The Ultimate Aphrodisiac

by Robert G. Barrett

  ‘You sure are, Takatau. What did you think I brought you out here for? To go snorkelling?’

  ‘If you say so, Ron. Hey what’s with the bogeys?’

  ‘That’s what radar operators call UFOs when they pick them up on their screens.’

  ‘Right,’ remembered Brian. ‘You been flying them long?’

  ‘I’ve done a few sorties now and again,’ replied the President.

  Milne indicated for them to get changed. Brian got into his coveralls and boots and they were both a perfect fit. He looked himself over then checked out Milne.

  ‘Hey these are all right,’ said Brian. ‘We look like a couple of Italian racing drivers.’

  ‘Alta moda, bambino,’ replied Milne.

  Milne opened the esky and took out a thermos. He poured two cups of coffee, handed one to Brian and they sat down on the stone benches.

  ‘Okay, Ron,’ said Brian, taking a sip. ‘You were going to tell me some more about the temple.’

  ‘All right,’ said Milne. ‘But first you got to remember this. Earth’s four and a half billion years old. Say it took a billion years to cool off after the big bang. That leaves three billion years it’s been habitable. There’s no doubt advanced civilizations, some more advanced than the present one, have come and gone through wars and natural disasters. The current civilization will be gone in less than a thousand years. Some people will survive. Then it’ll start all over again. Till the sun eventually burns out in about five billion years. So a few thousand years here and there, even a hundred thousand, is nothing.’

  ‘Yeah. Fair enough,’ agreed Brian.

  ‘I’m still working on the petroglyphs. But all that writing carved into the wall, they’re a form of runes. Going way, way back.’

  ‘Runes,’ said Brian. ‘That’s Anglo-Celtic. European.’

  ‘That’s right. There’s a link between this place and Stonehenge. But my theory is this. I reckon the advanced civilization that built all this came from Atlantis.’

  ‘Atlantis?’ said Brian. ‘Shit! That’s a big call, Ron.’

  ‘Yes. But I reckon the legend of Atlantis has been around too long to dismiss. They’re said to have been an advanced civilization that was wiped out by a natural disaster. Or possibly a war. Legend says they had a connection with the sea, and lot of those petroglyphs have got wave patterns in them. When they built this temple, they made it just about impregnable. That front door seals air-tight. And the only other way in or out is through the pool.’

  Brian turned around. ‘Through the pool?’

  ‘Yeah. It leads out to the reef,’ said Milne. ‘That’s the entrance for the bogeys. I reckon the ancients came from Atlantis during a war. They knew about this island and the magnetic field. Built this temple first and sealed it off. Once they sorted everything out, they built the other ones. And Lan Laroi was their hideaway till they all eventually died off.’

  ‘Lan Laroi. The Safe Place,’ said Brian.

  ‘That’s it. I’d say the natives were already here. They would have thought the Atlanteans were gods and were too scared to go near the temples because of the magnetism. But the ancients would have mingled with the simple natives and left carvings and other artefacts lying around the rest of the island, which the natives incorporated into their culture. Luckily the natives were able to hide certain things from the sailing ships that rorted the island and the missionaries. And kept the legend alive through their songs and culture. Then I got here. Became one of the natives. Learnt what I could and ran what I found through a computer. And that’s the theory I came up with.’

  Brian shook his head in wonder. ‘Bloody hell! What a fantastic story, Ron.’

  ‘Yes. It sure is. But I got one more theory. Even a little more fantastic.’

  ‘Go on.’

  Milne nodded to the wall. ‘All those letters up there. They’re instructions how to fly the discs. I believe the ancients read the future and left these here for the right kind of person to find at the right time. And I’m the right kind of person.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘The natives believe in prophecy. And I believe in divine intervention.’ Milne became quite serious. ‘Brian. There were times in Vietnam when I should have been killed. No risk. But by some weird coincidence I wasn’t. When we sailed in here on the yacht, we found the place by accident. Our compass was out of whack. We didn’t even know the place existed. But we sailed straight up the harbour like homing pigeons. I honestly believe I was meant to find Lan Laroi. And all this. And put everything to good use. And Brian, I honestly believe you were sent to help me.’

  Milne stopped talking and finished his coffee, leaving a conjectural silence in the temple. A silence emphasised by the crystal’s soft glow, casting eerie shadows along the stone walls while it washed over the placid jade surface of the pool. Brian drank the last of his coffee and stared at the shadows for a moment, reflecting on the things Keleu had told him the night before.

  ‘You never know, Ron,’ he said tentatively. ‘Maybe you’re right.’

  ‘Maybe I am,’ replied Milne. Then he gave Brian a smile. ‘Anyway. They’re my theories, Brian. Now, anything else you’d like to know?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Brian. ‘If I’m going to fly a MeG 21, how am I going to learn to read all those runes?’

  ‘Forget it,’ said Milne. ‘There’s no need to.’

  ‘No need? How am I going to fly the things if I can’t read the instructions?’

  ‘Listen. You’ve got a VCR, a TV and a remote back home, haven’t you?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘You know how to program it and how to stick a video in and point the remote, right?’

  ‘Yeah,’ repeated Brian.

  ‘But you wouldn’t have a clue how it all works inside?’

  ‘No,’ agreed Brian.

  ‘Same deal. I’ll show you how to work the remote.’

  ‘Fair enough,’ said Brian. ‘So what are they made out of?’

  ‘I’m not exactly sure. Siliconised titanium, I think. The cabin’s reinforced silicone.’

  ‘Where are the guns? Have they got any guns?’

  Milne shook his head. ‘No guns. They’ve got AMI. Amy.’

  ‘Amy? What’s Amy?’

  ‘Anti-matter-interferometers. They join twin beams of anti-matter together and fire them out the front.’

  ‘Like a death ray?’

  ‘Yeah. Close enough,’ said Milne.

  ‘Are they fast?’ asked Brian.

  ‘They’re not bad,’ nodded Milne. ‘I’ve had them up to a hundred and fifty.’

  ‘A hundred and fifty? My Holden Astra’ll almost do that.’

  ‘A hundred and fifty thousand kilometres an hour.’

  ‘What?’ Brian’s eyes widened like two dinner plates.

  ‘Earth’s just over forty thousand kilometres in circumference,’ said Milne. ‘One Sunday I went for a spin. I sat on a hundred and fifty. Circled the globe. And was back here in about twenty minutes.’

  ‘Holy fuckin Harry!’

  ‘You can do the same speed backwards, forwards. Up, down. Sideways. And you don’t even know you’re moving. They make their own rotational gravity field. They’re that fast. We could pour a cup of coffee. Drink half. Zap over the other side of the world. And be back here before the other half got cold.’

  ‘Stop the bloody fight.’

  ‘And these are just the stock standard models, Brian. Imagine if I put a couple of Webbers in one and shaved the head.’

  ‘And you definitely know how to fly these things?’

  ‘I sure do, Takkers me old. And so will you by Wednesday.’

  Milne smiled at the look on Brian’s face. ‘Anyway. Enough techno babble. Let’s take a quick spin round the block.’

  ‘Where are we going?’ asked Brian.

  ‘Antarctica.’

  ‘Antarctica?’ Brian gave a nonplussed smile. ‘Have I got time for a leak?’

  ‘Yeah. Use the pool. I’ll join you.’ />
  They put their cups away, then walked down to the pool. After a quick splash, Milne walked across to the wall behind the three discs and took out a yellow crystal. Brian got the camera from his backpack and joined Milne under the larger disc in the middle.

  Milne tapped the undercarriage. ‘This one’s got two seats and dual controls. Before we go, I’ll just point something out to you. Remember I was talking about legends and culture?’ Milne pointed to the crystals in the wall. ‘They’re the keys to the bogeys. Notice the colours?’

  ‘Yeah. Yellow, blue and green’ said Brian.

  ‘What are the three tribes’ colours?’

  Brian thought for a second. ‘Well, I’ll be,’ he said.

  ‘My sentiments exactly.’

  Milne pushed the crystal into a hole beneath the disc. A hatch opened and a set of metal steps folded down. Milne took the key out and gestured to Brian.

  ‘After you, wing commander. Take the seat on the left.’

  ‘Aye aye, sir.’

  Brian climbed the steps into the disc. Everything was black or silver and similar to the cockpit of an airliner. There were two seats in front of a dashboard and the cabin wrapped around you so you got a three hundred and sixty degree view. Brian sat down facing the pool. The seat felt like a comfortable office chair with arm rests on either side. At the end of the arm rests were two spring-loaded handles with buttons and inbuilt triggers like the joystick on a play station. Under the dash was a foot rest. Milne came up the steps holding the crystal key. He sat down and inserted it into a slot in the dashboard. The steps folded inside, the hatch closed and the dual control dashboard lit up. There were no gauges. Just softly glowing crystals. A thin, straight, white one across the middle and two round ones underneath; the one on the left was in a metal circle that glowed at the top. Above these was a single red crystal and a silver button. To the right was a small oval-shaped metal grille.

  ‘This is all there is?’ said Brian.

  ‘That’s all you need, mate. It’s simple.’ Milne pointed to the dash. ‘That crystal in the middle. That’s your speedo. It gives you your speed in three sections. On the left it goes from zero to fifty kilometres. In the middle, fifty to five hundred. On the right, up to the big one-fifty. The crystal in that metal ring on the left is your navigator. The white glow at the top of the ring is true north. The crystal will move around the ring same as the needle on a compass. So if it’s opposite the glowing crystal you’re heading south. The other crystal’s your altitude. These have got a ceiling of thirty kilometres. That crystal will glow light blue and the higher you go, the darker it gets. When it’s blue-black, that’s thirty. The red crystal and the button: you press the button and that arms AMI. The crystal glows red to tell you it’s armed.’

  ‘What’s the little metal oval?’ he asked.

  ‘That’s the radio,’ said Milne. ‘Just like an old-fashioned crystal set. Maybe a shade more sophisticated.’

  Brian gave the dash a once over. ‘It looks simple enough.’

  ‘I told you,’ said Milne. ‘Now, these two handles on your arm rests. You see how they move around?’

  Brian took hold of the handles. ‘Yeah.’

  ‘That’s your steering. Whichever way you move those handles, straight ahead, backwards, up, down, sideways, that’s the way the disc will go.’

  Brian moved the two handles around. ‘I get the picture.’

  ‘The trigger on the right handle is your accelerator. The ratchet button on top is like a gear shift with three settings. Click one. You go from hover to fifty. Click two. Fifty to five hundred. Click three. That’s top speed. To stop, just let go of the handle. You’ll stop dead. That’s your brake. Then just hold the handle lightly to hover. You can go from top to stop in a split second and there’s no inertia.’

  ‘Unreal.’

  ‘The trigger on your left, that’s AMI. You push the button on the dash to arm it. And the button on the top of the left handle sets your weapon strength. Three settings. Same as your accelerator. Click one, full auto. Hold the trigger and Amy’ll squirt small DVs out the front of the disc like a machine gun.’

  ‘DVs?’ asked Brian.

  ‘Destruction Vortexes,’ said Milne. ‘Click two, semi-auto. Every time you squeeze the trigger, Amy’ll fire a heavier DV. Click three and Amy goes full tilt boogie every two seconds. All you got to do is pull the trigger.’

  ‘Full tilt boogie?’ asked Brian. ‘What’s full tilt boogie?’

  ‘You’ll see. Okay, I’m going to start the rotors and disconnect the holding pins,’ said Milne. ‘Your controls are disconnected. Get the feel of them as we’re moving.’

  ‘Okay,’ said Brian, gripping the two joysticks.

  Milne pushed the crystal further forward in the dash. There was a slight bump and the rims began to rotate. Within seconds they were just a whirling blur of white light you could see through. There was no sound and very little vibration; Brian soon got the impression he was floating in a sphere. Milne worked the controls and the disc left the wall and slowly floated towards the pool. Milne took it down the ramp and into the water. Once they were submerged, Brian could make out the four walls of a tunnel made from huge stone logs.

  Milne eased the disc along the tunnel. ‘Sneaky way in and out, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes,’ agreed Brian, watching bubbles getting swirled around the cabin.

  They followed the underwater tunnel beneath the reef till they came out in a deep blue abyss swarming with sharks. Four huge manta rays flapped their wings down into the inky depths as Milne nosed the disc towards the surface. Coming at them, it looked like a huge shining mirror, then they burst through and Milne hovered the disc about ten metres above the ocean. Brian could see blue sea and sky all around, and behind them, the temple poking up through the jungle.

  ‘Have a look under the disc,’ said Milne.

  Brian peered through the rotating rims. The force was that powerful, it was sucking water up from the surface and turning it into a violent water spout.

  ‘It looks like a tornado,’ said Brian.

  ‘I told you it had some guts.’ Milne gave Brian a smile ‘Okay, mate. Here we go. Next floor, ladies underwear and stockings. Thirty kilometres.’

  Brian felt the controls move in his hands, moments later they were stationary high above the ocean. Lan Laroi was hardly a speck in the blue vastness and the clouds far below were straggly pieces of cotton wool. Brian could still make out the horizon, but the sky above was starting to darken as it neared the stratosphere. There had been no sense of movement considering how far they had come in such a short space of time, and absolutely no inertia when they stopped. The only sensation was the atmosphere in the cabin seemed to have thickened as if it was giving you support. The air was still easy to breathe, however, and the temperature felt perfect. Brian noticed the crystal in the dash was glowing dark blue.

  ‘Bloody hell,’ he said, looking through the spinning rim in awe.

  ‘Something else, ain’t it, first time up,’ said Milne.

  ‘Where’s my camera?’ Brian got his Canon from where he’d placed it at his feet and snapped off several photos. He took one looking through the troposphere into the stratosphere before the sensation of hanging motionless in the sky had Brian feeling a little apprehensive. ‘What happens if the motor cuts out?’ he asked.

  ‘It won’t,’ Milne assured him. ‘But if it did, the disc is aerodynamically designed to spiral down just like a falling leaf. I’ve tried it.’

  ‘You have?’

  ‘Yeah,’ nodded Milne. ‘When you start flying solo you can’t make a blue. Even if you bump into something. Or something comes at you. The force field will protect you all the time. The only thing that can get near one of these is another MeG 21.’

  ‘This is amazing,’ said Brian, taking another photo.

  ‘Anyway,’ said Milne, ‘no good hanging around here like a stale bottle of piss. Let’s head for Antarctica. South by south-east. Warp three, Mr Sulu
.’

  Brian watched the crystal in the speedo move to the end and looked out the cabin. It was like watching super-fast, time-lapse photography. The clouds below were white smears flashing by, with glimpses of ocean in between. They passed over two tropical storms, the lightning flashing in the rolling black clouds like a fantastic fireworks display. As they raced overhead, Brian was amazed to see bolts of lightning shooting up towards the sky. The Pacific blue suddenly changed to a more ominous cobalt flecked with the whites of breaking waves. A mass of land appeared on their left.

  ‘What was that?’ asked Brian.

  ‘The south island of New Zealand,’ said Milne. ‘Coming up next is Macquarie Island.’

  ‘Is there something orange down there?’ said Brian, pointing to the ocean.

  ‘That’ll be the Aurora Australis. The Australian Antarctic research ship.’

  ‘It looks like a match.’

  Milne nodded. ‘Everything does from up here. But it’s good flying at thirty kilometres. I can keep well above any airliners or jet fighters that might be around. All I get up here’s the odd high-altitude weather balloon.’

  ‘This thing goes that fast nobody’d see much anyway, would they?’ asked Brian.

  ‘Just a shiny white ball whizzing past,’ said Milne.

  Brian was about to say, ‘How about a silver circle,’ when Milne pointed towards the ocean.

  ‘We’re just about there,’ he said. ‘I’ll take her down.’ In an instant, Milne dropped the disc to less than a kilometre above the surface and cut the speed back.

  Although the sun was out, it looked cold and forbidding as they scooted over the ocean. The water was a deep, iridescent blue, whipped with wind and white caps and not a thing in sight. Then the first ice packs appeared and before long ice was everywhere, as if the ocean had turned into a mass of glistening, floating white.

  ‘So that’s Antarctica,’ said Brian. ‘Christ! Look at all that ice.’

  ‘They don’t call it the white world for nothing,’ said Milne. ‘This is the start of the Antarctic Shelf. I’m heading for the Ross Ice Ridge.’

  ‘What are you looking for?’

  ‘You’ll see in a minute.’