Look Both Ways

by Joan Early

  She thought it was Travis and, despite the risk of sending mixed signals, she would have welcomed a shoulder to lean on. “Yes?”

  “Susan, it’s Will. I need to talk to you.”

  Her heart raced. Taking deep breaths to stifle the screams that were building in her throat, she cracked the door and spoke slowly. “We have nothing to talk about, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would just leave.”

  “Just give me ten minutes. Please let me explain. Please.”

  She stood behind the door and tried to calm her anger. Smoothing back her mussed hair, she fumbled with the security latch and let him in. He reached for her but she moved back and pushed his hand away.

  “I can’t imagine what you could possibly have to say now, but go ahead. Tell me some more lies, Will.”

  “Susan, I know how this looks, but believe me, I had nothing to do with that article. I had no idea the media had been contacted. I swear…”

  The telephone interrupted his attempt to explain. She let the machine pick up, and then held her finger to her lips to tell him to keep quiet.

  “Susan, this is Travis again. I want you to call me no matter how late you get in. Price called Deeds, and now he’s acting like he already has your job. Call me.”

  She turned to Will; his face was a mass of frowns.

  “Did you hear that? My job is on the line. I don’t really care to hear your defense. Now please leave.”

  “Why is your job on the line? You weren’t even in the city when this happened.”

  “Forget the logistics! My job is on the line because the rest of the world is just as crooked and manipulative as you are. Did you think you and your little bunch of troublemakers had a monopoly on deceit? There are people out there waiting for me to fail in this position, and guess what? You just helped them reach their goal.”

  “I swear to you, I had no knowledge of this. I invited you away with me because, for the first time in a long time, I thought I had found someone to love. I never lied to you. I love you, Susan. You’ve got to believe me.”

  “It doesn’t matter now. One way or another, my days in this sweatbox are numbered. Even if our relationship survived all of this, it would soon become a long-distance one. From what I understand, most of those don’t work out. It—”

  The phone rang again. She picked up when she heard Angie’s voice.

  “Hi, how did it go?”

  “There’s nothing to worry about. I was able to reach my friend at the TV station, and they’re going to air your rebuttal. I also called the newspaper. It took a while to get to the right person, but I said that I was you and told them how shameful it was that they had printed such a one-sided story. Mark Chestnut called me back. He will be at Sealand in the morning, and so will a TV reporter and camera crew.”

  “I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re the only true friend I have in this place,” she said, looking at Will. “Angie, I have a guest right now. Rev. Cartwright is here. I’ll call you back. If you don’t hear from me in ten minutes, that means one of us is dead, so please call the police.”

  Angie giggled. “Got you!”

  Will shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his pained expression growing more pronounced by the minute.

  “Susan, I don’t know how to make you believe me. I love you. I would never hurt you. I thought this matter was under control. I would do anything to relieve you of this burden. Anything. I didn’t use you, and I love you beyond words. Please believe me. At our last meeting, one of the members questioned my handling of this matter and suggested I might have a conflict of interests. He had seen us together at the church. I advised them to wait until my return and we would find a solution, but obviously they didn’t. I’m not lying, Susan.”

  “Don’t sweat it, Will. One way or the other, there’s nothing between us now.” She looked at the floor, trying to remain cool, but feeling as though she was going to faint. Walking over to the stereo, she said, “I have a lot of things to do before morning, so please leave.”

  “For heaven’s sake, Susan. Don’t let this happen to us. This is tearing me apart. I love you. How can you doubt that after the last few days? I did nothing to—”

  She held up her hand. “Let me give you the gospel from my side of the fence, Will. I received this promotion to head Sealand’s production staff less than a year after I was made branch manager back in Canton. I’m qualified. I sacrificed my time well beyond normal work hours. When they promoted me to branch manager, Sealand revised its ad campaign. Guess who made the cover of every piece of printed material? We had a little uprising of black activists there, too. I accepted that maybe I was the new black poster child. I didn’t particularly like it, but I accepted it. When offered this position less than a year later, I would have been crazy not to question Sealand’s motives, don’t you think?”

  “You think they promoted you to this location because of Cedargrove?”

  “I think it’s quite possible that someone on high felt a black face was needed here, too. I was probably sent here to be the scapegoat. This alone would be hard to deal with. Now I find that in a moment of weakness I allowed myself to care for someone, thus creating an opportunity to be deceived again. As we speak, a slack-jawed weasel named Price Bishop, who doesn’t have enough brains to come in out of the rain, is questioning my job performance. He was next in line for the position I was given. So please excuse me if your words sound a bit hollow to me right now.”

  “I understand how you feel, but you’re wrong. I would never do anything to harm you.”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore. I have some calls to make. Please see yourself out.” She picked up the phone and dialed Travis’s number, not waiting for Will to leave.

  “Travis, I’m home. I got your messages, and I got four from Price. I assumed from the tone of his voice on the last one that he does have my job, but thanks for your concern.”

  He indeed sounded concerned. “Do you want me to come over there? I can try and help you sort this out. I don’t want him to do this to you. I want—”

  Not wanting his pity, she cut him off. “Thanks for your offer, but I’ll see you in the morning, and don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I may be down, but I’m not out yet. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

  Will was still there when she hung up.

  “Susan, I’m sorry for everything you’re going through. I know you’re angry and hurt, but I also know I love you, and I had no part in this. Think about this weekend, because all of it was real. You make me happier than I’ve ever been, and I don’t want to even think of losing you. I’ll call a meeting and see if I can defuse this mess. I apologize from the bottom of my heart.”

  She held the door open. “Please don’t do me any favors. I want to meet you on the battlefield, face to face. Don’t get any ideas of redeeming yourself by having them go away. You just worry about your own hide, Rev. Cartwright, and have a nice life.”

  She watched his broad shoulders droop and her heart cried out. He turned to face her. His lips formed words that remained unspoken as he turned and walked away. Her heart shattered. She closed and locked the door before answering the phone.

  “Hi, Angie, I’m glad you called. I almost let him get to me.”

  “How did he defend what he did?”

  “He claimed to have no knowledge of the story. He said that his last advice to the group was to wait until he returned to take the next step.”

  “You know, Susan, he’s probably telling the truth. The paper did quote Rev. Otis, not Will. Willie Cartwright doesn’t appear to be the kind of man who would do something like that. Now, on the other hand, that Rev. Otis is a slime bag if ever I saw one. Did Will seem sincere about his feelings for you, or do you care to discuss it?”

  “Only with you. He said he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I really thought he meant it, Angie. There was this little voice inside of me saying that I was rushing things, but I really believed him. I kn
ow for a fact that I’m in love with him.”

  “Don’t you think you should find out if he’s telling the truth before dismissing him from your life? Even if you wait until this is over, I think you should explore your relationship. That man is too good to let get away. That is, if he was sincere.”

  “I don’t think I care to find out. This whole thing has caused me more pain than I should have allowed. I spent a wonderful weekend with a man I was sure would be the last and greatest love of my life. Everything was perfect. We talked about our future. Children. Now I feel like a damn fool.”

  Anger and pain fused.

  “Angie, I need to call home. My parents are probably going nuts worrying about me. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Yearning for comfort from someone whose love was never in question, she dialed home.

  “Mom, it’s me. I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay. I’m still fuming mad and more hurt than I’ve ever been, but I’m in control.”

  “Honey, does Willard Cartwright mean that much to you? Are you angry because of the problem at work or your personal feelings for him?”

  “Both, I think. I was falling in love with him, Mom. No, that’s not true. I am in love with him. Just standing next to him, holding his hand. Just hearing his voice, watching him walk into a room was more thrilling than any experience I’ve ever had, but so much for that. I have a career to save. I’ll plot my revenge on Rev. Cartwright at a later date.”

  “Have you talked to him yet? Did he admit to this?”

  “He claims not to have any knowledge of it. He said that one of his members was responsible.”

  “And you don’t believe him?”

  “I don’t know, Mom, but even if I did, I don’t see a relationship with him now. I don’t feel an iota of trust in him, and I don’t trust myself in his company.”

  CHAPTER 7

  Susan’s head throbbed so intensely that even the tick of the clock was annoying. She lay awake and tried to think of other things, but Will’s smile would not go away. After flipping channels on the television, she finally turned it off, pushed back the white sheet with lime and yellow butterflies, and went to the kitchen.

  Dino hopped off the bed and followed her down the steps.

  “Oh, Dino. Why aren’t humans this loyal?” she asked as the cat purred against her legs.

  She made a cup of warm milk, found it tasteless, and poured it down the drain.

  “No use going back to bed, Dino. There’s no way I can fall asleep tonight.”

  She made a pot of coffee and turned on the stereo. After a short doze on the sofa, she showered and dressed. Hearing the paperboy downstairs at six o’clock, she hurried, picked up the tri-folded newspaper, and tucked it under her arm.

  “Okay Susan, let’s go in and get this over with.”

  Feeling skittish and very much alone, she made her way into the darkened, eerily quiet building. Once in her office, she sat on the edge of the desk, opened the newspaper, and found the article Angie had hoped would be there. The caption was all she needed to read: LENDER CRIES FOUL.

  She was sitting at her desk reading the full story when she heard footsteps approaching.

  “I thought you might be here. I couldn’t sleep either,” Travis said, coming in with outstretched arms. “I’m sorry you had to come home to all this. I talked to Price several times last night. He is trying to make it appear that you knew about this story. He told Deeds that he had advised you to satisfy Cartwright by approving the loans in question and that you refused.”

  “I don’t see that it would have made a difference if I had been here. I knew the matter would not go away, and I’ve been working to build a defense. I couldn’t let Cedargrove, or anyone else, bully me into going against my responsibility. Those loan applications were incomplete. If I had knowingly allowed them to slide past guidelines, I might as well admit that I’m not good at my job.”

  “Maybe you should have approved them. It certainly would have saved everyone a lot of trouble, especially you.”

  “You know as well as I do that Price Bishop redlined that community. The people of Cedargrove know it, too. If, in reviewing those loans, I had found no problems, I would have approved them and let the chips fall where they may. I agreed to process the loan applications once the necessary documents were provided.”

  “Price said the underwriters had reviewed the files and couldn’t find sufficient reasons for the denials. He claims time lapse made it impossible to successfully fight their charges. In that case, how can you possibly fight it now?”

  “In my own way, Travis. I’m not backing down for Price, Rev. Cartwright, or those people in Cedargrove.”

  She saw his eyes darting back to the credenza behind her. From the corner of her eyes she saw that she had set her purse on the edge of the credenza instead of inside the drawer. The airline stub was sticking from the outside pocket.

  “You went to Atlanta this weekend? That’s where the papers said Rev. Cartwright was.” His face contorted in angry comprehension. “You were with him.”

  Susan watched his face contort in anger as he slapped his palm against his forehead. “You were in Atlanta with Willard Cartwright. Oh, I may be slow, but I’m getting the picture now. The paper won’t run a story without trying to get comments from both sides. He took you out of town so you couldn’t rebuke their claims.”

  He stood and smiled. “You and Cartwright have been…how could you?” he asked.

  She waited for his next rhetorical outburst.

  “When did you start sleeping with him, Susan? Is that how you planned to make their charges disappear? I guess you underestimated yourself, pretty Susan.” He exhaled and leaned forward, placing his palms on the edge of her desk. “While you were playing me, he was playing you.”

  “I didn’t lie to you, and I didn’t play you. I accepted friendship and gave it in return. I asked you not to expect anything beyond that. Maybe I should have anticipated your feelings, but I certainly didn’t encourage them.”

  “Of course not. It was the perfect set-up. Well, the joke’s on you, now, isn’t it?”

  His spiteful laugh filled the room. Susan stood and walked around the desk.

  “Travis, I told you over and over that I wasn’t ready to make a commitment, and that was the truth. Maybe I should have realized you were getting serious and ended our friendship sooner, but I honestly didn’t see it coming. I’m profoundly sorry if you feel misled.”

  He grabbed her shoulders. “You couldn’t make a commitment to me, but you didn’t tell me you had made one to him.” He let go of her and bolted for the door, literally running into Price. “I need to see you in my office, Price. Now! It’s urgent!”

  Susan slumped down in her chair. She had not led Travis on, but felt guilty just the same. She half expected Price to come storming back at any minute, and then realized it was nine o’clock. She filled her travel cup from the coffee bar, tucked her leather portfolio under her arm and walked across the reception area, past the boardroom, and into Price’s office.

  The office was empty. She looked around the room that was similar to her office but much smaller. This is what it’s all about. Well, you don’t have my office yet, you despicable reprobate.

  She started back to her office and heard someone call her name. Waylon Deeds stood in the boardroom door.

  “Come on in, Miss Cross. We’re about to start the meeting.”

  “I was informed that today’s meeting would be held in Price’s office.”

  “Price was a bit too hasty in his presumption. I’ll be using the boardroom as my office until the renovation is complete, but our meetings will still be held here. I’ll officiate this morning. Regular business will be postponed so we can get down to the issues at hand. Here, have a seat,” he said, pulling a chair back from the table. “Unless someone has a pressing issue, we’ll skip the usual discussions and go straight to this Cedargrove Heights matter.”

  Price came in soon after a
nd sat on the other side of Mr. Deeds. Travis walked in with the same grimace on his face, followed by three production managers, the head of secondary lending, and the accounting manager. Mr. Deeds called the meeting to order and suggested dispensing with regular business, and asked if everyone had seen the paper. Susan focused on Price’s gloating face.

  The room quickly cleared, and Mr. Deeds spoke to Susan and Price. “I would rather discuss this matter with the two of you, and Perry Trask from legal, before involving the others. Needless to say, I’m greatly troubled by the article in yesterday’s paper. Sealand has worked hard to avoid this kind of publicity. Now we’ll have to work even harder to make it disappear. We’re waiting for Perry to get here and see what course of action he thinks we should take.”

  “Mr. Deeds, I would like to continue handling this matter until such time as it becomes a legal issue.” Shaky at the beginning, Susan’s voice evened out as she spoke.

  “This is already a matter for legal, Miss Cross. I left here with the understanding that you and Price would handle it. Now he tells me you refused to inform him of how the case was progressing until it came down to this,” he responded, slapping the newspaper on the table. “I don’t want this to evolve any further than it has already. It’s out of hand. Let Perry handle it.”

  “It’s not out of hand, sir. I had a plan in place in the event something like this happened. I would like to follow it through.”

  Price cleared his throat. “Your plan failed. I told you it would, but you didn’t listen. These people want blood. There’s nothing to do but turn it over to legal.”

  Not bothering to look Price’s way, Susan addressed Deeds. “My plan will still work, Mr. Deeds, especially now. With the media looking over our shoulders, we have to disprove these charges or this institution will lose its place of distinction in the lending community.”

  “There’s nothing we can do now,” Price interjected. “Let Perry handle this and let us get back to our jobs. Those people can’t make a single payment on time, but let them think they can get money by filing a lawsuit and they all line up, especially that big-mouth Rev. Cartwright.”