Giving it Up (Brewhouse #1)

by Holly Dodd

  I slung my arm around Becca and gave her a squeeze. We didn’t run in the same circles outside of work, but at the Old Fashioned she was my BFF. I wouldn’t wish slow work nights on my worst enemy. When there weren’t enough people to sit, and wait on, the nights dragged. The only thing to do was clean, and I was glad I wouldn’t be the one forced to buff the wood. There was a lot of wood in the restaurant, and polishing it was a mind-numbing task.

  “Keep warm.” Becca bent over me to give me a one-armed squeeze. She was a damn amazon made taller by the huge bun coiled on top of her head. I had hair envy. When she let her hair down it swung to her ass.

  “I have to get home first. I’ll be freezing my girlie balls off the whole way.” Winding my scarf around my face and neck, I sighed and looked out at the flurries cartwheeling through the air. Dreary. So. Damn. Dreary. I was tired of steel-gray skies pregnant with snow and arctic weather. The streets outside were Tundra-fied, and I would wind up ice skating to my destination. The only boon: there was a bus stop right outside the doors. And after wards, there was Kevin. He would be keeping me warm.

  The clock mocked me as I tossed a glance at it. I had a few more minutes before the four-thirty bus arrived. If I wasn’t standing outside the driver would likely skip the stop. I wasn’t looking forward to waiting in the cold, freezing my tits off, but if I wanted to see Kevin I needed to get my ass in gear.

  Kevin. All day my thoughts had circled him. Damn the man. His visit knotted me up and twisted me around. Stopping by, and visiting during work, was such a boyfriend thing to do.

  I halted that train of thought. He was emphatically not my boyfriend. Nor would I want him to be even if there was a mutual interest. I wanted Regi. I was just using Kevin. He was using me. It was symbiotic in a way, and exactly what I’d wanted when I asked him for this.

  Lord, was I lying to myself or what? The little kick in my chest when he looked at me, as if I was the only woman in his world, proved I was on shaky ground, and sinking fast. I knew I shouldn’t be continuing with this stupid plan, but now that I’d had a taste I didn’t want to stop. I just had to make sure Kevin never found out I was wishing, deep down in that secret place where wishes were nurtured, for more.

  It had taken hours after he’d left for me to be able to concentrate again. Luckily, I could wait tables on auto pilot, because I had been a wreck. Even now I was still thrumming with pleasure over his unexpected visit. Nervous excitement burst through my body, and lodged in my stomach in a tingling knot.

  Was he finally going to finally divest me of this hymen problem of mine? Lord, I hoped so. I was ready.

  Hovering between the interior and exterior doors of the Old Fashioned, I attempted to calm my racing heart and wayward thoughts. I didn’t want to daydream and miss my ride. It wasn’t long until I caught sight of the LCD lights gleaming at the far end of the road as the bus turned onto North Pickney St. I dashed outside, the cold sucking my breath away, and skated to the curb.

  Only I wasn’t prepared for what, or rather who, waited for me across the street. Haloed beneath a light, the halogen turning his snow-dusted hair icy white, was Kevin. He leaned against the salt-coated hood of his Toyota. One knee was propped up, his sole resting against the grill in a pose that screamed false relaxation. The engine was on, and the exhaust pipe puffed steam onto the frozen asphalt.

  He saw me and grinned, tossing a casual wave with his gloved hand.

  The ache in my chest turned into a python, coiling around my heart and threatening to choke out all the truths I thought I’d known, and replacing it with promises I was too scared to explore.

  He kept grinning at me as I waved at the metro driver, confident that I would take him up on his silent offer of a ride. Damn man. I was salivating at the thought of being alone with him in his car. The bus pulled away with a squeak of breaks, and left only the hush of an urban winter between us.

  I shook my head at him as I crossed the street. The salt trucks had been out, and I could walk somewhat confidently to my waiting chariot.

  “Why are you here,” I blurted. It made no sense to me. I was just a casual hookup. This was just a means to an end. After my sex education was finished we would go back to being just friends. I hoped. Maybe he would move out of my life permanently.

  That notion made my chest hurt even more. I ignored it, stuffing the emotions he invoked in me down deep. Underneath it I knew there would be pain. That knowing Kevin, and being with him, would change me in ways I hadn’t anticipated. But I didn’t want it. Not right now. Not ever.

  Oh yes. I was going to make a great psychologist. Can’t you just taste the sarcasm?

  “Did you really think I was going to let you take the bus if I could offer you a ride?” Kevin pushed off the hood with the grace of a panther, and swaggered towards the passenger side. “Hop in, it’s fucking cold out here.”

  I gaped at him, wondering if he’d taken leave of his senses, or if he was this nice to all his one-week stands. I wasn’t really a one-nighter. Not yet, at least. Then the cold became unbearable, clawing through the numerous layers struggling to keep me warm. I scurried around to the open door and jumped inside.

  Lord, it was warm. So much warmer and more comfortable than the bus would have been. I all but purred as the cold melted away.

  The whole car shook as Kevin dropped behind the wheel. “Fuck, I can’t wait until summer.” He kicked the heater up. The sudden burst of warm air immediately fogged the windows. I sighed with simple satisfaction and stretched my hands to the vents. Even through my mittens my fingers were icicles.

  Kevin angled his body towards me, slinging his arm over the back of my seat, and turning the small car into a sardine can. If he moved any closer he’d be on top of me. My pussy tightened at the wayward thought. The sudden arousal brought the image of being fucked by Kevin in this very car to the forefront. That would be one way to stay warm.

  His fingers curled a lock of hair around his finger, giving it a little tug that sent fiery chills prickling down my spine. “There is a toll before we head out. I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes.”

  I quivered, caught in the spotlight of his smoky green eyes. “A toll?” Was that my voice? Lord, it was husky. “What if I don’t want to pay it.”

  Kevin pushed a button on his door. The click of the automatic locks triggering boomed in the small space. I was trapped, alone with a man who made my heart race and cunt ache. I was snared on his eyes as his head lowered, breathing his words all over me in a promise. “You don’t have a choice.”

  The shudder trembling through my body had nothing to do with the cold, and everything to do with my awareness of him. “Kevin,” I whimpered. My lips were burning and he hadn’t even touched me yet.

  His head dipped. “Kiss me, kitten.”

  I caught his cheek, stroking his beard with my mittens. The question was on the tip of my tongue, and I had no control of it. “Why did you come?” I didn’t mean just now, either. But earlier. He was shattering all my preconceived notions. Pushing against boundaries I hadn’t known were there.

  His cold nose pressed to mine in a true Eskimo kiss. “I wanted to see you.”

  “Did you miss me, Mr. Harris?” I couldn’t help but tease him, even if the seriousness of my question turned my voice wispy.

  “Yes.” His answer was so succinct, and so perfect, that I closed the distance between us. One moment I was inhaling his breath, the other I was devouring his lips.

  Lord, I had missed him too. He’d rocked my world on Thursday, and I’d gone home to my bed. Alone. The satisfaction he’d wrought lasting only as long as it’d taken me to get inside my apartment. Then my need had flared again, fueled by the idea of what my second lesson would be like, and when it would begin.

  Everything inside of me clenched, hungry for the sensations Kevin mastered. His hand wound into my hair, his apparent favorite place to roost while kissing me. Mine were locked on his shoulders, sliding toward his nape as I mashed my body into his.
His tongue played with mine, plying open my lips so that he could plunder my mouth. Time ceased to exist as he fucked his mouth with mine. Stealing the sweetness between my cheeks with the vulgar in-and-out of his too-skilled tongue. Reminding me of all the filthy plans he had for me.

  Wiggling closer, the sharp pressure of the gearshift grinding into my thigh stopped me from climbing into his lap. I moaned into his mouth, finally breaking the kiss.

  His forehead nestled against mine, blending the long strands of his honeyed hair with mine. “We need to get you some clothing, and then you’re mine for the next thirty hours or so.”

  “You sound as if you have it all planned out.” I couldn’t help the nervous tickle in my stomach. Staying over at his house, sleeping in his bed, was so intimate. But so was giving him my V-card.

  I liked that he wanted to keep me close afterward. Honestly, when I’d approached Kevin to pop my cherry I thought it would be one quick, tawdry night. All his efforts exceeded my expectations.

  Kevin’s hand caressed my cheek, his leather gloves velvety soft over my skin. “I want this to be memorable for you, kitten. When you look back and think of this, I want you to smile.”

  I blinked away from his searching stare. It sounded as if he was already saying goodbye. My traitorous heart seized up, causing my eyes to sting.

  Regi. I am doing this for Regi.

  Why was it getting hard to remind myself of that?

  “You’ll need to let me go if you want to drive,” I whispered.

  His palm stroked over my hair, smoothing a flyaway strand behind my ear before he settled into the driver’s seat.

  The winter scenery blurred past, peppered with a few Christmas lights still strung in trees. I watched the twinkling colors as Kevin navigated towards Eagle Heights. It was a quick commute by car. If I’d been riding the bus it would have been twice as long.

  He pulled into a parking spot outside of my building. Even though it was dark, the car’s interior lit only by the reflection of lights from the upper apartments, I didn’t miss the grimace creasing his face as he glanced up at the snow-capped terraces. I was on the second floor, and while you couldn’t see my apartment from this position, they all looked alike.

  I didn’t need to be psychic to know who he was thinking about. What the hell had Angela done to him after they parted company? “She’s not home, she’s working.”

  He offered me a guilty chuckle. “Am I that transparent?”

  “As glass,” I laughed. Bracing myself for a quick dash from the snuggly warmth of the car to the building, I still squealed when the cold wind grabbed me. Kevin jogged behind me, and the two of us bustled through the double doors and into the common area.

  Off-campus apartments came in all types: tall monoliths of steel and glass, short townhouse-esque housing, or an architectural blend of the two. There were only four stories in my apartment building. Angela and I lived on the second. Sometimes the only exercise I got was dashing up-and-down the stairs, which was why I skipped the elevator. While the idea of Kevin and I enclosed in an elevator appealed to me, I didn’t trust myself not to push the emergency stop and have a kinky time. I didn’t stop running until I was on my floor. I was warmer by the time I opened the front door of the apartment and let Kevin in.

  “Do you want a drink, it’ll only take me a minute to grab some clothes.” I kept my jacket and scarf on as I headed into my bedroom. Though I did peek into the bathroom, just to be sure there weren’t any bras or other items drying on the curtain rod. I’d learned that lesson when Ang had brought a guy home and I’d left my bras and undies strung like tinsel across the bathroom.

  Kevin was a step behind me, following me as I hustled into my bedroom. He slung a hip against the door jamb, making everything around him seem so much smaller. He was big. Physically. Sexually. His presence dominated the tiny room.

  “What would you have studied if you hadn’t been into Psychology,” Kevin asked thoughtfully. It would have seemed like a strange question if I didn’t know exactly what he was looking at.

  I flushed, grabbed a duffel from my closet, and glanced around. He was the first guy I’d had in my bedroom. I was neat-ish, but there were still piles of dirty clothes on the floor, stacks of text books, and other college detritus I hadn’t bothered to put away.

  There was also the teeny tiny fact that it looked like a unicorn had barfed on the walls.

  My bedroom, if you ignored the pasty walls and carpeting, could have belonged to a teenager. It was super girlie, mostly because I hadn’t had a classic girl’s bedroom back home. I’d gone from paisley wall paper in a drafty farm house, to the bland uniformity of the dorms.

  Now that Angela and I were in our own apartment, though I couldn’t change the wallpaper, I’d masked it with fabric. Tons, and tons of fabric. Silks. Velvet. Suede. Chiffon. Brocade. Some were small samples, others were larger swatches, mashed together as a quilt and hung like a tapestry. With the copper-wired string lights casting a twinkling, warm glow, the pastel covers of my bed covers, and brightly-painted furniture, it was a chaotic mishmash that I called home. Angela called it an eyesore.

  I paused and ran my fingers over the multi-colored drawers of my vanity. “Maybe an interior decorator.”

  Kevin laughed. “Really?”

  I wrinkled my nose at him over my shoulder. “Yes. This is just everything I ever liked thrown together, but I just love picking out the textiles, and colors and weaving it all together.”

  Kevin walked to my bed and flung himself over it. The sight of him stretched out over the heart-patterned bedspread was ridiculous and sexy. “You sound happy talking about it.”

  Lord, even surrounded by frilly pillows, he oozed masculinity. My heart skipped a beat, and I averted my eyes so that I wouldn’t be tempted to jump his bones. “I am, but I love therapy. I know what I want to do when I’m done.”

  “You never mentioned what you planned on doing. I know there’s the Masters after. Are you getting your doctorate?”

  “Yes. I want my own practice.”

  “What is your specialty.”

  I bit my lip and looked away, busying myself with stuffing a clean change of clothing and undies into my bag. “Sex therapy.”

  I didn’t dare look at his face. It was ridiculous. A virgin wanting to help people with sexual dysfunction.

  I hadn’t heard Kevin move until his hands clamped on my hips. I gasped as he pulled me back, fitting the curve of my ass into his groin. “What a dirty little girl, kitten. You want to sit and get off to all of your patients telling you their twisted fantasies.”

  His breath caressed my ear, a torrid, promise-filled wave that left a riot of shivers behind. “That isn’t…”

  Kevin punctuated my stutter with a flick of his tongue. He traced my earlobe, and left me moaning. “Maybe I should tell you one of my fantasies, doc. Would you like that?”

  Oh, Lord.

  My mind was screaming no. But my mouth was Kevin’s. He possessed me, and left me quivering in his arms.

  I gasped. I wanted to know how his mind worked. Every raunchy thought. “Yes. Tell me.”

  Twelve

  Kevin

  “I wanted to bend you over the kitchen table the first day I met you,” I confessed. “I know I’m a dick-head for fantasizing about it. If we’d met under any other circumstances, you wouldn’t be a virgin anymore, kitten. You would have been skewered on my cock, creaming for me that first morning.”

  Jo had me burning. My cock was solid as a fucking rock grinding into her ass. That lush, spank-able rear that she was rubbing against me. Her moan told me what I needed to know. I’d read her right. She wanted me too.

  “There’s no one here now,” she whispered. My hands tightened on her hips. I was tempted. I should be deified, become Saint fucking Kevin resisting the urge to throw her down and ravish her.

  “Baby steps,” I taunted her. “You still have to learn how to use your mouth for something other than sass.”

 
; “You’re teasing me and you know it! Dammit, Kevin!” Her frustration was adorable. She squeaked, a li’l kitten mew as she writhed in my clutches.

  “You fucking love it. I can smell how wet you are.” I didn’t lie. The sweet addicting aroma of her arousal thickened the air, overriding the girlish scent of perfume and cosmetics. “Bend over and pull your pants down. Let me see what I do to you.”

  “Oh, Lord,” she moaned. Would she obey?

  I stepped back, giving her room to move. Her bed was rumpled from where I’d laid on it. I wasn’t surprised by how fucking adorable her bedroom was. All shades of pink and turquoise, violet and purples, and a rich smattering of blue. Unicorn puke. Seriously. The only thing missing was glitter. The fabric swatches were a unique twist.

  Jo took a shaky step, peeling herself out of my arms. I immediately noticed the absence of her warmth, and I wanted to drag her back against me. Keep her safe while wrecking her too. Fucked up, I know. I wanted to protect her and destroy her. Tear her down to that submissive core I saw peeking out at me, and then build her right back up again.

  Jo leaned against the edge of her bed, her two-toned hair mussed and sticking to her flushed cheeks. She held my eyes, and inside, reflected at me like a fun-house mirror, was the twin to my own carnal soul. I was damaged. She was flawless. I was the destroyer. She craved being ruined. Together we could be whole.

  I wanted that. I wanted it so damn bad that I fisted my hands to keep from reaching for her again. From falling to my knees and begging her to be mine and to forget about Regi. I bit my inner cheek, silencing the lunacy in my head, and waited for her to obey.

  Jo didn’t disappoint. She was seeped in hesitancy, rolled up onto her tiptoes like a ballerina en pointe. She still wore her uniform, beige chinos and a rather form-fitting t-shirt; chunky shoes and her pink silver foiled puffer jacket.

  Her eyes never left mine as she peeled off the outer layer, mittens and scarf tossed about with the ease of a strip tease. Though she hesitated when she got to her pants. Her hands shook, but she held my eyes as she thumbed the button open. The zipper grinding down cracked like a starting pistol. The muscles in my legs coiled. My arms tensed. Only my willpower kept me still.