Everlasting Light

by Shey Stahl

  Despite the fact I was burning up, my entire body was trembling.

  Beau had one hand on my hip, the other wrapped under my neck driving me into his movements, which had turned passionate and thoroughly focused. I could tell by the darkness in his eyes and his flushed cheeks, he was intent on this, us, fucking me.

  I kept thinking, should I be saying anything? Should I talk dirty to him? No. Just stay quiet.

  “It was so hard to pull away from you last night,” he admitted, spreading kisses over my jaw and against my neck before he pulled back to look at me. His left hand moved from my hip to rest against my cheek.

  I said nothing.

  Any time I felt like talking, I kissed him, saving myself the word vomit dilemma, and I didn’t dare move.

  What I couldn’t ignore were the reactions my body was having to Beau and the angle of his hips. He knew just the right pressure to place on my center with his pubic bone and the way to move his hips.

  I felt everything, and so much more.

  I was so close, and all I needed was that one last push. Thankfully Beau knew what to do and arched his chest away from mine, driving into me with slow, forceful dragging motions.

  Yep. Just like that.

  He’s amazing.

  “Oh, God,” I breathed out through clenched lips and closed eyes as drops of water soaked my face and a rush of pure ecstasy tore through my body. Rocking into his hips, I rode out the ripples consuming me. “Jesus…” I released a long breath I’d been holding onto.

  Beau’s breathing changed from panting, to gasping as his movements sped. Wanting to feel him closer, I pulled at his shoulders, his arms letting go as I brought my lips to his collarbone, sliding across the sweaty and rain-soaked skin.

  He stared down at me as he shook, body trembling, eyes dark and his brow with intensity.

  Say something. No, don’t. Don’t say anything.

  His breath expelled in a heavy pant in the same moment his hand squeezed my thigh, pulling me into his hips one last time as the last of his orgasm pulsed through him.

  We came together, panting, his entire body rigid as the warmth crashed over us. Oh God, the groan he let out in my ear, the way his body tensed; it was all too much.

  I had sex with Beau Ryland.

  It took us a moment of heavy breathing before I finally spoke, rain pelting our faces. “It’s wet in here.”

  That’s random. Talk about the rain when you just had the best sex of your life?

  “We should close that vent. Everything is soaked in here.” Beau sighed, rolling onto his back. Neither one of us said anything for another minute, when he asked, “Was that your first time?”

  I laid my head against his chest, blinking incessantly as I attempted to process what he had just asked and why.

  Did I do something wrong?

  As the words hung in the air, his heart beat rapidly, his breathing erratic.

  “No, it wasn’t.”

  Beau nodded, but said nothing to my confession, and rolled to bring me to his naked body, our legs tangled under the sleeping bag.

  I could feel his heartbeat between my shoulders and his stomach against my back, a gentle rhythm. With both his arms around my middle, I was also glad I was facing away from him, because the way he was holding me made me smile like some kind of lunatic who just had sex with the man of her dreams.

  Lifting my right arm out from under his bicep, I placed my hand over his, which was curved around the top of my rib cage. I wondered if he could feel my heart beating like crazy. I wondered if he knew how I felt about him, how I have felt about him for so long.

  He pressed his face closer; I could feel his nose by the back of my ear, his scruffy jaw scratching against my shoulder. Warming my body and surrounded me, he whispered lowly, “Thank you for tripping into my arms.”

  Shut up, Bentley, now is not the time to say anything. Be normal, if you can.

  “I should be thanking you for catching me after all of my graceful coordination.”

  I could feel his breath on my neck through my hair and over my entire body.

  Beau Ryland did things to me, made me feel a sense of…I didn’t even have a word for the way he made me feel being close to him, but he was exactly what I never thought I needed.

  I wasn’t sure if I could sleep that night with all the thoughts in my head about what we were doing, how I felt, how he felt, all of it, but then Beau made the lowest, quietest humming sound right by my ear, my heart thudding louder than before.

  It made my eyelashes flutter and my heart soar.

  “Goodnight,” he whispered, his voice tickling my ear.

  I hummed in response this time, and sleep found me before I even knew it.

  THE NEXT MORNING, I lay there, unable to process that Beau was, one, asleep beside me in my tent with no clothes on, and, two, had sex with me.

  Embarrassment didn’t do this justice when I thought about having sex with Beau. The sunlight streaming in through the roof in the tent greatly overshadowed the moons reprieve from last night, and I felt naked. Even though I was, I felt almost vulnerable to this. I was petrified of what his reaction was going to be.

  Drawing in a breath, I rolled a little to my right and faced him, sighing contently. He looked adorable and younger than he did when he was awake and the tension in his eyes crept over him.

  I didn’t want him to wake and find me staring at him like the creep I was being, so I rolled back over and stared at the ceiling of the tent. I was kinda surprised the little snoring monster hadn’t come in here last night.

  Oh God, what if she had? Did she see anything?

  The thought made me both a little giddy and terrified.

  The longer I lay there, the more I wondered about my coma theory. Had I hit my head hard enough that I dreamed I had sex with him? My head told me I was dreaming, but other parts of me, the soreness and the fact that I was still naked, confirmed maybe I wasn’t in a coma after all.

  Maybe this was really happening and Beau Ryland was into me.

  I fist pumped the air, and then heard a chuckle beside me.

  “Did you just fist pump the air?” Beau asked, peeking an eye open at me.

  Fuck! Really?

  “Why did you have to open your eyes right then?” I asked, peering over at him, glaring. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

  “So why were you fist pumping? Or is that supposed to be unknown too?”

  “I was uh…well…I was just celebrating the fact I am not in a coma.”

  Ugh…You really just can’t shut your mouth, can you?

  He had his arm over his face, but I could see his blues watching me. Arching an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twisted slightly into a half smile. “A coma, huh? Well, I knew I was good, but good enough to put you in a coma is a new one. But really, I’m a light sleeper.”

  “Uh-huh,” I groaned.

  When he didn’t say anything, I looked at him again and he asked, “Do you remember anything about last night this time?”

  “A little. Maybe you could…refresh my memory.”

  He chuckled, his body shaking in the most adorable boyish way. “Hey, I tried to go for another round—” taking my pillow from me, he put it over his face “—but you kicked me in the balls for waking you up.”

  I did?

  His poor balls. I should really kiss them, or massage them again and make up since they are holding my future children’s DNA in them. Whoa. Slow down. You fucked him once. Don’t get carried away.

  Jeez. Laney had told me I was a little violent at night, but I had no idea I’d do that.

  “Sorry. I like my sleep, and if I’m woken up, I’m not friendly. Laney once told me I slapped her and called her a bitch when she tried to wake me up. I’ve also told her to go to hell and I hated her face. I think it’s a medical condition or something. I’m pretty sure I read it on the intern—” I paused, mid-word, with his light laughter. “Stop smiling at me.”

  “Apparently, you
are talkative in the morning and unfriendly.” he mumbled, his voice marred by the pillow. “We need to move this tent later. I slept on a rock all night.”

  With the sleeping bag pulled down a little, I had a nice view of his stomach and lower regions.

  Jesus, look at him. He’s…fuck.

  The need stirred in my stomach, and I realized I had missed out on how good sex was with the right person.

  “We could, I don’t know, try again.” My voice was timid, floating through the gray morning like a whisper.

  Beau shook his head. “Give me a little bit…you like sleep and I’m not a morning person.” Despite the rejection, he rolled over and drew me into his chest. “Now sleep with me.”

  He wants to actually sleep and cuddle me.

  Okay, I could definitely get used to this. And what kind of cologne does he use, or is that just his natural smell? I might have to ask him when he wakes me.

  “ARE YOU HUNGRY? Miles and Blaine made biscuits and gravy,” Beau asked, returning to my tent as I was getting dressed. I could tell most everyone else was awake with the noise coming from the lake. Beau and I had fallen back asleep this morning and hadn’t woken up until Miles was making obscene sex noises outside the tent.

  My eyes lit up. I was starving.

  What I feared though was when we emerged together, everyone would know he was in my tent with me last night.

  They already knew that, dumb shit.

  Would they stare at me? Would the girls who gave me the stink eye last night be jealous?

  Part of me was okay with that, but I wasn’t one for causing a scene or having anyone stare at me. My lack of walking skills the other night was a perfect example.

  As I pulled on my jean shorts, I looked up at him, nervously. “Yeah, I’m hungry.”

  Beau didn’t reply right away; instead, his expression made me think he was deep in thought, watching me. And then he spoke, lowly, “Are you afraid they’ll see you’re with me?”

  With him? I’m with him?

  He waited, looking contemplative, but curious as to what I was about to say. “Yes.” My voice was like a whisper again, soft spoken and subtle. “I wasn’t gaining too many friends last night.”

  Raising his hands to his head, he turned his hat around backward. “Why do you care what they think?” Once again, his expression appeared lost.

  “I’m not sure. Payton…” I let the words hang in the air, refusing to finish the sentence, finding my hands very interesting.

  “So?” Beau replied right away, his voice even and soft, assuring me my assumptions were wrong. “I’m not with her.”

  There. He said it.

  I nodded, not knowing what to say, and put my freshly-washed shorts and tank top on.

  Beau tossed his flannel in my face. “You can wear that too, if you want.”

  Beau winked watching me button the flannel. “Stop giving me that look. I’m hungry, and if you keep looking at me like that, I’ll be in here all day.”

  What’s wrong with that? Jesus, he’s hot.

  We didn’t say much else that morning as he helped me out of the tent, and to my surprise, no one paid me any attention. Some were drinking beer already, even though it was only ten in the morning, where others were still sleeping.

  A few people were on the dock, cooling off as the sun was already beating down on us.

  After a quick shower, thanks to Beau sneaking me in the master bedroom upstairs, he and I sat together on the deck at a folding table where he ate biscuits and gravy and talked to Miles, and I picked at a cinnamon roll.

  Beau chuckled when the boys left, looking over at my half-gone cinnamon roll. “You sure do have a sweet tooth, pretty girl.”

  I rolled my eyes, licking frosting from my lip. “You have no idea,” I moaned around the sweetness. “I like sweets.”

  “You should try my mama’s apple pie then.” Beau took a bite of his biscuit and chewed slowly. “It’s amazing.”

  Flashing Beau a hopeful smile, because I really wanted to taste his mama’s pie, I noticed Payton watching me, not glaring, but still watching me. I scooted away from Beau a few inches, and then realized I was wearing his flannel, again, what the fuck was the point in scooting away when it was a given I was with him last night.

  “Don’t do that,” he said, as if I should have known what he was talking about.

  I looked at him, his stare moving to mine and to his paper cup of steaming black coffee. “Do what?”

  Beau gave a shrug, raising his cup to his lips. “Act like she makes you nervous,” he answered, his eyes on his cup.

  Uh…how could she not?

  “She does make me nervous,” I replied softly, continuing to pick at my cinnamon roll.

  Beau smiled around his coffee cup. “She shouldn’t.”

  Uh, yes, she should. If there were ever a perfect girl in the dictionary, it would have her face next to it.

  It was so easy for him to say that, but it was another for me to believe it.

  Laney came by, sitting across from Beau and me, her gaze bouncing from mine to his. “Hey kids.”

  “Beau!” Miles yelled from inside the house, banging the kitchen window. I looked up, laughing at his black eyes from where he was kicked in the face yesterday. “Come here.”

  Nodding, Beau reached for his plate. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay,” I said with a smile.

  When he was out of sight, Laney grinned, wide and goofy. “You had sex with him, didn’t you?”

  My smile gave me away, if my heated cheeks didn’t. I was never very good at keeping secrets.

  Laney gave a head nod to Payton, who was still watching me, but now talking to three other girls. “You pissed off the queen.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Uh—” Laney took her cup of coffee and dumped two scoops of sugar in there, then stirred it with her finger “—because she’s been watching you both all morning.”

  “They’re not dating anymore though.”

  My heart began to kick, holding on to hope I wasn’t getting in the way of them and what Beau told me was the truth. I knew they had something; hell, everyone in Mountain Brook knew about them. They were that couple. The cheerleader and the football player, only said football player wanted nothing to do with that life and left after high school to be a musician.

  “So I take it you’re having a good time?” Laney was amused with herself, sweeping her tangled hair back in a bun. “You can thank me now.”

  My brow arched in her direction, and then I noticed Beau standing at the table again holding keys in his hand. “I’m in charge of getting more beer. Wanna come?”

  Alone…with Beau…again?

  Heck yes!

  I jumped up, slamming my knee on the table. “Son of a bitch!” Beau shook his head, in disbelief I was this uncoordinated. “Uh, yeah, I do.”

  “We’ll talk later!” Laney chirped.

  I rolled my eyes, walking along with Beau.

  Beau grinned, raising an eyebrow as he reached for my hand, in front of everyone. “What was that about?”

  “Nothing.”

  When we were inside the truck, I was nervous, my mind scrambling and replaying images of last night.

  Beau chuckled softly and grabbed my arm to scoot me closer to him, his cheek pressing to the side of my face, warm and comforting. “You were too far away.”

  When I didn’t say anything, he started the truck, the engine rumbling to life.

  “You seem distracted this morning.”

  “You have no idea,” I muttered under my breath.

  “Oh, I think I have an idea.” He placed the truck in drive and winked at me.

  “SO YOU GRADUATED, right?” Beau asked when we were on our way back to the lake.

  “Yes, just last week.” It was the first time we’d talked about me.

  “What was your major?”

  “Human development.”

  He made a face, like that wasn’t what h
e was expecting. “Interesting choice.”

  “I’ve always wanted to help people. I want to be an independent living assistant.”

  “Like in a nursing home?”

  “No, assisted living, there’s a difference.”

  “Why there?”

  “My mother is in an assisting living center and has no one but me who visits her. They get lonely and no one is there for them but their family, or independent living assistants, only there’s not enough of them.”

  Beau was quiet for a minute, one hand resting on the steering wheel, the other on the back of the seat, rubbing my shoulder. “Do you have a job waiting for you?”

  “I have an internship in Birmingham. I start in two weeks.” I turned my head to watch him, his eyes on the road. “What about you?”

  “I’m on tour right now.” He paused for a moment as he passed a car in the left lane and then moved back to the right lane of the road. “Hoping that turns into something.” After a brief pause, he asked, “I thought I heard Laney say you’re from Mountain Brook too, is that right?”

  I wanted to be like, ‘Yeah, dude, and you never noticed me until I flew through the air at you like a damn spider monkey.’

  But I didn’t.

  I nodded though. “Yes, I moved there from Jacksonville when I was seven. We actually went to high school together. You graduated when I was a sophomore.”

  “Oh yeah?” He leaned back, relaxing in the seat, his weight settled to one side as he rubbed his left hand over the stubble of his jaw. “I never noticed you.”

  “How could you have? We were never introduced and you were with Payton.”

  “Girl like you,” Beau said conversationally, moving his arm from around me, his hand finding my inner thigh, his fingers rubbing circles over my skin just under the frayed edge of my jean shorts. “I would have noticed, had I met you.”

  “I, uh…had a huge crush on you though.”

  His head whipped around to face me. “Is that so?”

  I nodded dramatically.

  “As clumsy as you are, I’m surprised you didn’t fall into my hands sooner.”

  I wasn’t laughing and glared at him.