Toni stared at her clasped hands. It was clear she was struggling with what she wanted to say, and Noel waited patiently, giving her the time she needed. “It’s true that you were always ready to get together. But, like I told you the other day, you never reciprocated. You never asked me out.”
“I know, but—”
Holding up her hand, Toni continued, “That’s not the bad part. The part that hurt was that you never asked me any questions about me. At first, I thought you were self-involved. It didn’t bother me too much, since you certainly weren’t that way when we were having sex.” She laughed, her eyes taking on the sexy tease that Noel was ridiculously attracted to. “But over time, I realized you weren’t self-involved. There’s a lot of give-and-take when you’re talking to Heidi or Jackie or Roxy. And Gloria told me how much she liked you and how interested you were in finding out about Max. So I started to think you just weren’t interested in me as anything other than a bed partner. I thought you didn’t find me interesting enough to get to know.”
Noel put her hands on Toni’s shoulders, squeezing them. “Nothing, nothing could be further from the truth. I was sure you wanted to keep things very topical, so that’s what I did. I kept trying not to let myself get too attached to you, since you made it so clear you didn’t want to be in a relationship.”
“I did,” Toni said, dropping her head. “But I was just protecting myself.” She looked up and let Noel see the deep sadness in her dark eyes. “I should’ve taken more risks.” She put her arm around Noel’s shoulders and let their heads rest against one another. “You haven’t changed your mind about taking a risk, have you?”
“Which risk is that?”
“A really simple one. You give up a job you love and leave your friends and family to do a job you’re not suited for. And, of course, you get to try to turn a relationship-phobic, beat-up handywoman into a girlfriend.”
Noel chuckled. “I could get that done before breakfast.” She shifted and put her arms around Toni, feeling a thrill run up her spine when Toni rested her head on her chest and relaxed into her embrace. Soothingly, Noel stroked Toni’s hair, loving the way the thick strands slid through her fingers. “I’ve got another idea. You could move to Baltimore and build up your contractor business there. I know a very sweet woman who’d love to try to tame you.” She kissed her head. “Not that I think you need taming.”
Toni’s voice was soft and a little tentative when she said, “What do you think I need?”
“I’m not sure. But I would have loved to find out.”
“Me too. I bet I could have made you like being an innkeeper in six or seven years.”
“That’s a little optimistic,” Noel teased, laughing along with Toni. “It’s gonna be a long time before I want house-guests. I honestly don’t think I could ever get used to living in the place I worked. It’s just not me.”
“That’s pretty clear, given that you never had a meal there.”
“No, I felt like the night manager at a motel.”
Toni started to move and Noel released her. “Max would have been happy that you gave it a try. But she never would have wanted you to be stuck with something you didn’t want.” She stood up and went into her room, emerging with a tissue paper wrapped package. Her expression was a little shy when she extended the gift. “I made this for you.”
Noel took the gift and unwrapped it, feeling her cheeks flush and tears flood her eyes when she gazed at the quilt. “Oh, my god, there’s The Sandpiper!”
Toni had crafted the quilt to center around the image of the hotel. Surrounding it were scenes of the ocean, the sun, an anchor, an apple, and a rustic tool box. “The anchor’s for Max,” Toni said, her voice rough with emotion. “The apple’s for my favorite teacher. And I had to put myself in there.” She shrugged and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
Noel threw her arms around Toni’s neck and shook with emotion. When she was able to pull away she kissed her cheeks repeatedly. “No one has ever given me anything so fantastic.”
Toni looked shy but pleased, and she eagerly accepted Noel’s kisses.
“For my fortieth birthday, Janet gave me a beautiful diamond tennis bracelet.” She squeezed the quilt, closing her eyes briefly. “This is nicer. Much nicer.”
“I think you’re exaggerating a little bit.”
“No, I’m not.” Noel’s gaze was intent when she stared into Toni’s eyes. “Janet had a great job, and she made a lot of money. I’m sure she spent a lot on the bracelet, but I don’t wear much jewelry—especially not to work. So, even though I appreciated it, it didn’t reflect me or who I am. And it didn’t show me anything about her.” She rubbed the quilt against her cheek, grinning. “This does.”
Toni gazed at Noel for a long time, looking perfectly happy doing just that. Her smile grew when Noel wrapped her arms around her neck and stood so close they were nearly nose to nose. “I wish we could start over. I’d love to have another chance to do this right.”
“I know.” Toni’s dark eyes fluttered closed. “We let the summer get away from us.”
“How are you feeling? Still sleepy?”
Toni’s slow smile made a chill chase up Noel’s back. “What’ve you got in mind?”
“Like you don’t know.” She kissed her gently. “We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well in bed. Let’s go do what we’re good at.”
Toni’s long lashes batted seductively. “We do have a certain flair, don’t we?”
“No doubt.” She took Toni by the hand and led her to the bedroom.
***
As she almost always did, Toni took over as soon as they crossed the threshold of the bedroom. Noel hadn’t realized how much she appreciated a lover who wasn’t afraid to direct the action, and she wasn’t going to spoil a perfectly good thing at this point.
This was the first time Noel had ever known she and Toni were going to get together, so she’d had time to prepare. Toni sat on the bed and methodically undressed her, stopping to admire the sexy bra Noel had picked out for the occasion. She looked down at Toni’s hands, admiring the strength as well as the small scars that decorated them. Those strong, yet tender hands caressed her breasts, making Noel’s heart race when she saw the hungry look in Toni’s eyes. Not surprisingly, she could feel herself start to get wet, even though Toni hadn’t yet touched a bit of bare skin.
“I’m already hot for you,” she said, a small grin turning up a corner of her mouth.
“Good,” Toni said, not moving one bit faster, her attention fully fixed on Noel’s breasts. “I love it when I put my mouth on you and you’re dripping wet.”
“I get wet walking over to your house,” Noel said, laughing. “Just thinking about you is enough.”
Toni stopped and put her hands on Noel’s hips, looking up into her eyes. “Do you think about me?”
“Yes.” Forcing herself to be honest, she started to run her fingers through Toni’s hair, speaking softly. “I think about you all of the time.”
“What do you think about?”
“Mostly I try to figure out how to find you,” she admitted. “I try to remember if you’ve told me when you’re going to be on duty, and where you might be.”
Looking a little unsure, Toni said, “So, it’s usually just a scheduling thing?”
“No. Not at all.” She increased the pace of her head rub, smiling when Toni rested her head against her belly. “I think about the last time we were together, and what we did. I think about how you smell, how you taste. But most of all I think about how happy I am when we’re together.” Toni slowly lifted her chin and looked curiously at Noel. It was hard for her to continue with those big eyes staring at her, but Noel forced herself. “Being with you has been the highlight of my summer, and you had a lot of competition. Someone left me a piece of property worth a load of dough.”
That broke the tension, and Toni grasped her by the hips pulling her onto the bed. She kissed her gently, slowly. Then she looked into her
eyes and said, “I can’t tell you how many nights I walked by The Sandpiper, hoping to get a glimpse of you. I didn’t have the nerve to knock on the darned door, but I thought it’d be okay to toss a pebble at the window if I saw you. I’m a dope. A big dope. I wasted so much time.”
“I did the same thing, Toni. It’s not your fault. We just didn’t communicate well.”
“Let’s try to start now.” She held her tightly and kissed her, showing more emotion, more tenderness than she’d ever revealed. Noel responded with the same depth of intensity, and soon their bare bodies were expressing the feelings they both experienced, but never gave voice to.
***
Much later, Toni lay on her side, spooned up against Noel, sleepily rubbing her belly. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
“I’d love to.” Noel yawned, trying hard to stay awake. “You sure you don’t mind?”
“Mind? Why would I mind?”
“I…uhm…assumed you didn’t like to sleep with a lover.”
“Huh? I love to. I assumed you didn’t.”
Noel grasped Toni’s hand and brought it to her mouth, biting it playfully. “Don’t ever say that word again. I’m declaring war on ‘assume’ and all of its permutations.”
***
In the middle of the night, Toni had to get up and use the bathroom. There was a cool breeze coming in the windows and she rushed back to bed to warm up. Still asleep, Noel immediately snuggled up, making a soft, whimpering sound that touched Toni’s heart. She snuck an arm under Noel’s head and stroked her body, smiling when Noel sighed and purred, burrowing against her. She forced herself to lie awake for as long as she could, relishing their closeness, and wishing that it hadn’t come so late.
***
The next morning, Toni displayed her culinary skills by whipping up blueberry pancakes. She was standing in front of the stove, clad in just an oversized chambray shirt when Noel came into the kitchen and hugged her from behind. “Do you mean that I could have been getting breakfast made for me all those times I stupidly went home?”
“Well, your guests might not have liked that, but I would’ve.” She turned her head and gave Noel a sweet smile. “What do you want to do today?”
“If you don’t have anything in mind, I’d like to spend the day in your bed. We can talk and have sex and talk some more. How does that sound?”
“That sounds great.” She turned again, but her smile was so sad and filled with longing that Noel wished she hadn’t seen it.
***
Noel leaned across the bed and licked a drip of maple syrup from the edge of Toni’s mouth. “This is fun. I’ve…uhm…been wondering. Why are you antagonistic to relationships?”
“I’m not antagonistic,” Toni said, chuckling softly. “I guess I just hadn’t found the right woman, and I’d begun to believe that I wouldn’t. So, rather than create false expectations, I tended to say that I’m not relationship material.”
“But you don’t believe that.”
“I’m not sure, to be honest. I think I’d probably have tried a few more times if I lived in a bigger town. But everyone knows your business here.” She shook her head. “It’s better not to bother. Besides, I like my freedom, and I get most of my needs met.”
“Most?”
“Up until this year, I guess I was getting all of them met. But when Max died, I lost my confidant. I have a lot of friends, but Max’s the one I relied on for my emotional home base.”
“I know how close you were, but it surprises me that you don’t have that with Heidi or Roxy or one of your other friends.”
“You know how it is. You rely on people for certain things. Max was great at drawing me out and making me tell her things. That’s harder to do with somebody who’s a peer or a lover. At least for me it is.”
“And it’s hard to change after you’ve known someone for a long time, isn’t it.”
“Yeah, it is. Maybe it’s time I tried to change, because Max’s not coming back.”
***
It was a lovely day, and Toni suggested they sit outside for a while.
Noel was lying in bed, leaning up against the headboard, with Toni’s head on her lap. “Sounds appealing, but this isn’t bad either. I’m pretty fond of being naked…with you, that is. I wear clothes most of the time.”
“When we first met, you accused me of not wanting to work inside. I think I denied that, but it’s pretty close to the truth. I get antsy if I’m inside too much.”
“No problem. I can put some clothes on.” She patted Toni’s head and started scooting off the bed.
Toni went to her closet and found another oversized shirt. She tossed it to Noel, and said, “This is all you need.”
“Really? What about your neighbors?”
“You must not have paid attention when you were out there before. Nobody can see in.”
Noel accepted the shirt and put it on. “Then why are we bothering?”
“The sun can still see in.” She kissed Noel’s forehead, and added, “You’ve avoided getting a sunburn all summer long. Why ruin your record now?”
Toni poured glasses of iced tea for both of them, and they went out and sat in a pair of rocking chairs. “This is the life,” Noel said. She propped her feet up on Toni’s bare legs and took a sip of her tea.
“You might not know this, but the weather’s always like this here. You ought to think about running the inn just for the weather.”
“I’m gonna call you one day in February and remind you of the vicious lie you just told me.” She wiggled her toes, poking Toni’s breasts through her shirt.
“Well, it always feels nice. I’ve never been to Baltimore in the winter, but I bet it’s lots nicer here.”
“You’re probably right. I think it’s been established that I’ve had a lot of crazy illusions this summer. My belief that Delaware gets about the same weather as Maryland is probably just one more of them.”
A frown creased Toni’s forehead and she put her hand on Noel’s knee. “Hey, I want to clear something up. During our…whatever it was the other night, you said you were worried that I might give you some sort of STD.”
Covering her face with her hands, Noel said, “Please forget that entire day. Seriously.”
Tugging her hands away, Toni looked at her. “No, that’s not a good idea. I know you were upset, and sometimes when you’re angry you say things that you wouldn’t ordinarily say. Sometimes that’s where the truth is.”
“Not in this case. I was just angry.”
“Just in case there was any truth in there, I want you to know that I’ve always been very careful.”
“It’s not necessary—”
“It is,” Toni interrupted. “It’s important to me. Whenever I’m with someone I have any doubts about I limit things to hands only. No oral sex.”
Noel cocked her head and said, “We had oral sex the first time we were together.”
“I knew you’d been with someone for ten years. And you said you hadn’t been with anyone since then. Plus,” she said, looking a little embarrassed, “I know this isn’t what the Centers for Disease Control would recommend, but you just don’t seem like the kind of woman who would walk around with an untreated STD.”
Noel couldn’t stop from laughing. “That’s the weakest compliment I think I’ve ever gotten, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”
“You know what I mean,” Toni said, giving Noel’s belly a scratch.
“I do. And I should learn something from that.”
Toni looked very serious when she nodded. “You should. You didn’t know me well enough to do the things we’ve been doing. You need to be a lot more careful with people you don’t know.” She smiled again, but her smile had that veneer of sadness that it had had for the past two days. “You don’t want to mess up some very nice equipment.”
“I won’t.” Noel picked up her chair and moved it so it was right next to Toni’s. Then she held her hand and leaned on her shoulder. They beg
an to rock their chairs in sync, neither woman speaking.
***
Noel wanted to get going by five o’clock, and she dutifully got into the shower at four-thirty. She’d just gotten the water to the right temperature when an impish looking Toni got in with her. “I got bored,” she said, grinning.
“You can help.” She handed Toni a bar of soap. “You can wash my back.”
Toni soaped up her hands and did as she was told, but other, softer parts called to her. It didn’t take long for Noel to turn and begin to rub her soapy body against Toni’s, a lascivious smile on her face. “This is a fantastic way to shower. A human loofah.”
Tilting her head so that her lips were next to Noel’s ear, Toni whispered, “I think you need one for the road.”
Noel pulled back and looked at her, seeing the spark in her eyes. “You do, do you?”
“Actually, I need one, so I figured you did, too.”
“Oh, what the heck. Schedules were made to be broken.”
***
Toni walked Noel back to The Sandpiper, but instead of taking the main commercial street they went along a quieter, less traveled one. Noel had packed up her things, so all she had to do was load her car. They went in together and Toni chatted with Barbara while Noel went to her apartment and picked up her suitcases. She’d decided to leave most of what she’d brought, figuring she wouldn’t wear most of her summer clothes now that fall was coming. Her new apartment in Baltimore was nice enough, but there wasn’t a lot of room and using The Sandpiper for off-season storage seemed like a good idea.
She went out and said goodbye to Barbara, thanking her for all of her help. Then she and Toni went out to the street. “My poor little car might not be up to getting me all the way to Baltimore. She’s seriously out of shape after just sitting around on her wheels all summer.”
Toni patted the hood. “She’s a cute little thing. I’ve never had a newer car.”
Susan X. Meagher - The Legacy Page 16