by Vi Carter
“They don’t tell you about these passageways during the tour,” I say, allowing my hands to trail along the old green wallpaper. Gold shapes coat them and if you stare too much it makes you dizzy, so I focus on Gerald’s wide back.
“It isn’t public knowledge.”
I smile at his back. It is weird hearing him speak. I have so many questions, but being out of my room and seeing something different keeps all my questions at bay.
Gerald stops and pushes a part of the wall. It clicks and I watch as it opens. We step into a library. Gerald closes the bookcase behind us before closing the main library door. My stomach lurches as he turns a key, locking us in. The high ceilings and the architecture of the room consume me as I move in a full circle, taking it all in. I hear the rattle of glasses, but I just want to touch everything. Taking three steps up, I stand on a carpeted space that’s vacant of furniture. Bookshelves are built around me from ceiling to floor. I’ve been in this room before, but I was too afraid to really take it in. I turn to find Gerald watching me. He’s standing near a Queen Ann chair that I remember him sitting on when he asked me to dance for him. My pulse jumps as he walks towards me.
“Do you live here?” I ask as he climbs the three steps and places the glass in my hand. I take a sip of the liquid that burns the back of my throat.
“Yes.” His answer is quick and he glances around the space much like I had.
“Do you like to read?”
I take another sip before I answer. We were standing here like two normal people having a conversation, but there is nothing normal about this.
“Why do you wear the mask?” I step closer to him and he doesn’t move.
“I ask the questions.” He takes a drink from his glass and now I can’t even pretend this is normal. He just reminded me of how wrong all of this is. But I don’t want to go back to my room. My bare feet sink into the carpet as I walk to the bookshelves.
“Yes. I love to read.” I glance at Gerald over my shoulder. He hasn’t moved and my stomach quivers. I’ve never seen eyes like his. They hold so much coldness, and yet I see a spark of interest as he studies me.
“You can take some back to your room.” His words should have made me smile, but my body feels heavy. I didn’t want to go back to my room.
I take another sip of my drink. “Did you grow up here?” I ask as I stare at all the old books. I can tell from the covers that the English wouldn’t be easy to read and wouldn’t be to my taste. Taking a book off the shelf, I open it and enjoy the smell of the musty pages.
“Yes.” His answers are always one worded, yet I felt like he is sharing, which is something I don’t think he was used to.
“Were you happy?” I turn to him now, holding the book to my chest.
He blinks and takes a drink. “No.”
“Did someone hurt you?”
His smile is quick, white teeth flashing. It only lasts a second and it’s filled with pain but my stomach and heart jumps.
“Your hell bent that someone hurt me.” He finishes his drink, the earlier pain gone. His eyes look bluer now, colder.
“I think we all act from an emotion we’ve felt. Some are stronger than others.”
He grins and once again there is no humour, but I’m fascinated by his mouth. “Like lust?”
My face heats up immediately and his eyes shine. He knows he is steering us away from him. I tell myself to be strong.
“Yes or pain.”
His eyes harden and he stares at me. “Finish your drink.” He turns away from me and I regret pushing so hard. I empty the glass and walk to the bookshelf where I replace the book.
“You can take it with you.”
I turn to him as I keep my hand on the book. “I don’t want it.”
A knock at the library door has me staring at it. Someone turns the knob. “Gerald.” Linda’s voice penetrates the door.
He looks unsure as he glances at me. “Stay there.” He tells me as he makes his way to the door. I want to ask him where else would I go. He half opens the door.
“Is everything okay? Why are you wearing a mask?” I can hear Linda’s inquisitive voice. Stepping away from the books I carefully take the three steps, I pause when my bare feet touch the hard wood.
“Yes. I’m busy.” Gerald’s voice is filled with irritation.
I take a few more steps until I can see Linda.
“I’ll come back another time,” she says before her brown eyes snap to me, they widen slightly in surprise and then she’s gone as Gerald closes the door.
“I thought I told you to stay up there,” he says while locking the door.
“Oh, I thought you meant as in this room.” I had known exactly what he had meant. He turns and that smile that makes my toes curl but my heart pound in fear is back on his face.
“You knew exactly what I meant.” He takes a step towards me and I take a step back.
“You were disappointed it was Linda weren’t you?” He steps closer and I continue to step back. “Were you going to scream for help?” The thought had never entered my mind. I hit a desk and my hands immediately grip the wood.
“Honestly, no.”
He doesn’t stop his advance until he’s right in front of me. His knee nudges my legs apart and he steps in between them.
“I should punish you for lying to me.”
Excitement bubbles up inside me. “But I didn’t lie.”
His hand moves to my hip and roams across the nightgown, he pulls the rope that holds it together. The air touches my skin as he opens it fully. His fingers trail across my thigh before he touches me. I gasp wondering how the hell I could be ready for him again, but I am. His fingers dip inside me as he leans in, and whispers in my ear. “What should your punishment be?”
I bite my lip as his lips trail kisses along my cheek before they reach my mouth. I’m two seconds away from begging him to take me here and now on this desk. His fingers move deeper and another one enters my wet pussy. His kiss is hard and I meet it with my own want. Flicking my tongue into his mouth, his tongue enters mine and I moan and whimper as he removes his hand. I hear his zipper before his erection pushes against me. He doesn’t put it in, instead he moves back.
“Bend over.” I’m panting, feeling flushed, but I get off the desk and do as he asks. The dressing gown is still on me and covers my back. He removes it quickly and spreads my legs before placing his cock at my opening. He bends around me, his arms reaching for my breasts and squeezes my nipples. The pain has me hissing and he slams into me.
“You’re so wet.” His words have me clenching around him inside me, and he releases my breasts as he stands up straight. He’s displaying that same savagery as he had in the bedroom when he had taken me against the wall. His flesh slaps against mine painfully, only this time I want him to go harder. I want more.
My hands grip the edge of the desk as he groans, and sinks deeper into me if that was even possible. I feel stretched, he’s filling every inch of me, filling me up with all of him. His movements are frantic now as he pounds into me, and I’m so close to releasing all over him.
“Come for me Cara.” The use of my name sends me over the edge and I do as he asks. I come all over him as he releases himself inside me. I’m still panting as Gerald pulls out of me. I don’t move as he zips himself back up. I glance at Gerald through my hair and I hate how I feel when I look at him. How could anyone have the power to make me feel like this? I’ve never felt so alive, but also something inside me has died since I arrived here.
He holds out my nightgown and I turn, meeting his sharp blue eyes. My gaze flickers to his lips and I want to kiss them slowly. I want to really feel them on mine, but he steps away from me and walks up to the bookshelves.
“We better get you back to your room,” he says while opening the bookcase.
“Yeah. My mother will be beside herself waiting on me.” My angry words fall from my lips and I don’t expect him to hear me, but he does and he laughs.
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nbsp; I’m frozen. It’s not the cruel or cold laughter that I had heard before. He’s smiling and I’m spinning, my heart pounds and heat fills my hands.
His smile slowly dissolves off his face as I stand frozen, staring at him. He has no idea the effect he has on me. How one action or reaction from him could send me into a spin. It’s like my brain has short circuited and it takes me a moment to place one foot in front of the other until I reach him. I’m still high on Gerald, so when I pause I look up at him.
“You should smile more,” I say.
“Maybe I will Cara.” The use of my name has a smile that I can’t stop spreading across my face.
“You should smile more too.”
“All I need is a reason Gerald.”
His eyes light up and I wonder, does me using his name have the same effect on him as it does on me.
He moves through the door and I follow him down the hallway that leads to my room. My cage, my loneliness and worst of all, my thoughts.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
HER
The club is busy when I arrive the next day. There are new girls here that I haven’t met before. Candy introduces me, but the names go right over my head. I can’t stop thinking about Gerald.
“Earth to Cara.” Candy narrows her eyes at me but she’s smiling. “What are you thinking about? Or should I say who?”
My face flames, but I’m not sure if Candy can see it through the layers of makeup that’s on my face. Before I get to answer her, Linda steps into the changing room and scans the girls before she focuses on me.
“You’re up,” she says with a tilt of her head. She’s been acting even stranger than normal, and I wonder if it’s because she saw me in the library. I knew I would eventually have to dance center stage, but still my stomach twists and tightens.
“You will kill it girl,” Candy’s words of encouragement have me smiling.
“Thanks.”
I step up to Linda. “I’m ready,” I say more to prepare myself.
She doesn’t smile. There’s a darkness in her eyes that I haven’t seen before. “Good. I’ll take you to the room.”
Coldness seeps into me and I can’t seem to move. “Room?”
“The back room. There’s a client waiting for you.” She smiles almost smugly at me, and so many thoughts rush through my mind.
“Does Gerald know?” Pain like I’ve never felt before burns through me.
She sniggers. “I own you, Cara. Once you’re in this club. You’re mine to do with as I see fit. Gerald knows.” She adds, and it’s like someone is twisting a knife. I follow Linda numbly as I glance around the club. I’m waiting for someone to say that Linda has made a mistake, but no one does. We reach the door and Damien steps aside, he doesn’t even blink as his eyes collide with mine.
“Linda,” I plead. She turns to me and places a finger over her lips. I want to beg her not to do this. I’ve allowed Gerald to use me so why not some other man? Why did this feel different? Linda stops at the last door and opens it.
“She’s here.” She smiles at whoever is inside. Each step feels like an eternity before I step up beside Linda and look in the door. A man in his sixties sits on the bed. He’s trim and he looks like your friend's dad. He looks normal.
“Hello dear.” His voice is soft, his smile warm. I don’t like it.
“Cara is here to do as you please.” Linda informs him and nudges me in the back. I step deeper into the room.
“The Boom Boom Rooms are my favorite.” His sly smile and childlike expression has me glancing at Linda. There is a moment of uncertainty as she forces another smile.
“I’m very glad to hear it. If you need assistance, there’s a bell on the table.”
A silver polished bell is the only thing sitting on the mahogany table in the corner. The room is dominated by the bed that the man is sitting on. The rest is just lighting.
“Hello Cara.” His smile is sweet and my stomach lunges as Linda leaves. I want to cover myself, but I keep my hands hanging at my sides. Sweat starts to gather on his forehead as he stares at me.
“Did Linda tell you what I want?” He looks at me from under his lashes. Black hair that’s split in the middle makes him look odd.
“No.” Linda hadn’t told me anything.
He bristles, not happy with having to explain. “I want you to masturbate for me. I want to watch you.”
I had no desire to come. I had thought this was for his pleasure, not mine.
I walk to the bed and he holds up his hands, stopping me. “Don’t touch me. Lie on the floor. The bed is mine.” I wanted to ask him what his deal is. Who comes here and doesn’t want to be touched, but maybe I should count myself lucky. I lie on the floor and glance at him as he starts to remove his clothes. His laced shoes come off first and he places them perfectly together. I lie on the floor as he removes all his clothes and folds them, even down to his white pants.
“You may start,” he says while removing a pillow case from a pillow.
I slip my hand between my legs and start to touch myself. I wasn’t going to come like this. I had never faked it before, but I’m sure I could manage. I glance at him as he places the pillow case on the bed before he sits down. His eyes meet mine and he smiles.
“Could you remove your underwear so I can see?”
Gritting my teeth, I do as he asks.
“Spread your legs more.”
Closing my eyes, I spread them as far as I can.
“Ah that’s perfect.”
I want to close my legs. I hate that this man has such access to me. I feel it would be easier if it was quick sex. I feel so exposed. It’s degrading. I hold back the tears as I touch myself. His groans and grunts are loud. He’s masturbating, his focus fixed between my legs. I close my eyes again, and this time I think of Gerald. I think of his hands on my body, his cock inside me and I start to grow wet. I dip my fingers inside myself and rub the juices all over my clitoris. A strong jaw and perfect lips I picture. I picture intense blue eyes watching now. It’s Gerald watching me now. It’s Gerald sitting on that bed. I groan in pleasure and I try to ignore the grunts that are coming from the bed. Grunts that Gerald would never make. Movement has me opening my eyes. He’s standing now, his cock in his hands as he pumps it roughly. He moves until he’s standing over me.
“Come for me Cara.”
I snap my eyes shut. I shouldn’t have looked at him. My body is drying up. I quickly try to pull back the image of Gerald as I touch myself. I’m instantly wet as I dip my fingers back in and out quickly. My free hand slides to my breast and I squeeze my nipple. My body hums and I move my hand faster.
“Watch me. Like I’m watching you.” I open my eyes. My vision fills with his balls as he pulls his cock with a speed I match. He’s up here, but Gerald’s down there. Fucking me. I release quickly all over my hands. Warm liquid splashes my chest and I close my eyes as his cum sprinkles across my face. I don’t want to move from the ground. I just want a hole to appear under me and swallow me whole.
I open my eyes. “Do you have a towel?” I quiz. The man is back at the bed using the pillow case to clean himself with.
“Don’t move.” He sounds angry now. Once he has pulled on his white pants, he picks up the silver bell and rings it. I start to get up.
“I told you not to move Cara.”
My blood boils at the use of my name. A soft knock sounds at the door before Linda enters. I die a little more as she glances down at me.
“You never informed Cara of what I wanted. I had to explain myself. It made me feel uncomfortable.”
Uncomfortable. I was lying here practically naked with cum all over me while they discussed how he felt uncomfortable.
“I do apologize, an oversight on my part. There will be no payment this time.”
I want to ask for a towel again to clean him off me. But speaking will get their attention, and right now they are focused on payment.
“I feel Cara deserves something.”
My skin burns.
“You can leave her a tip if that makes you more comfortable Carl.”
“It would. Thank you, Linda.”
The door closes and Carl continues to get dressed. I don’t move. I don’t even open my eyes.
“I’ve left a little something for you,” he says and I look up at him as he steps over me. I don’t move as he leaves the room. I need to get up. I need to move. The pillowcase he had used to clean himself with is on the floor. I crawl over to it and pick it up and clean my chest and my face.
It’s okay, Cara.
I fix my clothes and stand up. Twenty euro sits on the wooden table. Twenty euros. That’s what I was worth. I’m staring at it when the door opens again.
“You are finished.” Linda speaks from behind me and I clench my fists.
Anger heats my body up and I turn to her. “What, being degraded and humiliated?” I say and I can feel the scorch of shame burn my chest.
“That’s what you are here for. To entertain. You are entertainment. A payment for a debt.” Her words are cold and cruel and I stumble back. I know Linda is tough, but I never thought she was cruel.
“Did my dad run up the debt in these rooms?” I ask the dreaded question.
“What does it matter?”
“It matters to me.” My shouts have Linda closing the door behind her.
“Keep your voice down,” she speaks through gritted teeth.
“Why? What else can you possibly do to me? Does Gerald know?”
Linda’s lips tug up and she laughs. “Oh, I see. You think you mean something to Gerald?”
My face burns more at her mocking tone. Did I? Yes, I did.
“You are like Wendy and Candy to him. Money spinners.” She steps closer and my heart cracks.
“You can leave now.”
I move around Linda.
“I mean this place. The debt is cleared.”
My hand is on the handle and I can’t sort out everything I am feeling. I was free. Tears fill my vision as I turn to Linda. “I can leave?”
“Your father’s dead. So the debt died with him.”