No Accounting for Cowboys

by Leah Braemel

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The U-Haul truck in front of his place sent Jake’s heart rate rocketing. Shit. He pulled his rental car into the driveway and raced across the lawn. The door was locked when he tried it. Okay, she hadn’t left yet. He fumbled three times to get the door open and nearly tripped over a suitcase when he stepped inside. All her stuff was gone. Her nice couch. Her knick knacks. Everything that they’d unpacked together, she’d probably repacked and was sitting in the trailer outside. He phoned up to the office, only to get voicemail. Damn it. If she wasn’t there, he didn’t know where to look next. But he knew who might know. He dialed Gabe’s number.

  “Larson.”

  Thank you, baby Jesus! “Gabe, is Paige up at the office?”

  A pause. “Yeah, for the moment.”

  “Get over there and don’t let her leave, will you? I’ll be right up.”

  The two miles between his place and the Folly felt like it took three hours to cover, but he damned near fell on his knees at the sight of Paige’s motorbike parked near the buffalo statue.

  “Thank you, Gabe!” She was here. And even better, his mother’s car wasn’t.

  That she was back to using her Yamaha not his Indian bugged him. While he’d half expected Paige to have painted his bike bright pink or every color of the rainbow in retribution, he figured she’d still drive it. No. That wasn’t Paige’s style. She’d have broken it down and had the individual pieces delivered one by one. Or gotten even more inventive and dumped them out a plane over Bull’s Hollow for him to retrieve.

  He threw open the front door, yelling, “Paige?”

  No answer.

  “Paige? Where are you, darlin’?”

  He hurried down the hallway to the office, stopping dead when Gabe stepped out, shaking his head. “She’s gone. You just missed her.”

  “But her bike’s still here.” Wait a minute. “Is she still on the ranch? Did she take an ATV somewhere?”

  Gabe aimed a finger-gun at him. “Got it in one.”

  Okay, that meant she wasn’t far. “Where’d she go? Back to my place?” But wouldn’t he have passed her on the road?

  “Damned if I know. She booked it out of here the minute she figured out I was talking with you.”

  “You were here—in the office with her—when I called?”

  “Yup.”

  “Why did you tell her it was me?”

  “What did you expect me to do? Lie?”

  Fuck. “So you just let her walk out? After I’d asked you to keep her here?” What the ever-lovin’-fuck was going on?

  “Oh, right, like I was going to hold her hostage. Sorry, Jake, that’s not my style.”

  “Fuck.” Maybe he could still catch her. “Where did she go?”

  “I’m not exactly sure.”

  He grabbed a radio and called for Ben, asking if he’d seen Paige but got static in reply.

  Gabe stuck out a hand, stopping him from heading out to look for Paige. “You really fucked it up with her, you know.”

  Wow, wasn’t he Captain Obvious today. “I know, but I couldn’t just drop everything and come after her in person—I was on tour. I had responsibilities to the band. I tried phoning, but she wasn’t taking my phone calls or answering my emails so what was I supposed to do?”

  Gabe rubbed his thumb and index fingers together. “World’s smallest violin, buddy.”

  “You’re no help at all.”

  “I’m not the one who behaved like a first class hypocritical asshole. You do get the irony here, right?”

  “Believe me, I get it.” Jake slumped into the chair, the one Paige had probably been sitting in less than a half hour ago. Ignoring his phone call. Why hadn’t he just driven here first? Because you didn’t expect her to be here, did you, dipwad?

  He covered his face with his hands. “This whole situation is so fucked up. If Momma and Pop had just been honest with us from the start, I wouldn’t have had to keep that damned secret about you. If Momma and Randy had been honest when the DNA test came in, Paige wouldn’t have been dragged into the middle of it either. There’s just been too fucking many secrets in this family.”

  That’s where the blame lay. With Momma, for forcing him to keep secrets about Gabe. For keeping secrets about him. How much had he sacrificed to protect her? Gabe’s friendship, although they were talking, it was still strained. Even his relationship with Ben wasn’t back to where it had been. All because he’d tried to protect her.

  Had her lies cost him a life with Paige too?

  Jake dropped his hands and stared at the old photo of him sitting in his mother’s lap, his brother and father beside him. “Who can blame her for running away from such a fucked up family?”

  He sure couldn’t.

  “That violin’s still playin’, and you’re not any closer to getting her back sittin’ on your ass feelin’ sorry for yourself.”

  “If you’d just found a way to keep her...” No. No more blaming Gabe for his failure to convince Paige to stay. Or blaming Paige for not answering his calls. No more blaming anyone else. He’d kept secrets even when he’d known he needed to tell both Ben and Gabe the truth. And he’d blamed Paige for keeping a secret that wasn’t hers to tell. That fault was all his. “I need to find her. To apologize to her in person.”

  “Yup. You do.”

  “So where is she? Is she coming back?”

  “I guess that depends on whether you’re going to continue to be an asshole. Because if you are, I’m going to text her and tell her to stay away. And then I’m going to beat the crap out of you because God knows there’s no brains left in your head after the way you treated her in Myrtle Beach.”

  “Only in your dreams could you beat me, Larson.”

  “He could. If I helped.” Ben leaned against the office doorway. “Hey, Gabe? How about I hold him down, and you take the first punch?”

  Jake shot up from the chair. “Fuck you both. You can take your best shot after I find Paige. But let me find her first. Now where is she?”

  After exchanging a glance with Gabe, Ben answered slowly, “You gotta understand. She didn’t figure you’d be back until tomorrow at the earliest.”

  “I grabbed a flight back because I didn’t want to waste the time driving. Now where is Paige?”

  “She and Allie have gone out together. For a farewell drink.”

  They were probably trash talking him. Which was fine. He deserved it.

  Wait a minute. “A farewell drink? What does that mean?” Oh God. Had he screwed up that bad that she’d quit the contract with the ranch? His knees weakened at the thought that he’d lost her completely.

  Gabe took a step back, and braced himself. “Yeah. I, uh, think I screwed things up. I was trying to convince her to give you a second chance. To let you explain and...” His face screwed up until he was squinting at Jake. “I’m sorry, Jake. I didn’t realize what she was thinking until a couple days later and she told Cissy she was moving to Austin.”

  “Ma said Paige has it in her head that she was with you because she liked having Cissy as a mother figure.”

  “The fuck? She seriously thinks our family is functional? That she was hanging around me because of Momma?” His family challenged hers for the Most Dysfunctional Family crown.

  “Yeah,” Ben said quietly. “We tried talking to her, but she’s not listening to us. And before you start ragging on Ma again, stop. Or I’ll kick your ass from here to Houston.”

  Fuck, he really had blown it by not coming back right away. It wasn’t like they’d made a lot of money the last couple weeks. Their merchandise hadn’t sold half as well without Paige there to keep track of it all.

  If he could just find her, apologize to her. Grovel. A lot. Yeah, groveling sounded real good. And was probably
his only hope. Except now he also had to convince her that she wasn’t with him just because of his family. Which was absurd because...well, look at how fucked up his family was. Still he had to try. He faced his brother. “Where’d they go?”

  Ben pursed his lips. “What d’you think, Gabe? Should I tell him?”

  Gabe nodded. “Yeah. Put him out of his misery. Of course, just because he apologizes doesn’t mean she’s gonna take him back.”

  “She’d probably be smarter if she didn’t,” Ben agreed.

  Jake’s chest seized tight at the reminder. “Will you two hens knock it off and tell me where the fuck they went?”

  Ben straightened and held up his keys. “Tell you what, I’ll drive you there.”

  “Not a chance.” There was no way he wanted an audience. Okay, no way he wanted Ben as his audience. Though he’d bet Allie would film it for his brother anyway.

  “Uh uh. You don’t let me go with you, I don’t tell you where they went.” Ben’s grin straightened. “Besides, if things go south and she doesn’t take you back, well, I suspect you may need a designated driver to get home.”

  Fuck. No way. He had to think positive. He was going to fix this. One way or another.

  “Fine. But I’m driving. I want to get there today and you drive like a little old lady.” He raced out to his rental car, cursing as they ambled behind.

  “What happened to your truck?” Ben grimaced at the cherry red Ford Focus.

  “Cam’s driving it home. I rented this at the airport.”

  Gabe peered inside. “You couldn’t get an SUV or something respectable? I don’t know if I can fit in the back seat.”

  “It was the only car I could afford, all right?” He’d maxed out his credit card with the cost of the flight. “Now stop raggin’ on me and buckle up.”

  Once they’d crowded inside, he shoved the car in gear. Allie liked the Hollow Leg in Carter Valley, but Paige liked Slick’s in Joshua Falls. Which was in the opposite direction. Or with his luck, they’d decided to hit Billy Bob’s in Fort Worth. It didn’t matter. If she’d flown to a vineyard in France, he’d follow her. Once they reached the main road, he glanced at Ben. “Which way? Left or right?”

  * * *

  Twenty minutes and a right turn to Joshua Falls later, Jake stomped on the brake in the middle of Slick’s parking lot and threw the Ford into park directly behind Allie’s Honda.

  His heart racing, he sprinted into the bar. She had to be here. She just had to be.

  He pushed past the startled waitress looking for that familiar pink-tipped black hair. Not at the booths to the left. Or to the right. Not along the back either. He strode through the tables, searching, searching. The blue rinse brigade was back at their usual table. Families. More families. A pair of teenagers, the girl looking smug and the guy looking exceedingly awkward. But no sign of Paige anywhere.

  “Jake? Is that you?”

  He spun around at the sound of Allie’s voice. Praise baby Jesus, sitting at the end of the bar on the stool right beside his brother’s girlfriend was Paige.

  With purple and bright blue hair.

  Purple and bright blue short hair. Shorter than his.

  Noooo. All that beautiful long hair he loved to play with was gone.

  “What did you do to your hair?” he blurted before he could think. He snapped his mouth shut. Way to go, dumbass. You just dug your hole deeper.

  Paige narrowed her eyes and middle-fingered him. “Fuck you, Grady.”

  Oh crap. “I mean, it’s nice. Pretty. It—it suits you.”

  After flipping him a double bird, she swiveled to face the bar, showing him her back.

  Oh fuck, you really hosed it. You’re going to have to pull out all the stops now. In front of everyone.

  He walked over to her and lowered himself to both knees, ignoring the heads turning in his direction, the whispers that spread through the bar, and the cell phones being lifted.

  “I...” Shit, the speech he’d been planning the whole way back from Florida just disappeared. Like someone had hit delete. Crap, now what?

  Slick leaned on the counter and smirked. “Go on. Apologize to her, dumbass. Tell her you’re sorry. Nice and loud so we can all hear.”

  All around him money started changing hands.

  If he was going to humiliate himself, he was going to do it right. No deflections. Just straight out pure regret.

  “I’m sorry, baby.” Okay, that was a good start, but he knew she’d need more. She deserved more. “You gave your word, and I shouldn’t have blamed you for not betraying that confidence.”

  “Exactly. But if you think just because you say you’re sorry, I’m going to forgive you, you’re wrong.” She swung around on the stool. “It doesn’t take back how you kicked me out—that was my condo, buddy. I paid for it. If anyone should have left, it should have been you.”

  He’d had the hotel switch the bill to his credit card, but he figured now wasn’t the time to argue. Besides, she might not have checked her bill yet. Or maybe she didn’t care, because...all right, at that point in time it technically had been her room. Stop it, you stupid moron. You’re arguing semantics with yourself.

  “You’re right. I was a self-centered ass.” That’s putting it lightly.

  “You sure are.”

  Are. Not were. Ouch.

  “You know what else you are?” she snapped, waving her bottle of Shiner at him.

  “A hypocrite?”

  “Got it in one.”

  Wow, she’d been hanging around Gabe too much. “You’re absolutely right. I was living in a crystal palace, and I’d shattered it all by myself. I shouldn’t have judged you when I’d kept secrets too.”

  “Damned straight,” she muttered into her beer bottle.

  Damn him for being so fucking self-absorbed. And for hurting Paige. The one constant in his life. She’d believed in him when no one else had. And still he’d hurt her. Driven her away. “I should have trusted you. And I am really, really sorry that I didn’t. I’ll never make that mistake again.”

  His heart pounding like a Dave Grohl drum solo, and his mouth spitless, he choked out, “Will you forgive me?”

  * * *

  In the month since she’d last seen Jake, she’d visualized a dozen different scenarios of meeting him again. A hundred different lines she wanted to toss at him. A few may have involved a slap to his face. Maybe a kick to his ‘nads.

  But never in all those scenarios had she imagined he would get down on both knees and publicly humiliate himself the way he just had.

  “You’re an ass,” she repeated. What the hell had the last month been about if she accepted his apology now?

  “I am. But I’m an ass who’s in love with you.”

  A series of “aws” echoed around her, including one from Slick. Who knew the bartender had a romantic side to her?

  “I should make you walk home on your knees.”

  “I’d do it if it meant you gave me another chance.”

  Did she dare? How long before he blamed her for something else? “I trusted you once and look what happened.”

  “I know I’ve screwed up. But I want to make it right by you.”

  “I don’t know if you can.”

  “You’re the only one who gets me. Who can make me laugh. Who understands when I stop midsentence to write down a lyric and doesn’t mock me for it. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I’ve never felt this way about any other woman. I love you, Paige.”

  Fancy words. But when push came to shove, he’d shoved. “You accused me of manipulating you. You didn’t trust me to look out for you. I wasn’t keeping a secret to hurt you. If you truly love me, you would have listened when I told why I’d not said anything. You would have believed me because you wo
uld have known I wouldn’t have done anything that would hurt you.”

  “I know. And I’m so sorry for that.”

  “I know you were angry at your mother. But you took it out on me. And that hurt.” She stared down at her knees and blinked back tears, the pain of that humiliation ripping into her again. “It still hurts.”

  “Oh, baby.” He rose to his feet and wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t cry.”

  “Damn it, I never cried before I met you.” She buried her head in his shoulder. “Not since I was a kid. And now I’m crying for like the second time in two months.” Third if you counted the tears she’d fought on the plane. “It’s all your fault.”

  “I never want to make you cry, baby.” He cupped her face and wiped her tears off her cheek with his thumbs. “All I ask is for a second chance.”

  She glanced over to see Allie all misty-eyed and dabbing at her eyes. On the way over, Allie had lectured her about how she needed to give Jake a second chance. That if she and Ben hadn’t given each other a second chance, they wouldn’t be together now.

  At the time she’d thought Allie had felt obligated because Jake was Ben’s brother, but now she wondered at the lawyer’s advice. Ben and Allie were the sappiest, most in-love couple she’d ever seen. And as Allie had pointed out, a second chance didn’t mean she was giving up her life or her career.

  Allie had also reamed her out for thinking she was with Jake for his family, pointing out how miserable she’d been while Jake was away. That if she did move, it would be Jake she’d miss, that he was the glue that would bring her back to the ranch. Not Cissy, and definitely not Ben and Allie.

  Sniffing once, she straightened and pulled away from him. Her mind whirled with questions and doubts. Would forgiving him make her a wimp? Maybe? Would she wonder if she’d made the right decision by walking away? Probably.

  “I’ll do anything you want to make this right.” He rested his forehead against hers. “It’s not going to be easy, and there are going to be times when I screw up and I’ll have to apologize again. But I’m going to do my damnedest to do right by you, Paige. Will you forgive me? Will you let me earn back your trust?”