Giving it Up (Brewhouse #1)

by Holly Dodd

  I turned to one of the football players that Regi was friendly with. “Have you seen Regi?”

  The guy snickered slightly. His buddy elbowed him in the side. “Yeah he went into the back.”

  “Thanks.”

  Navigating through the aisles, I made my way into the back of the restaurant. There were a few rooms which branched off from either side of the bathrooms. There were a few shut doors, leading to what looked like a utility closet and banquet room. Was Regi in the bathroom? I didn’t want to wait around for him. Loitering around outside of a toilet was just uncomfortable, for me and the people walking out.

  A hushed giggle reached my ears. I turned towards a dark corner, shrouded by a beaded curtain, aside one of the empty party rooms. It was a hostess corner only used when they were parties going on.

  I knew exactly what I would find. Regi had never hidden his adventurous streak. His tales of conquest were legendary. I shook my head and walked to the curtain. Parting the beads, I found Regi leaned up against the wall, his jeans were unzipped, and his dick was pulled through the fly of his boxers. Some girl was on her knees sucking and licking his cock like a swizzle stick. She looked familiar, though I would have sworn I’d never seen her in my life.

  The girl realized I was there a whole lot earlier than Regi did. She popped off his dick with a loud slurp and looked up at me. The smug, bitchy look on her face made me want to roll my eyes. Did she think she was better than me because she was blowing some dude in the backroom of a restaurant? I wondered if Regi even remembered her name. He was just like Kevin. “Can we help you?”

  “Fuck, Jo.” Regi’s voice sounded strangled. He popped off against the wall like a startled Jack in the box. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

  I laughed. “Really? To me it looks like you’re getting a blowie.”

  The girl still hadn’t moved, even though Regi was now trying to pull up his pants. Yes, I looked. I’d crushed on him for a whole year. He had an impressive cock. He had to be about only a tiny bit smaller than Kevin, but his girth was coke-can worthy. I could understand why there were so many girls wanting to get on it. I just wasn’t part of that train anymore.

  I shook my head and waited for the pain. For something. There was only a droll sense of amusement. This was Regi, and like Kevin, he wasn’t going to change.

  I had to stop thinking about Kevin.

  I waved my hand. “It’s fine. I just came looking for you to tell you I didn’t really feel like hanging out with you tonight. And I don’t think we should pursue anything in the future.” He probably thought it was because I caught him with his pants around his ankles, even though it wasn’t true, I didn’t really care.

  “Wait, what?” Regi said.

  “You had a fucking date tonight,” the girl screeched.

  “I’m kind of hung up someone else. You’re…well. You’re not what I’m looking for.” Man. How about irony. He’d all but said the same thing to me months ago.

  Regi succeeded in stuffing his cock back into his pants, but his belt was still unbuckled and a piece of his boxers hung out the mouth of his zipper. He raked a hand through his hair, disheveling the thick curls. “Are you fucking with me?”

  I shook my head. “No. You have…”

  “Licia?” The shocked gasp behind me was one I knew well. So was that name. I turned and found Mia gaping at the sordid tableau before us. Her eyes were enormous, and filled with a mixture of horror and pain.

  “Fuck, Mia.” Regi thumped his head against the wall and let loose a frustrated growl.

  “Hey, Sis,” the girl, Licia, said as she finally stood up with a sigh. She was poured into the tightest black dress I’d ever seen. And that was saying something with how much Angela liked to show off her body. She was pouting, completely put out that we’d interrupted her.

  Wow. This was Mia’s little sister Alicia? I couldn’t believe it. My eyes widened as I glanced at her again. The last time I’d seen her she’d been a gawky teenager with braces. Now she was a gorgeous co-ed giving a guy a blow job in a back room. The slinky material she wore clung to her lean curves. Her hair, a lighter shade then Mia’s raven black, hung poker straight to her ass. It was bouncy too, cheerleader full. But beneath the makeup and the sneer twisting her cock-swollen mouth, I saw shades of the girl she’d been.

  What had happened to her? She’d been so sweet. Now she had all the earmarks of a Grade-A bitch.

  “Your…Mia’s sister?” Regi wheezed. I feared he was going to keel over and have a heart attack. His olive complexion turned pasty.

  Licia planted her hand on her hip. Pushing her tits out, she purred up at him. “Yep, don’t you see the resemblance?”

  Mia choked behind me, the sound of pain one I knew intimately. I’d been making those noises when Kevin broke up with me. There was something going on here, and it took me longer than it should have to figure it out.

  Regi was into Mia. Hardcore. Did she feel the same?

  I turned and found my answer in the tears glistening in her eyes. Her face was ashen and drawn.

  “Oh honey,” I whispered. The impact of what just happened, Mia finding the man she was in love with fucking her sister, hit me with blunt force trauma. My fractured heart shuddered, adding more pain for my best friend. “Let’s go.”

  I grabbed Mia by the arm. She didn’t seem capable of leaving under her own steam. She was just staring at them, her glassy eyes rotating between Licia and Regi. Wrapping my arms around her, I turned her away. I offered some quick thanks that she hadn’t arrived a minute earlier.

  “Mia wait, please.” Regi took a step towards us.

  Mia burst into action and pivoted around. She had Medusa eyes, raging and full of grief and anger. I don’t know how Regi didn’t crumble into a pillar of salt. “Don’t. Just don’t. My little sister? Fucking hell, Regi.”

  Regi flinched and scrubbed at his bearded cheek. “I didn’t know.”

  “Not good enough,” Mia snarled. “And you...” She stabbed a finger toward her sister. Her cheeks mottled with rage, but she swallowed her words. Mia pivoted on her heel and stomped off.

  I followed after her. “I thought you said you were single,” Licia said as I dipped back into the restaurant.

  “It’s complicated,” Regi said.

  Yes. It was really complicated. Oh Lord, and I’d wanted to sleep with him. I didn’t envy Regi. Then again, he’d brought it onto himself. I just hated that Mia had gotten tangled in it.

  I caught up with Mia as she threaded her way through the crowd. She yanked her leather trench coat off the chair. The fury of her movement slapped the sleeve against the table. Silverware, plates, and glasses vibrated as the whole of it rocked. More than a few people were watching the drama. Mia was always so collected, and she was losing it in the middle of a restaurant.

  “Mia please wait.” I plucked at her sleeve, her pain a visceral knife twisting around in my guts. I wanted to help her. Soothe her.

  “I need to be alone, Jo,” Mia said as she stuffed her arms into her jacket. Wetness matted her lashes, mascara made a bandit mask out of her under eyes, and her lower jaw trembled.

  “Are you sure?” When she was upset, she turned into a hermit. This wasn’t unusual, but I always asked. I would drop anything, everything, when Mia needed me.

  “Yes,” she whispered. Her features were pinched, drawn into a grief mask that caused the fragile bones of her face to stand out. “I’ll text you later.”

  Mia all but ran out of the Alehouse, leaving me gazing after her with my heart aching. For her. For myself. I’d been stupid to want to experience the drama of college hook-ups and break-ups first hand. I understood now, but I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyway.

  It only got worse as someone approached me from behind. Someone I hadn’t realized was even around.

  “Are you alright?” Kevin’s voice buffered me, bringing a wave of happiness, and then crushing pain to wash over me.

  No. No I wasn’t.

&nb
sp; Twenty-Four

  Kevin

  “What happened,” I asked. Though I suspected I already knew that answer. Regi being Regi. He was a hedonist, and if he had a chance to nail multiple women at a time, he would.

  “Mia and Regi. I had no idea,” Jo said. The sadness in her voice knifed me. Was she still hung up on him. Fuck, what a cluster this was going to be. I’d pushed her at him, told her to go fuck Regi ‘cause I was done with her. Had she hopped into his bed? The thought sickened me. It would serve me right for all that I’d done if she’d found pleasure elsewhere.

  Jo faced me, her big round eyes illuminated with worry and sorrow. “Did you know?”

  I grimaced. “I suspected. He’s been hung up on her for a while.”

  “Oh.”

  That two-letter word killed me. The hope in my chest that Jo and I could make it work crumbled. I wasn’t what she wanted. I never was. I was just practice for her. Sure, she’d been falling for me, or maybe I’d been delusional. Maybe she’d never felt something that deep for me. She’d just been caught up in the pleasure, and once I took it away, she’d went back to who she truly wanted.

  “She caught him with her sister.”

  Fuck. I’d hoped Mia and Regi would figure their shit out. How were they going to get past that?

  I reached out to touch her hair, but stopped part way. I fisted my hand and let it drop. “Are you okay. I know you’re in love with him.”

  Jo smiled slightly, one half of her vibrant mouth tweaked upwards. “I’m not in love with Regi. I was going to tell him I didn’t want to go out with him. Which was when I found him and Licia. I’d kind of told him I would meet up with him tonight when he asked in class. But, it just felt all wrong.”

  That ache in my chest, the one she’d filled, and then I’d emptied like an asshole when I broke up with her, warmed. I could barely get the words out past the hope. “Why did it feel wrong?”

  Jo stepped towards me, carrying her sweet scent to me. Her smile softened, her eyes losing the haunted quality. It wasn’t just her own pain she was feeling, but sadness for Mia. “I kind of like someone else. Only he doesn’t want me.”

  She sighed tiredly. “Why are you here, Kevin?”

  A raucous wave of noise swarmed over us, bringing me to reality. I didn’t want to have this conversation in a bar with a hundred-people witnessing an intimate moment. “I wanted to talk to you. No, I needed to talk to you. Do you want to get out of here?”

  Hesitancy clung to Jo. I was so sure she was going to say no. But she finally smiled, a slight quirk that brought hope bursting through me. “Yes, okay can we can do that.”

  There was no use denying it. I was in love with this girl and I wanted her to know it.

  I was done running scared.

  Twenty-Five

  Jo

  I was so nervous. The look Kevin gave me right before taking my hand caused the bees in my stomach to flip out. I was giddy and nauseated all at the same time. I was trying not to hope this was him changing his mind, but how could I not? He was looking at me with contrition instead of the derision that he’d thrown at me that afternoon in the alley.

  Once outside, Kevin pulled me into a hug. I tried resisting. He couldn’t just stomp all over my heart, and then come back expecting forgiveness. I couldn’t help it, though. I melted into him, the whole of my body pressed to his: chest to chest, thigh to thigh. The earthy scent of him flooded my head, and I buried my nose against the hollow of his throat. This was right. So perfect. The tears were back, blurring my vision. I buried my face into him, willing him not to break my heart again. Begging him silently to explain away the past four days.

  He propped his chin on top of my head. For a moment, there was only the two of us, lingering in an embrace that spoke the words we couldn’t. At least not yet.

  “I missed you,” he said.

  My hands slipped beneath his jacket and flannel and gripped his sides. He was warm and solid, proof that I wasn’t hallucinating him. “I missed you too. That afternoon at the restaurant. That was cruel.” I swallowed hard.

  My voice dipped into a whisper, begging him for an explanation that would make all the turmoil go away. I needed to know what had happened. Why he’d done that. Why he’d built me up so high, and then kicked the ladder out from beneath me.

  “I know, and I’m so fucking sorry, Jo.” His voice rippled with emotion, and he pulled me tighter as if he was afraid I’d vanish.

  “I don’t forgive you. Not yet. Explain it to me, please.” My heart was beating so fast, threatening to burst from my chest.

  Kevin exhaled deeply, the force of his breath ruffling my hair. His arms tightened, as if he was trying to pull me into him, as if he was afraid I would bolt when I heard what he had to say. “I was scared. Messed up. I had run into Sara, and she decided it was time to talk, time to apologize for not letting me have a say in the baby. I understood her reasoning, but I’d loved her so much, and she did that to me. She asked me if there was anyone I trusted enough to let in that deep again. Then there was you. What I feel for you is more intense then what I’d had with her. I ran. I didn’t want to change, yet I was. You took me by surprise, filled the empty spaces I’d been ignoring for years. I didn’t think I was worthy of you. Or your love. I sacrificed us. I thought you could do better, find someone who wasn’t as unlovable as I am. Who wasn’t fucking broken.”

  The sting of tears burnt the back of my eyes, and I buried my face into his chest. There was one thing I had to know. Needed to know, and I was afraid of the answer. “Di…did you sleep with her?”

  I wasn’t sure he heard me. My voice was muffled by his chest.

  Kevin’s fingers curled beneath my chin, and he was pulling my face up so I could see his eyes. The emotion in them made my knees weak. “No, I didn’t. I left her at the restaurant and never saw her again. There’s been only you, Jo.”

  Should I believe him? Could I? Kevin was a notorious man whore, and he’d looked so cozy with that blonde at the restaurant. I felt myself melting, a wilted flower straining towards the light. This man before me was my sun. He’d become desperately important to me in such a short amount of time. But he’d trampled me, crushed me beneath his heel because he thought that was what was best for me. He didn’t value me enough to talk to me, to figure out our future together.

  “What happens if you get scared again?” I was proud of how strong my voice was, that I’d managed to get the important question out without caving. I wanted this. I wanted him, but I wouldn’t be jerked around. I refused to be toyed with. If this was just a momentary thing for him it would be best if we parted company. Like he’d said long before, he didn’t do relationships. He needed many women to satisfy him. Why was I the one to make him want something more?

  “I did a lot of soul searching this week.” He swallowed hard, and there was a momentary flash of panic in his eyes that left me on edge. Then his words reeled me back. “I also made an appointment to see a therapist. It might not be easy right away, I have a lot of baggage and hurt to work through, not just Sara but my parents too. But I want this. I want you. I’m in love with you Jolene Miller, and while it scares the fuck out of me, I don’t want to live without you in my life.”

  His words stunned me. I felt as if I were floating, the tethers keeping my feet on the ground severed. He was searching my face, trying to read my eyes, my soul. The truth of his words settled deeply, wrapping around my heart and leaving me so full of him that I couldn’t speak. Not for a long time.

  My answer was in cupping his cheeks and pulling him into a deep kiss. One that shook the walls I’d built around my heart the past week, and turned them to dust.

  Love should be easy. It never was, but it should be. He would need to work on earning my trust back again, but we were reaching for the first rung together. “Take me home, Kevin. I need you desperately.”

  Twenty-Six

  Kevin

  I was the luckiest sonuvabitch alive.

  Jo’s apar
tment was closer than mine. I broke more than a few speed laws getting us there. I was a bundle of nerves, praying she didn’t change her mind before we arrived.

  She sat calmly beside me, as serene as a Madonna. I didn’t know how she could forgive me for all I’d done, but I would make it right. I would spend the rest of my life thanking her for giving me another chance.

  I pulled into the parking lot and turn off the engine. The silence around us was still haunted by the pain I’d caused, but I would fix it. I was a tenacious bastard when I put my mind to it, and I wouldn’t stop until Jo trusted me again.

  Cupping her hand, I lifted her mitten-sheathed fingers to my mouth and kissed each one.

  Jo offered me a shy half-smile, but the heat in her eyes was as ravenous as the need pulsing through me. Just a look from my sexy li’l kitten and I was granite hard.

  Four days without Jo was four too many.

  Jo was out of the car before I was even halfway around. Later I would scold her for not letting me open her door, but not right now. She was as excited as I was. Her body quivered.

  Grabbing her hand, we raced into the apartment, reminding me of the first time. Only now we were running into our future together instead of a quick fuck filled with half-truths and lies.

  When we get into her apartment it was Jo who took control. She shoved me into the living room, yanking my jacket off and scarf away in a swirl of wool.

  “I need you,” she whimpered at me.

  “I won’t ever stop you.” Fuck, I couldn’t deny her. All she had to do was stare up at me with her come-hither bedroom eyes and I was done for.

  She didn’t manage to get me to the couch. Instead, she was on her knees. I clenched my teeth. Every muscle in my body was banded in steel. She tossed a sultry smile up at me, seconds before she had my zipper down and cock out.