Embrace the Desire

by Spring Stevens

  Women were tools to be used to ease a man’s desires, they were the blades that were used to bring down kingdoms, and they were the poison that brought about despair, nothing more! This one was no different than any other and he had no use for a woman.

  Mine.

  Grinding his teeth, he pushed his lust down to the pit of his stomach and centered his attention to the clothes she wore. Anger filled his mouth and the taste was bitter. Damon, the father he wished he had never had, would surely be pleased to have this one in his ranks. A firm cruel frown tightened across his lips.

  His sneer turned into disgust as he eyed the pendent hanging around her neck on a leather string. The five star pendent burned into his mind: witch. Enemy! Whore of Damon! Gyth and Isten had no doubt lost their ever-loving minds. Why in hell’s name did they want to make sure this female made it through the Burning?

  Wondering if she remembered him, he watched her work around the tables, filling coffee cups and taking orders.

  As she came closer to him, he stared at her as she nervously looked down at his tattoo that peeked out of his long shirtsleeve. Something stirred in his gut, slid down his spine, and made a beeline straight to his balls. Instant hard on.

  Mine.

  She eyed him cautiously, but wasn’t afraid. She edged her way to his table and took out her order pad. Her fingers trembled slightly as she held a pencil over her notepad, but a determined look creased her brow and she asked, “What can I get you?”

  Payne opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again.

  Mine.

  “How about something to drink?” Her voice was steady, an equal blend of sassy and sweet, and licked at his ears like a soft wind that promised an even sweeter release.

  He found it was difficult to speak as a lump rose up in his throat. “No.” And thank the gods for the table that shielded his attraction.

  “He’ll have a cherry ice and a cheeseburger.”

  Payne’s lip twitched and his eyes narrowed as Varick appeared behind her. Payne was shocked, but hid it well as he watched Varick smile at the woman and kiss her forehead. There was little doubt that Varick and the woman were well acquainted.

  Payne held his breath for a second and wondered if she was Varick’s lover. He didn’t believe it; Varick was mated. But what did he care? She was nothing to him and deserved nothing from him including his attention. Still, he didn’t like the thought of this particular woman lying in Varick’s arms.

  Mine.

  And it didn’t have anything to do with an unwarranted kiss from eight years ago. Nor did it have anything to do with her face haunting his dreams.

  “I have missed you, Chanta. I must remember to visit you more often.”

  “Oh, you just sit down and I’ll get your usual.” She smiled and her silver eyes sparkled.

  “You look well, Chanta. I find myself thinking of you lately. Tell me, how have you been?”

  Payne bit his tongue as she slid her hands into Varick’s. He watched in complete silence as the god-vampire-Destroyer brought her hands up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. A strange unknown feeling crept up his spine as Chanta reached up and kissed Varick on the cheek. He clenched his fists as the thought of nailing Varick to a post skipped through his mind.

  “I’ve been doing really well.” She looked around the diner. “And this place has finally started to pay for itself, especially since we changed themes.”

  “Good . . . good. Now, how about that burger?”

  She turned and walked away as Varick settled into a chair. Payne grunted when he noticed the disgusted look she had cast his way before walking away.

  Varick returned Payne’s stare, grinned as he laughed, and spoke. “She’s special and apparently Gyth and Isten are both insisting you do this.” There was a pause. “I would also ask this of you.”

  Payne’s jaw flinched and his steel colored eyes hardened. He had a bargain with Isten. One he would see through to the bitter end. Payne gritted his teeth at the thought.

  “I want you to help her. It means a great deal to me that she comes out of this alive. Gyth chose you because she is strong and needs a Destroyer of equal strength. She may seem like an average woman, but she is so much more than you could possibly imagine.”

  Payne turned his head and studied her movements; controlled and collected. No, she was not average. Without the gothic apparel he knew she had a body built for sin and those eyes were spectacular. He remembered those eyes. They were the color of steel and ice.

  As he stared at her from the distance, a funny odd taste of honey filled his mouth. Honey? He recalled the taste rather easily.

  Mine.

  “Try using your empathic abilities on her.”

  Payne willed her to look at him, but she didn’t so much as glance his way. He tried harder and stared at her back until his head started to ache. What the hell was wrong with him?

  “She’s special. You cannot will her to do anything. She possesses a barrier to telepathy as well as empathy.” Varick paused. “I know you would rather not, but if you do this for me, I’ll give you one wish, but only after it’s done.”

  Payne grinned and turned to Varick. “One wish? Anything I desire?”

  “Yes, anything that I can give . . . anything that does not affect the free will of anyone else.” Varick shrugged, attempted a laugh. “And if I can get these damned powers to work right.”

  “Damn vampire.” Payne shook his head. “Are you sure about this? You know what I’ll want.”

  Varick smiled slightly. “Your wish will be granted at the end of her Burning.” He paused as he turned to look at Chanta. “But there is one catch.”

  “Figures.”

  “If you hurt her, I will send your soul to the empty abyss for eternity.” Varick laughed uneasily. “And I can now that I am a god and all.”

  “You’re beginning to sound like Gyth.”

  “I will make sure you survive every second of eternity.” Varick’s grin disappeared. “I don’t want her harmed, and if there is anything you can do to make her pain tolerable, do it.”

  Payne’s anger flared. “What makes her so special? Why the hell would you be so interested in her?” He paused as he watched the woman bend over to retie her shoe. Flames of heat blasted his guts as he spoke without looking away from her rather nice backside. “I am pain! You gave me this damn name and you know damn well it’s all I know how to do! Her pain is no problem of mine, and I could care less how much of it she goes through.”

  Varick’s gold eyes flashed dangerously. “You have been loyal to my father and have served him well, but make no mistake Payne, I’ll cut you down if you cross me. You’ll choose your words carefully and pray that I won’t be disappointed.”

  “You didn’t answer my question, Varick.”

  “Look at her,” Varick’s eyes were on Chanta. “She’s an angel, pure. And yet, she has a fire in her soul. She deserves a chance in this life and you’re just the right Destroyer to help her through it. And besides, we both have orders from Isten.”

  “Look at you. Being a god suits you, doesn’t it?” Payne had never seen Varick like this, and he swallowed his anger. “Is this all you want from me? To help her through the Burning and I can be on my way.”

  Varick leaned back, crossed his legs and appeared at ease all of a sudden. “For now, yes, it is. But Isten may have other plans for us after this is said and done.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Payne spit out through clenched teeth. “He and I have a bargain and that’s the end of my dealings with him.”

  “We pledged our allegiance to him.” Varick made a hissing sound. “We are his to command now or did you forget that part?”

  No, Payne hadn’t forgot, but there was a part of the whole, ‘I pledge allegiance to the almighty father of this universe’ that Varick didn’t know, didn’t need to know. Payne had no intention of ever coming back from the Underworld. His ticket was a one way straight to hell and no return.
No need to take baggage; the dead didn’t need clothes.

  Chanta carefully placed the plates on the table and turned away as they continued their discussion. He frowned at her as she hurriedly left the table.

  “Last time I’m going to ask. You sure you want to promise me anything? You know what I’ll want.”

  Varick grinned as he picked up the hamburger. “Make sure that you tell her everything she wants to know.”

  “Yeah.”

  Varick’s soft laughter echoed around the room as Chanta returned with the drinks. She smiled as Varick took a bite of his rather raw hamburger and pointed to the chair at his side. She grinned and sat down as he chewed slowly. The rings on his long sculpted fingers flashed as he sat the hamburger down on the plate.

  Payne couldn’t help but notice that she scooted her chair closer to Varick than to him.

  “This rather overbearing man is called Payne and he is a brute, so please excuse his ill manners. I can assure you that beneath all that brawn there is a heart somewhere.”

  “Are you sure about that?” Her irritation was a tidal wave slapping at the back of Payne’s head, but he couldn’t pinpoint what she was thinking or feeling. All he could manage to pinpoint was the one word that kept bouncing around inside his skull.

  Mine.

  • • •

  Varick chuckled as Payne nervously pulled at the chain collar he wore. As her brother, he would have a hard time staying out of the Burning. He knew he had a job to do. Protect them both while the transition was taking place.

  He watched her and smiled as she studied Payne’s hands. Good, at least she wasn’t completely captivated by Payne’s remarkably handsome face. And he would give credit where credit was due.

  He finished his hamburger and licked his fingers. Human food was most tantalizing, although it sometimes did not agree with his diet of blood, something that hadn’t changed since he had been given his godpowers back. Payne stood and stepped from the table. Varick frowned and followed suit thinking that he may have to summon some lightning to hammer down on the Destroyer’s thick head. Gods above knew, Payne needed some sense knocked into him.

  • • •

  Payne briskly went out the diner’s door and took a deep breath. He was so cold on the inside his blood ran in rivers of ice. And Chanta was hot, like lava scorching his icy resolve. He didn’t like it and damn sure didn’t need it. But her eyes, her battleship steel-colored eyes were mesmerizing. Addictive.

  Even more than he remembered them to be. They were pools that he wanted to drown in.

  Gyth appeared at his side. If he didn’t know better, Gyth had attached a homing beacon to his ass so he could follow him around. And Payne seriously hated that.

  “I know you hate it, that’s why I plague you so often.” Gyth slapped Payne on the back. “In two days the Burning will begin and I expect all to go well.”

  Payne swallowed his anger, his pride and ego screaming at him for retribution. “Why did you pick me?”

  “She’s strong-minded and the beast she carries is even stronger. She needs a strong hand to guide her and you my friend have the strongest hand of any of my Destroyers.”

  “That’s bullshit.” Of course, Payne knew there were other reasons as well, but Gyth was not so inclined to speak of them. The god always had other reasons for everything he did or said. “I’ll do as you want this time. But don’t ever think it’s because I gave in to your little pets of pain and misery.”

  “The why doesn’t matter as long as she survives.”

  “You know that you are a complete jerk-off and I’ll repay you for the visit with the Algea.” Payne grinned. “And I hate you with an undying passion.”

  Gyth chuckled as he vanished leaving these words to trail behind him in the mist, “That my friend is why I like you as much as I do. It takes a hell of a . . . Destroyer to admit to a god that he hates him.”

  “No, Gyth. The reason you like me is because I am Damon’s son.”

  • • •

  Now that his next week and two days had been decided for him, how the hell was he going to approach this? He had never witnessed nor had he discussed the finer issues of the Burning with anyone. Varick could have told him the particulars on the subject, but no, it always had to be the hard way. And there was the simple fact that Payne really didn’t like women. They were good for two things, sex and betrayal.

  And he could do without any more betrayals and was so not up to par with the sex part.

  He grunted his disapproval as her smell filled his senses. He knew she was behind him and he turned as he crushed a bug on the pavement under his boot. She frowned as he held out his hand. Her heart shaped face was soft, kind, and gentle, and it was more than enough to make Payne lose some of his hard-ass exterior. Except he didn’t.

  “We didn’t get off to a very good start eight years ago. I am Payne.” Fuck, he really didn’t like to be touched. He held his hand out.

  She took his hand cautiously and her nostrils flared. “I am Chanta Timbers. And no, we didn’t. You’re the one Gyth chose for me. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”

  Her hand was small, delicate. He looked into her eyes and had to force himself to look at her hand.

  “Don’t think I would go so far as to say that.” He slowly ran his thumb across the top of her hand feeling the wonderful silkiness of her skin. “He’s a self-righteous bastard.”

  She tugged at her hand, but he didn’t release it. “There’s something I want to make perfectly clear.”

  He held her hand for a long minute before releasing it. “And what might that be?”

  Chanta frowned. Her bottom lip quivered before she spoke. “I don’t like you and the only reason we’re standing here is because I don’t want to die.”

  “No, the reason we’re standing here is because after this is done, Varick will owe me.” Payne narrowed his eyes, no sense in lying to her. “We’re standing here because Gyth commanded me to do this, not because I want to do it.”

  Chanta stepped back, crossed her arms over her chest. “Glad we understand each other.”

  “How close is your Burning?”

  “I don’t honestly know. Yesterday was my thirtieth birthday, so I’m sure just any day now.” She looked down at her watch. “Perhaps we can get together some other time and discuss this.”

  Payne growled. “When?”

  Her eyes darkened, a flicker of apprehension in their steely depths. Stepping back, he took her in. She was standing on the edge of flight or fight. She hated him, but she was attracted to him, he didn’t have to be a psychic to figure that out. And as much as he would like to deny the attraction he had for her, he couldn’t. It was there, like a bright shining ball of flame in the darkness.

  The urge to kiss her swamped his body with raw heat. Instincts took over as he stepped to his right and caught her waist bringing her back against the wall of the diner. He could see the undetermined questioning in her eyes as he bent his head to capture her lips. But he couldn’t stop, like a gigantic oak tree collapsing, all he could do was lay claim to what was under him.

  Mine.

  His desire swirled blindly out of control as the sensation of her lips contacting his stiffened his erection to the point of explosion.

  Honey! Sweet intoxicating glorious honey filled his mouth and burned its way into his senses. His desire turned to desperation as she unwittingly and instinctively wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed his body closer to hers.

  He pushed harder and deeper into her mouth as he reached for her leg and brought it up to his hip. He ground into her core needing to let her know how much he urgently needed to be deep inside of her. Needing more, he pulled back and ran his tongue across her lips.

  She pulled back, her mouth opening as if she wanted to protest. He dipped in again, covering her protest with his mouth and seeking that glorious honey taste.

  He captured her tongue between his teeth, scraping his fangs against her lips. She
caught her breath as goose bumps ran up her arms. He expected her to come up fighting. But he was in too deep to let her simply walk away . . . or run for that matter. It sure as hell wasn’t like she had a choice in the near future anyway. And neither did he.

  Sliding his hands down her shoulders and along her arms, her skin felt as if it had been literally singed by flames. Payne groaned his appreciation of her body as she pressed her hands against his chest and pushed, hard.

  He stepped back, let her catch her breath. Her eyes were gray daggers as she pointed at his chest. “Don’t ever do that again. Don’t touch me unless I tell you to. We do this only, and I mean only when I have no other choice. Do you understand?” She stepped around him.

  Payne shrugged his shoulders trying to hide his reluctance to step away. “Fine, tomorrow then. I’ll meet you here.”

  Payne watched her as she walked away. Her entire body was shaking. Was it from fear? He somehow doubted that now. Desire? He couldn’t say for certain which emotion was running through her. Clenching his fists and resisting the urge to follow her through the gates of hell if necessary, he turned on his heel and cursed. He didn’t want to let her go, he wanted to grab her and pull her back into his arms and claim her lips as well as the rest of her body. Yeah, he just needed to get his release and then she would just be a memory.

  Damn! He knew that this woman, Chanta, would never be just a memory. He had never forgotten the near kiss eight years ago, probably would never forget it.

  Then Bastilla’s image slammed into his mind, and his gut twisted, leaving an empty, aching spot in his chest. Her betrayal and deception had created a black void in his heart and soul. A void that was filling with thoughts of Chanta Timbers. He couldn’t allow that to happen, he had to hang onto the pain. And besides, the only reason he was doing this was to finally get his revenge against his father.

  Chapter 9

  Precisely at five after ten, Chanta looked down at her wristwatch and tapped her foot on the pavement outside the diner. She would wait ten minutes then go home and try to forget ever meeting Payne, who had haunted her dreams last night and had haunted her nightmares for years.