Monogamy

by Susan X Meagher

  "That’s strangely reassuring," Ally said, her teeth glinting in the warm light. "I’m used to some pretty awesome sex – so long as I’m completely in control."

  "Tell me what that means," Sara asked. "Tell me how you like to have sex."

  Sara could both see and hear the larger woman swallow, but Ally forced herself to answer. "I … I have to control everything – totally everything. I have to make the first move, even deciding when to kiss her for the first time. I want her to be totally compliant – to follow my lead, and let me take her where she needs to go."

  "Mmm …" Sara’s sultry voice purred. "Sounds divine."

  "Yeah … well …" Ally tried to get some moisture back into her mouth, then she continued. "I need to undress my partner, then I have to decide how to love her. I don’t want any direction."

  "Mmm … what idiot would want to direct you when it’s clear you know what you’re doing?" Sara said, her warm voice sending tingles down Ally’s spine.

  "Uh-huh." Her voice was much higher than normal, but Ally continued. "Then I try to make my partner lose her rational mind. I uhm … get a lot of pleasure out of making a woman beg me to make her come. Nothing makes me hotter than to have a woman writhing under me, moaning insensibly," she whispered, unconsciously drawing closer to Sara. "I want her shaking with desire, unable to form a coherent sentence. Her body craving release so feverishly that she’s nearly faint."

  "Oh, God, I want that," Sara gasped, wrapping her arms around Ally and pulling her tight against her body.

  "Whoa!" Ally’s eyes flew open and she pulled away roughly. "What happened?" Her heart was beating wildly, and she wanted to put her clothes on and bolt, but she forced herself to stay and try to at least appear calm.

  "Oh, Ally, I’m sorry," Sara said quickly. "I … you … I just got carried away. I promise I won’t do it again."

  The larger woman shook her head, then absently patted her friend. "It’s okay. I … I’m pretty sure you didn’t drag me over to your side of the bed. I … I’m very, very attracted to you, Sara. Lying in bed with you and not doing what my body’s telling me to do is damned near torture."

  "What does you body tell you to do?" Sara asked, her hand reaching out to touch Ally’s.

  "Huh-uh. No way." The larger woman chuckled softly. "If I tell you, I’ll wind up doing it, and that’s not how I want to start. We’ve got to slow down."

  "We say that a lot, don’t we?" Sara asked, laughing.

  "Yeah, I guess we do." Ally rolled over and hovered above Sara, staring into her warm eyes for a moment, her resolve wavering the longer she did so. "Let’s go to sleep before we get into any more trouble. Can I kiss you goodnight?"

  "Yes." Ally leaned into her, allowing their breasts to compress together. Then she opened her mouth just a touch and let her lips caress the incredibly soft mouth. Only her strong will kept her from abandoning her decision and ravaging the ever-so-willing woman, but she broke the kiss after a few seconds, already feeling her breathing go ragged. "This sleeping together thing is harder than I thought," she murmured, her eyes filled with desire.

  "It is. Much harder than I remember from prior attempts." Sara ruffled Ally’s sandy hair and offered, "Let me try to help you sleep. Come on, lie on your side."

  Ally raised an eyebrow, but complied, rolling over to face the window. Sara scooted up behind her and started to stroke her body soothingly, letting her touch glide over her clothing. "Just relax, Ally. We won’t do one thing before you’re ready. Not one thing."

  After a few minutes, the larger woman began to relax, letting Sara’s soft touch calm her heart and her libido. "Nice. Very nice," she murmured, feeling her body grow heavy.

  "Take nice, deep breaths," Sara said, "Relax and feel my touch."

  "Sleepy," Ally sighed.

  "Yeah, sleepy." Sara snuggled up against her back, smiling when Ally reached around and grasped her hand, tucking it firmly between her breasts.

  Feeling the strong, slow beat of Ally’s heart underneath her fingertips, Sara kissed the back of her neck and snuggled even closer. "G’night, Ally. Sleep tight."

  Early the next morning, Sara slowly emerged from a very vivid dream to find that her reality was a near-perfect match for her dream. Ally was lying on her back, and Sara was cradled up tight to her side, her head resting on the muscular chest – feeling the slow cadence of the other woman’s heartbeat. It was such a peaceful feeling, that she wished she’d never have to move – but it was a workday, and her alarm was set to go off in only 5 minutes. Deciding to make use of every precious moment, she started to trail her hand up and down Ally’s side, trying to wake her slowly so the alarm didn’t startle her.

  The larger woman was obviously not in favor of waking up at all. She rolled over on her side, taking Sara with her – pinning the brunette to the bed with a good portion of weight atop her. This position was even nicer – to feel the sheer size of the woman who she was coming to care for deeply, and feel the trust that Ally obviously placed in her to be this unguarded and vulnerable.

  All too soon the moment ended, and Sara reached over with a free hand to turn off the alarm seconds before it was scheduled to ring. It wasn’t easy, but she slowly extricated herself from Ally’s hold, then stood by the side of the bed and merely watched her sleep – with not a single sign that Ally was going to wake in the near future. The larger woman stretched out, and in seconds was lying on her belly, right in the middle of the bed, Sara’s still-warm pillow held in one arm.

  Going into the bath, Sara took a quick shower and blew her hair dry, then tiptoed around her dim room trying to get her clothes together. When she had everything she needed, she went into the living room to get dressed, managing to do a good job even without a full-length mirror. Going back into her room, she sprayed on a whiff of perfume, then sat down to write Ally a note. They hadn’t discussed their plans for the day, but Sara crept over to the bed and noted that Ally’s watch alarm was set, and she hoped it was set for the correct time.

  Placing the note on her pillow, she blew her a kiss and found her briefcase in the living room, then headed out.

  Two hours later, a very groggy, slightly grumpy woman finally woke, stretching thoroughly as she called out, "Sara?"

  Her hand hit the paper, and she chuckled as she read the note.

  Hi sleepyhead,

  It’s only six, and I know you don’t like to get up this early. So, you have a few options – you can take my car home if you’d like. The keys are on the front table, and I wouldn’t mind a bit. Or, you can do it the hard way and take the bus. I’d take the easy way out if I were you – and then I’ll have a very good excuse to see you again soon.

  By the way, my hand was running across some very, very firm skin and taut muscle last night. What was that line you were feeding me about losing so much of your tone from eating a cookie? You’re still as hard as a rock, Ms. Webster, so don’t try to play the weakling with me.

  I really enjoyed our night together, and I hope you did, too. Knowing you better makes me care for you more and more, Ally. I really appreciate that you let me hold you and cuddle with you – I know that’s not easy for you, and I admire you for taking the risk.

  Have a nice day, and feel free to call me at the office if you need anything. I have almost nothing in my refrigerator, so don’t expect much help there, but I have a nice shower with some good-smelling products that you can use. Indulge!

  Sara

  Ally lay on her back and read the note several more times. Gotta love a woman who’s not afraid to say what’s on her mind. This one is definitely getting under my skin. A soft laugh bubbled up as she added, And she has a parking space!

  Ally chose to take the hard way and took the bus home – unwilling to leave Sara without her car. But before she left, she called her at the office to let her know her plans.

  "Sara Andrews."

  "Is this Sara Andrews, cuddle queen?"

  "The one and the same. Do I take it that this is All
y Webster, able to sleep through a 4.0 earthquake and not budge?"

  "It is, but only when I’m being snuggled thoroughly. I don’t sleep very soundly when I’m alone."

  "Well, we’ll just have to do something about that," Sara stated logically. "Your rest is of prime concern, you know."

  "Thanks," Ally said. "I’d like that, too. I’m gonna take the bus home – maybe stop and grab some breakfast on the way. I’m uhm … busy tonight, but I’d love to see you soon. How about tomorrow?"

  "I have to work tomorrow, but we could get together kinda late so I could take a nap after I get home from the office."

  "That sounds fine. How about 9 o’clock?"

  "That’s good. Let’s get dinner on our own so we don’t have to worry about it."

  "Okay. Come by my place around 9 – well fed and well rested. I look forward to seeing you."

  "Me, too. See you then, Ally."

  Part 3

  On Friday night, Ryan dragged into the house at 6:15, tossed her bicycle helmet onto the front table, and called out, "I’m home, babe." Idly looking through the mail, she barely noticed when Jamie came up behind her and wrapped her in a hug.

  "How’s my sweaty girl?" the blonde asked. "Ready for dinner?"

  "Yeah, I guess." Ryan turned around and gave her partner a proper hug. "Let me go get out of these wet clothes, okay?"

  "Sure, honey." She pulled back and gazed at Ryan for a moment. "You okay?"

  "Yeah, sure. Glad it’s Friday, though. It’s been an extraordinarily long week. I guess it’s gonna take me some time to get used to practicing every day."

  "That’s probably it," Jamie said, patting her lightly. "Go take a quick shower. You’ll feel better."

  "’Kay."

  Ryan started up the stairs, and Jamie could just see the fatigue in her body. Of course, you might be tired because you’re up before dawn riding your bike for two hours every morning, and another hour after softball … but I’m not going to say ‘I told you so.’

  Over dinner, Jamie put on her brightest smile and asked, "So, how do you think your first week of practice went?"

  "All right," Ryan said, nodding while she chewed thoughtfully. "I really do like the other girls, and the coach is pretty cool. The assistants are nice, too. I think it’s gonna work out. I just have to shake this lethargy." She gave Jamie a very perturbed look and said, "I’m not bouncing back the way I normally do. Maybe I should start taking some supplements, or something."

  "Want me to call the doctor for you, and ask what she recommends?"

  Ryan shrugged. "Whatever. I can do it if you don’t."

  "Hey," Jamie reached out and covered her partner’s hand, "what’s bothering you? I know something is."

  Putting down her fork, Ryan pushed her plate away and leaned over, resting her chin on her stacked fists. "I’m not having fun."

  "Why, honey? Isn’t softball like you remembered it?"

  Staring across the table, Ryan muttered, "Not softball."

  "Huh? What is it, then?"

  "Riding."

  She said it like a curse, and Jamie got up from her chair and pulled her partner upright. Drawing Ryan’s head against her, she stroked her back and said, "Tell me, Ryan. Tell me why it’s not fun."

  "It’s only work this time," she said, her voice muffled by Jamie’s sweater. "No camaraderie, no teamwork, no … getting pleasure from helping people – like you – reach a goal."

  Jamie pulled back and looked into her eyes, seeing the deep sadness that lurked within the blue depths. Screwing up her nerve, she made the proposal that she’d been working on all week. "I have an idea I’ve been kicking around."

  "Yeah? What’s that?"

  "Why don’t we consider volunteering this year? You’ve always said that the volunteers are the most vital contributors. Why don’t we see what it’s like to be on that team for a change?"

  Ryan was quiet for a minute, while her hands nervously played with her silverware. "I don’t know," she muttered. "I meant it when I said the volunteers were important. But I’m not sure I could stand to drive people around in one of those little vans all day. I’d feel all cooped up."

  Jamie smiled at her, and said, "How would you feel about it if you could still be on a bike; you could still be outdoors; you and I could be together; and you didn’t have to train?"

  Ryan crossed her arms and gave her partner her most dubious look. "This I’ve gotta hear."

  "I’ve been talking to the people at the Ride office to see what I could do as a volunteer," Jamie said, surprising her partner completely. "Mostly because there’s no way I’m going to let you share a tent with some stranger."

  "So possessive," Ryan said, reaching out to tweak her partner’s nose.

  "Damned right! Anyway, one thing that we could do together is motorcycle support," she said, waiting for Ryan to respond.

  "Motorcycle support?" she asked slowly.

  "Yep. I thought it would be fun. We’d be able to interact with a lot of people – heck, we’d be chatting all day."

  Ryan looked skeptical. "Where would you get a bike?"

  "I found a place that rents ‘em. I think I’ll rent a Harley Sportster. It’s much more my size." She blinked her eyes at her partner and said, "Soooo … someone’s Fatboy is still available for use."

  Ryan shook her head slowly, letting all of the information digest. "I don’t know, honey. I mean, motorcycle support is very important, and the people who do it seem to love it – but I don’t think it’s my style."

  Jamie’s heart sank, knowing that Ryan wasn’t likely to budge from her first impression. Sighing, she asked, "What is your style, baby? What would make you happy?"

  "I need time to think," Ryan said. "Give me a little quiet time, okay?"

  "Sure. Uhm … there’s not much to do to clean up from dinner. Why don’t you go upstairs and take a bath or something."

  "All right. I’ll go chill for a bit."

  Jamie did the dishes in a leisurely fashion, and just as she was finishing, Mia came in. There was a decent amount of food left over, so she sat at the table while Mia had dinner, and they chatted about their respective days.

  Nearly an hour had passed, but Ryan hadn’t reappeared, so Jamie went upstairs to check on her. There was no sign of her in the bath, so Jamie poked her head into Ryan’s bedroom, slightly surprised to find her sitting on the floor, in a yoga pose – looking like she was meditating. Sneaking out quietly, she went into their room and worked at her computer for a long while. It was nearly bedtime when Ryan came in and lay down on the bed, her head down at the foot so she was closer to Jamie. "Well, I think I sorted out what about the Ride means the most to me."

  Swiveling around in her chair, Jamie gave her partner her full attention. "Tell me."

  "It’s always been a multi-step process for me. The training – meeting new people – sleeping with new people," she added, chuckling a little. "All of that was a lot of fun, and made me feel part of the whole. The months leading up to the ride let me share my excitement with a lot of people, and that really meant something to me."

  "And that’s why not being able to lead training rides has been so disappointing for you."

  "Yeah … that’s exactly it."

  "Well, maybe there’s some way we can figure out …"

  "No," Ryan said, holding up a hand. "It dawned on me tonight that as much as I enjoyed all of that – it’s not why the Ride has so much meaning for me. The bottom line is that all of the other things were nice incidentals. What mattered the most was the quiet time I had every day – to think and reflect about Michael. Those few hours each day seemed like a culmination of several months of work that I dedicated to him, Jamie. It was a way to keep him close to my heart."

  "I understand," Jamie said, quietly. "Really, I do, baby."

  Ryan nodded. "I knew you would – once I figured it out for myself. So, I’m gonna have to do the work the hard way this time – because those hours during the ride mean more to me than th
e pain I’m gonna have to go through to get there." She didn’t look terribly happy, but the look on her face was one of resolution, and Jamie knew that Ryan would stick to her path – now that she was clear about the goal.

  With some trepidation, Jamie got up and lay next to her partner, pulling Ryan’s head to her chest. As she stroked the soft, dark hair, she offered the suggestion that had occurred to her as Ryan was speaking. "Let me be sure I understand, okay?"

  "Sure."

  "You’re willing to give up all of the fun parts just to have a couple of hours of quiet time a day during the ride?"

  "Yeah. I am. Being out there in nature, making my body do something that’s difficult lets me concentrate in a way that I’m not usually able to do. Those few stolen hours mean too much to let them go."

  "How about this?" Jamie asked. "I agree completely that you need to spend time honoring your cousin’s memory. I know how easy it is to let things like that slip by when your life is as busy as yours is. I get that, Ryan – I do."

  "Thank you," the brunette said quietly.

  "But this year, with all that you have going on – I worry about you, sweetheart; and if there’s any way to fulfill your needs without stressing you more, I want you to consider it."

  "I know you worry about me, Jamie, but I can take care of myself. Really – I can."

  Looking into her big, blue eyes, Jamie steeled her courage and told the whole truth. "I can’t stop worrying, Ryan. I’ve tried to – I swear that I have. I’ve talked to Anna, I’ve prayed over it, I’ve talked to my mom – but I can’t stop worrying."

  "Hey," Ryan soothed, shifting to wrap her arms around her partner. "I didn’t know it was bothering you this much."

  "It is. I lie in bed in the morning worrying about you riding in the dark. And my stomach’s a nervous wreck when you ride after practice; there is so much traffic around here, honey. It makes me crazy!"

  Ryan was quiet for a minute, her hand softly stroking her partner’s hair. "Then I’ll quit. This is important to me – but it’s not important enough to cause you pain. I’ve given you enough to worry about for a lifetime."