Lia's files 1_Presumed extinct

by Kathrin Kilambya

  It wasn’t long before the sun reached our spot and we could bask in its warmth. After all those days underground! It was wonderful.

  Otherwise, it was scary.

  Yes, there was no imminent danger. No-one anywhere. But the silence!

  It took hours before we could hear some birds sing again, they too must have been shocked into silence by the bombs.

  This utter silence, apart from the occasional rumbling of falling debris from the ruins of the houses, as well as the emptiness were spooky and scary as hell, at least to me.

  Yuki didn’t look too confident either and Alice kept close to us all the time.

  Nin was itching to explore, that much was clear. He kept fidgeting and pointing to things, commenting on what might be here or there, that it might be worth to go and see, and things.

  But I didn’t feel like wandering about at all. Strange, I wasn’t normally that timid. Maybe the events of that day down by the river were finally catching up with me. But no, that was only part of the story. What really scared me now, more than it had ever scared me when I was out here alone, was the more than distinct possibility that we might be utterly alone, the only survivors for miles and miles around.

  And as we sat there, the realisation sunk in what that might mean. No-one to come and help, no-one to come and see whether we were okay, alive, or anything. No-one! Just the four of us. With our parents, family and friends thousands of miles away!

  And we wouldn’t know whether they were still alive unless we went to see! Unless we travelled to our agreed upon rendezvous place thousands of miles to the south!

  How utterly and completely crazy! How were we ever to get there!

  And, how were Josh and his friends ever to get here and find us, granted they were still alive!

  Please, please, let them be okay, please! And please, let them find us, and soon! Please let him be okay!

  Part of me was dreading this meeting with Josh, because of all the things we had revealed to each other, I felt shy and uncertain at the thought of what I should say once I met him. Silly of me, maybe – but nonetheless how I felt. But the other and much bigger part of me simply longed to see him, for my sake as well as the others.

  With Josh and his friends around, things would be easier, we’d be more persons, responsibilities could be shared, tasks better divided.

  Now, it was basically down to Nin and me to make sure we were safe. For Alice and Yuki it was far too dangerous to move about. I for one couldn’t, and I was pretty sure neither could Nin, contemplated either Yuki or Alice outside alone.

  Which left the task of scouting out our surroundings to Nin and me. And, scouting we would have to do, soon. We needed to get an idea of how things stood. Plus, we would soon need to get supplies and a safe way to go get them.

  “Lia, does this mean I won’t have to go to school anymore … never ever?” Alice’s rather funny question woke me up from my train of thought and made us all laugh.

  Nin reached over to tousle her hair.

  “Yes and no, little tiger. You certainly won’t go to school anymore like you did before. But we’ll be your teachers, won’t we?”

  With this he looked at Yuki and me.

  “Yes, of course!” Yuki got excited here. “We’ll all be your teachers, Alice. I’ll teach you languages, writing and reading, maybe also history. Nin, you can teach her maths; and Lia will over geography and biology. Later, as you grow, we’ll add more subjects. And once Josh and his friends will be here, they’ll help, too. Don’t you think?”

  I could have embraced her for this! She had said ‘once’ not ‘if’! I just smiled broadly at her and she winked at me. Alice looked a bit peeved now, she had clearly hoped for a definite end to school and learning. Still trying to get her way, Alice tried another approach.

  “But I’ll also get holidays, won’t I?”

  It was so transparent and cute, we all had to laugh again. Alice didn’t like this at all, she pouted her mouth and looked annoyed.

  “Sure, sure.” Nin grinned affectionately at her. “You’ll get your vacations. But not quite yet. While we be waiting for Josh and his friends, you might as well learn something. Besides, teaching you will help us all pass time … But now, I have been sitting around here long enough. I want to go over and check the solar panels. We are utterly dependant on them for power after all.”

  And with that he got up and got ready to move.

  He took us utterly by surprise. My first reaction was to urge him to stay with us. But then again, we would have to learn to move around without constant fear of things, hidden dangers and the like. Maybe now was a good time to start.

  Yuki may have had the same reservations as me, but she kept them to herself, too.

  So, we just told Nin to be careful and let him go.

  He followed along the edge of the trees until he was level with the ruins of our house, then he quickly crossed the open meadow and disappeared from our view.

  Glancing over at Yuki, I saw that she was upset.

  “He’s right, you know. We have to get used to this situation. Hiding ourselves won’t do.” I said.

  “Of course I do. It’s just that I am not yet familiar with all this.” She paused and then looked down at Alice.

  “We will have to learn afresh how to move about, right? I mean, we’ll never again be able to walk around as carefree as we did only weeks ago.”

  Her voice changed pitch and she had trouble breathing evenly. And as I reached over and squeezed her hand, she whispered. “Now we’ll always have to check and double-check that we are not being followed, that we are not in danger, that we are safe!”

  Overcome with emotions she stopped and Alice looked at me alarmed, uncertain what to do or say. I just wrapped my arms around Yuki.

  “I know, this already occurred to me too, Yuki. Not a pleasant thought. But we’ll get used to it, I am sure. We simply have to. By the way, Alice,” I fixed her with a serious look because she needed to understand the importance of this. “Yuki is right. From now on we’ll have to be very careful how we move about, we’ll need to be as silent as possible. So, no jumping or running around just so. Or shouting or things like that. It’s too dangerous. Okay?”

  Alice first looked as if she were about to cry but then she made a brave effort not to, nodded and whispered. “I am scared, Lia, I want Mum and Nate!”

  “So do I, Alice, tiger darling. I wish I could undo the past. Not a day passes without me wishing for the world to be like it used to be. But it doesn’t; and we have to learn how to deal with it, just like Nin said. And we have to find our way to Mum and Nate. They can’t come here, we have to go and meet them. It scares me, Alice, just as it does you, but we have to make an effort. After all, that’s our only option. And once Josh and his friends will arrive, we’ll definitely make it.”

  I wasn’t fooling anyone here. They both knew that I was trying to reassure them as well as myself, but it still felt good.

  Yes, we were alone and just the four of us, but we’d make it. We weren’t idiots, we could do this! Just let Josh and his friends get here, and soon, please! Then we’ll be alright!

  Alice looked a bit better and Yuki, too, seemed relieved; something I had said seemed to have quelled her fears, at least for now.

  And as if on cue, Nin reappeared from across the meadow. He walked toward us openly now, making no effort to remain under cover!

  Was he mad!

  He looked excited and way before he reached us, he shouted. “Everything still works. The solar panels are intact. And the water-pipe, too! They are all still there. We are so lucky.”

  He’d reached us now and sat down beside us, kissing Yuki who reached out for him and grabbing Alice up in his arms at the same time.

  “It’s incredible. We’ve been so lucky. None of the bombs hit the plant nursery behind our house and its barns. Our solar panels are on top of that barn. And we collect rainwater from there; our external water pipe is connected to the drainage of
the garden shops barns. I opened the funnels; with the next rain our water tanks will start filling up. I didn’t expect to find things in such good shape, we have been really, really lucky indeed! Some of the panels are a bit damaged, but most of them are perfectly okay! I am so relieved! We would have been really in trouble otherwise. But now, we’ll be alright with lights and electricity plus water, no problem there! We will be able to camp it out in the sub-basement for quite some time before we run into trouble in this respect.

  He looked at us and laughed. “And what have you been doing? Just sitting here? … Let’s move, shall we? Let’s have a bit of a look around.” His excitement and good mood caught on. We all were suddenly anxious to do something. And I felt a bit silly for what I had thought and said earlier, no matter how true it had been.

  But I still cautioned the others. “We shouldn’t leave the cover of the trees, if you ask me. But we could walk through the grove over to the farm house. I could show you where I slept and we could scout for some apples or fresh eggs.”

  “Sounds good to me!” Nin answered while getting up. “We’ll just have to make sure the entrance of our tunnel is well hidden. Let’s get some branches, help me!”

  We covered the entrance to the tunnel with dead branches and were careful not to leave any fresh footprints.

  We would have to move about in this fashion from now onwards. Making sure we’d leave no traces while looking out for any possible danger around us. It wouldn’t be easy to get used to this.

  The walk did us all very good.

  I relaxed a bit and felt less threatened by our surroundings. I wouldn’t forget to be vigilant, not ever; but I relaxed.

  And Yuki, too, looked more herself now. She walked ahead with Nin, they were holding hands and talking to themselves. Alice jumped around and ran back and forth between the three of us. When we reached the edge of the grove we moved on in a more cautious way. Nin ahead, then everyone following him in single file, I bringing up the rear.

  But we needn’t have worried. We never saw anyone or anything.

  I showed them the barn and the farm house. Everything was as I had left it.

  We had a look around, found a basket in the kitchen of the farm house and filled it with apples. Alice and I went to see whether we might find some eggs. The chicken hadn’t ventured far. When the farm people had left, they had left the door to the chicken coop open; now the chicken could wander in and out as they pleased and they obviously preferred to stay in their coop overnight. We found the eggs, no problem, and we took six with us, all the while the hens were eyeing us from a safe distance, clucking excitedly.

  The sun was ready to set when we came back through the grove to the entrance of our tunnel. It felt almost like a normal late spring evening. Almost.

  We all took one last look at the world outside, then we quickly entered the tunnel, Nin carefully closed and locked the door and we went indoors, into the safety of our sub-basement.

  The air smelt stale compared to the fresh April scenery we’d left behind. But it also felt good to be back indoors, back in safety. To be able to sleep in a shelter without having to bother to check all the time for possible dangers was a luxury I appreciated now more than anything else. And we were able to talk as loud as we liked! No fear of being overheard and found out down here. What a relief! We’d now gotten an inkling of what would await us once we’d start the journey southward, and I for one relished the shelter and the protection the sub-basement afforded us.

  This was a priceless luxury in this strange new world.

  Dinner was delicious. Fried eggs with bread and butter; and some apples for dessert. Simple but absolutely delicious.

  That we now had a steady source of eggs with the chicken nearby was a relief. I had already wondered how to supply us with protein. Whether we would have to take up hunting and how we’d possibly go about that.

  Nin and I had been taught how to shoot, yes, of course. But I for one had never shot any living being. And though Yuki was a master with her bow and arrows, she hadn’t actually hunted with it either. We would have to learn how to hunt, and soon, but if we could delay this just a bit by getting eggs. So much the better.

  Was it due to the fresh air, the walk outside, the food? Whatever the reason, we were really perky after dinner and didn’t feel like settling down at all. Nin suggested that we might check out the state of the bomb shelter and we all enthusiastically agreed.

  This time Nin let me open the door and Alice and I ventured into the bomb shelter first.

  It, too, was totally intact! Everything was in its place and even the door that led out into the house could be opened. But on the other side we saw just one big heap of rubble, no way we could enter the remains of our house from here.

  This soured our good mood a bit; but only a little because to find all our carefully chosen possessions still intact and whole was such a great relief!

  We would be able to pack whatever we thought necessary for our journey southward.

  We didn’t stay up there for long; it was enough to know that everything was alright here.

  “Wow, what a day!” Nin exclaimed after we had returned to the sub-basement and carefully locked the door. “I am already looking forward to tomorrow. I mean to check out the house and then scout out the surroundings. What about you?”

  Yuki looked a bit reluctant, she seemed very tired. But Alice and I heartily agreed with Nin. It would be wonderful to go outside again. And I was confident that Yuki would look better after a good night’s sleep.

  “When do you think that we can expect Josh and his friends to get here?” Yuki suddenly asked.

  Nin shot me a glance and when I didn’t volunteer an answer, he answered Yuki, “Josh said to expect them toward end of May. That would mean in about five to six weeks.”

  “This seems like an awful long time, don’t you think Lia?” Yuki inquired.

  I look her over carefully before answering, uncertain what she was aiming at. “Yes, it does. I wish and hope that they will come sooner. But I guess, all we can do is wait.”

  I was careful not to reveal too much. I wasn’t ready, not yet. First I needed to come to terms with my own feelings and anxieties, only afterwards would I be willing to share them with Yuki or Nin, no matter how dear to me they were.

  But Yuki wasn’t going to let me off the hook so easily. “I know that it must be very difficult for you, Lia. This waiting, not knowing what to expect, I mean.”

  I glared at her, but she ignored me. “And I am sorry to bring this up, but have any of you thought about how long we can afford to wait for Josh and his friends, before we will have to decide to get going without them?”

  She wouldn’t’! Not yet!!

  “I did.” Nin replied, voice sober and carefully neutral. “I think we can afford to wait way into June. I am planning to sneak down to the airport soon. I want to check out the state of the planes down there. If we could find one big enough to carry us a respectable distance on a full tank, hopefully all across the Mediterranean and way down toward Kenya that would be super.”

  “Do we really have to talk about this now?” I couldn’t keep the anger out of my voice and I instantly felt sorry; but it really was more than I could take just now.

  “I’m sorry, Lia!” Yuki whispered.

  “I understand your question.” I hastened to reply. “It’s just that I don’t want to contemplate the possibility that Josh might not make it to us. Not just yet. Let me be hopeful for a while! I need to be hopeful; otherwise I don’t know how to go on.”

  Alice came over to me and gave me a big hug; I loved her so dearly, my little, brave sister trying to comfort me. I held her tight.

  “It’s okay, Lia, I understand. We all understand.” Nin bent forward and gently squeezed my hand. “We’ll not mention it anymore. And, I am certain that Josh will make it, I haven’t the least doubt about this.”

  “Thanks!” I whispered, quite overwhelmed. “Thanks to you all. I am so glad that
we are in this together. And I really appreciate your support and love, more than I can express. It’s just very difficult for me. Coming home, finding that Josh loves me, having one day of blissful happiness, then being cut off from him and not knowing whether and when I will ever see him again. It seems almost cruel. Like I had been granted a glance at utter happiness only to find it being ripped away from me too soon. I’ll be okay. I will. It’s just difficult for now.”

  They all looked sympathetically at me but refrained from replying anything.

  Which was grateful for.

  We lounged around on the sofas for a while, but the atmosphere had changed, everyone was gloomy and withdrawn.

  When shortly afterwards Alice and I decided to call it a day and went to prepare for bed, Nin and Yuki stayed in the front room. They needed some time alone.

  So, we said goodbye and went to sleep.

  Alice made a bit of a fuss with putting Piglet and Malinda to bed, telling them a long story about our outing and promising them to take them along next time, because, as she informed me, they were both “pretty much very pissed off” at having been left behind. Her droll explanation made me chuckle despite myself. Hugging her tight, we settled down, talked about this and that for a while and eventually fell asleep. I don’t know who nodded off first.

  Chapter 16 – our plane

  Friday, 22nd April 2072

  When I woke up next morning I knew that I had dreamt something nice, happy but I couldn’t remember any details; there was just this feeling of happiness lingering inside.

  That I couldn’t remember the dream didn’t matter; that feeling of happiness was enough. It would help me face another day.

  Alice was still asleep and Yuki and Nin had already left the room. I wasn’t in the mood to face them just yet. Let the day with all its activities and difficult decisions wait a bit. I needed time to think.

  About nothing in particular. It was more a matter of sorting through my feelings and thoughts. Like the implications of everything that had happened lately and where we stood.