My Perfect Drug (Reapers MC: Ellsberg Chapter Book 2)

by Bijou Hunter

  Until her pregnancy, Lily rarely wanted to fuck until I mentioned it. Then two minutes of foreplay later, she’d become a wild woman ready to tear my clothes off and screw me in front of an audience. It’s that yin-yang thing she has going on.

  “Are you hungry?” she asks while my hand slides up her shirt.

  “I ate fried pickles with your dad and bro.”

  Lily pushes away my hands. “Wait, what? So were they nice?”

  “Colton was. I think he has a crush on me,” I say, winking at her. “That’s right, little lady. You’ve got competition for my heart.”

  Lily fights a smile, but it’s a losing battle. “How did Pop act?”

  “As if he wanted to kill me but couldn’t figure out how to make it look like an accident so you wouldn’t be mad at him.”

  “My big announcement didn’t go well,” she says, falling into a pout. “I got frustrated immediately and sort of yelled a little.”

  Shaking my head, I sigh full of disapproval. “I expected better from you, but you can make it up to me with naked time.”

  Lily takes my hands and holds them against her chest. “I want to run away.”

  “Don’t make me laugh at you,” I beg. “Please. It’s been a long night, and I’m cold and horny, and I really, really don’t want to point and laugh. But when you say that shit, what am I supposed to do?”

  “Run away with me.”

  “Where?” I ask, taking back my hands and accepting how I’m not getting laid tonight.

  “I don’t know, but somewhere people don’t know us. Where our names don’t mean anything. We can start over without the pressure from our families.”

  “What about your new home?”

  “I don’t care. I’ll rent out my unit too. We can get a place somewhere else with Sissy and the kids. We’ll make it work.”

  “And you’ll leave your job and family?”

  “Yes,” she says with such sincerity I nearly laugh.

  Exhaling, I try to get serious since she clearly wants a grown-up talk here. “Lily Bear, even if I thought bailing on Ellsberg would make you happy, Sissy and the kids can’t come with us. Topher got custody years ago, and he’d never let them leave.”

  “Why does he have custody?”

  “Do you remember when someone ratted out Sissy about not feeding the kids right? Then Child Services showed up and poked around. Well, Topher convinced Sissy to give him custody so they wouldn’t be taken away.”

  “Why would she ever agree to that?” Lily asks as if she’s never met Sissy and doesn’t know what Topher’s capable of. “Child Services never claimed they wanted to take the kiddos, just that they wanted her to have parenting classes and oversight. Whatever in blazes that means.”

  “Don’t be naïve. You know how Topher got her to agree. He probably was the one to get those government women to show up in the first place.”

  “But why? He doesn’t even like Hart and Haydee.”

  “But he wants Sissy around to clean up after him. She also looks like her mom, and he never felt like he got to pound on Cheryl enough. Now, Sissy can’t leave him. Not that he’d be okay if Cy or I ran off. Topher believes since he can’t be happy, no one gets to.”

  “He needs to die.”

  “Probably, but I’m not that guy,” I say and then step back. “Is that what you want right now? Like is this conversation meant to push me to kill him?”

  “No,” she says, and her lips slide back into a pout. I remember seeing a picture years ago of Lily with her mother and sisters. I don’t know what happened before the photo was taken, but the four of them wore matching pouts. I suspect this look she’s giving me is what her mom pulls on her pop. No wonder that man is so whipped by the ladies in his family. The full power of the pout tugs at me until I wish I was meaner inside and could give her what she wants.

  “I can’t kill him, Lily. I’m not your father. He was raised by a different kind of man.”

  “What does that mean?” she gasps, feigning the kind of shock I know she can’t possibly feel. Lily is very fucking aware of her family’s history. Her Delta is also very fucking proud of that history.

  “It means your grandfather raised his sons to be ballbusters. My father raised me to have my balls busted. It’s not in my nature to kill anyone, not even him.”

  Lily gives me a strange look, and I feel about two inches tall. Even though we both know what kind of man I am, and I’ve never pretended to be anyone else, I still find myself bothered when I let her down. She should know better than to expect shit from me. Being a Mullen is more than sharing the last name. It’s a way of life. We ruin everything we touch, but Lily refuses to save herself.

  For the first time, I wonder if her Delta side isn’t about feeling free and going wild. What if it’s her way of self-destructing? Am I the man she loves or just the one who will end her the quickest?

  THE PRINCESS

  Dash stands away from me in the foyer. We don’t speak for the longest minute of my life. I grew up with the kind of men who overreact and attack rather than look weak. Colton often threatens people he has no intention of fighting. No one calls my brother on his behavior because everyone prefers his arrogant rancor to him acting like a pussy.

  I don’t know what Topher is like up close and personal, but Dash never fears seeming weak. He only wants to survive another day. To Dash, making threats he can’t back up is a one-way ticket to death.

  Knowing more about his world than I do, Dash probably knows more about my family’s business than I do too. I’ve stayed away from the details since I was a kid and saw Pop beat the shit out of a man in a parking lot. I struggled to remain blind to any details about my family that might make me admire them less. Audrey was always more inclined to follow in the family business, and Colton was born and bred to take over for Pop. Only MJ and I could keep our eyes closed to the ugly side of the Reapers.

  But I know Pop kills people, and I know he would kill Topher if I asked him to.

  Would that be any different than me pulling the trigger? I don’t know if I have a killer instinct any more than Dash does. I’m a mama’s girl, and I keep my nose clean. Sentencing a man—even a monster like Topher Mullen—to death might be beyond what I’m capable of.

  For now anyway.

  Deciding to change the subject, I whisper, “I know it seems like I already decorated the townhome, but I left a lot undone so you could put your tastes into our home.”

  Dash’s brow wrinkles. “Our home? Why would I move in here?”

  Laughing to hide my surprise at his reaction, I shrug. “Everyone knows now,” I say, rubbing his still furrowed forehead. “We don’t have to hide. Now we can be together.”

  “Nothing’s changed, Lily.”

  “Of course, it has. We used to sneak around, and now we don’t have to sneak around. How is that not completely different?”

  Dash leans against the wall and shrugs in that uninterested way he likes to do. I feel him pulling away from me, and I prepare for whatever he’s going to say next.

  “You and I work because we have to sneak around. It’s always been about the spy shit, and us being taboo. Now we’re just people.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “You and I don’t work in a normal relationship sense. We only work in the shadows. Us going public is like one of those black lights in a cheap motel. Not cool.”

  “Stop saying that.”

  “You want something you can’t have.”

  “I want you,” I say weakly as my stomach burns with tension.

  “That’s what I just said.”

  “And you’re saying you only wanted me because it was a secret?”

  “No, but we only worked because we were a secret. Can you imagine us grocery shopping together?”

  Tension turning to anger, I point out, “We have shopped together before.”

  “Yeah, and it was fun because it was scary. We worried about getting caught. Now we’ll just be two people w
alking through the grocery store. Where’s the fun in that?”

  The heat of my temper rises in me. The fire reaches my eyes, and tears burn until I can’t see. Finally, I spit out the words, “I don’t accept that.”

  “You always say those words like they have any meaning. You can’t change the world, Lily, and you can’t change me. I don’t want what you do.”

  “So you don’t want us to be together?”

  “Not like you do.”

  “And the baby?” I ask, reflexively reaching for my tiny bump.

  “You knew I never wanted kids.”

  “No, but that’s because you thought your kids would be worthless,” I cry, hating the accusation behind his words.

  When Dash says nothing, I wipe tears from my cheeks and take a deep breath before trying to talk sense into him. “You believe you’re worthless, but that’s only because of your tyrant father. He’s the worthless one. Not you and not your kids.”

  “I never wanted this. You chose to get pregnant and go public with us. You made those choices without asking me.”

  “We’ve been hiding for so long,” I mumble and then add in a stronger voice, “You said you loved me.”

  “I do, but I don’t want to live in this house, and I don’t want a kid, and I don’t want to go to Johansson family dinners or road trips in the summer. I don’t want to read the crossword puzzle next to you on Sundays.”

  “You do crossword puzzles, not read them,” I grumble and rub angrily at my eyes.

  “No, baby, you do them while I sit next to you and read them.”

  “This isn’t how things are supposed to work,” I whisper, fighting another round of tears.

  “Not in Lilyland where she makes rules, and everyone follows them. Here in the real world, no one gives a shit about your rules.”

  “Including you.”

  Dash’s gray eyes flash with a rare sight of anger. “I told you to marry Jay. I said that was the life you needed.”

  “He was cheating on me!”

  “What makes you think I’m not?”

  Dash’s lies rejuvenate me. I wipe my cheeks and sigh. “You want to push me away because you’re scared. You don’t believe anything you’re saying.”

  “I don’t want to be the bad guy here, but this shit isn’t for me,” he says, gesturing around the foyer. “If we ever sat down and hashed out your big plans, I would have told you no. I guess that’s why you kept shit close to the vest.”

  “Fine,” I say, lifting my chin and giving him my most defiant—and hopefully confident—look. “If you want to walk away, I won’t stop you or beg you to stay or make you feel bad about leaving. I’ve been waiting for you for so long that doing it again is no big deal. I’ll wait, and you will come back. You always do. No matter what you say, you’re a big old pile of horseshit.”

  “Is that right?” he asks, clearly enjoying my profanity.

  “So take off,” I say, pointing at the door. “Do whatever you do when you’re not here. I can take care of myself and our baby until you come crawling back. You might be scared, but I’m not. I can finally stop sneaking around. Not just with you, but with Sissy too. I can be me with everyone, and they can hate it or like it, but I’ll be fine. So go ahead and run away, Dash. It’s what you’ve been taught to do your entire life, but I know you’ll be back. You know in your heart there’s nowhere else for you in this entire world. I’m the only home for you.”

  His gray eyes glance into the living room and then at my face. He exhales roughly.

  “For fuck’s sake, whatever. Let’s skip the part where I run away and give you a chance to live without me, but then come back to see if you still want me. I know with all my heart how you can do better, Lily. I see that truth every time I look at you, but if you don’t move on, I can’t stop crawling back to you. So if you really are looking to settle for trash like me, then get upstairs and strip out of your clothes.”

  Shocked by his quick turnaround, I mutter, “And a good fuck makes everything better?”

  “No, not everything,” he says, smiling. “Still it’s been one hell of a long fucking day, and I’m not smart enough to figure out how to make you dump me for good.”

  Dash just keeps shoveling his pile of lies. He knows exactly how to make me dump him for good. He could cheat, but I know he doesn’t. He could hit me, but I know he won’t. There are tons of ways he could mistreat me so I’d cut him loose. However, he never quite manages to take a step too far.

  Because he knows as much as I do that we’re it for each other. Good or bad, we have to make this work, or we’ll forever live with regret.

  THE CHAPTER WHERE THE PRINCESS AND THE LOSER HAVE RELATIONS

  THE LOSER

  On our second Halloween together, Lily and I both dressed as Jack Sparrow. We were so damn sexy that we ended up in a motel, fucking like pirates all night. All these years later, we might no longer wear the full costumes, but we’re always willing to walk the plank.

  Lily straps on her eye patch and shakes her sweet booty at me. I don’t know if I’ve stripped naked as quickly as I do today. Not only am I looking forward to fucking this incredibly hot woman. No, I’m worried about Sissy and the kids waking.

  “These walls are thicker than your flagpole,” she says, knocking on the bedroom wall. “No need to dash through our fun, matey.”

  Knowing how much I love to hear my name used as a verb, Lily winks and turns her back. I sit on the bed, letting her take the lead. Earlier, I tried to play the big jerk hero and save her from loving me. Lily wasn’t having any of my bullshit. Every time I try to take charge, I fuck up the only good thing in my life. So I see no reason not to allow Miss Johansson to do what she does best.

  “Where Is My Mind?” plays quietly as Lily yanks off her baby blue shirt to reveal her luscious ladies barely contained by a white bra. I swear her already curvy body has gotten sexier since the last time we enjoyed each other. Pregnancy doesn’t suit every woman, but Lily fucking rocks it.

  “Do you remember our first time?” she asks, nostalgic for a simpler time before the world knew we constantly ravished each other’s booties.

  “I remember your nipples were trying to break free from your red shirt.”

  Lily’s breath catches as her fingers squeeze the hard points of flesh through her bra.

  “Yeah, baby, you’re going to want to take that off,” I murmur while stroking my cock. “They’re suffocating. Let ’em breathe.”

  Lily leans forward while reaching behind to unsnap her bra. My entire body freezes in anticipation of a sight I’ll never get sick of. The white fabric drops to the ground, leaving her bountiful flesh for my eyes to feast on.

  Exhaling roughly, I think I might not last long the first time we fuck. Lily’s just too damn gorgeous. I can already taste her nipples and feel my face nuzzled between her lovely mounds.

  “Lily, see what you do to me?” I ask as pre-cum dampens my hand. “See how you make me fucking come apart.”

  “Not yet,” she whispers as she tugs down her jeans and panties in one quick gesture. “I want you to come in me.”

  Climbing onto her overstuffed bed, she crawls toward me. I love how her tits swing with the motion. Her stiff nipples wait for my attention.

  Lily licks a drop of cum from my cockhead before straddling me. “Suck me,” she commands once her lips leave mine. “Then fuck me hard.”

  Loving when she talks like a dirty wench, I nearly come when she says “fuck.” Quickly my lips wrap around her right nipple while my fingers desert my cock for the much better destination of Lily’s wet slit. Bucking against my hands, she moans loud enough to prove she doesn’t worry about thin walls.

  “Dash, deeper,” she begs as I finger-fuck her. “Harder,” she moans when my teeth nip her plump nipple.

  I feel her orgasm building. I’m attuned to the way her hips move when she’s close. Knowing everything about this sexy body, I long ago made it a slave to my will.

  My thumb mak
es rapid circles around her clit as her pussy rides my other fingers. Her hands grip my head until I worry she’ll tear my hair out as she comes.

  “Fuck me,” she demands while my fingers remain knuckles-deep inside her. “I want your cock. I want more.”

  Lily topples back on the bed, her legs spread wide for me, her thighs glistening with her pussy’s juices.

  Crawling over her, I tug at each nipple. First with my lips—soft and teasing. Then with my teeth—hard and demanding. Lily digs her nails into my shoulders, wanting me inside her, curling her legs around my hips.

  “Did you ever fuck that dentist?” I ask and wrap my fingers around her throat.

  “Yes, all the time. Now, fuck away his memory.”

  Lily’s hand reaches for my cock. Her lips curve into a smile as she strokes me.

  “I fucked a million girls,” I growl at her.

  Refusing to play along, Lily brings her cum-drenched fingers to her lips and licks away my seed.

  “I know you did,” she says and bursts into laughter while she lifts her hips and searches for my painfully hard dick. “You made them all come. Now, make me come too.”

  Rolling my eyes at her laughter, I grab my dick and rub the head against her swollen clit. “Tell me every man who fucked this pussy.”

  “Well, first there was Regular Dash and then Pirate Dash. Next was Stoned Dash and Drunk Dash and Sullen Dash and finally Happy Dash. So many Dashes fucked this pussy,” she says, biting her bottom lip. “They fucked it and fucked it, but it always wants more.”

  “Hell yeah, it does,” I growl, shoving into her waiting flesh and making us groan in unison.

  “Hold on just a little,” she moans as her pussy sucks at my cock. “Think of baseball or math. I want to come again.”

  “So greedy,” I say, propped over her. My hips thrust hard and fast. My balls beg for release, but I refuse to show them mercy. Not yet. Lily’s pussy needs more, and I’m nowhere near done watching her tits bouncing wildly from our fuck. “Damn, you’re gorgeous.”

  Flushed and horny as hell, Lily smiles but her mind is only on the hot spot between her legs. I doubt she can see anything. Her lust leaves her blind and deaf. She’s no more than a scorching hole needing to be filled by only me.