of Sam?” Led really wanted to learn everything personal about Breath, but he thought it the safer course to begin asking about her job.

  “I’ve only worked at the job for a couple of weeks, but it’s perfect, so far. Sam is a real sweetheart even if he has a multitude of health challenges. He’s proving to be a great patient for my first experience. I’m learning a lot.” Breath’s face filled with pride.

  “I’m really impressed with how well you handle him. I couldn’t do that kind of work.” Led dipped his handful of chips into the salsa bowel.

  “I don’t know about that. I observed how you took charge the first night getting Sam to the table. I’d give you an ‘A+’ for that procedure.” Now Breath was tickling Led’s ego. And she knew it.

  “Thanks, Breath. I need to be honest
. I do like helping people, but I was more motivated to help because a very beautiful lady was alongside him.” Led must have learned somewhere along the way how to tickle the ego, also.

  They munched on lunch and parlayed questions and answers across to one another as they tried to get to know each other better. After ordering fried ice cream for dessert, Breath’s mood shifted to the more serious.

  “Maybe I shouldn’t say this being that we only met, but I do have a concern.” She hesitated, but decided to trust her instincts about Led. “I don’t know anything about Sam. His grandson introduced us, but he didn’t offer any details about his history.” She hurried to add, “and, for that matter, I don’t know much more about Hans, the grandson, either, except that he works in the engineering department on this ship.”

  “Why do you need to know more about Sam?” Led was curious.

  “I just have this eerie feeling that Sam was in some kind of an institution…for a long time. He doesn’t seem connected with the details of daily life. Of course, that could be the effects of some form of aging problem. But, I don’t feel that is the case with him. I’m confused about it and I don’t feel all that good about it.” Breath looked at Led with a sense of some relief that she had shared it with someone who would care.

  “Maybe you should try the direct approach and ask Sam,” Led advised.

  “I’ve thought about that, too. We are getting to know each other better as patient and nurse, so he might be receptive to trusting me better and giving me more insight into his life.” As Breath was sharing this, their hands had reached across the table, over the empty chip basket and salsa bowel, and they weaved their fingers together.