Gods and Frogs, Oh My!

by Crymsyn Hart

  “Kalli?” His voice was harsh. He might have been a sun god, but it seemed the kind of fire that was in the place was not an attribute of his. Then again the magickal chains had rendered him powerless, so he was nothing more than human.

  “Lugh, oh God. What has he done to you?”

  “You should go. If he catches you, he will come. He wants Excalibur. You can’t give it to him! Please, get out of here. Don’t worry about me. Protect the sword. If he—”

  Kalliope couldn’t stand his suffering and threw her arms around his neck. “I know, love, I know. Shh. Save your strength. Lugh, I’m so sorry about—”

  “No, Kalliope. No apologies. I wish I could see you. These chains prevent any magick—”

  She didn’t wait to hear more. She kissed his. His lips were cracked and dry under hers. Deep down she wanted them to be soft again. She wanted him to feel how much she loved him. How sorry she was for everything that she had said to him when she threw his heart back at him. Energy gathered above her heart. It worked its way up her throat and over her lips, touching his. The warmth that flowed out of her made him press against her more as if he was swallowing her power. When she finally pulled away, she was left lightheaded. She studied Lugh. All the bruises, burns, and the cut on the lip were gone. He was the perfection that he always was.

  He looked up, still not able to see her, but Kalliope sensed that he knew where she was in front of him. His smile brightened her world. “Kalli, thank you.” She smiled and felt that she was growing heavy. It seemed that her body was pulling her back. She heard someone calling her name in the distance. She fought to stay where she was for just a few more precious seconds.

  “I’ll be back. I swear. I’ll figure all of this out.”

  “I know. Now, go before he finds you!”

  She was about to say something and give into the voice that was calling her back, but someone grabbed her arm. Pain seared through her. Fingers wrapped around her upper arm melting into her flesh. She screamed and was amazed to see Hephaestus could see her and touch her. The agony of this touch burned through her even though she kept hearing her name being screamed in the background. Constance was trying to wake her up, but she was not able to get away from the fire god.

  “Well, well what do we have here? The little witch has discovered where her lover is. I’m a little surprised you found him. I underestimated the bond between you. I will not do it again!” the forger said.

  “But how can you see me?” she blurted out.

  The god smiled which only seemed to make his appearance less appealing. “This is my domain. I can see whoever comes here either in spirit or flesh. If you were truly human, you’d be a ghost and my hand would pass right through you. I do get the occasional pagan or dreamer that loses their way. I think they assume that this is Hell. I give them quite a show. But you, you’re not so much human anymore as you once were. You’ve become a bit more than human. Not really a god, but maybe something similar to a fairy. Any Fey that come here never find their way back. If you have any kind of magick in you, I know about it. You see, I was kicked out of Olympus because of my looks. My own mother thought me too ugly so she condemned me to this place. I made provisions of my own. I made it so I would always know who was entering my domain. I knew once you appeared here. I’m not stupid. I just couldn’t pinpoint you until you used your powers and quite a show of them you did too. My chains make any magick impossible. How you got by them is interesting. I’m sure I’ll learn all your secrets in time. You’re almost more beautiful than my wife. Did you happen to see her?” The god asked with a cruel smile.

  The fire of his grip has stopped. The pain still lingered and made her head a little blurry. In the back of her mind, she could hear Constance screaming for her to wake up. The god had not said anything about Humph. Hopefully he had not sensed her familiar. She swallowed and looked around the room. The frog hovered behind the pillar where Lugh was tied up.

  Hang in there, Kalliope. I’ll go get Constance. And in an instant, the frog was gone.

  “I asked did you see my wife?” the god asked again. The fire was back on her arm and melting her flesh again. His grip brought her to her knees in front of him. She saw Lugh struggling to get out of his chains as her cries of pain filled the hall, touching every dark corner of it.

  “Let her go!” Lugh screamed.

  “And you’ll do what to me? You can’t get through those chains or you would have already done so.”

  Blackness threatened to overtake her. Before it could swallow her up, the god stopped. “Answer me witch! Where is Aphrodite? She should have been back by now!”

  Kalliope licked her lips, which were now dry and parched. Her whole body felt all shriveled and withered. She understood why the god compared it to Hell. She wondered if Humph was going to get to Constance in time. Something cool and soothing washed over her body. It gave her a little strength to counter the god with. The bolster was enough to fight him, rise from her knees, and face the god eye to eye. She felt something of her old self. The power that flooded her she was sure was borrowed from Constance. She had to get back to her body before Hephaestus did something that would harm her for all time.

  “Your wife was a little unlucky. Thanks to your chains she’ll be my prisoner forever.” On instinct her other hand went to her side and closed on her sword hilt. She pulled Excalibur out of the sheath. A silver brightness filled the dark hall. It blinded the god enough that he used his other hand to shield his eyes, but he didn’t relinquish his grip on her. Momentum and instinct made Kalliope bring the blade down on the hand that kept her prisoner.

  Once the blade severed his flesh from his bone, his hand fell to the floor and turned to a pile of ash. The god screamed. He held his wounded hand while trying to keep his eyes shielded from the glare of the sword. The god disappeared, retreating to heal. Kalliope took the chance and went to Lugh. She held the sword in both hands and brought it down on the chains binding him. She felt metal hitting metal and a spark came from the meeting of the two. The vibration of it went up her arm. Part of her was starting to fade from being pulled back to her body.

  “Kalliope, it’s no use,” Lugh said to her.

  She came around front and saw the sadness in his eyes. “I’ll be back. I promise.” She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. Their mouths met in a split second. Sweet passion filled her being because she was reunited with him. In those fleeting milliseconds, she knew that he loved her no matter what had happened in the past. The rest of her was fading. The hall started to disappear around her.

  “I love you,” Lugh whispered. Before she could answer him, she felt a sharp tug. Within a breath’s time, she felt her body. It was heavy and cold. Her heart beat slower than it should have been. She was barely breathing. When she settled back into her flesh, she sat upright and took in a deep breath. She opened her eyes and saw Constance’s worried look. The wrinkles on her aunt’s face had been deepened. It appeared that she had aged twenty years in the time span that she had been gone. Humphrey was perched on the dresser watching the whole scene. Her aunt’s hands wrapped around her neck and she drew her into a huge hug.

  “Thank the gods you’re back. I was so worried.”

  She didn’t have any time to think as all the feeling came back to her body. Her stomach turned over. She broke from her aunt’s embrace and raced to the bathroom where she lost any pie that she had eaten. Her teeth wouldn’t stop chattering. Constance came in and handed her a washcloth and then led her back to bed. Kalliope sat on the edge of it. Her aunt pulled back the material of her sleeve and revealed a meaty hand print that had been branded into her flesh.

  “What happened to me? Why do I feel this way?”

  “You used a lot of your power, dear. I suspect this was your first astral projection, right?”

  She nodded. “I wasn’t planning on it, but I had Lugh on my mind. After what you said I guess I just went to him.”

  The ghost snapped her fingers and a bowl, bandages, a
nd first aid gear appeared on the bed next to her. She used that to clean and dress the burn. “Didn’t I tell you that love is a powerful bond? Your familiar said you healed Lugh even with the chains that prevent magick. You used great power and since you were not used to projection it drained you faster, and the wound… You’ll have this for the rest of your days I’m afraid. Now tell me what happened to you?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Hephaestus! I should have known. He’s always had a complex. More so than the other gods. He hated Hera for throwing him out of Olympus.” Morgaine was now pacing in her living room. Kalliope felt it was better to call her instead of having to tell her story twice to Constance and the sorceress. The ghost was serving all three of them another slice of pie. Kalliope thought she wasn’t hungry after her ordeal, but once she smelled the melting ice cream on the pie her stomach growled. She was ravenous. She only wished that her refrigerator was back in its self stocking order. Now she understood that because Lugh was bound, he could not use magick to keep her cabinets full.

  “Yeah well, at least we know it wasn’t Lugh that told me he wanted nothing to do with me or that came to get Excalibur from you.”

  “It’s a shame. I never thought Apollo would betray Lugh. They’ve been friends since they were tiny solar flares together. Now Aphrodite I can totally see. She’s always been queen bitch and wanted to rule the universe. Just because she’s the goddess of love she thinks that everyone will bow down and kiss her feet. So, what are we going to do?”

  Kalliope sat back in her chair and contemplated it. She had been in the hall for several hours. From her calculations she had about thirty-six hours left to get the job done and the Haleys back in the Underworld before All Hail was going to spill the beans to the human population. She had to hurry. She chewed on a slice of apple that was not cooked all the way and swallowed. An idea popped in her head.

  “Morgaine, the Furies have a weakness for cheesecake, right?”

  “Yeah, but you can’t go out to the local bakery and get a cheesecake. They’ll know something’s up. They’re not stupid. They might be hicks, but they weren’t born yesterday. They would want something completely otherworld—” A smiled spread on the sorceress’ lips when she picked up on Kalliope’s train of thought. “You’re brilliant.”

  “Thanks. I need you to find the Furies for me. Trick them into thinking you’re sick of being exiled to Avalon and you want to join them to take over the world. Make up something.”

  “They’re not going to fall for that.”

  “They will if I get the cheesecake and send it to you.”

  “Why can’t you go to them?”

  “They tried to get Theresa, remember?”

  “They know that you’re friends with Morgaine though,” Constance chimed in.

  “Yeah, but she can tell them it was all part of Apollo’s plan to get me on your side so you could betray me. Whatever. Play it up. Now, where is there some kind of otherworldly poker match?”

  The sorceress rolled her eyes. “Go through the door and you’ll be there. But be careful. You could lose your butt.”

  “Kalliope, you were never really good at cards. Maybe—”

  She got up and Humphrey flapped behind her. “There is no time. I have to go. No matter what. I won’t let anything else happen to Lugh.” Her aunt nodded.

  Morgaine smiled. “I’ll send you a sign when I’ve got them. It’s going to take more than me convincing them I’ve come over to the dark side to get them in chains. I hope the cheesecake works.”

  “It will. I’ll get the chains from Avalon.” Kalliope she walked through the door.

  On the other side, she was met with a bright glare. When she looked up, there were tons of lights all illuminating a large table in the middle of a white room. All the chairs were the folding metal kind that she would see at any flea market table. She would have assumed that at an otherworldly poker match they would at least have comfortable chairs. Around the table were a cast of characters that only could make her wonder. The one that she was looking for was nowhere to be found.

  There were no other people, beings, or chairs so she started to walk to the table. Once she got about ten feet from it, a very large, well-built man appeared out of nowhere with his arms crossed over his chest. His arms were the size of small trees and he towered ten feet. He had a crew cut black hair, wore sunglasses, and a leather jacket which was over a black shirt that stretched over a muscular chest that even a washboard would envy. He even had an earpiece in his ear. He stuck out a hand that stopped her in her tracks.

  “No mortals allowed.” His voice was a deep baritone.

  Play ceased at the table. The other beings stopped and looked at Kalliope. She leaned around him, smiled, and waved. What she saw at the table was enough to stop her heart. There were four beings around the table with room for a lot more. One of the figures had the dark head of a large dog or a jackal. The more Kalliope looked at him, the more she realized that he looked familiar. The being must have sensed her eyes on him and turned its head to look more intently at her. It had gold and amber eyes. It smiled to reveal long, sharp teeth. She returned the gesture weakly. After a moment of silence and referral among the creatures, one of them got up. She felt a surge of heat move through her. She wondered if she was still having affects from the lust arrow because she would have jumped him in a heartbeat. He was tall, dark, built, clean-shaven, and dressed in tight leather pants. Long, black hair pulled back in a ponytail. Gold earring in his ear and a smile and walk so smooth it could turn her heart into melted chocolate. Sweat beaded on her brow. She absently wiped it away, hoping he wouldn’t notice. Something about him was suave. He seemed to be a poster boy for anything she could dream of.

  “What do you have here?” the man asked the bouncer. There was a lilt to his voice that made her want to fall under his spell.

  “She is intruding on your game, sir. No mortals allowed,” the bouncer spoke again.

  The man did a once over on Kalliope. Even though she thought she was immune to the lure of all the gods magick, something about him made her want to bite into him. If she did that then she knew she would enjoy a sensation as close to having an orgasm as she could without actually having one. She wanted to bury her face in his chest and see if he tasted of vanilla and cinnamon. Just the way he smelled.

  Get a grip on yourself, Kalliope. You’re not on the market. She chided herself for such horrible thoughts. But she couldn’t help it.

  Finally he said something to the bouncer who nodded, gave her a dirty look, and then poofed. Kalliope stared at the other god and the smile on his face.

  “What brings you here, lovely lady?” His voice was smooth, creamy chocolate that made her want to eat him up. She could picture her tongue lapping whipped cream from his chest. Her tongue would start at his Adam’s apple, then slowly lick between his pecs and down his stomach, lovingly to— She shook her head at her thoughts. There was nothing she could do because she was in love with Lugh. But oh boy!

  “I…I—” Kalliope swallowed. Finally, she found her voice. “I’m here looking for someone. Maybe you can help?” She studied the other two characters at the table. One of them had the upper half of an elephant, with a hand of cards in front of it. Another was a creature that reminded Kalliope of a Chinese dragon. Smoke puffed out of his nostrils. His red eyes bored into hers. None of the creatures resembled a round plain cheesecake. She was royally screwed.

  “Who are you looking for? Some kind of cheesecake perhaps? Another frog to go with your familiar?” the dark god asked. He snapped and a frog appeared in mid-air that was the same size as Humphrey with big, luscious, cherry red lips and long eyelashes.

  Humphrey’s mouth dropped open. The other frog batted her eyelashes. The frog jerked her head and signaled for her to follow him. He looked at her, and she smiled and nodded at the frog for him to go. They both flapped off together.

  “How did you know I needed cheesecake?” Kalliope asked.


  The god leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I know a little bit about everything, Kalliope. I know that you prefer peanut butter cup cheesecake with Oreo cookies crushed on top of it instead of chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake. There are hundreds of types of cheesecake in the world. Millions of men and women are brought together under one roof to celebrate the glorious art form of cheesecake. When it comes to that particular desert, I know everything there is to know.”

  This couldn’t be, could it? “I see you’re playing poker. I was reading this book written by the Almighty Cheesecake. I hear he’s a pretty good player. You know where I can find him? I think he can teach me some pointers.” Kalliope smiled sweetly and tried not to be put under the god’s spell again. It was hard to fight his intoxicating power. He was right, that was her favorite cheesecake.

  “Kalliope, I’m not what you think I should be. No plastic nose like Mr. Potato Head or removable ears either. And the Almighty Cheesecake is just a nickname the other gods gave me because I have such an effect on women. My real name is David. To put those harpies back in the Underworld, I’ll give you whatever cheesecake you want. But you have to do something for me.”

  “What is that?”

  “You have savored cheesecake before while the fork slides over your lips because part of you worships the dessert of your choice. Let me taste those lovely lips of yours. One sweet kiss and you can have whatever kind of cheesecake that you want. I’ll make it special.”

  Cheesecake was a delicacy for some and a sweet indulgence for others. She didn’t want to betray Lugh, but he would understand that she was doing it to save the universe. Her face burned. She nodded. “Okay.” She leaned, gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and then pulled away.

  “David, are you coming back to play?” The jackal growled.

  The other god turned to the players at the poker table. “Give me a minute, Jack. Gees. I can’t ignore a beautiful woman. Give me a minute and deal me out.”