Fakespeare--Star-Crossed in Romeo and Juliet
Page 9
Still smiling, Becca turned to look at Kyle, who looked like he’d actually enjoyed the conversation he’d had with Halley. The surprises just kept coming.
Becca decided to take charge, like the Narrator would have. “First, let’s pack these books up and ship ’em back. Or bury them. Something.”
Looking around, she spotted Romeo and Juliet lying on the floor a few feet away. She reached out a hand very slowly, brushing a corner of the book and yanking her hand back. When nothing happened, she picked it up. Something caught her eye. “Hey, wait a minute.…”
There was a piece of paper stuck in the book that hadn’t been there before, and she tugged it out.
“Um, does anyone else want to read this?”
Kyle shook his head very fast.
“I’ll do it,” Halley said. Becca only felt relief as she handed her the note.
“Dear Reader,” Halley read, rolling her eyes as she said it, “I hope you enjoyed your first thrilling and educational expedition with the Get Lost Book Club. No doubt you already miss the escape our club can give you from ordinary life. Don’t worry, though. This was just the first of many adventures to come.”
“Oh no,” Kyle said. “Absolutely not. No. I’m never opening one of those old books again.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever open any book again,” Becca said. “What if I got nabbed by a math textbook or a train schedule?”
“I have some great ideas for future Mal & Cal Worthy adventures, though,” Kyle said to Becca.
“Me, too!” she replied. “If we don’t win the Storyland contest this year, we’ll definitely win it next year. But let’s talk about that after we’ve hurled these books into the sun.”
“Yeah,” Kyle agreed. “I mean, I still want to go to Hawaii eventually, but Hamlet was pretty exciting even though I didn’t leave my living room. Not”—he quickly added—“that I ever want to get lost in a book again!”
“I hope you’ve all been having a good time,” Mrs. Word said, walking into the living room with cinnamon-stained hands. “Wow, Kyle, is that Hamlet?” she said. “I didn’t realize you were studying Shakespeare. You like it?”
Becca saw Kyle and Halley exchange a look.
“Yeah,” Kyle said through what sounded like clenched teeth. “It was gripping.”
“Captivating,” Halley said.
Becca smiled. “One of those stories you feel like you’re right in the middle of.”
“You can almost smell it,” Sam added.
Mrs. Word smiled delightedly. “You three are all welcome to stay for dinner if you’d like. Mr. W. said it’ll be ready soon. He’s got a big pot of tomato soup bubbling.”
Becca’s stomach lurched. She put her hands on her stomach, trying to let it know she wouldn’t subject it to any more Instead-Stix and marinara sauce. But it didn’t help that Kyle was telling Gabe that tomatoes were actually yummy.
“Uh,” Sam said, grabbing his basketball off the carpet. “I’d love to, but I have to … write that essay about, um, carpentry. Becca, you need that library book returned, right? I’ll grab that and run over to the library first. I bid thee—I mean, have a good night!” He made his exit as if he were being pursued by a bear.
“More for the rest of you,” Kyle’s mom said, smiling. “It should be almost ready—” She suddenly stopped talking and blinked once. “What’s that awful smell?”
* * *
Dear Reader,
Congratulations: You, too, made it through the perils of the book! You followed Becca, Sam, and the brave Rufus on their strange, perilous, and eye-opening journey through the world of Romeo and Juliet. You, as they did, found out new things, watched other characters change, and maybe started to understand a little more about the world.
As with every journey and every story, some questions are answered at the end, but some remain unanswered. Where did the Narrator hide the stolen cheese and dough recipe? Who is this Ophelia, Romeo’s mysterious long-distance poetry teacher? And what strange adventures did Halley and Kyle have while Becca and Sam were stuck in Verona?
As with most questions, the answers can be found within a book. If you’re brave enough to dive back in. William Shakespeare wrote a great many plays, including one called Hamlet. Kingly treason, ghosts, skulls, tights … Perhaps nothing as dangerous as Romeo’s poetry, but some of it comes close.
There are so many more books to explore. If you want more answers, and more important, if you want to find new questions to ask, that’s the best place to look.
Sincerely,
* * *
*By participating in the contest, entrant warrants and represents that his/her entry is original to the entrant, has not been previously published or won any award, and does not contain any material that would violate or infringe upon the rights of any third party, including copyrights (including, without limitation, copyrighted images or footage), trademarks, or rights of privacy or publicity.
Please note that by entering the contest, you are also signing up for the Get Lost Book Club, founded by the most wonderful and splendid Narrator of all time.
**Sorry, kids; the Narrator is a jerk, and this contest is not real. He would still like to read your stories, though. Please send them, along with any complaints about his treachery, to the address located in this book—if you can find it (Hint: it’s on the copyright page, near a certain book curse).
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I have been fortunate enough in my life to not only write goofy, whimsical books as a job, but to perform Shakespeare live on stage as a job as well. Of all my enthusiastically geeky interests, Shakespeare is hard to top. Stepping into a playing space and embodying characters from and for all time, speaking words committed to paper when the printing press was scarcely more than a century old and reigned as the cutting edge of idea dissemination, is an experience profound and thrilling enough that I couldn’t possibly give this sentence an ending that would do it justice.
It was that deep fondness in my heart that led to these books, and the odd adventures of the characters within. They aren’t severe departures from Shakespearean tendencies, either. His plays are full of silly jokes and “lowbrow” humor. They are, for the most part, straightforward stories with big, easily relatable themes. And they are entirely capable of being appreciated—and understood—by young audiences. It’s my hope that the Fakespeare tales will be enjoyed both as stories in their own right and as a way to tell young readers not to be afraid of Shakespeare.
I must thank the excellent people at Paper Lantern, in particular Kamilla Benko and Lexa Hillyer, the latter of whom helped with this project while preparing to have and subsequently caring for an entirely other tiny human, a task I can’t conceive the dauntingness of. I also extend heartfelt thanks to the good people at Macmillan, without whom you could read this book only if I printed it out, walked up, and handed it to you. My editor (and publisher of Imprint) Erin Stein, editorial assistant Nicole Otto, creative director Natalie C. Sousa, associate marketing director Kathryn Little, publicist Kelsey Marrujo, senior production manager Raymond Ernesto Colón, and production editor Ilana Worrell.
I also want to thank those who led me down the path to Shakespeare: Woody Howard, one of my first acting teachers and the subject of this book’s dedication, and Paul Moser, whose Shakespeare acting course was the centerpiece of my acting training. I also want to toss some thanks to the good people of the Adirondack Shakespeare Company who keep hiring me to act in their productions even after getting to know me.
As always, thanks to all of my friends for giving me someone to discuss these cool things with, my mother and sister for taking time out of doing great things themselves to cheer me on, and a lady named Andrea whom I asked to dance a few years ago and, to my great fortune, haven’t yet trod on the toes of enough to end that dance.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
M.E. CASTLE is a New York City–raised writer and actor living in Washington, DC. He is the author of the beloved Clone Chronicles
, which introduced the world to Fisher Bas and his clones, a flying pig, and a large supporting cast of robots, aliens, and a very proper talking toaster. When not writing, he can be found performing the works of Shakespeare onstage, which has given him the expertise necessary to create this utterly scholarly and serious work. You can sign up for email updates here.
ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR
DANIEL JENNEWEIN has been drawing since kindergarten, where he could mainly be found drawing skulls and hooks, to the irritation of some adults. He works as a freelance illustrator and art director in Frankfurt. His picture books include Is Your Buffalo Ready for Kindergarten? (written by Audrey Vernick, 2010), Teach Your Buffalo to Play Drums (written by Audrey Vernick, 2011), and Chick-o-Saurus Rex (written by Lenore Jennewein, 2013).
Visit him online at danieljennewein.com, or sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1: Nothing Good Comes in a Bucket
Chapter 2: The Only Annoying Thing Is Everything
Chapter 3: Library Fines and Mysterious Rhymes
Chapter 4: Aloha, Verona
Chapter 5: No Greater Narrator Ever Spoke a Play …
Chapter 6: Beware of Low-Flying, Bad-Smelling Tybalts
Chapter 7: Boldly Our Hero Mopes
Chapter 8: Romeo and … Rosaline?
Chapter 9: Don’t Trick-or-Treat at the Old Capulet House
Chapter 10: Some Poems Are Happy and Some Poems Are Sad; Some Rhymes Are Good and Some Rhymes Are Less Good
Chapter 11: Pretend Pizza and Real Swords
Chapter 12: Crossing the Rosaline
Chapter 13: Sam and Juliet?
Chapter 14: A Marliboo by Any Other Name
Chapter 15: Pizza Chain of Command
Chapter 16: Winter, Spring, Summer, and …
Chapter 17: The Balcony Scene* *Not Original Flavor—New Zesty Ranch
Chapter 18: Follow the Slobber Trail?
Chapter 19: Fiddling with the Riddle of Tybalt
Chapter 20: Nosing Your Way to Victory
Chapter 21: Collaborate and Listen
Chapter 22: All’s Well That Ends—Sorry, Wrong Play
Chapter 23: If I Never See a Tomato Again …
Acknowledgments
About the Author
About the Illustrator
Copyright
Copyright © 2017 by Paper Lantern Lit.
A part of Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010
mackids.com
All rights reserved.
A binding ward this volume rings,
And any, be they serfs or kings,
Who touch its spine with thieving in their hearts
Will sorely whine with grieving from the smarts
Inflicted by its pages’ stings.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by e-mail at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.
Imprint logo designed by Amanda Spielman
Illustrations by Daniel Jennewein
First hardcover edition 2017
eBook edition May 2017
eISBN 9781250101617