Photographs of Claudia

by KG MacGregor

  after all. No one else would notice it because they wouldn’t have

  the others to compare.

  She clipped the photo to one of the skirt hangers she had

  pinched from her mother’s closet years ago, added it to the line

  to dry with the others and closed the door behind her. By her

  calculations the workshop project had taken almost twenty hours

  of her time already and still she had four photos to go, plus the

  written application. Fortunately she had been able to do most

  of her work after hours, but the pull of developing the first two

  images had been too strong to put off until evening. Now after

  spending most of her Monday morning in the darkroom, she

  needed to tackle the stack of paperwork that had accumulated on

  her desk in the past week. There would be no money coming in

  unless she got her bills out.

  No sooner had she sat down behind her desk than footsteps

  sounded on her porch, followed by a man’s voice calling her

  name. She hustled to the parlor to find two workmen, one of

  whom was holding a large cardboard box.

  “Man, you guys got here quick.” She had called the local

  appliance store as soon as it opened to order an air conditioner

  unit for one of the attic windows. The remaining photos were

  more complicated than those she had shot yesterday and two

  of them involved multiple lighting. It was too much to ask of

  Claudia to endure the blazing studio lights without some relief.

  While the workmen installed the unit in her south window,

  she staged the preliminaries for the next weekend’s setup, in

  which she would use natural light from the window that faced

  the street. By the shadows falling across the rooftops between

  her house and the wharf, she estimated direct sunlight would hit

  the attic around one thirty. If Claudia came at one instead of

  two, she could have the light streaming down from above instead

  of directly in her face. That would make it trickier to position

  the reflector, but worth it not to make Claudia suffer. It was

  undeniable that using a friend instead of a professional model

  was having an impact on her process—spending three hundred

  dollars on an air conditioner was proof of that. But she had to

  admit it made her care even more about the quality of her work.

  The office phone rang from down below, but there was no

  chance she could cover two floors in time to catch it so she left

  it to her answering machine. Besides, whatever it was could wait

  until tomorrow. Her schedule today was open until four, when the

  eighteen-member Cox family was due for its annual Christmas

  card photo sitting.

  As soon as the workmen left she brought her files into the

  attic and set Miss Murphy in front of the window. Every fifteen

  minutes she interrupted her paperwork to snap a Polaroid,

  writing the time on the back to document the sun’s position. Yes,

  it was ridiculously more preparation than she put into most of

  her sessions, but this was her most important work ever.

  Claudia felt a twinge in her neck when she slammed her car

  door and slung the heavy satchel over her shoulder. Leo had

  warned her that the long periods of holding perfectly still could

  make her stiff and sore, but she hadn’t expected to be feeling the

  effect today. Granted, her workday had been considerably longer

  than usual since she had held two parent-teacher conferences on

  children who were struggling to keep up with their classmates.

  She was bursting to share the news about her job possibility

  with someone, but the only person who might celebrate with her

  was Leo, and right now was her busiest time of day. Mike would

  be the first to hear about it when he called at eight. She had

  missed his call the night before because it had come two hours

  earlier than usual while she was still with Leo. His message said

  he had to go out to the job site and would try again tonight.

  As she fumbled with the key to her front door, she heard her

  0

  phone ring. She tossed her satchel onto the couch and made it

  to the kitchen just before the fourth ring engaged her answering

  machine.

  “Hi, honey.”

  “Mike!” She was startled to hear his voice and spun to check

  the clock, thinking she must be late. “I just walked in. You don’t

  usually call this early. It’s only seven o’clock.”

  “I know, but I have to go back out to the work site today.

  I was there all day yesterday because the architects fucked up

  something. Now I’m going to have to kick some ass to get it

  fixed.”

  She recognized the ire in his voice and didn’t envy the

  construction crew. He had his father’s temper. “I certainly

  wouldn’t want to be those guys on the job.”

  “No shit. So where were you yesterday?” His voice carried

  a slight edge, which wasn’t unusual when he was distracted by

  work.

  “I was with a friend of mine. We went to dinner down at the

  wharf here in Monterey.”

  “Somebody from school?”

  “Yes.” The word came out before she could check it. If Mike

  knew about Leo it would only fuel more questions about why

  they were friends, and she didn’t want to tell him about the

  photo sessions. Besides, it wasn’t technically a lie that she had

  met Leo at school. “I don’t want to make you jealous, but I had

  clam chowder.”

  He groaned. “Stop, you’re killing me. I’m so sick of rice I

  could puke. I was looking forward to Thanksgiving so I could eat

  some real food.”

  “What do you mean you were looking forward to it? Don’t

  you dare tell me you aren’t coming home.”

  “That’s why I needed to talk to you, baby.” He sighed heavily.

  “They don’t exactly celebrate the Pilgrims over here. I’ve got

  two subcontractors coming in that week from Shanghai and if

  I’m not here to show them what’s what, they’ll fuck it up again

  and I’ll end up having to stay an extra year to fix it. Which would

  you rather have happen?”

  She didn’t like either choice, but the idea of him being gone

  an extra year was her least favorite. He would push her to join him

  in Taiwan, but she didn’t want to postpone starting her teaching

  career. “I definitely want you to come home sooner.”

  “That’s what I thought. I’m sure you’ll have a good time with

  Mom and Dad. Sis will be there with Hardin.”

  Ugh. Mike’s mother was bad enough, but his sister and

  her snooty husband were insufferable. Without Mike there to

  redirect the conversation, she would have to endure Hardin’s

  unending advice on where to invest, what to drive and how to

  vote. At least the food would be delicious, since the whole feast

  would be catered. “It won’t be same without you.”

  “I know, but I’ll make it up to you. How would you like to

  meet me in Honolulu the week before Christmas?”

  “That’s the week I’m supposed to graduate. If you have the

  time off, why don’t you come to Santa Cruz and ch
eer for me

  when I finally get my diploma?”

  He hissed as he drew in a deep breath. “Please don’t ask me

  to do that. You know how I hate to sit through things like that.”

  She was hurt that he didn’t even consider her request, but it

  wasn’t as if he attended some events and not others. He avoided

  all of them, including weddings, funerals and virtually all social

  gatherings. Even at their first meeting, he had whisked her out of

  the Christmas party.

  “I know, I know. Forget about it.” Winter commencement

  ceremonies were always small, but still they didn’t acknowledge

  graduates by name, just degree. “I know you hate these things, so

  I won’t make you come.”

  “So what do you say? Three nights on Waikiki Beach? I’ll get

  Nissa to book it.”

  “Let me think about it.”

  He let out a short, faint sigh of frustration. “Okay, but I’ll

  need to get it on my planner within the next few days or Nissa

  will start filling it up with meetings.”

  “Please don’t be disappointed.”

  “How can I not be, Claudia? I haven’t seen you in months. I

  just offered you a trip to Hawaii and all you can say is you’ll get

  back to me.”

  Mike’s impatience served him well on the job site, where

  subcontractors bent over backward to avoid his wrath, but it

  was sometimes a challenge when it came to negotiating their

  relationship. She had learned from experience that a calm and

  reasoned response worked best to cool him off, and he often

  came around if she just left him to think about it on his own. “I

  want to say yes, but I need to check with Mom and Dad first. I

  invited them to come already, and they might want to, since they

  shelled out for four years of college. And besides, it’s important

  to me too.”

  He was quiet for a long moment, which was his usual reaction

  when she resisted being pushed. She liked to think it was because

  he recognized when he was being unreasonable. “Sure, check

  with them and let me know. I’ll try to keep those days free a little

  longer.”

  Clearly the part about graduation being important to her too

  had sailed over his head, but he had already made it clear how

  he felt about the mass ceremony so it was no use to belabor the

  point. “If it doesn’t work out, maybe I could come to Taiwan for

  Christmas and New Year’s.”

  “Okay, but I’d rather have you all to myself in Hawaii,” he said

  in a lecherous tone. “I’ve got to go. Nissa says my car’s here.”

  “Wait, I have something important to tell you. My principal

  wants me to apply for an opening next year. That means I could

  teach in Monterey while you finish up over there.”

  “That’s a horrible idea. Why would you want to do that?”

  She was stung by his response. “What’s wrong with it? I was

  honored to be asked.”

  “Claudia, you can’t complain about me being gone and then

  say you want to teach in Monterey. You’ve been up there for four

  and a half years. I was hoping you’d come over here when you

  got finished.”

  “Mike, I got a degree so I could teach, not so I could lounge

  around all day while you’re at work. And I only said I’d come for

  a visit, not to live.”

  “I’m coming!” he shouted brusquely to someone in his office.

  Then to her, “Why do you have to drop this shit on me when I’m

  running out the door? We’ll talk about it next week.”

  The connection crackled as he hung up, leaving her staring

  slack-jawed at the receiver.

  Chapter 14

  Leo gathered the abundant cloth between Claudia’s shoulder

  blades and pinned it, effectively turning her large white shirt into

  a size medium. “Don’t move too much or you’ll feel the wrath of

  these pins. I’m not much of a seamstress.”

  “It’s okay.” Claudia smiled impassively and gazed out the

  open window from her stool.

  A ray of sunlight crept onto the floor. In a couple of minutes

  it would be wide enough to bounce upward from the reflector

  screen into her face. That would set off a systematic frenzy for

  Leo as she took the first set of photos. She would have to juggle

  her light meter, reflector and camera to capture a dozen images

  with the ratio she needed. Then she would wait for the sun to

  descend further and shoot several more straight on through a

  white nylon diffuser.

  “I’ll be taking a few more photos today than last week because

  the sun will be moving while we shoot. But I promise you won’t

  have to hold the same pose for longer than a minute, two at the

  most.”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  Claudia’s words were reassuring, but her voice sounded

  troubled. Something was bothering her, and whatever it was had

  been there three nights ago when Leo had called to ask her to

  come an hour earlier. “Is there anything I can do to make this

  more comfortable? Would you rather have an armchair? I can

  grab the one from my bedroom and bring it up.”

  “I’m okay, honest.” Claudia sighed and her face took on a

  grim look. “I’m just a little preoccupied because Mike’s being a

  jerk.”“I’m sorry to hear that.” Not that she cared anything about

  Mike. She was only sorry Claudia was unhappy. The line of light

  had reached her feet, which meant the window for the first shot

  was imminent.

  “I’ve been in a shitty mood all week, and I haven’t told

  anybody why, not even Sandy.”

  “If you want to talk, I’ll listen…but I’ve got to be honest.

  We’re going to lose this shot in about ten minutes.” As soon as the

  words left her lips, she felt guilty for her selfishness. She weighed

  the imposition of pressing ahead with that of rescheduling and

  putting Claudia through the setup again. “But if you don’t want

  to deal with this today, that’s cool. We can do it next week.”

  “No, let’s go ahead. We’re ready.” Claudia wriggled her

  shoulders and settled into the pose they had practiced.

  Leo angled the reflector upward until it erased the shadows

  below Claudia’s brow, nose and chin. Then she stepped onto her

  platform to look down into her viewfinder and took three photos

  at varied exposures. “Okay, relax. I need to do that again in about

  three or four minutes. That was probably the best one, but I want

  one more angle of light to make sure.”

  Claudia took the opportunity to stretch her arms out to

  the side. “My principal asked me to apply for a job next year at

  Melrose. He can’t promise anything, but he hinted that he’d find

  a way to pull it off.”

  “He offered you a job?”

  “Basically.”

  This was terrific news for Leo, as she had begun to dread

  Claudia’s departure in only a month. “That’s fantastic. So why

  don’t you sound happy?”

  “Because I told Mike and he had a shit-fit. He said I’ve been

  gone longer than he has, and that four and a half years
was long

  enough.”

  “That’s ridiculous. He’s been overseas the whole time.” As

  they talked, she took continuous readings of Claudia’s face with

  her light meter. When it reached the desired exposure, she tilted

  the reflector to match the shifting sun. “Bear with me one more

  time.”

  Claudia stared blankly out at the water while Leo repeated

  the earlier process.

  “All right, the first one’s done. Let’s take a break.” She pulled

  the pins from the back of the shirt and fluffed it around Claudia’s

  shoulders. “Why don’t you get up and walk around? I’ve got a

  few things to do to get ready for the next one.” The next photo

  required a filter, in this case, a white nylon screen that she

  stretched flat and tacked onto the window frame.

  “It’s ridiculous that I’m not even allowed to make my own

  decisions. He thinks I should just pick up and move to Taiwan

  to be with him after I graduate, like actually using my degree for

  anything would be quaint. Big of him to indulge my little hobby.

  He sounds just like my mother.” Claudia spun on her heel and

  began pacing, her voice escalating with agitation. “But you know

  what the worst part is? He practically hung up on me Monday

  night, and then he wouldn’t take my call on Wednesday. I had to

  leave a message with his fucking secretary, which he didn’t even

  bother to return.”

  Leo was taken aback by the harsh tone. It was hard to believe

  this was the same person who had quieted a roomful of third-

  graders with her gentle voice. On the other hand, Claudia didn’t

  strike her as someone who let herself get pushed around either.

  “Why does he think he gets to control my life all the way

  from Taiwan? He isn’t even coming home for Thanksgiving, but

  I’ve got to sit there with his whole family—including his jerk of

  a brother-in-law—and smile through dinner like Doris Day. I

  hope he doesn’t think getting engaged gives him the right to tell

  me what to do. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership.” Her

  voice was rising along with the color in her face. “And what is

  this not taking my call? It’s like some three-year-old throwing a

  temper tantrum because he doesn’t get his way. It just makes me

  so goddamn furious.”