Lengi had Brian out of bed by five the following morning. There was no moon outside and, apart from the stars, it was pitch black. Brian had a shower, put his uniform on and walked down to the kitchen. Milne was in his uniform with a glass of orange juice, seated next to Keleu and Airu, sipping coffee in their office uniforms. Everybody looked quite fresh considering the hour and, despite the gravity of the situation, Brian was in a fairly jovial mood. He said hello to everybody, got a glass of orange juice and sat down next to Milne.
‘So what’s doing, Reichsmarschall,’ he said, tapping Milne’s silver wings. ‘Everything on schedule?’
‘Everything’s as good as gold,’ replied Milne. ‘And you’re looking very chipper this morning.’
‘Well, I had a good night’s sleep,’ answered Brian. ‘No drink, no drugs. And no tampering.’
Keleu looked into her coffee. Airu stifled a yawn. Milne gestured with one hand. ‘We’re at war, mate. There’s a curfew on.’
‘Yeah? What’s next?’ said Brian. ‘Ration cards? You’ve already brought in daylight saving.’
‘Actually,’ replied Milne, ‘the main reason we’re up so early is because I want that message to Clooney sent at just the right time. And as well as having to allow for time zones, satellites, the Australian consulate in Konipeau and the American TV network, I have to rely on the drones in the White House. Then I want to arrange a hotline between here and Washington DC.’
‘It’s a complicated business all right, Sawi,’ said Brian.
‘I know. Plus I have to think of my lovely staff and the time driving out to the temple to see the Loo Noo.’
‘Peace and joy to Lan Laroi,’ said Brian. ‘And God bless the Loo Noo.’
‘You got it,’ nodded Milne. ‘Do do, that Loo Noo. That we do, so well.’
Keleu and Airu exchanged puzzled looks as Lengi served up a pile of eggs and bacon and everything else, along with more coffee and a stack of toast. They took their time eating, then Brian and Milne said goodbye, got their gear and went down to the Jackaroo. Together with the esky, they placed their bags in the back, and the sun was just starting to stain the night sky over the mountains with smears of pink and purple when they drove off towards the temple.
Brian wasn’t thinking about much as he peered through the wall of white light thrown out by the Jackaroo’s powerful high-beam into the jungle ahead. The thought that he was about to go out and kill who knew how many people, was somewhere at the back of his mind. Milne wasn’t saying a great deal either.
‘You’ve certainly got Keleu and Airu brainwashed,’ said Brian. ‘They think the Loo Noo are real people.’
‘I know,’ answered Milne. ‘That’s how innocent they are. And that’s how I want it to be. I don’t want some mercenary coming here and kidnapping one of them, thinking they know what’s going on.’
‘Fair enough,’ said Brian. ‘So what am I going to tell Keleu tonight?’
‘You don’t have to tell her anything. She won’t ask.’
‘You’re right. She must have known what happened on the island. But she never said a word last night.’
‘They’re good kids.’ Milne turned to Brian. ‘Do you love Keleu?’
Brian looked at Milne for a moment. ‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘Yes I do.’
‘Good,’ smiled Milne. ‘And I love Airu. So now you know where I’m coming from.’
They drove through the rainforest and past the farming area into the gorge. Before Brian knew it, they were stopped outside the temple and the early morning sun was gradually filtering into the jungle as it spread a silver sheen across the reefs and the surrounding ocean. They got their bags, left the Jackaroo and walked across to the temple. Milne opened the ancient door and they went downstairs.
‘Well,’ said Milne, tossing his bag on the stone table and taking a seat. ‘Here we are.’
‘Yeah,’ said Brian. ‘We sure are.’
Milne looked at his watch. ‘There’s no mad hurry. We may as well have a cup of coffee. I got Lengi to put in an extra thermos.’
‘Okay. I could go a coffee,’ said Brian.
Milne opened the esky and poured them a cup each. He also opened his bag and took out a large book and opened it: The Times Atlas of the World. He showed Brian Guam, Hawaii, New Caledonia, France and England. ‘I haven’t got a proper drawn-up plan,’ he said. ‘But I got half an idea where their naval bases and airfields are. So this is where we’re going. Just fly in behind me and let AMI loose on everything that looks military.’
‘Righto,’ said Brian.
‘It won’t take us all that long and we should be back well in time for the late.’ Milne sipped some coffee, shook his head and smiled whimsically at Brian. ‘It’s strange, isn’t it? We’re sitting drinking coffee and talking about going for a surf. And there’s people out there, going about their business, don’t know they’ll be dead before the day’s over.’ Milne looked directly at Brian. ‘Does that worry you, Brian?’
Brian thought for a moment. ‘No more than it would have worried that rescue mission how many people they would have killed. Except we’ll be doing it on a grander scale.’
Milne nodded slowly. ‘My attitude exactly, Brian. Well put.’
They drank their coffee, had a refill and sat quietly. After a while Milne looked at his watch. ‘Okay. It’s time to switch to disco. Come and I’ll show you.’
Milne lead Brian over to a small alcove behind the stairs Brian hadn’t noticed before. Above it was carved a line of strange writing and on a stone ledge inside sat a large purple crystal. Milne took the crystal and placed it in a slot in the wall, then gave it a solid shove. There was a humming sound like a generator starting, then the temple vibrated and Brian felt as if his legs were going to go on him and he momentarily blacked out. He blinked his eyes open and regained his balance.
‘Shit!’ said Brian, shaking his head as tiny stars exploded before his eyes. ‘What was that?’
‘That was the force field coming on,’ explained Milne, as everything settled down. ‘Did you feel a bit dizzy?’
‘Yeah. Like I’d hyperventilated or something.’
‘You got hit by a magnetic surge. You’re lucky, white boy. You only felt it for a few seconds. The rest of the island’ll be on their arse for the next fifteen minutes. Then they’ll feel like they’re full of valium. That’s why I had to hang around. If I’d switched it on too soon, Keleu and Airu would have been asleep at the switch and my mate CC wouldn’t have got his message.’
Brian looked at the purple crystal glowing in the wall. ‘That is absolutely amazing.’
‘It keeps the mosquitoes out,’ winked Milne. ‘But it doesn’t bother the MeG 21s.’ He smiled at Brian and started back to the table. ‘I’ve been saving that one for you.’
‘You sure you’re not saving anything else in here for me, Ron?’ asked Brian
‘You never know,’ said Milne. He took another look at his watch. ‘Well, I suppose we might as well make a move. You ready to go to war?’
Brian snapped a salute. ‘Yessir, Mr President.’
‘Good.’ Milne reached inside his bag and took out the two masks and a small radio-cassette. ‘Here’s your mask. Put it on when we get outside.’
‘What’s with the cassette?’ said Brian, putting the mask in his overnight bag next to his camera.
‘Music to blow things up by. You’ll hear it over the radio.’
They took their crystals from the wall and climbed aboard the MeG 21s. Milne gave Brian a hello over the radio, then they undocked and Brian followed Milne along the tunnel under the reef. Outside it was now a beautiful day. Bright blue skies, puffs of white cloud drifting over the ocean, and a gentle sea breeze ruffling the coconut trees along the water’s edge. Brian glanced over the island, expecting a significant change due to the force field. But if nobody told you, you wouldn’t know it was there. Milne pulled up alongside him.
‘We’ll fly to maximum ceiling then head for Guam at about warp seven,
Mr Sulu. That should get us there at just a nice time.’
‘Very good, Captain,’ said Brian.
‘Okay, Wing Commander. Put your mask on.’
Brian put his mask on, then looked across at Milne sitting in his cabin wearing his. He looked exactly like an alien in a UFO. Brian caught his own reflection and laughed. Milne did too.
Milne pointed up. ‘Righto. Let’s go.’ He took them to thirty kilometres and they sped off across Micronesia.
As they flew over the Pacific, Brian couldn’t help the adrenalin swirling around in the pit of his stomach. It was going to be one hell of a day. Towards Truk Island, he peered down through the clouds darting past below and a grey speck in the ocean caught his eye.
‘Hey Ron,’ he said. ‘There’s something down there. It looks like an aircraft-carrier.’
‘Yeah. I just noticed myself,’ answered Milne. ‘Let’s go down and have a look.’
Milne cut his speed and led Brian down to a kilometre above the ship. ‘It’s a helicopter troop carrier,’ said Milne, tersely. ‘Being an old soldier, I’d say it’s the vanguard of the invasion force heading for Lan Laroi.’
‘The dirty rotten scoundrels,’ said Brian.
‘My sentiments exactly,’ said Milne. ‘I’m going down to put my boot right up its arse.’
‘I’ll follow you.’
Captain Gower K. Hurrell was on the bridge of the USS Clarke drinking coffee while he waited for Lieutenant Commander Melvin Kresevic Jnr to come back from the john. Captain Hurrell was still pissed off at losing the rescue mission and still mystified how it happened. He was also pissed off at having to return to Lan Laroi so soon. With all the preparation for the invasion and the neverending debriefings about the lost rescue mission, he didn’t have time on Guam to read a newspaper, let alone get in a round of golf. The Captain was wondering what was taking his second in command so long, when a concerned radar operator called his attention.
‘Sir. Could you come over here and take a look at this, please?’ said the ensign.
The Captain walked over and looked at all the orange lines and dots blinking on and off on the radar screen. ‘What is it, sailor?’
‘Sir. I’ve got two bogeys above the ship.’
‘Bogeys? Where?’
The ensign pointed to the radar screen. ‘There, sir. They just appeared out of nowhere.’
‘What are you talking about, sailor?’ grunted the Captain. ‘Things don’t appear out of nowhere.’
‘These did. Look, sir. They’re moving closer. They’re less than a kilometre off our port bow.’
Another sailor called the Captain’s attention and pointed out to starboard. ‘Sir. We have two white lights at ship’s level, sitting off our port bow.’
‘What do you mean sitting off our port bow? There’s no helicopters this far from land. Find Lieutenant Commander Kresevic.’ Captain Hurrell raised his binoculars to get a closer look at the last thing he was ever going to see in his life.
‘The USS Clarke,’ said Milne, setting AMI at three. He watched the red dots form into one on the dashboard. ‘Okay. Let’s put one right up the Clarke’s clacker and see what happens.’ Milne squeezed the trigger and a fat, swirling DV spiralled towards the Clarke.
Steaming portside on, the ship didn’t stand a chance and the DV slammed into it like a battering ram. There was a massive explosion as the ship’s fuel tanks ruptured, igniting the magazine, and the ship disintegrated in a gigantic fireball. Lumps of superstructure, decking, helicopters and bodies flew through the air as the ocean boiled, before flaring into a lake of burning oil and acrid smoke. Brian watched as smouldering metal and bodies rained from the sky into the smoke and flames. It wasn’t like simply smashing up an iceberg, and it had happened so fast. One minute there was a huge ship full of sailors and marines. Next there was nothing but smoke, burning oil, and bodies floating amongst the wreckage.
‘What do you reckon, Takatau?’ asked Milne. ‘Did that work or what? Hey, Takatau. Are you there?’
‘Yeah. Yeah I’m here.’ Brian could scarcely believe his eyes. ‘Christ! The poor bastards. They didn’t stand a chance.’
‘Yes. The war’s over for them,’ said Milne. ‘Quick though, wasn’t it?’
‘Too quick,’ said Brian. ‘Bloody hell!’
‘Anyway. No good hanging around here. Let’s visit Guam.’
‘Yeah,’ said Brian, taking a last look at the burning ocean. ‘Let’s.’
Milne took them back up to thirty kilometres and they sped towards Guam. Brian was a little numbed as the reality of what they were about to do sunk in. But even though his adrenalin was still pumping, he found he’d handled it better than he’d thought. Maybe the innoculation against killing Milne had forced on him at Tiger Island had worked. Before he knew it the President’s voice came over the radio again.
‘Okay. Slow up,’ he said. ‘There it is down there. Nine o’clock.’
Brian looked down and saw the island of Guam. North was a smaller island, then Saipan. ‘It looks like a peanut,’ said Brian.
‘A little,’ said Milne. ‘You see those spikes of land sticking out on the left-hand side of the peanut?’
‘Yeah.’
‘That’s Apra Harbor Naval Station. You hit that. I’m going north to knock off the air force bases. Keep in touch by radio and I’ll see you back here.’
‘Okay. See you then.’ Brian took the MeG 21 down as Milne peeled off to the left.
Coming up along the coast of Guam at around five hundred metres, the high-rise hotels, white beaches, blue sea and outer reefs reminded Brian of Waikiki without the surf. He could see people driving cars and buses or looking up at the silver disc from the beach or on boats cruising around the adjacent reefs. Brian was about to prime AMI when music coming from the speaker filled the cabin. It was Lee Kernaghan singing ‘The Overlander Trail’ and Milne was crooning along with the lyrics.
‘We’re on the overlander, overlander trail,
where only sheer determination will prevail.
Sons of Aussie with a job to do,
so we’ll stick and see the cattle through.’
This is madness, thought Brian. Complete fuckin madness. I’m in a real-life Apocalypse Now. He took his camera out, primed AMI on three, and watched the harbour and the naval station approaching. There were ships docked everywhere, commercial and military. In the middle of the grey ones was a huge aircraft-carrier, its deck covered in planes. Brian picked out the name on the bow, USS John Wayne. Brian tilted the disc and squeezed the trigger.
Carrying more fuel, the John Wayne went up in a bigger explosion than the Clarke, taking out the surrounding docks, warehouses and two support vessels in a gigantic ball of fire, exploding ammunition and deadly fuel rods from its nuclear reactor. Even in the disc, the noise was horrendous. A row of F–15 Eagles and several helicopters lined up on the deck were hurled into the air like toys before they came down and exploded in the harbour or onto the surrounding docks. Brian hovered the disc and stared in horrified amazement as the blast swept round him and wreckage and flying bodies bounced off the disc’s magnetic field like peas bouncing off a drum. Once the smoke cleared, Brian took some photos, set AMI on two and picked off three destroyers, two submarines, two oil tankers, a guided missile carrier and anything else that was grey or still floating. When there were no ships left, he picked off the cranes sitting on the docks and the warehouses. As soon as they were nothing but burning, smoking ruins, Brian set AMI on one, did a loop-the-loop then came back and strafed what was left.
While Brian was destroying Apra harbour, Milne was strafing Anderson Air Force Base, blowing apart B–52s, Stealth Bombers, F–15s, B–3s, helicopters and anything else with wings and a fuselage, along with all the barracks and hangars. A squadron of F–14 Tomcats coming into land took off again to engage Milne and he shot them out of the sky before they could regroup. One AAA battery near the landing tower got off a few rounds. Milne watched the shells bouncing off the disc,
then blasted the anti-aircraft gun and its crew to bits, along with the flight tower. He’d annihilated the other two air force bases and was having the time of his life strafing what was left of the last one when he heard Brian’s voice on the radio.
‘You there, Ron?’
‘That’s a big ten-four, Rubber Ducky,’ replied Milne.
‘Ohh don’t fuck around, Ron,’ said Brian. ‘You ought to see what I’ve done over here. It’s a slaughter.’
‘Yeah. It’s something else isn’t it, mate,’ said Milne. ‘You reckon they’ve had enough?’
‘Had enough? Christ! It’s like Armageddon.’
‘That’s good,’ said Milne. ‘Because they’re well and truly rooted up this end. And Armageddon out of here.’
‘Suits me,’ said Brian. ‘We’re are we going?’
‘Hawaii. Grab your board shorts, Big Kahuna, and follow me.’
Brian looked at the smoke billowing up from the harbour and noticed Milne’s disc shoot above him. He fell in behind and couldn’t believe it when the Beach Boys’ ‘Hawaii’ came whining out of the speaker. By the time Brian changed film and had a drink of water they’d screamed over Midway and were approaching the Hawaiian Islands. Milne took them down and soon they were nearing Oahu. Brian could see Diamond Head on the right, the catamarans and high-rise hotels crowded along Waikiki, and right in the middle: Pearl Harbor.
‘You know how to get to Pearl Harbor from here, don’t you?’ said Milne.
‘Yeah. Follow the coast past the Alawai Canal and take a right near the airport.’
‘Okay. You’re good with ships. You go in and shoot up whatever you can find. I’m going to knock off Schofield Barracks and Hickham Field. I’ll meet you over Makaha.’
‘Righto,’ said Brian. ‘See you then.’ Brian took the disc down and flew into Pearl Harbor.
Pearl Harbor was just as beautiful as the last time Brian had seen it, with the surrounding cloud-tossed mountains, the palm trees and the lovely bays running off the harbour. And this time it was packed with naval vessels. Two aircraft-carriers, troopships, frigates, a light cruiser, rows of destroyers, submarines and various support vessels. Brian hovered a little less than a kilometre away and took out both aircraft-carriers with two hits from AMI on three. He clicked AMI on two, then hovered and picked off every ship in sight. Again it was the same death and destruction. Flames erupted everywhere and huge black clouds of smoke billowed into the sky. Brian couldn’t help but be reminded of all the films he’d seen about the Japanese sneak attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941. Only this was a sneak attack in the space age. The only other difference was Brian hit the Arizona War Memorial, and everything resting on the bottom since 1941 got blown across Pearl Harbor with everything else. When he’d finished bombing, Brian criss-crossed the harbour, strafing anything in sight, including a cutter full of ratings; AMI on one tore them to shreds and turned their boat into matchwood. Several shells unexpectedly bounced off the disc’s magnetic field. Brian turned the disc around and saw a lone seaman was firing at him from a heavy machine gun mounted on the stern of an old minesweeper. Brian flew almost up to the minesweeper, clicked AMI on two, and half a dozen DVs later the minesweeper was just a shell of burning wreckage, quickly sinking to the bottom along with the lone seaman and his deck gun. Brian strafed back and forth across the harbour again, then gave Milne a call.
The Ultimate Aphrodisiac Page 32