Jaided

by Rose, Ashley

"Yeah, can you get some of those little baby Gatorades? Those are the shit."

  "Sure thing."

  Outside, the day was crisp and clear, perfect for running, especially if you were a soccer player who thought you were in good physical shape. But by lap 14, or was it 13, the temperature had risen sharply, a trademark of the Exeter Creek School in Yakima, and she wasn’t sure about the laps. Her lungs burned and her legs were numb. She stole a quick glance to her side and saw that Chance seemed to be in the same condition. She really was out of shape. When she used to run with her brother, they would do four miles easy.

  The thought that she was out of shape didn't settle well and she picked up the pace. Only two more laps, maybe three. Chance would tell her when they hit four miles.

  Sure enough, two laps later Chance informed her they had hit four and she slowed to a walk with hands on her hips. They kept moving at a slow walk around the track.

  "Damn Jaide, do you always run like you're running a race?"

  "I'm out of shape. I used to do four miles in no time flat."

  "Well, maybe you were going too fast."

  "I couldn't find a pace. I'm used to running with Tremaine, and his pace is good for me. You didn't seem to have a problem keeping up anyways."

  "Yeah, like I would admit I couldn't keep up with a girl. It doesn't help that it's warming up out here."

  "Yeah, no shit. I was about to take off my shirt."

  Chance frowned. "I hope you're kidding."

  She looked up at him, confused. "Why? Guys take their shirts off all the time during practice and stuff."

  "Guys don't have boobs."

  "Some do, and I'm wearing a sports bra, Chance. It’s less revealing than a swimsuit."

  "So? We aren't swimming."

  She rolled her eyes. "Most guys would have encouraged me to take my shirt off."

  "Not me."

  "Chance, are you gay, too?"

  "What? No! I just have respect for women."

  "Ohhh, I see. And by respect, you mean discouraging me from doing the same thing a guy would do?"

  "Jaide, it's not like that." He sounded earnest.

  She smiled and punched his arm. "I know, I'm just giving you a hard time. You just don't want the other guys to see me, right?"

  "Exactly. There are some pervs at this school."

  "Well, thanks for wanting to look after me."

  He beamed at her. "So how's Blaize doing?"

  "He seems fine. He went to visit Maddy today during what he calls ‘errands'. I could tell."

  "Yeah, but he's been doing pretty well though, don’t you think?"

  "Yeah, he's cool. We seem to talk more. He’s opening up a little."

  Chance nodded. "I had a feeling you were going to break him," he laughed. "He needs someone to open up to. You guys would make a really great couple."

  She gasped and pushed him. "Chance!"

  "What? It's so obvious that he likes you. He's just a little shy, that’s all."

  She smiled and nodded. "Ok, ok. I got a question though, a little random."

  "Shoot."

  "What do you all do for prom around here? There are no girls at all."

  "We and the all girls school on the other side of Yakima city have a little two-day conglomeration to give us time to get a prom date. It's pretty fun actually, because it's so spontaneous. You just ask a girl that you barely know and hope she says yes. They switch locations every year. This year I think it's here, though."

  "Oh, that’s pretty neat."

  "Yep."

  They were at the dorms now, and split to their own rooms.

  Blaize was not back yet, so she hopped in the shower to wash before drawing up a bubble bath. She had just lain back with a deep sigh when she heard the dorm door open and Blaize moving around.

  She was a little bit startled when the bathroom door opened and Blaize entered, seemingly oblivious to her presence. He didn't notice her as he stocked the toothpaste and shaving cream in the drawers.

  "Uhh ...Blaize?"

  He jumped half a foot in the air and then spun around only to cover his eyes. "Ahh! Sorry! I didn't know you were back. Sorry, I'll just ..." He fumbled for the door handle with one hand still over his eyes.

  "Blaize, I'm in a bubble bath. You can't see anything."

  "Oh ... uhhh, ok." He lowered his hand but remained staring at the ceiling. "Uh ... yeah sorry, I'll leave. My bad." He left the bathroom quickly.

  "Blaize?" she called.

  "Yeah?"

  "I left my towel on my bed. Could you bring it in here?"

  A second later, the door opened and his hand quickly placed the towel on the counter before the door snapped shut again.

  "Thanks!" she called.

  "No problem."

  When she finished soaking, she rinsed off and drained the tub. She felt very relaxed, but tired. She left the bathroom wrapped in the towel. Blaize was sitting on his bed with books, papers and notebooks scattered all over. "Hey."

  "Uh, hi," he said without looking up.

  "Blaize, Sundays are my recharge days."

  "Uh ... ok."

  "Well I just wanted you to know that I'm gonna take a nap and if you could refrain from having a bunch of guys over, that that would be nice."

  "Yeah, no problem. I got a bunch of homework anyways."

  "Because I'm going to sleep naked."

  He jumped and looked up at her, then back down when he saw that she was in just a towel. "What? Why?"

  "Blaiiiize, please. I just need to. Haven’t you just needed a day to just pass out and recharge?"

  "Well yeah, but I don't do it naked!"

  "Well, I do. Don’t worry, though. I'll be a good little girl and stay on my side of the room.”

  He began to gather his stuff up. "I'll just do my homework downstairs."

  "No, Blaize, you don't have to leave, really. I'll just be sleeping. I'll be out like a rock."

  He didn't answer.

  "But I guess I can always go ask Matt or Chance if I can go borrow one of their beds," she added, faking disappointment in her voice.

  "No!" He straightened abruptly and she raised an eyebrow. "I mean, no, it’s fine. You go ahead and take your nap. I'll stay here to make sure no one bothers you."

  She smiled. "Thanks, Blaize. You’re the best."

  He nodded and continued his homework. She crawled under her covers and then let the towel drop to the floor. He watched as she turned away from him, flashing a bare shoulder before she quickly fell asleep, and once again did so without her old apprehension. She sought pleasantries in her dream world and snuggled against them.

  Chapter 11

  Jaide woke up but didn't open her eyes. She didn't want to end her sleep. She felt so refreshed, as though she had slept for days, but she didn't want to leave the soft, warm cocoon of her blankets.

  Without moving her body, she opened her eyes just a little to see her alarm clock. She had slept for almost four hours. She looked at Blaize. He was still sitting on his bed, working diligently on homework.

  He didn't notice that she was awake and she took the opportunity to study him. He was muscular but wasn't so buff that he looked like a giant steak. His body was the kind that would make most girls kill to have him as a boyfriend but he didn't flaunt it. She knew he wouldn’t take his shirt off during practice just to show his muscles the way so many other boys did.

  He was hunched over his textbook so his hair hung in his face a little, but his bright eyes were clearly visible. The blue of his eyes was such a pure blue she had not seen anything like it, especially not in someone who was not of light complexion. He had a little bit of a bronze skin tone. His jet-black hair grew so thick and amazing, she just wanted to run her hands through it. It looked so soft. She thought, he could definitely be a hair model. Hell, he could be any kind of model.

  Then he glanced over at her and her thoughts were cut short. He smiled when he saw that she was awake. "Sleep well?"

  "Oh yes." As she
stretched, her bare arms and shoulders emerged from the blanket.

  "I'm assuming you didn't have any nightmares, just pleasant dreams?"

  "Yeah, I dreamed you'd come over here and hop in bed with me," she taunted, laughing, and adding a wink and a grin.

  He ducked his head back to his homework and blushed. "Uh, sorry, got homework."

  "Dang." She wrapped herself in her sheet and stood.

  There was a knock on the door and she automatically went to answer, but Blaize jumped off the bed and cut her off with his body. "Uhh ...” He stepped back when he realized how close he was. "Maybe you should get dressed."

  She looked down at herself. "Oh yeah, heh." She went to her dresser and opened it. She glanced over her shoulder at him and gave him a pointedly teasing look. He turned to face the wall and heard the sound of the sheet hit the floor. It was such a soft sound, he noted.

  A few moments later, she walked in front of him fully clothed in sweats and a T-shirt, on course to open the door. It had become a familiar knock. "What's up, Chance?"

  Chance glanced beyond her to Blaize. "Not a whole lot, just wanted to see what you guys were up to. Would you believe I’m actually bored?"

  "I just woke up from a nap." She stood aside to let him enter. He slouched in one of the chairs near the desk. Blaize crawled back onto his bed and Jaide joined him.

  "What were you two doing? Taking a nap anyways?"

  She shrugged and pulled Blaize's book into her lap. "I like naps. They put me in good moods."

  "Oh yeah, and your brother has been calling me and texting me like crazy. You need to turn your phone on. He’s trying to get a hold of you."

  "Why? Anything important?"

  "I don't think so, just being Tremaine."

  She stood to dig her phone out of her backpack and plug it in. She took a flying leap and landed back on Blaize's bed again. She grinned at Chance before grabbing the thick textbook again and whipping Blaize's homework out of his hands.

  "You are in a good mood, huh?"

  She nodded. "You know what? I am feeling rather magnificent."

  "Yeah, I can tell. You guys are boring. Are you really gonna sit here all day and do homework?"

  "Probably."

  Chance stood and rolled his eyes. "Everyone is busy today. I guess I'll just go play video games."

  "Bye," Jaide said without looking up, and waved him away with her hand.

  Chance rolled his eyes again and left the room. "You kids have fun."

  Once Chance had left, Blaize tapped one of the Trig problems on his paper. "I'm stuck on that one. I got most of the way done I think, but I don't know what to do next."

  She examined it for a moment. "Multiply by the conjugate. That will get you to the next step. ” She scooted closer to him and helped him through the rest of the review problems Mr. West had given him to catch up.

  He caught on fast and didn't need her help too much. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder while watching his progress. He didn't seem to notice or if he did notice, he didn't show it.

  When he was finally done, he leaned back and rested his head on the wall, closing his eyes. She let his brain cool down for a moment before asking him a question. "Hey Blaize, how'd your errands go?" She straightened to look at him. She had to wait a couple moments for an answer.

  He opened his eyes and looked at her before closing them again. "They went good."

  "Yeah?"

  "Yeah," he confirmed.

  "How is she?" Jaide asked, her voice a little softer when referring to Maddy. He hesitated only a second. "She's good ... same as always."

  "That's good."

  "Why do you ask?"

  "I'm just curios is all. I'm glad to hear that she's doing well."

  "It sounds like you care."

  "I do care."

  "About her?"

  "Well, I don't know her, but I care about you."

  His eyes opened and he sighed. She could tell that even though his eyes were open he was just staring straight ahead, not really seeing anything. She could tell that she had opened up memories that he normally pushed aside and it was affecting him.

  Blaize spoke in a vacant voice, dreamily. "She was great, and you would have liked her."

  "Tell me about her."

  Blaize thought for a while before speaking. "She was amazing, so brilliant. She got accepted to one of the best boarding schools because of how well she did in middle school and on standardized tests. Her parents couldn't afford it but she got most of it paid for in scholarships, and she worked for the rest. She was always optimistic. I was so lucky to have her. My parents hated her."

  That thought turned his eyes a little darker and it was clear that he was angry at his parents for that, but Jaide kept quiet so he would continue.

  "She was outgoing and didn't care that she came from a middle class family while everyone else at that school was filthy rich. She put up with me. I was so depressed all the time that my parents eventually kicked me out of the house because I wouldn't break up with her. Everyone loved her. I know you guys would have been friends. She played basketball, even though she wasn't the best at it. She tried really hard because she had so much fun playing in games. She always wanted to try something new. We always said we were going to go to Egypt one day and climb the pyramids. She loved history and all that. She was my life ... when she …" He paused and took a deep breath. "When it happened, and she ... left, I was a mess. I didn't think I had a reason to live."

  He stopped and she could tell he was on the verge of tears. She moved closer to him. Their shoulders touched but she didn't try to comfort him, just let him know that she was there and she would wait until he was ready to keep talking about it. He dropped his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. She looked up and saw a few tears leak out and leave wet paths down his cheeks.

  She brushed them away softly. He showed no reaction. She took his hand and turned it over, tracing the faint scars that she found on his wrists. "What would she think now, if she saw how you are now? All closed up from the world, not being able to think about her without getting sad?"

  "I can't help it. You don't understand."

  "I know I don't understand, but I want to. I want to help you feel better."

  "She loved me. She told me that all the time, but I could never say it back. It tore her up but she stayed with me anyways." He took a deep breath and glanced down at her before looking away. "I tried, I tried so hard to love her. I cared about her so much but I didn't love her like she needed."

  "She wanted you to be happy, and would still want that. She would want you to move on."

  "I don't want to forget her."

  "I'm not suggesting that. I'm just suggesting that you come to terms with what happened and then start up your life again. That means having friends that trust they don't have to worry about you all the time. It means being able to remember her and all the good things about her without getting so sad. It means not blaming yourself and being able to enjoy the memories of her. She would have wanted you to be happy. You know that. She would have wanted you to have more relationships and lead a normal life."

  "It's hard because she's still ... here."

  "I know it's hard, probably harder than I can imagine. But it's not impossible."

  He heaved a shuddering sigh. "How did you do it?"

  "Do what?"

  "How did you get over what happened to you? I know they are totally different situations, but all I did was lose someone and I'm freaking out. You had to endure all that stuff that I can't even imagine. I'm so weak."

  "No, no you're not. You’re doing great, and it took me years, Blaize. Years. You should have seen me. I was messed up, but I had a great support system. Tremaine and my dad, they were great and that's what I want to be for you."

  "Nothing more than that?"

  She hesitated a moment. "I'm not going to lie to you. I do like you, but that has nothing to do with this, I promise."

  "That's w
hy I hate myself right now. I like you, too ... and I shouldn't. It's wrong."

  "No, it's not wrong. Maddy would have wanted you to be happy and move on. And I'm not just saying this because it's me. I would be saying this if you liked another girl, too."

  He nodded.

  After a few moments of silence, he abruptly pulled her onto his lap, or rather, in between his legs. He held her back tightly against the front of his torso and buried his face against the back of her neck and shoulder.

  She smiled a little at this and stroked his jean-clad knee slowly. After a few minutes, she couldn't help but giggle. "I feel like a teddy bear, a giant one."

  "Sorry," he mumbled against her back.

  "Nah, it's ok. Teddy bears are cool. Are you feeling better?"

  He nodded. "A lot better, thanks. I needed to talk about it."

  A few moments later, there came a knock on the door. Blaize groaned and lifted his head. Jaide leaned back against him with a smile. "Who is it?" she called.

  "It's Sir Alex and Lady Garrett."

  "What do you want?"

  "We would like to cordially invite you to a rendezvous at a movie theater just a few blocks away."

  "Sorry, I'm expecting an important phone call."

  "Do you think we could come in?"

  "No, I'm too lazy."

  "Ok ... is Blaize in? Maybe he wants to go."

  Blaize answered. "Sorry guys, lots of homework. You two have fun though."

  "Alright, we will. Talk to you guys later." Their footsteps retreated down the hallway.

  "You coulda gone."

  "Nah, I'd rather be your teddy bear."

  "You're way cuter then any teddy bear I've seen."

  "Well thanks!"

  A few moments of silence stretched out. "So Blaize, tell me where we're at right now."

  "I just want to think for a while."

  "Ok ... I got an idea." She pulled away and he reluctantly let go. She cleared his bed of all the books and papers. He took the hint and lay back on his bed, pulling up his covers.

  She put in a CD and turned it on with a low volume. She turned off the light, but it wasn't real dark since the sun shined through the blinds of the window.

  Jaide crossed the room to his bed and looked down at him. "So you wanna think for a while?"