Dorothy In the Land of Monsters

by Garten Gevedon

  “Don’t worry. If this road goes in, it must come out,” says the Zombie seeing my hesitation, “and as the Emerald City is at the other end of the road, we must go wherever it leads us no matter what, but if the memories of the birds are correct, there is a cottage nearby.”

  After an hour, the remaining light fades away, and we stumble along in the darkness. Although I can’t see at all, Toto can, and the Zombie says he can see just as well as if it were day. So, I take hold of his arm and get along well. Soon after, the Zombie stops.

  “At the right of us, I see the little cottage,” he says, “built of logs and branches. It’s the one.”

  “Sounds great, because I’m all tired out.”

  The Zombie leads Toto and me through the trees until we reach the cottage and it’s just as he said, from what I can see. All wood, small, and abandoned. He shoves open the door for me and I enter with Toto at my heels. There’s nothing inside but a bed of dried leaves in one corner.

  “I’ll be by the window keeping watch, so you can sleep without worry,” the Zombie tells me, and I lay down at once with Toto beside me. While the Zombie stands by the window waiting for morning to come, I fall right to sleep.

  5

  My Run-in with the Heartless Axe Murderer

  Unlike the usual wet nose and little licks that wake me with affection every morning, today it’s vicious, angry barks that cause my tired eyes to fly open. More alert than I was a moment ago, I scan the cabin to find I am the only one in it as Toto’s threatening barks bellow in succession from outside. Toto can be fierce when he wants to be, but aggression is unusual for him.

  Worried, knowing something is wrong, I shoot up out of my bed of leaves, hurry over to my bag of weapons, take out the biggest sword I can find, and hope it will scare whatever it is away. Long and silver and sharp, it looks like the sword of a samurai.

  Faster than I’ve ever moved, I hurry to the door and throw it open to see a man covered in armor—head, face and all—with axes strapped to every spot an axe could be, and he’s attacking the Zombie with an axe in each hand. He swings in sweeping, swirling movements while the Zombie bends and deflects his every advance. Toto runs around them barking threats at the Axeman, and despite his dragging, the Zombie is agile and spry. When he said he was a good fighter, he wasn’t kidding.

  Evasive but also kicking like he’s a Kung Fu master, the Zombie flips around to avoid getting hit as he protects Toto and attacks the Axeman at the same time. He kicks an axe out of the man’s hand, but the Axeman just pulls another from his body and attacks again. This time he turns to attack Toto, who is growling at him, baring his teeth. Fury and fear rush through me as I step forward and the Axeman swings. Toto jumps back, growling out a growl I’ve never heard from him—he’s pissed. And so am I.

  Before the Axeman can swing again, I run out toward them, my sword raised, ready to protect my dog and slice the man if I must. As I run, charging into the fray, my boots grow around my body, creating a full body armor that covers all of me but my face. Now plated with silver, I attack, moving like I’ve never moved, like the Zombie was, but even faster, flipping through the air as I make my way to them, baring my sword that swings and slices in a smooth and beautiful pattern, as if it were in a battle scene of a martial arts movie.

  Without even intending to, I go to strike the Axeman, my new suit of armor controlling my motion. The Zombie backs up, grabbing Toto from harm’s way as the Axeman swings back at me. Lithe and wiry, I dodge and hit back, but his armor prevents me from slicing him in two, and I close the gap between us. With force and celerity, he hits me with a hard punch, and then another, but I don’t stumble because my armor takes the brunt of the hit. That punch should have hurt me, but I’m not even rattled. We fight in a massive display—fists and feet, knees and elbows—and he is as adroit as my suit of armor. At every point of contact, the armor protects me from any impact, and he seems to wear a suit like mine.

  Because I know this could go on for a while, I decide to subdue him. Once the thought enters my mind, my suit does the work for me. Within seconds I am holding him face first on the ground, and he struggles under my knee but to no avail. When I flip him over, I grab hold of his helmet, and rip it off.

  Wow.

  The hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life just tried to kill my dog, my friend, and me. It’s unfortunate he’s a bad guy. He’s so hot he’s scorching, in his early twenties I’d guess, with the most perfect chiseled features, flawless skin, full lips, hair like spun gold, and enrapturing green eyes filled with rage. Well, I’m furious too.

  “Hey, pretty boy, what’s your problem?” If he’s not a vampire, or a zombie, or a werebeast, why is he trying to hurt us?

  “You are, vampire,” he seethes, eyes narrowed.

  “You’re looking at a living human, Dick Vader. What’s with the getup?”

  “What did you say?”

  “Why are you trying to hurt my dog and my friend?”

  “He’s a zombie, and that’s a werebeast,” he says as if it’s obvious why he’s attacking, still struggling under me.

  “That zombie is my friend, and that is not a werebeast, it’s my pet, an animal, you idiot,” I say, and he stops struggling. “If I let you up will you stop attacking?” I ask him with a squinted eye, and he sighs.

  “Yes, as long as they don’t, I won’t,” he says.

  When I rise, letting him free, he kicks his legs in unison and jumps to his feet in one motion. He moves right into a fighting stance, already on the defensive.

  “No one will attack you, relax,” I tell him, and after a moment he does, his body loosening.

  When it’s clear he will not attack again, my armor disappears back into my boots, my sword still in my hand, and the Axeman’s eyes widen in fear at the sight of me while the Zombie looks impressed.

  “What sort of sorceress are you?” the Axeman asks.

  “Just a person, not a sorceress—it’s the boots,” I explain, and he looks at them with curious, squinting eyes. “What’s your excuse?”

  “My excuse?”

  “Yeah, you’re covered head to toe in metal with axes strapped to every inch of you. What’s your deal? Why did you attack us?”

  “You were in my house, and he’s a zombie, and I thought your strange animal was a werebeast of some sort.”

  “Oh, you live here? Sorry, we thought it was an abandoned cabin.”

  “Why are you here? How did you find me?” he asks, suspicious of us.

  “We’re headed to the City of Emeralds and needed a place to sleep for the night,” I explain.

  “If this is your home, where were you all night long?” the Zombie asks.

  “Hunting vampires, zombies, and werebeasts,” he says with a challenging smirk. “That’s what I do. During the day, I rest when I need to, when it’s safest to let my guard down, considering you’re all night creatures.”

  “Not all zombies are bad,” the Zombie defends.

  “Aren’t they?” the Axeman scoffs.

  “This zombie’s not,” I tell him, and he looks at me like I’m an idiot.

  “Who are you?” he asks me.

  “I’m not from here. I’m traveling to the City of Emeralds with my dog to find a way home. The Great Wizard will help me find it. And this nice zombie is coming along to cure his zombiism.”

  “Cure?” the Axeman scoffs.

  “There are murmurs throughout the land that the Great and Terrifying Wizard of Oz has a cure for zombiism, and if it’s true, I want it. Becoming a zombie was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it. It’s awful.”

  With a sigh, the Axeman softens.

  “Is it true the City of Emeralds is a Vampire Free Zone?”

  “Yes, why? Do you think it isn’t?” the Zombie says.

  “It sounds too good to be true,” the Axeman says, not sure he believes it.

  “The Slayer Witch, Gayelette, said it was,” I tell them.

  “You met her?” the Axeman asks.
>
  “When Dorothy landed here, she killed the Vampire Witch of the East,” the Zombie tells him.

  “You did?” the Axeman says, his eyes widening in fear again.

  “The boots of the Vampire Witch are on her feet. It’s a good thing you have them, Dorothy. The way you move is unlike anything I’ve seen,” the Zombie says in awe.

  “I didn’t even feel it when he hit me,” I beam. Fear of traveling through a land of monsters ebbs knowing the boots will protect me and my friends, fighting for me when I need to.

  “It seems your boots know how to wield your weapons, even if you do not,” the Zombie says with a smile, and I smile back.

  “The journey to the City of Emeralds is long,” the Axeman points out.

  “Yeah, so I’ve heard.” Makes no difference to me since I have no choice but to go there.

  “Where did you come from?” he asks us.

  “Munchkin Land,” the Zombie says.

  “That is near here. Prepare yourselves, for you will come across many vampires from here on. Munchkin Land is the Vampire Witch of the East’s turning ground, so vampires don’t enter the area often. The territory and its people belonged to her, before you killed her that is. You will encounter many as you journey on, and they travel in packs. Perhaps I will go with you,” he says, and the Zombie shakes his head.

  “No, you tried to kill us,” the Zombie says with a refusing shake of his head.

  “You’re a zombie, and you were in my house, and you had what I thought was a werebeast at your side and a woman who looked dead on the floor, so excuse me for attacking,” the Axeman says and scoffs.

  “Why do you want to go to the City of Emeralds?” I ask him.

  “I am tired of fighting all night, every night, hunting and killing vampire after vampire. More and more keep coming, and it does no good. It is endless. And zombies are just as bad, no offense,” he says to the Zombie who rolls his eyes and groans.

  “The life I lead is heartless and I do not enjoy it. Last night, I killed a little girl vampire with no remorse, and she was only a child. Perhaps she was older, but she looked as though she was seven years old. She attacked me with her vampire parents, and I killed them in front of her eyes. Then I killed her. I chopped off her head, and I felt nothing. Even though I have killed so many, it has made no difference. If the City of Emeralds is a Vampire Free Zone where werebeasts, zombies, and humans all live in peace, I want to be there. I want my heart back. Do you think the wizard would allow me to stay there?” he asks me.

  “I have no clue, but it’s worth a shot, right? If you can be of use to the city, contribute something… What did you do before the plague?”

  “My father was a lumberman, and I was planning to go into his business when the plague hit.”

  “He was a lumberman? Does that mean…”

  “Vampires turned him, so I had to kill him. He made me promise I would if it happened, so I know I honored him and his wishes. But that is not what made me the heartless killer I am now.”

  “What did?” asks the Zombie.

  “As I said, I was born the son of a lumberman who chopped down trees in the forest and sold the wood for a living. When I grew old enough, I was to become a woodchopper. Before my mother died, she made me promise to find a woman to marry, so that when my father passed, I might not be alone. There was one Munchkin girl who was so beautiful that I soon grew to love her, and she promised to marry me as soon as I could earn enough money to build a better house for her, so I set to begin work with my father.

  “The girl lived with an old woman who did not want her to marry anyone, for she was so lazy she wished the girl to remain with her, cook, and do the housework, to be the one to risk getting the plague so the old woman could stay protected inside. The old woman made a deal with the Vampire Witch of the East and promised her information on Munchkins and their hiding places if she would prevent the marriage. This meant turning me or feasting on me. Thereupon the Vampire Witch of the East set her vampires on me.”

  “Whoa,” I breathe.

  “There was a man, a silversmith named Ku-Klip who could make anything you asked, so I went to the silversmith and had him make me this armor. It works well, and I wear it always. This angered the Vampire Witch of the East, for she had promised the old woman I should die, so she set them on my father to anger me in return.

  “I went back to the silversmith, and he made my father a suit of armor almost identical to mine, but it was too difficult for my father to work in, so the moment he removed the armor on his chopping arm she set her minions on him, but instead of draining him, they turned him. There was no other choice but to follow his wishes, and I freed him when she set him after me. I knew I had honored him the way he would have wanted me to, and he was now with my mother so I could find peace in that.

  “Foolhardy as ever, I thought I had beaten the Vampire Witch, and I worked even harder to make the money to build my house and marry the Munchkin girl I loved, but I little knew how cruel my enemy could be. Wicked as she is, the soulless witch thought of a new way to kill my love for the beautiful Munchkin maiden and turned her next. She set my love on me then, to turn me, and forced me to impale her, to strike her through the heart. That is how I became heartless.

  “When they turned the Munchkin girl, I lost all my love for her, and did not care if I married her. She became as wicked as the witch and tried to turn me, tried to kill my soul. There was no other choice but to free her from eternal blood-thirst, so I found solace in that, but my heart died that night.

  “It was a terrible thing to undergo, but during the past year I have hunted hundreds of vampires attempting to turn me and others, and I resolved to protect the Munchkins and anyone else from the Vampire Witch and her minions—vampire, zombie, and werebeast alike—and that is what I have done ever since.

  “There has been a lot of time for me to think while waiting in the shadows hunting evil night creatures. While I was in love, I was the happiest man in the realm, but no one can love who has not a heart, and as long as I am living this life of hunting vampires, zombies, and werebeasts, there is no way I could not be heartless. To be heartless is a requirement for what I resolved to do. The greatest loss I have known was the loss of my heart, not my love.

  “Now I know the Vampire Witch of the East is dead, and I resolve to ask the Great and Terrifying Wizard of Oz to allow me to stay in the Vampire Free Zone, where the Vampire Witches have no minions, in the Emerald City. If he does, I will try to regain peace and perhaps fall in love once again, because having a heart filled with love is the truest happiness, and happiness is the best thing in all the realms.

  “The time to end the hunt is now. Let me travel with you, for I couldn’t go alone. Together we could make it there and have hope of safe arrival. Your zombie is a fine fighter, and those boots of yours, they make you a fierce contender. Along with your animal, we stand a chance. I am very strong with an axe and have killed hundreds of night creatures,” he says, determined to join our party.

  “It makes sense,” I say.

  “No, we don’t need him. This man is a target and a liability,” the Zombie whispers but the Heartless Axeman hears despite his attempt at discretion.

  “If you had any idea what is coming your way, you would not refuse me. If you are following the road to the city, you will encounter innumerable vampires, zombies not so kind as yourself, and vicious werebeasts. The two of you alone, even with your skills, and her boots, it will not be enough. If any of us will have any chance at all to make it there, you need me, and I need you,” he says with a steely-eyed conviction.

  “It couldn’t hurt to have someone else along who is skilled at fighting them,” I say to the Zombie.

  “Fine, you are right,” the Zombie grumbles, irritated to have him along but still recognizing we could use the help.

  “What’s your name?” I ask him.

  “Nick. Nick Chopper,” he says.

  “Dorothy Gale,” I say and reach out my h
and to shake his and he looks at it bewildered. I guess they don’t shake hands here. Out of politeness, he takes my hand in his, and we shake. When I smile at him, he smiles back, and it makes him even more handsome. “And this is Toto,” I say referring to my dog, who still growls at him.

  He kneels down and reaches out his hand to shake. Toto knows that trick and stops growling to put his paw in Nick’s hand. Toto sniffs him and then stops his growling altogether.

  “My name is Millard Vorona, but you may call me Ardie,” the Zombie says.

  “A pleasure to meet you,” Nick says to him with a nod. The Zombie, or Ardie, nods back.

  “You must eat, Dorothy, before we go on our way,” Ardie the Zombie reminds me.

  “Have you eaten?” I ask Nick the Axeman.

  “No, I haven’t.”

  “There’s bread and leftover chicken if you’d like to join me,” I say, and he smiles.

  “I’d love to, thank you.”

  There’s no doubt he’s older than me. If he was trying to get engaged, he’d have to be. And he’s so handsome it’s stupefying. With golden hair that offsets bright green eyes, and his chiseled features only highlight his full lips. All I can see of him is his face, but I’m sure the rest of him is gorgeous too. But he’s a grown up, and I’m not staying here. I’m leaving, going back to Kansas, and he’s got issues. So, just friends will work. A guy like him wouldn’t like me anyhow—I’m a child next to him. Seventeen and at least twenty-something is too big a gap at this point. Maybe when I’m in my twenties too, dating a guy that much older wouldn’t be weird, but now…

  “How old are you?” I ask him as I hand him some bread and a chicken leg, and he smiles.

  “Nineteen years old. How old are you?”

  “Seventeen. You seem older.”

  “Because I sleep little, and I kill things all night long.”