Everlasting Light

by Shey Stahl

  He wrote a few for Sam Shaver, who had a number one billboard spot with one of his songs, but Beau had yet to get the attention he deserved with his own music.

  “So tell me.” Beau leaned toward me in the cab of the truck, turning down the music and keeping one hand on the steering wheel as we made the hour drive back to Mountain Brook. “Am I gonna have to fight off any hometown boys when I bring you back with me? That Joel kid seemed hell-bent on getting your attention. Any others?”

  What? Why would he ask that?

  “Uh, no. Don’t have boyfriends. I told you that.”

  His brows scrunched, probably seeing the truth in that statement. “Like ever?”

  “Nope.” I felt ridiculous. “The closest I’ve come to a boyfriend was my lab partner freshman year. We had sex during study sessions.”

  Beau’s chest shook with laughter, but it was tense, the muscles in his arms flexing. “And who was this kid?”

  “Like his name?” I blinked, and he smiled again.

  “Yeah, what’s his name?”

  I swallowed nervously. Why did he want to know this? “Nathan. Why would you want to know that anyway?”

  Beau tipped his head, acknowledging, and then giving me a side-eyed glance. “Just because.”

  Weirdo.

  “Your dad owns Rusty’s, right?” I was getting good a conversation jumping on him.

  Beau let out a breath I didn’t know he was holding. “Yeah, my brother Jensen works there, too.”

  I remembered seeing Jensen around school. He actually went to Auburn University the first two years I was there. I passed him on campus every Tuesday morning, but he never said a word to me.

  Probably because I never tripped around him.

  “Are you close with Jensen?”

  Beau took a deep breath, acting like he had to think about the answer, or maybe wasn’t sure how to word it. “No, I’m not.”

  “Not like you and Blaine?”

  “Nope. Jensen is three years older, and has two kids, Mason and Memphis…we just don’t have a lot in common.”

  “Do they come to any of your shows?”

  “No, well, Tiffany, his wife, has brought the boys a couple times, but my dad has never come to one yet.”

  “Why?”

  “I think…well, he’s never been encouraging of my music. I think he feels if he comes, he’s giving me approval to live a life he thinks is just a hobby.”

  “But you make money doing it, so it’s not like it’s still a hobby, right?”

  “I make enough I can eat and have a place to live, but I’m certainly not rich.” His brow furrowed, as if he was done talking about this, and then asked, “How long is your internship at the hospital?”

  “Well, I start on Monday next week. It’s for six months, and then I might be able to get a job at one of the assisted living centers in Birmingham or even Nashville.” Oh Jesus, that was pretty fucking subtle Bentley.

  “Where?”

  “There’s a few different ones I’ve looked into.” I didn’t want to tell him I knew he’d lived in Nashville at one point and I looked into jobs there. I didn’t want him to realize my obsession bordered on stalker levels. None of his business, right?

  He nodded but said nothing else, his eyes on the road again.

  “When do you go back on tour?”

  “I have to be in Montgomery tomorrow night, then I’m in Atlanta on Friday. I think we have seven more shows on this tour.”

  “That’s exciting.”

  No, it’s actually depressing.

  “It is.” His answer seemed almost…sad.

  He loves you. He wants to never leave you again.

  I’m clearly crazy.

  “Does it get lonely being on the road?”

  That got him. “It does.” And then he smiled, his arm draped over the back of the seat and touching my shoulder lightly. “Too bad you have the internship. I’d kidnap you, take you with me.”

  Goddamn real life!

  I wasn’t sure what to say, so I switched the conversation randomly back to him.

  “So you don’t get to see your nephews then?”

  If he was annoyed by my questions, he didn’t lead on and continued to answer them. I just wished I could stop myself from asking them, but I couldn’t. Probably because, for being his number one stalker, I knew very little about him personally.

  “I see them on holidays and birthday parties.”

  “That’s sad.”

  He shrugged. “What about you? Siblings?”

  “I had an older brother, Corbin, but he died when I was five. I don’t remember much about him.”

  Beau’s eyes were desolate, like he felt regret for asking but wanted to know. “How’d he die?”

  “He had a really bad cold and got a respiratory infection from it. The infection went to his blood. He was only nine.”

  “Jesus, that’s awful.” He cleared his throat, a slow shake to his head. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” I waved him off. “It was a long time ago.”

  “How’d your parents deal with it?”

  “They didn’t very well. My dad was an alcoholic. He finally left when I was fifteen, and I haven’t heard from him since…and my mom went into protective mode. If she could have wrapped me in a bubble, I think she would have. She cried for two months after I left for college. She was in a really bad car accident when I was a sophomore in college and she’s now in an assisted living center because she’s so forgetful.”

  “Fuck, man.” He shook his head, seeming depressed. “That really sucks.”

  “It does. I remember seeing Corbin sick and coughing all night, and then the next morning he went to the doctor with my dad and never came back. I went through this fear about going to the doctor because I thought when you did, you didn’t come home.”

  “Wow, I had no idea.” His posture changed, tensing. “Is that why guys moved from Jacksonville?”

  “Yeah, my mom couldn’t stand to be in that house anymore, so we moved to Mountain Brook.”

  Nodding, Beau focused on the road, never saying anything more. Not wanting him to think he upset me, I rested my hand on the inside of his thigh.

  That resulted in a trip down a country backroad.

  “Never in a million years who I have thought I’d be doing this in your truck, with you.”

  Kissing up the side of my neck, he pushed forward, the truck rocking with him motions. “Don’t say it like that.”

  I froze thinking I’d upset him. “Why?”

  “You’re giving me a complex and I’m not sure I’ll live up to it.”

  “You’ve already exceeded it when you kissed me for the first time.” Closing my eyes, I stared up at the headliner when he buried his head in the space between my neck and shoulder, groaning softly.

  “How so?”

  “A guy like you would have never looked my way had I not fell in your lap.”

  “You’re wrong,” he breathed, never stopping. “I would have noticed.”

  If he did, or didn’t, or wouldn’t, none of it mattered because I was here with him now.

  THE NIGHT HAD arrived, Tuesday night, the moment I would see Beau live in concert.

  We drove home from Mountain Brook on Monday, stopped off long enough for us to grab a change of clothes and then we were onto Montgomery with Blaine, Miles and Wade in tow.

  Before the show, Beau had me backstage for a moment. I gently kissed his lips, only he had other ideas and deepened the kiss. Letting go of my hands, he cupped my face with both of his hands, palms on my cheeks. “Miles and Wade will take care of you. Stay away from the guys or I’ll jump off stage and beat some ass.”

  Throwing my head back, I giggled as he kissed my neck, seeming like he just couldn’t part himself from my skin. “You’re kind of cute when you’re jealous.”

  “I’m dangerous when I’m jealous,” He warned, kissing me with a few more lingering pecks to my lower lip. Pulling away, he kissed my no
se once. “Enjoy the show, pretty girl.”

  Miles, who’d escorted me backstage helped me back into the general admission area where Blaine was waiting.

  When she noticed me, Blaine put her arm around my shoulder. “Do you like my brother? I mean, I know you two are fucking but do you like him?”

  It was a simple question. An obvious one, but simple.

  “I’ve had a crush on him since I was fourteen and he winked at me. I was obsessed from then on. He was like Prince Charming and unattainable. A fantasy really. And then, bam, I trip and land in his lap. And now here I am, still feeling like I’m in dreamland.”

  Stop talking. She’s going to think you’re a weirdo.

  “Okay…so are you convinced my brother’s into you yet?” Blaine looked over at me as she spoke, smiling, and this time her blues didn’t bother holding anything back. She wanted me to believe her.

  At the mention of my feelings for him, though, I wanted so desperately to fight anything I felt, in fear it wasn’t going anywhere, I smiled.

  When I fell into his lap, I never thought I’d experience what I had so far. It was like a dark gray morning when the sun finally crept through, broken cracks sparkling honeyed rays. He was lighting up beauty I’d never imagined before.

  Leaning into Blaine, I whispered, “I’m really not sure. But I couldn’t get much more into him unless I was physically part of him.”

  She grinned. “If my brother doesn’t love you yet, I do.”

  We were standing in the front row at the Montgomery Performing Arts Center, awaiting Beau to come on stage. The first opening act was currently playing.

  The stage lights were bright, bursting around the stage, creating heat all around me. Reflected from the white lights, the stage seemed so vast in comparison to the men standing on it.

  “Beau’s after this guy,” Blaine noted, staring up at the stage, squinting, but refusing to put her glasses on.

  “He’s been playin’ amazing on this tour,” Blaine murmured, ignoring Wade when he spit chew in her direction, coming to stand next to us.

  “No, he hasn’t,” Wade mumbled, already drunk and looking down at Blaine with mischievous eyes. “He’s playin’ like shit.”

  Wade definitely reminded me of Beau. He had the same Ryland blue eyes and that silly smirk they all seemed to hold at bay when they wanted. They could have passed for brothers.

  “And what would you know, nut sack?” Blaine took her beer and dumped it on him, like that wasn’t anything new for her. It wasn’t, because in the few days I’d officially known them, Wade had worn at least four beers.

  “More than you,” Wade teased, shaking off the beer now covering the front of his black T-shirt. With the heat, he didn’t seem to mind being wet.

  There was such a rush around us, bodies swaying, the vibrations of live music, and it was easy to get lost in the energy. I could definitely see the appeal being at a concert held.

  EVERYONE WAS CLAPPING as Beau took the stage, the venue erupting with screams. Finally, it was the moment I had been waiting for.

  Beau’s head was bent forward, but I noticed the smile tugging at his lips from where I was, center stage at his feet like a true groupie would be.

  He looked around before approaching the microphone. “Hey—” there was another fit of screams, some from me, some from the group around me “—I’m Beau Ryland.”

  The noise was somehow dimmed by a steady drumbeat, everyone beginning to feel the music even before it really began. Beau turned and smiled at the bassist to his right. I really wasn’t sure what to expect when he invited me to Montgomery with him, or how seeing him in concert would be. Surely it would be different from the lake, and I was right already. Not only that, I was impressed to see how relaxed he was up there.

  After they exchanged a few words, followed by laughter, Beau turned back around as he adjusted his guitar strap. He played a few notes and then stopped, grinning that crooked smile he had. “I’ve got some family here tonight, and my girl too.” He winked down at me. “And ya know, this is Bentley Rae’s first concert. Whatcha say we make it one she’ll remember?”

  Everyone cheered, but I just stared up at the stage in shock. He called me his girl and singled me out in front of everyone.

  My face was immediately on fire. The swarm of high-pitched screaming girls near the stage went crazy.

  Beau looked at me for a brief moment, knowing my reaction. His smile, crooked and powerful, made it hard not to spill my heart on the ground before him.

  He leaned into the microphone, our eyes remaining on one another. “She doesn’t think I’m charming…” The crowd ahhh’d when he stuck his bottom lip out.

  “You’re not!” Blaine yelled, her hands around her mouth to carry the sound.

  He frowned, shaking his head at Blaine. “My sister’s here too.”

  While Beau played the first riff of the song “Nothin’ Wrong,” his eyes were downcast. He looked up and my breath caught in my chest.

  Holy shit.

  Beau’s voice rose above the shrieking crowd, both hands clutched the microphone, pouring out words that came from deep in his soul. “We all got more than this nowhere town in common. It aint much to talk about, but here we are talkin’…we don’t got a lot of money, but that won’t be what stops us from havin’ a good time and livin’ the good life.”

  I gasped at the intensity, having never seen this side of Beau before. It wasn’t like around the fire or the boat; this was his life, band and all, with lights and screaming fans…I found it hard to breathe with the feeling of the bass in my chest and his voice surrounding me.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off him, the liveliness in his performance and the desire he put into it, leaving every girl in here wishing they were going home with him.

  Well, maybe everyone but Blaine.

  During the chorus, his eyes were drawn to mine as he sang just for me, my breath stolen with every word. “We got the moonlight…and we’ve got some cold, cold beer…And that bonfire ain’t the only thing burnin’ here.”

  His hair was damp with sweat, his white T-shirt clinging to his body, his face contorted as he sang with such emotion it was clear to see this was his passion.

  His voice was straining, his rasp cracking with the way he pushed out the lyrics. It was all perfect, the way the music amplified his voice, the intensity the crowd provided, and his rapt attention on me, only me.

  The music soared through the venue, taking with it the souls of everyone in here, listening to his words poured from his chest.

  When the song ended, my ears were ringing from the screams and I couldn’t believe this guy I crushed on for so long was a rock star and I hadn’t even knew this side of him.

  Beau chuckled into the mic. “Okay…I take it y’all liked that one. This is a new one I’ve been playing around with.” He flashed a sly smile. “It’s a dirty one so…you know…deal with it.” He winked at the crowd, who went wild.

  Beau burst into the sexiest lines I had heard yet, and left Blaine pretending to gag beside me. “Slide on over, I’ll be gentle but if you want more, we can get a little dirty.” He started laughing, barely taking the song seriously, but the crowd loved it despite the roughness. “I feel like I should be naked singing this one.”

  When Beau saw how everyone was getting into his music, he fed off the crowd and upped the intensity of just about everything, from his passion in the lyrics to his interactions with the crowd, and eventually took his shirt off for the crowd, or maybe for me.

  I definitely wasn’t complaining one bit.

  I think I lost my voice twenty minutes into him playing. I even reached out to him when he fell to his knees in front of me at one point.

  I had officially become what Blaine told me was a groupie.

  “Montgomery knows how to party,” he noted, looking to the band and laughing at how loud they’d become. He lifted his shirt to wipe sweat from his face. I watched the muscles in his honed physique as they flexed with
each breath.

  I was becoming morbidly obsessed with him.

  “So, I said my sis is here too…and the first song I ever learned to play was one she loved called “Hey, Hey” by Sawyer Brown. This goes out to Blaine.”

  Blaine leaned into me, her lips at my ear so I could hear her over the crowd. “He used to play this for me and I’d dance around my room when our parents weren’t home.”

  My heart pounded in my chest with the piano and Beau standing in front of me, just three feet away, both hands holding the mic.

  Blaine and I danced to the song, but still, I kept my eyes on Beau.

  When the song finished, he was back to talking to the crowd. “I have one more song for you. Y’all probably want something you’ve heard before, right?” Everyone screamed in response as Beau raised his hand to calm the crowd, and then turned his hat around backward.

  The band went into the opening beats of a Big & Rich song as Sam Shaver came on stage on with him.

  “Give it up for Sam Shaver!”

  They did all right, as he was the reason most of them were here.

  Blaine and I danced to the song, as we did to every single one of them.

  The beat slowed down, the crowd quieting when Beau dropped to his knees before me, his voice a growling harshness that could melt the panties off any girl. It sounded like a moan, one I’d surely remember forever. “Save a horse…ride a Schow girl.”

  Did he really just say that? Yep. He did. He altered the lyrics of “Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy)” to include my name.

  My idea of a country concert was nothing like what I envisioned it would be. Beau was talking to the crowd way more than I expected. He even sat down at one point, threatened to strip down completely naked, and shot-gunned a beer with a dude out of the front row.

  It was nothing like I expected a country concert to be, but then again, this was more of pop country with a mix of rock and roll. Nothing like I’d ever heard before.

  “Thank you guys! Thanks to Sam for having me on tour with him.” He waved to the crowd one last time and then walked off stage.