Look Both Ways

by Joan Early

  After storing the groceries, she poured a glass of wine and went out to the balcony with the phone and her laptop. A phone call interrupted the scolding she was giving herself for allowing Will’s memory to continue dogging her thoughts.

  “Susan! Girl, I’m so happy for you. You tore into them this morning.” Angie was practically screeching. “Travis heard about it from Mr. Deeds and spread the word to the rest of us. There were more people on your side than you could imagine. They knew Price was a jerk. How did he respond to this?”

  “He resigned.”

  “You mean you ran the little bastard off? I knew you could handle yourself in a fight. I don’t remember ever being so proud of anyone.” Settling down, she said, “Deeds called me in and offered me a raise and a promotion to quality control manager. I know that was your idea. I’m grateful.”

  “No, I’m grateful. You saved Sealand, and me, and I’ll never forget it. Now tell me what you decided.”

  “I thanked him for the raise and told him I would get back to him Monday about the position. He said the duties were not yet defined.”

  “That’s because I haven’t defined them yet. The position reports to me.”

  “He didn’t tell me that. He offered me a $10,000 pay increase for the new position, and gave me a bonus for—his words—outstanding performance. How did you manage that?”

  “Oh, I beat up on him a little about my salary increase. He offered me a raise and I raised his raise. I’m sure he knew that unless he offered you something decent, I’d challenge him again. I also convinced him to allow me to offer a form of compensation to the Cedargrove borrowers who were unjustly turned down. I have a new responsibility. I’ll be working closely with Perry, and as I soon as I can, I plan to resume classes and get a law degree.”

  “I can’t tell you how much I admire you. That’s why I wanted you to stay. You can help a lot of people just by being here and being you.”

  “Hold on, Angie, there’s someone at the door.” She put the security chain on and cracked the door. It was Will, head slightly bowed, standing uncertainly before her. She undid the chain, stood back, and told Angie she would call her later. “I have company.”

  “Is it who I think it is?”

  “You got it.”

  “Girl, no! Before you go, we want you to come to dinner tomorrow evening, and I won’t take no for an answer.”

  “In that case, the answer is yes, I’ll be there. We’ll talk later.” She turned and faced Will. “What can I do for you?”

  “I’ve been so worried about you, Susan. Judging from the way you handled yourself today, I suppose my concern wasn’t necessary, but I did worry.”

  “You have enough people counting on you as it is. Save your concern for them, Will. I’m fine.”

  “What I wanted to offer you was my love, but I guess it’s too late for that. Susan, I never lied to you. Frank Otis brought this matter to the media without my knowledge, and certainly without my approval.”

  The phone rang again.

  “Excuse me. I’ll make this brief.”

  It was her mother. Will went to the patio door and stared out as she talked.

  “Hi, Mom. I’m fine. No, I’ll be here until I decide to leave. No, Mom, the meeting went well.” Her mother then told her that Charles was getting married on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

  “Thanksgiving? Why the rush? Of course I’ll be there. I could never miss my baby brother’s wedding. How long have you and Daddy known about this, and why didn’t you tell me? Mom, I’ve been there, remember? I’m not upset to be the only one in the family who is unmarried. I’ll call that little rascal and congratulate him. Mom, I have a guest right now. Can I call you later?”

  She hung up and turned to Will. “Mom thought I would be upset that my baby brother is getting married. I can’t believe that.”

  “And you’re not, I assume.”

  “I’m not upset at all,” she said, emphatically, looking directly into his eyes.

  “Susan, I love you. I didn’t lie to you. Please believe me. I’ll marry you today. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  She said nothing, but was thinking of how desperately she wanted to say yes. He was the answer to her every prayer, but she could not see past the pain in her heart.

  “Will, I deeply regret that our relationship has become a direct casualty of Price Bishop’s machinations and those of his unwitting accomplice, Frank Otis. But you should know that I requested and received special compensation for the applicants that I feel should have been given more consideration. I would have gladly done that from the beginning.”

  “I know. You have every reason to be angry and hurt, but you are wrong about one thing. At no time did I attempt to exploit our relationship. I invited you to Atlanta because I wanted to be with the woman I loved, and still do. Is there a chance for us to get past this?”

  “I don’t think so, Will. I can deal with problems, but you have too many people involved in your life. I’m happiest when I’m in control, and there are too many things about your life that can chip away at that control. There are no hard feelings on my part. I wish you the best of everything.”

  Silent screams filled her head and became deafening. If he loved her, he would fight. He would try to convince her they belonged together.

  But without another word, he walked to the door. “Good-bye, Susan.”

  She locked the door and went to the kitchen. She was in control. She had her dignity and her job. So why was she feeling such pain and emptiness?

  * * *

  Susan spent most of Saturday shopping at the Galleria. On Sunday, she watched Carl burn steaks and listened to Angie’s advice regarding her love life.

  “Willard Cartwright is an exceptional man, Susan. You might want to rethink crossing him off your list until you’re sure about your feelings.”

  Susan carried that thought home. There was no denying her feelings for Will, but the weight of her earlier caution had intensified.

  Back at her apartment, she took her heart to a different place and called her brother, Charles. Only slightly doubtful that he was marrying four months after his twenty-first birthday, she remembered the feeling she had for Stan and was thankful for her brother’s happiness. He asked her to be a bridesmaid, and she gladly accepted. When they finished talking, she called her mother.

  “He sounds so happy, Mom. I know he’s young, but Charles always knew what he wanted. Just listening to him made me feel good.”

  “Did you agree to be in the wedding?” Tammy asked.

  “Of course. I would never let my problems diminish my happiness for him.”

  Her spirits remained high through Monday morning. The atmosphere at work was refreshingly different. Everyone was friendly, and there was no Price Bishop to make waves. Susan was finally able to relax in her new position, even when Travis rapped on her door.

  “I’ve thought about our last discussion, and I don’t want to resign. My family is here. My kids are here. Most lenders no longer have staff appraisers, so I would have to hustle hard for less money. I want to stay, but only if you’re sure we can work together without conflict.”

  “Our relationship is obviously a little strained right now,” she said, making no promises. “But I’m willing to give it a shot.”

  “Again, I’m sorry for everything that happened, and

  I wish you well in your relationship with Rev. Cartwright.”

  “My relationship with Will is over, but thanks anyway.” Wishing to end the conversation, she opened a file before continuing. “I’m glad you decided to stay. We need good employees.”

  It was slightly awkward for the next few days, passing Travis in the hallway with only polite smiles, but that was all she required. When she requested time off to attend her brother’s wedding, Mr. Deeds threw in a bonus.

  “Take that week off. You’ve earned it. I have very few travel plans for the rest of the year. I can’t handle crises as well as you, bu
t I’ll try and fill in.”

  She thanked him for everything and hummed through the rest of the day. She felt good about her life. Perry was easy to work with, and the interaction with his department was an interesting change of pace, but Perry’s attempt at matchmaker proved less than spectacular.

  “One of my colleagues read the Cedargrove story and wants to meet you. I wasn’t sure you wanted a fix-up date, but since you like basketball and I have four tickets, I thought you might like to accompany Jan and me to a Rockets game, and I’ll invite Josh along. If you two hit it off, fine, if not, no harm done. What do you say?”

  Against her better instincts, she agreed and met the three of them at Toyota Center for a Thursday night game. Josh personified everything she most abhorred about men since her divorce. He was of average height and build; in fact, everything about him was average—except his conduct. He yelled at the players and referees, voiced loud opinions about each call, and argued with another fan over a player’s potential.

  At halftime, they went for beer and popcorn and he managed to remain civil, though not particularly appealing. At the start of the third quarter, he yelled, “Sit down, all six of you,” to a very large man two rows ahead. Mortified, Susan turned away in disgust, and Josh remained silent for the rest of the game.

  Perry was apologetic the next morning. “I don’t know what happened. I conferred with Josh on a couple of cases just after he passed the bar. He’s usually the life of the party. He was trying too hard to impress you and came off as a boorish clod. I hope you weren’t too miserable.”

  “There is no need to apologize, Perry. You’ve been a friend to me since I arrived here, and that means a lot. I enjoyed meeting Jan. She certainly has a wonderful sense of humor.”

  “That accounts for her ability to put up with me,” he said with a smile. “Well, I won’t attempt another match. Jan is sending you an invitation to our annual Christmas party, and I’ll invite every single guy that I feel is potentially suitable and see if anything happens. How about that?”

  She laughed with Perry. Every phase of the job was now going well. She made an official announcement of Price’s resignation, but skirted discussing the reason. With Deeds’s approval, she hired Price’s replacement. She and Angie set up the new quality control department; hired two employees, including Angie’s replacement; and promoted one from within.

  Weekends were spent with Dino or at Angie’s house. In her attempts to include Susan in her active social life, Angie enticed her to attend a mortgage banking dinner by promising the best peach cobbler in the world. Susan met a few members of the lending community that she had spoken with by phone. She and Angie drifted in different directions during the reception, but Angie hurried back to Susan’s side before the meal began.

  “Look over my left shoulder and tell me what you think.”

  Susan had no trouble spotting the subject. She allowed her eyes to travel the considerable length of his body. “That’s Marcus Paxton, the attorney who came to the meeting with Cedargrove. I think he’s gorgeous. What’s his story?”

  “Never married, bright, very sweet, and I’m sure you’ll like him. I’m sorry I didn’t think of him sooner. He did a lot of work for Sealand before it had a legal department. His specialty is family law. He still handles some of our probate cases. Follow me.” Angie moved sideways, balancing her glass in one hand and guiding Susan with the other.

  Feeling like a wanton female stalker, Susan allowed herself to be propelled through the crowd. Angie stopped close to the unsuspecting man, began a loud conversation, and deliberately backed into him.

  “I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. Marc! I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been keeping yourself?” she said, smiling.

  Susan stood silently by her side.

  “Hey, Angie. I’ve been around. Working like a dog mostly. What about you? I heard about your new position. Congratulations.”

  Susan watched his face while pretending to look past him. Deep-set hazel eyes luminously highlighted a rich, butter-smooth complexion.

  “Thanks. I’ve been working hard, but I enjoy it a lot more than I did before. Here’s a card with my new extension. I’m still close by. Sealand is growing and improving, in spite of the aggravations.”

  “I know. I was at the meeting with Cedargrove. I didn’t want to, but it’s hard to say no to Will.”

  Susan silently agreed.

  “I also followed the story about your new program.”

  That was the opening Angie needed. “Then you must remember Susan Cross.” She pulled Susan in front of her. “She’s the best thing to happen to Sealand, and she’s a dear friend.”

  Angie turned and winked. “Susan, Marc Paxton handles the family law division of his father’s firm. He’s bailed me out of quite a few messy probate cases.”

  “Hello, Marc,” she said, extending her hand. “Nice to see you again.”

  “The pleasure is all mine,” he replied, his lips stretching into a wide smile. “You were magnificent in that meeting. What law school?”

  “None, actually. I have a few classes under my belt, but went for a MBA instead.”

  “I never would have guessed. How long have you been with Sealand?”

  “I’ve been with the company since college, but I recently transferred to Houston from Ohio.” Finding him enormously handsome, she began to fidget and prayed Angie would not leave them alone.

  Angie not only stayed close during the reception, she invited Marc to join their table for dinner. The speaker was not interesting enough to take Susan’s mind off Willard Cartwright, and neither was the good-looking man at her side, but she did find him quite interesting. He was three years her senior, graduated Harvard Law School, and had never found time to marry.

  After the luncheon ended, Angie hurried to catch another attendee who was leaving ahead of them, and Marc made his move.

  “So, Susan, what do you think of Houston?”

  “I haven’t seen a great deal of the city, but I’m not too fond of the heat and the terrible traffic.”

  He laughed. “Please allow me to acquaint you with some of our more favored attractions, beginning with our superb restaurants. This weekend, if you’re free.”

  “I’m free and I’d love to see a little more of the city.” She scribbled her cell phone number on the back of a business card. “I’m staying at the Executive House.”

  * * *

  Susan’s first date with Marc was a quick lunch on Tuesday, but the second was an enjoyable dinner on Friday night. She learned he was a wine buff with a big appetite, and she delighted him with details of her kitchen skill.

  “You make biscuits from scratch? I don’t know anyone who does that. I’d love to have breakfast at your place.” The lilt of his voice when he said the word breakfast suggested his intended direction for their relationship.

  Susan was on guard when he took her home, but was almost persuaded by his probing goodnight kiss.

  “I enjoyed dinner.” She eased from his arms. “See you tomorrow.”

  She dressed in jeans for a concert in Herman Park on Saturday. Marc was laid back and humorous and Susan enjoyed the outing. This time the goodnight kisses continued until his hand snaked under her top.

  “It’s a little late, and I’m a lot tired,” she said, removing his hand.

  “He’s slightly aggressive, if you know what I mean,” she told Angie the following afternoon. “He’s entertaining and has a high level of confidence, but he’s not a braggart. He plays classical piano and violin and competitive chess. I’m a pretty good chess player myself, so we do have a great deal in common.”

  “I’m glad,” Angie answered. “See, there are a few good men in this city. I found one, and I’m sure you will, too. Maybe you already have.”

  By the time of their lunch date on Tuesday, Marc spoke with ease about his life.

  “My ancestors were able to prosper in spite of the obvious obstacles. My great-grandfather owned a c
otton gin, my grandfather acquired a lot of property and owned a general store in the Fifth Ward, and my dad was the first attorney in the family. I followed his lead.”

  Susan told him of her initial goal of pursuing a legal career. “I’m not taking any classes now, but I fully intend to continue, hopefully, next semester. I enjoy law very much.”

  “You also must enjoy a good battle if you took on Willard Cartwright. Most people shake when he walks into the room.”

  “Are you speaking from observation, or are you acquainted with Willard Cartwright?”

  “We’re well acquainted. My father and the senior Rev. Cartwright are good friends, and I dated Will’s sister Terri years ago.”

  Susan was completely attentive. “Are you members of his church?”

  “No, we’re Catholic, but my dad has a lot of admiration for Rev. Cartwright as a minister. They’re very nice people. Will is a genuinely concerned and compassionate man, not a grandstander. He’s also a damn good racquetball player. Beats me every time we play.”

  Her relationship with Will was over and she had vowed not to second-guess her decision, but soon realized she was more interested in Marc’s conversation now that Will was the subject. Hoping that Marc would be more than a distraction from her memories of Will, Susan met him for lunch on Thursday and accompanied him to a poetry reading at a club in the trendy Westheimer section of the city on Friday night.

  In a conversation with her mother, she defined him as a bohemian intellectual with highly refined tastes. “That’s a contradiction, but a nice one,” she told Tammy.

  She met Marc for Sunday brunch and he described himself as an odd duck.

  “My mother was the disciplinarian in our family. She is Asian and very strict. I enjoyed things from my parents’ world. Even as a child, I liked classical music and theater, which made me somewhat of a social outcast among my peers. I had a close-knit family, so it didn’t bother me too much. I still find it difficult to find dates with similar interests.”