‘Oh, yeah.’ Drago fished around in his jacket pocket and handed Jess a signed CD of his latest album. It said, ‘To Jessie, get beter soon, Drago, xx’.
‘OMG! He misspelt better.’ Chloë clamped a hand over her mouth.
Jess shushed her. ‘Thank you so much.’
‘Cool, so I’m gonna go now.’ Drago scurried towards the door, followed by Hazel.
They heard her mutter, ‘Thirty grand for five minutes and you can’t sing.’
There was silence in the room, until Chloë said, ‘Who knew Drago Jackson can’t sing or spell?’ and burst out laughing.
Jess looked down at the CD and began to laugh too. Then Kate and Piper joined in. They laughed until tears rolled down their faces.
When Hazel arrived back, they were still laughing. Her harassed face broke into a smile. ‘Jesus, I’m glad you’re all laughing – I was afraid you’d be crying. Useless, overindulged eejit of a boy.’
Jess wiped tears from her eyes. ‘Thank you, Hazel. It was the best morning ever.’
‘I’m sorry he was such a disappointment,’ Hazel said.
‘He wasn’t,’ Jess protested. ‘I loved him, and I kind of feel sorry for him. I used to want to be famous, but now I’m not sure. It’s a lot of pressure.’
‘Pressure, my arse,’ Hazel exclaimed. ‘Pressure is having cancer, not singing out of tune.’
They all laughed again.
‘Wait until I tell everyone that my mum forced Drago to sing and shouted at him. You’re mad, Mum, but I love you.’
Hazel threw her arms around Chloë and kissed the top of her head. ‘Well, to see Jess laughing and hear you say you love me, it was worth every penny.’
35
Kate and Olivia stood at the side of the bed, their faces turned towards the scanner. On the screen they could see Piper’s baby clearly. As the sonographer moved the probe around, clicking images and measuring the child, they stood shoulder to shoulder, watching in silence.
Seeing the baby on the screen made it all very real in a new way. Kate could feel herself getting emotional. Her baby’s baby. Her firstborn’s child. It was insane, yet here they were, staring at this tiny new life.
She glanced at Luke, who was squeezing Piper’s hand and shaking his head in amazement. They looked so young. Kate caught Olivia’s eye – she was welling up too. Kate knew she was thinking the same thing: they were too young for all this responsibility. But they had made their decision and their families had to respect it and try to help.
If there was one thing Jess’s cancer had taught Kate it was that you never knew what was around the corner. You could make all the plans you wanted for your children, but life would slam you in the face at any second and turn your world upside-down.
Who knew? Maybe they’d be great parents and it would all work out. Kate just had to hope for the best. She smiled encouragingly at Olivia, and Olivia raised her eyebrows and sighed. From what she’d seen of her so far, Kate really liked Olivia. She seemed down-to-earth and forthright. You knew where you stood with someone like Olivia. It would be a great help to the whole situation if the two grannies got on well. Kate winced. Granny! It was crazy.
She looked back at the screen. The baby floated around before them, oblivious to them in its dark world. It really was a miracle to think that inside Piper’s stomach a child was being formed. It was what life was about, Kate thought. Life creating life. Motherhood was her raison d’être. She vowed to be a good grandmother and love this child as much as she did her own three.
The sonographer began talking to Luke and Piper, and showing them the measurements. Olivia leant against Kate and said quietly, ‘They’re so young.’
‘That’s just what I was thinking. God, I hope they’ll be all right.’
‘I think we’re going to have to do a lot of minding and helping out,’ Olivia whispered.
‘I agree. They have no idea what’s ahead.’
‘None,’ Olivia said. ‘I hope it works out.’
‘Me too.’ Kate took Olivia’s hand and squeezed it.
‘I’m so glad you’re on board, Kate. I was worried before we met that you’d want nothing to do with it all.’
‘Gosh, no! I want to help as much as I can,’ Kate assured her. ‘This is Luke’s responsibility and my grandchild. I’ll be there every step of the way.’
‘I really appreciate it. I know you have your hands full at the moment with Jess. We’re all praying for her. Piper’s so fond of her.’
‘Thank you. Jess adores Piper – she’s so lovely to her. She’s a credit to you.’
Olivia’s eyes filled again. ‘She’s a great girl. I just wish her father would come around – he’s heartbroken. He can’t handle it at all.’
‘Fathers can be difficult.’ Kate sighed. Nick had called her ten times to try to get her to force Luke and Piper into having an abortion. He was driving her mad. She knew he only wanted the best for Luke, but he needed to bloody well accept the baby instead of fighting it. He had chosen the path of most aggression – with the doctors, with cancer, and now with an unborn baby. It was unhelpful and bloody exhausting.
‘I think Luke’s going to be a great dad,’ Olivia said. ‘He’s a really genuine boy. You’ve raised him well.’
‘I hope so. It hasn’t been easy for him with Nick leaving and all that, but he’s been such a rock to me. I think he’s probably more responsible than most eighteen-year-olds – he’s had to be.’
‘Maybe they’ll make it,’ Olivia said.
‘We have to hope so,’ Kate said.
Luke came over to them. ‘I have to go. I’ve got rugby training.’
‘I can give you a lift – I’ve a seminar to get to now,’ Olivia said.
‘You guys go ahead. I’ll drop Piper home,’ Kate offered.
‘Are you sure?’ Olivia asked.
‘Absolutely.’
‘Cool. Thanks, Mum.’ Luke leant over to kiss her cheek. ‘I’ll be in to see Jess later. And thanks for being here today, Mum.’
‘The baby’s beautiful, Luke.’
He grinned. ‘I know. It’s incredible to see it growing.’
Kate watched them go as Piper wiped the gel off her stomach and pulled up her tracksuit bottoms.
She waddled over to Kate. ‘Thanks for dropping me home.’
‘I’m happy to. It was lovely to see the baby. It was a great distraction. Thanks for asking me to come.’
‘I really wanted you to see it. I wanted my mum and dad to see it too. Dad said no, though.’ Piper’s cheeks flushed.
‘Give him time. Nick hasn’t totally come around either. Fathers can take longer to accept things.’
‘I hope you’re right. He seems so disappointed in me. It’s hard to … to …’ Piper began to sob.
Kate steered her to a row of chairs in the reception area and sat down beside her. It was the first time they had been alone together, and the first time Kate saw how hard the poor girl was struggling. ‘Hey, now. I know it’s hard for you, but your dad loves you and nothing can change that.’
‘That’s what Mum says. I’m sorry, Kate, I didn’t mean to cry. I’m so emotional all the time. I just feel so bad for upsetting everyone. I know this must be hard for you. I mean, you’ve got so much stress with Jess – you really didn’t need your son’s stupid girlfriend getting pregnant.’
Kate patted Piper’s hand. ‘Don’t you go blaming yourself. It takes two to tango. You were both careless, but it happens. The important thing is that you stay strong for each other and your baby.’
‘I will, I promise. I know I’m a mess now, but I’m strong and I love Luke. I really do. He’s so amazing. You all are. Jess is the bravest girl I know, and Bobby’s so cute, and I’m so lucky to be part of your family. I’d never do anything to hurt you and I just want you to know that I’m sorry.’ More tears ran down Piper’s face.
Kate put her arm around Piper’s shoulders. ‘Stop apologizing. We’re the lucky ones. You’ve been so lovely to Jess
and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that. You’re like the sister she always wished for. And I know you love Luke – I can see it. He loves you too. You’ve been a rock to him, and I’m so glad he has you, Piper. You’re a fantastic girl.’
Piper pulled a tissue out of her coat pocket. ‘Don’t be nice to me or I’ll never stop crying. I never knew you could be happy and terrified at the same time.’
Kate laughed. ‘Welcome to the world of motherhood. You’ll spend the rest of your life happy and terrified for your children. We mothers adore our kids, but we worry about them all the time, too. That’s normal. The important thing for you to know is that we’re all here for you. You’re not alone, Piper. You have a wonderful family who love you and a new family who love you too.’
Piper threw her arms around Kate and buried her face in her neck. ‘You have no idea how much that means to me. You’re such a brilliant mother. I want to be just like you.’
I sincerely hope you have a less bumpy road, Kate thought, as she stroked Piper’s hair.
That evening, Kate was sitting in hospital reading aloud when Jess began to cough. It got worse. Kate stood up and leant over her, patting her back gently. ‘Take it easy – try to catch your breath.’
Jess was gasping for breath. ‘Ooooooooh.’ She groaned as she coughed again. Blood splattered all over the sheets and Kate.
‘Help me,’ Jess wheezed, and vomited more blood. Her breath was ragged, and her eyes were wild with panic.
‘Oh, my God!’ Kate held her and screamed for help. Don’t let her die, she prayed, please don’t let her die.
A couple of seconds passed, which felt like hours, and panic gripped her. She felt sick with fear. Where were they? She didn’t want to let Jess go, but she needed back-up. She sprinted to the door and onto the corridor, looking around wildly.
‘Help,’ she cried. ‘It’s Jess. Quickly!’ She heard running feet and swivelled around.
Aideen, Jess’s favourite nurse, was racing towards her. ‘What’s happened?’ she called.
Kate didn’t stop to talk, she dashed back into the room and grasped Jess by the shoulders, holding her upright.
Aideen burst in, then stopped short when she saw all the blood. She turned and barked instructions to a passing nurse, the urgency and concern clear in her voice. Then she walked quickly to the bed. ‘It’s okay, Jess, I’m here,’ she said calmly.
Please, God, don’t take her, Kate begged. Don’t take my baby, please, please.
A moment later Kate was ushered out of the room while doctors and nurses dashed about, trying to control Jess’s bleeding. After what seemed like an eternity, Dr Kennedy came out of the room. ‘She’s stable and sleeping now, Kate. But I’m afraid Jess has developed another infection, which is most unfortunate. We’ve put her on an antibiotic drip and we’re going to run some tests to see if we can find the source. Often in these cases we don’t discover it but the infection is dealt with nonetheless by the antibiotics. Her white blood count will hopefully reach a level soon where it will allow her to fight the infection on her own. She’s very weak right now. She needs rest. I’ll be back later to check on her. It’s another unfortunate setback.’
Kate nodded. She felt more tired than she’d ever thought possible. It was one step forwards and three steps back. Over and over again. Why couldn’t Jess catch a break? Why couldn’t she just get better, come home and be herself again?
Kate sank into a chair and put her head into her hands. Why, God, why are you doing this to us, to her, to the sweetest girl in the world? Why are you punishing her? She sobbed, for Jess, for herself, for Luke, for Bobby, for her father, for the unborn baby … for everyone. Kate wanted to sleep and sleep and wake up when all of this was over. When life was good and kind again. When the nightmare was over once and for all.
36
Piper shuffled into the kitchen in her slippers and dressing-gown. She’d slept badly and was tired and hungry.
Her father was sitting at the kitchen table with the twins and Pauline, reading his newspaper and doing his best to ignore them.
‘Morning, Dad,’ Piper said, trying to sound more cheerful than she felt.
‘Morning,’ he said curtly.
‘How are you?’ Piper asked.
‘Fine.’
Piper tried not to let it bother her. Ever since she’d told her parents about the pregnancy, her father had been distant and, frankly, cold. She knew he was disappointed, she knew he was upset, but she’d hoped that after six weeks of knowing, he’d have thawed a little. She missed their conversations. She missed how he’d roll his eyes across the table at her when the twins were being annoying. She missed how his face used to light up when he saw her. Now he avoided eye contact or just looked angry when he saw her.
Her mother said he’d come around, that she needed to give him time. But Piper wondered how much time. She was beginning to think he’d never forgive her for ‘messing her life up’. It really hurt. ‘Would you like a coffee?’ she asked him.
‘No, I’ve had one.’
‘Toast?’
‘No.’
‘Okay, then.’ Piper filled the kettle and busied herself making toast, hiding her disappointment from him.
As her toast popped up, her father stood up and left the room, not addressing a word or even a glance in her direction. Piper buttered her toast and tried not to get upset.
Pauline put her plate into the dishwasher and said quietly, ‘He still loves you. He just can’t show it right now.’
Piper smiled at her sister. ‘Thanks.’
One of the best things about being pregnant was how close she’d got to Pauline. She’d been amazing. So calm and measured and sensible and kind. Piper felt really bad for ever thinking Pauline was selfish. She realized now that her sister had a very big heart and was just a serious, focused person. Olivia said that from the first day Pauline had gone to school in Junior Infants, her goal was to be top of the class and nothing else mattered. She had no interest in sport or playing games or art.
But underneath her ambition and single-mindedness lay a compassionate soul. Piper hoped she could repay her sister’s kindness some day. She’d already decided to ask Pauline to be the baby’s godmother. No one deserved it more.
Pauline left to go to the college library and study in peace. Piper was left with the twins, who were bickering about whether Liam Hemsworth was hotter than his brother, Chris. She sat down and ate her toast.
Penny turned her attention to her older sister. ‘Are you and Luke still having sex?’
Piper almost choked on her toast. ‘What?’
‘Are you having sex?’
‘That is none of your business, you cheeky cow!’
‘If you are, you’d better use protection,’ Poppy warned her.
‘Bit late for that,’ Penny said, and they roared with laughter.
‘Shut up, you freaks,’ Piper hissed.
‘Seriously, though, is it safe to have sex when you have a baby in your stomach?’ Poppy asked.
‘Why wouldn’t it be?’ Penny said.
‘Wouldn’t it poke the baby?’
‘Urgh, gross! I never thought about that.’
Poppy turned to Piper. ‘You need to stop having sex. You’re poking your baby. You could poke it in the eye and blind it.’
‘OMG, could you?’
‘Yes, totally.’
‘Do you think that’s why Janine Oliver has a wonky eye?’ Penny asked.
‘Oh, my God, yes. Her dad’s willy must have poked her.’
‘Grooooss,’ they both squealed.
Piper put her toast down. ‘It never ceases to amaze me what idiots you are.’
‘If you have sex just after getting pregnant, can you have twins?’ Poppy wondered.
‘Duh, of course not,’ Penny said.
‘How do you know?’
‘Because twins are conceived the same day,’ Penny said.
‘I read about this woman who had twins three weeks a
part. They obviously weren’t conceived the same day.’
‘Maybe she just had one early and one on time,’ Penny said.
‘Do you think Piper could be having twins? Apparently it’s genetic, and if your mum had twins, you could have twins.’
‘She had a scan and it was just one baby,’ Penny said, talking as if Piper wasn’t in the room.
‘Yeah, but sometimes the twin can be hiding behind the other baby.’
‘It would be so cool if she had twins.’
It would be so not cool if I had twins, Piper thought. Thank God the obstetrician had confirmed only one baby, which was quite enough of a prospect to deal with.
‘Piper, are you sure it’s not twins?’ Penny asked her.
‘Yes, positive, thank God,’ Piper said.
‘No need to be so rude. You’d be lucky to have twins like us.’ Penny was unimpressed.
‘I’d shoot myself if I had twins like you,’ Piper muttered.
‘You’re so narky. You should be careful. If you’re this narky to Luke, he might dump you.’
Piper took a bite of her toast. ‘Thanks, Penny, that’s just what I need to hear.’
‘You should also watch what you eat,’ Poppy said, pointing to the toast. ‘One slice is plenty, Piper. You’re not actually eating for two. Some women stuff their faces the whole way through their pregnancies and are like whales and it takes them ages to lose the baby weight. Some of them never lose it and are just fat for ever.’
Piper stood up and threw the rest of her toast into the bin. ‘Thanks for making me lose my appetite and for the great advice.’ She slammed the door hard on her way out.
Piper lay on her bed and tried to do calming breathing exercises, inhale for five and exhale for five. She shouldn’t let her sisters wind her up, but they were so annoying. They were clueless about life. She rolled onto her side. She was due to meet Luke in an hour for coffee. She’d eat with him – at least he wouldn’t comment on how much she ate. Mind you, maybe she should watch what she was eating. She had been eating way more than usual. She didn’t want to be a big whale. What if she was one of the women who couldn’t lose the weight? Luke would dump her for a fit girl.
The Good Mother Page 26