No Accounting for Cowboys

by Leah Braemel

  Yeah, his worries were different than hers had been. She lifted her hands helplessly. “I don’t know. But if your mother didn’t know, I can’t see that he would.”

  “I don’t know. He knew about Gabe. Maybe he suspected Momma had cheated when she came back and then got pregnant so quickly? Maybe he had a DNA test done on me.”

  “Then why wouldn’t he have said something when he got the results back. He doesn’t sound like the type of man who would have kept that type of information quiet.”

  He nodded slowly, some of the tension easing. “Yeah, he’d have gotten in Momma’s face, that’s for sure. And he would have told Pop. Who would have asked Momma, so she wouldn’t have been surprised just now.” A deep shuddering breath, followed by a muttered, “If she was surprised.”

  Yup he was questioning everything now. Come to think of it, Cissy had had time to prepare an appropriate reaction after Randy had told her, hadn’t she? Or maybe Randy had confirmed what she’d already known and she was putting on an act for Jake’s sake.

  “You know before I came in, I was second-guessing whether I should sign that contract. Stupid, huh?”

  She blinked. “You were? Why? I thought that you wanted to sign it. I thought you’d dreamed of having a music career.”

  “I did, but just because we have a contract doesn’t mean any of our songs will sell. That people will like us. It could turn out to be a pipe dream.” He faced her, the lost look on his face reminding her of an ache she’d once felt deep in her heart, one she still felt on occasion. “But now? I guess I might as well sign it. Go on the road. It’s not like there’s anything here for me.”

  Paige squatted beside him. “Your mother’s still here. So’s Ben. Do you think either of them are going to love you any less? Do you think it’ll change how I feel about you?” It wasn’t fair to add herself into the mix, not when his world had been torn from under him. “Whatever you do, don’t make any snap decisions about it yet. And don’t use it as an excuse to run away. Give yourself some time to deal with it all before you make a decision.”

  “Don’t you see? I’ve never belonged here. I should never have been made part of the ranch. Ben belongs here. Even Gabe—” his voice broke and he stopped. Swallowed. “I might as well sign it. There’s nothing here for me anymore. Except for you.”

  * * *

  Hadn’t he just done all this “I can’t fucking believe it” crap? Sitting in his truck outside of the original Grady homestead he’d claimed as his own, Ben clutched the steering wheel until he was sure the thing would snap in his hands. How the hell had he gotten here? After Randy had divulged the latest family scandal, he’d stumbled out of the room, out of the house and climbed into his truck. Again. He didn’t remember making any type of conscious decision, nor could he remember anything about the three-mile ride to get here. What did that make it? The third time this year?

  Yup, been there, bought that whole T-shirt crap again. He’d had to get out of there before he totally lost it on his mother.

  What the fuck, Ma? How could you have cheated on Pop like that? Had another guy’s kid and not said anything? And then played the poor me card all these weeks since Gabe’s true existence had been revealed.

  He slammed his fist into the door panel. What the ever-loving fuck had happened to his loving, stable family?

  Someone rapped on the side window. “Hey, you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

  He jerked around to find Gabe staring through the glass at him. A very pissed-off Gabe.

  Shit.

  Time to man up. Handle this, because God knew no one else was going to. Randy had probably headed back to town, and Jake—well, he’d taken off to lick his wounds. Understandably so. At least Paige was with him in case his brother decided to take any drastic measures. Shit, what Jake must be thinking right now.

  It took two tries before he got the door open. Stay cool. Gabe had every right to be pissed at the way Randy forced him out, along with his mother’s rancor. He forced himself to meet Gabe’s gaze. “I didn’t agree with Randy about kicking you out, you know.”

  Gabe’s lips thinned. “I’m used to it. It’s not like your mother’s ever made me feel welcome. Just tell me what happened. Did the DNA tests came back proving I’m not Ed’s son? Because if that’s the case, rip off the bandage now. It’s not like I came to you trying to claim I was a Grady.”

  Not anger, fear, Ben realized. Of being told that he didn’t belong anywhere again.

  Why the hell couldn’t Randy have told the both of them about Jake’s DNA results instead of kicking Gabe out? It didn’t make sense—not only did Randy confirm that Gabe’s lawyer would have a copy of the DNA report, Gabe was a Grady, and about to become an equal partner in Bull’s Hollow. No matter how his mother portrayed Gabe, he wasn’t the enemy.

  What the hell could he say to that? Gabe was right. Ma never had gone out of her way to make Gabe feel welcome. He’d always put it down to how his mother wasn’t happy that Gramps had brought a belligerent teen with a record to the ranch, or that Jake had started hanging around him, getting into more trouble in the first year than he had his whole life. Despite his mother’s insistence that she’d not known Gabe’s real identity, he still wondered if she’d known all along.

  Realizing he wasn’t going to get an answer, or an excuse, Gabe squared his shoulders. “You know I can phone my lawyer to find out what’s going on. So if you’re planning on cutting me out after all this ‘oh Gabe you’re our long lost brother, we want to do the right thing by you crap,’ you tell me right the hell now.”

  He bit back the curse, both at Randy and himself. “The DNA tests came back—they proved you’re my father’s son.”

  Gabe’s chin rose in defiance. “And now you’re having second thoughts about cutting me in as partner?”

  “Jesus, we said we would cut you in and you’re in. We’re not backing out.” Deep breath, stay calm. “Apparently my father wasn’t the only one who had an affair while he and Ma were split up. The tests said that Jake’s not Pop’s kid.”

  “What the fuck?” Gabe’s eyes widened before his gaze shot away, a fleeting glance at the silhouette of the house on the hill before landing on the space between them.

  And didn’t that say it all?

  “You know I used to envy you and Jake.” Gabe scuffed the dirt with his boot heel, staring at it as if it might reveal some secret. “I used to think your family was the best. Your mom and dad always seemed so solid. I don’t remember them ever fighting, not really. Not the yelling and screaming matches like my parents used to have before they split up.”

  None of the Gradys had ever met Gabe’s adoptive father. Clint Larson had taken off the year before Gabe had been brought to Bull’s Hollow, but Jake had relayed a few tales. Not just the fights, but how Clint had abandoned both his wife and adopted son without the blink of an eye. Once he’d heard them Ben had understood why Gabe had acted out the way he had, understood the wildness in his eyes those first few years on the ranch. Understood the challenges he issued, expecting Gramps and his father to send him away. Of course it didn’t explain why Jake went along with some of Gabe’s exploits. Instead of him and Jake being a good influence on Gabe, the reverse happened with their parents worrying that Jake might end up in juvie. Until their father had laid down the law and made both boys toe the line. But they’d been best friends ever since.

  A year ago, Gabe would have headed straight to Jake’s side. Been his rock-solid support network. Who better to talk to about not knowing who your father was? But now? With Gabe not accepting Jake’s explanation about keeping his mother’s secret for the past year, and this latest crap about Jake calling himself JT Larson while he was singing of all things? The one person who might understand what Jake was going through could end up stripping him of every part of his identity. The future partner of Bull’s Hollow coul
d destroy everything.

  Ben pinched the bridge of his nose at the headache that slammed him like he’d just been kicked by an ornery bull. Just when he thought everything was getting settled, that the ranch was safe, he now had Jake and the ranch to worry about. Again.

  “Look, let’s get this straight right now. Just because Jake’s not your half brother—” isn’t technically a Grady, “—doesn’t mean you can go after his share of Bull’s Hollow. I swear to God, if you try, I will fight you every step of the way.”

  Gabe’s brows clamped together. “What the fuck? You think I’m hanging around here for the money? What type of a butthead do you think I am?”

  The type that holds a grudge and won’t accept an apology when it’s offered. “You and Jake need to sort this out. Whatever’s going on between you. Because the way he’s feeling about things around here, I think he’s going to use it as an excuse to run and I don’t want to lose him because you’re holding a grudge.”

  “I’m not the only reason he’s going to run. The DNA test is enough. Trust me. Besides, I’m not the only one he’s pissed at. You’ve been treating him like a goddamned newbie ranch hand since you took over.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Come on. You give him all the shit jobs your father used to give to the greenhorns.”

  Oh please. And what the fuck was up with Gabe suddenly defending Jake? “He knows the jobs have to get done. And we’re short-handed so who else can I assign? Or am I expected to let the bulls mix in with the cows, huh?”

  “How about letting him choose or even better, why are you always the one to make the assignments? He’s a part owner too. Let him take over some of those duties. And let’s talk about how you shoot down any suggestions he makes or when he asks a question that most of us are thinking, you ignore him. Are you even aware you treat him like he’s an idiot?”

  What the fuck? “I do not.”

  “Yeah. You do. So if he goes running out of here like his ass is on fire, it’s not just because of me or the DNA test.”

  Shit. He’d blown off Jake’s accusation earlier, thinking his little brother was over-reacting. But now Gabe was saying the same thing. Were they right? Had he shot down Jake’s ideas? Okay, so he’d shot down the idea of adding a fall breeding session when Jake had suggested it. But he’d changed his mind when Gabe had... Shoot.

  Maybe Gabe—and Jake—had a point. He’d hated it when Gramps hadn’t listened to him. When had he started doing the same thing to Jake?

  There had been times when Gramps was alive he’d considered not coming back to Bull’s Hollow. Had he been giving Jake a reason to want to sign the music contract?

  Aw crap. The contract. Which Gabe obviously didn’t know about. Was it his place to tell him? Jake wasn’t about to approach Gabe after his reaction earlier. Ben paced the yard until he got himself under control, then faced his half-brother.

  “You know how you said Jake might run? He’s got the perfect opportunity.” And he might have just helped push Jake out the door. Ben laid out everything he knew about the contract, and the tour.

  “From what I heard, he was waffling about signing before, but now? With the bad blood between you two, and learning that Ma cheated and lied all these years, and that Pop isn’t his real father—” and if Gabe was to be believed, Jake’s irritation with him, “—I’m worried he’s going to use the contract as a reason to bolt.”

  “Bullshit. Okay, yeah, he may use the contract as a way to get some distance while he figures out what’s doin’, but Jake’s always wanted to sing. He’s talked about it all the time I’ve known him, so if he wants to sign, yeah, it’ll leave us short-handed but I’m not about to stop him goin’ after his dreams.”

  Fuck. “And you think I’m going to?”

  “I don’t know. Are you?”

  How the hell had this even become an issue? Obviously he had some fences to mend with Jake.

  Chapter Twelve

  The sky outside hadn’t changed to the slate gray it usually did when Jake got up. Another hour before the alarm clock would squawk its irritating noise. Which meant he could still catch a few minutes sleep. He flopped onto his side and waited for sleep to claim him. And waited. He switched sides again. Flipped onto his back. The damned alarm clock mocked him, telling him only five minutes had passed since the last time he’d checked it.

  An hour after they’d arrived home, Ben had pounded on his door. Paige had sent him on his way, while Jake hid like a damned fugitive in the bedroom, his brain whirling as if someone had stuck his mother’s hand blender into it and cranked it to high. A half hour later, Gabe had shown up. Once more, Paige had intervened.

  Around midnight, his brain had fritzed out. He’d stared at the ceiling for another hour, thinking...nothing. But he still couldn’t sleep. He’d spent the last hour watching Paige sleep, the way her hair drifted over the pillow, at the soft curve of her mouth, the arch of her eyebrow. Sexy. Confident in who she was.

  Peaceful.

  Peace he thought he had yesterday. Now his life was complete chaos.

  Well, except for her. She was the calm in his storm. While he ranted, she listened. Really listened. Heard not only what he said, but what he was too afraid to say.

  Not just last night, but before too, when he talked about his music and worried about Ben’s reaction. She made him feel like he could say anything and she’d stay by his side.

  Defend him. Support him.

  Outside of the family, no one else had cared enough to defend him unless they thought they’d get something out of it. But Paige? She was in his corner every step of the way. Since the first day they’d met.

  If it hadn’t been for her last night, he would have stormed off the ranch. Kept driving. Maybe that’s why he’d taken the ATV to the lake instead of climbing back into his truck. Maybe he’d wanted her to follow him. While the impulse to flee was still strong, he wouldn’t leave without her by his side.

  Shit.

  Holy hell, she’d wiggled into his head until he’d fallen in love with her. No. She’d just been herself. He was the one who’d tumbled over the relationship cliff, and he liked it. When had that happened? But if he told her what he felt, this soon, would it freak her out? Panic rose in his chest at the thought of her running away, scared that he’d gotten too intense, too fast. Yet the words welled up in his throat, unwilling to stay unspoken. His heart racing, he brushed his lips over her curled fingers and whispered, “I love you, Paige.”

  He stayed frozen in place, waiting for her eyes to flicker open, for her to move, to run away. But she didn’t. Her breathing stayed even, her eyes closed.

  Only then did he settle back and take a deep breath. He could wait to hear it back from her. His imagination provided pictures of her moving in permanently. Her coming on tour with him. Her looking up at him from the crowd as he sang, the only face—or opinion—that mattered. Then they’d come home and take their quads down to the lake. Have picnics. Look up at...

  The main house, and remember that his mother was up there. Looking down on them. Still keeping her secrets and telling him lies.

  Shit. So much for the fairy tale.

  What the hell, he’d have to get up in another forty-five minutes anyway. He swung his legs to the floor and eased off the mattress.

  Her breathing changed and Paige turned on her side, lifting herself on one elbow. “What time is it?”

  God she looked edible all messed and rumpled, soft and...yeah, edible. What was she doing with a messed-up fuck like him? “It’s ‘who the ever lovin’ fuck gets up this early’ hour.”

  She wiggled across the mattress, reaching out to touch his hip. “Did you get any sleep?”

  Her touch centered him and he nearly climbed back beside her. “Not much.”

  “So come back to bed.�
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  He eyed the spot he’d just vacated. Tempting. Because she was there. He’d been lousy company the night before, and yet she’d stayed with him. Let him rant and rave in his private pity party. Just what every woman wanted, to be dragged into the cesspool of his family’s latest drama. He shook his head. “Nah. I’ve memorized every damned mark on the ceiling. I need to be moving. Doing something.” Anything to get his mind from dwelling on the U-turn his life had just taken. “Besides, Ben’s been on my back enough, if I don’t show up...” He might fire me? Order me to move off the ranch?

  Maybe he should move away. He didn’t belong here. Or, looking around, this was exactly where he belonged. A ranch hand’s house, where the employees stayed. Not a place fit for a Grady according to his grandfather. His step-grandfather. Shit. His gut twisted at the realization he didn’t know his real grandparents. That his real grandparents didn’t know about him and he might never know them.

  She crawled across the bed and sat up on her knees until she could wrap her arms around his neck. “If I told you I’m worried about you, would you freak out?”

  “No.” He rested his forehead against hers. “It’s nice to know someone’s worried.” It wasn’t fair to the rest of his family. He’d seen the worry in Ben’s eyes, and his mother’s of course. Hell, even Randy looked worried. He just couldn’t bear it.

  “Come back to bed. We can cuddle for a while. Ben’ll understand if you’re a little late. In fact, he’d probably tell you to take a day off and get some head space.”

  He allowed himself to be pulled back onto the mattress beside her and pulled her into a full-body embrace, needing the skin-to-skin contact. Too quickly his ribs reminded him they didn’t like being on that side, so he turn on his back and rested his head in the crook of her arm.

  “Just feel me touching you,” she whispered. “Don’t let any of those other thoughts in, okay?”

  Lips touched his forehead, skimmed down his nose, her hair tickling the side of his face.

  “No thinking, remember? Just feeling.”