Winter's Gamble

by Armstrong, Mechele

  “You told my landlord. That I was gay and what I did for a living. That way you could step in and ‘save’ me.” It was the only logical explanation for Gideon finding out about him. Someone had to tell him. It probably would have worked too if Neo didn’t have such a devious mind and wasn’t so cynical. Phil had seemed too good to be true, and here was the proof.

  “I did no such thing.” Phil’s indignation set off Neo that much more. It was one thing to do it. But to lie when it was so obvious? Why else would Phil be rushing in to give him a place to live? Neo hadn’t even committed to Phil yet.

  “Then how did he find out? Some little mockingbird go and spill the story? You telling him is the only thing that makes fucking sense. I don’t know anyone else who was around but you.” Neo gestured with his hands, letting this get to him way more than it should have. “I’ve lived there a couple of years. He had no clue. Suddenly you come around, I leave you in my apartment, and he finds out? Coincidence? I think not.” See what Phil would say to that.

  Phil suddenly grabbed his head as though it hurt, and his face transformed as though he’d remembered something painful or developed a brain freeze. “Shit. That bitch.”

  “What bitch? And don’t try to say some random person told on me. No one else has enough invested in me to tell.” Neo stopped pacing and watched as Phil continued to rub his head. He felt a dire need to pound something.

  “Not a random bitch. I didn’t tell your landlord anything. He did come in while I was there.”

  Neo blew out a breath, letting Phil know how much he was not believing this story. “And you said nothing to him?” He still couldn’t believe Phil would stoop this low. He’d have thought it of other people. But not Phil. His heart felt weird like it was doing something heavy in his chest. He’d never say it was breaking, but it was doing something that couldn’t be identified. “You didn’t even say hi?”

  “I hid when he came in. In your bedroom. Behind a locked door. He fixed the sink. After he left, I was watching out the front window. I didn’t understand what happened then. I understand it now.”

  “Oh such fucking bullshit.” Neo threw his hands up in the air. “Now you’re going to tell me that some random person told Gideon exactly who I was? That makes no sense. Why would a random person sabotage me like this?” He shook his head. This was getting nowhere. Maybe he shouldn’t have even tried things with Phil again. Look where last time had gotten him.

  “Not some random bitch. My sister-in-law.”

  Neo stared at Phil and waited. After Phil didn’t continue elaborating, he said, “Huh?” sounding much like Phil had earlier. Where was the man headed with this lie? That made no sense. He didn’t even know the bitch. Why would she do something like this to someone she didn’t even know?

  “My sister-in-law. I saw her talking to your landlord. Least I think it was. He was the only elderly man out in front of your apartment. So had to be him. I couldn’t figure out why. Until you said what your landlord spouted when he came back to you.”

  Neo moved around away from Phil. “What the hell are you talking about?” He couldn’t sit down. He felt too edgy for that. “I don’t understand.”

  “The guy who was leaving when you got here was my brother. My sister-in-law told him I was dating you. And what you do for a living. And where I work.” Phil blew out a breath. “She was talking to that old guy I thought was your landlord. I bet she told him that you’re gay. And what you do to earn a living.” Phil turned away from Neo. “So it is my fault in a way. My brother is going to run for city councilman.” His voice was small and withered.

  “And they don’t want any gays in the city limits?” Neo stopped short and looked at Phil’s broad back. The guy was obviously hurting. Maybe he had been wrong? But he doubted it. “What the hell does that mean? I still don’t get any of this.”

  “Any other gays are fine. Just not me. They don’t want me to be gay. To work at a gay club. To date a stripper. To live this not normal lifestyle. They don’t want me to hurt my brother’s campaign.” The raw energy in Phil’s voice was overpowering. His voice almost cracked. “And they hurt you in the process. By telling your landlord the truth of who you were.”

  “So they asked you what, to…?” Neo took a step toward Phil. He couldn’t believe the hurt that was radiating from the man. He’d sensed the anger, but the pain wasn’t anything that he’d picked up on until now. Once Phil had turned around, it emanated from him like a beacon. It almost made him want to believe Phil and go comfort him. If he’d not been so pissed when he’d gotten there, he would have noticed the emotion earlier. Phil hadn’t been being stoic. He’d been wrapped up in a blanket made of hurt.

  “To put my life on hold again. You know, just for a while.” Phil’s voice was bitter. “Until he’s elected. Or maybe after he runs further. But he’s my family, so I should do it. For him.”

  “You have one crazy-ass family. They destroyed my sweet spot of an apartment with great rent for a crappy city councilman job.” He shook his head. “Maybe all you dumbasses should stay away from me from now on.” He wasn’t sure he meant it, but it came out. If Phil’s family would do that, he wasn’t sure he needed that shade of crazy in his life.

  Neo watched as Phil moved away from him. He stood up straight again, his shoulders square and body erect. “So are you? Going to put your life on hold? Be not gay for a while.”

  Phil turned back. “I told him no, that I had a chance at a life. But it doesn’t matter now anyway. They tried to destroy your life. You’re going to walk away, so it’s not that vital.”

  Phil hadn’t agreed to go into hiding. And if what he was reading between the lines of what Phil said was accurate, Neo had been the cause of that. Now he wanted to hug the man more than ever and smack the shit out of him at the same time.

  Phil glanced down at the clock before Neo could act on impulse. “Oh shit. I gotta get to work.” He grabbed his keys from a bowl by the front door.

  “We’re not done here yet.” Neo hadn’t worked out what he wanted to do, and he didn’t appreciate being told what he was going to do. If he walked away, that would be his decision. Not Phil’s.

  Phil’s smile was a little bitter. “Yeah, we are. You don’t need my family’s brand of crazy love in your life like you said. They already tried to destroy your life. Like I did so many years ago. So we’re done. It’s over.”

  “Phil…”

  “No.” Phil’s voice grew quieter but was the most powerful thing that Neo had ever heard. “I get it. I do.” He walked over, and before Neo knew what was happening, he pressed a quick kiss to Neo’s lips. No tongue. But the passion behind it was palpable. “I’m sorry for what my family did to you. Lock the door when you go out. Have a great life. I won’t bother you again.” He strode to the door and exited his place, leaving Neo standing there staring after him.

  Neo stood for a second, trying to process what had happened. He’d been left. Dismissed. Again. Of all the things he’d expected to happen in trying this relationship with Phil, that wasn’t one of them.

  Neo wasn’t done yet.

  No one walked away from him, except maybe Phil a few years ago, and that hadn’t sat well with Neo. And he wasn’t sure he wanted Phil to walk away right now. As a matter of fact, that Phil was willing to walk was something endearing.

  And for the first time since Phil had strolled into the bar the first night to bartend, Neo knew what he wanted. Things were clearer than they’d been in a long time. Since that day Rose had pushed them together.

  Phil the bartender was about to get a visitor at work.

  Chapter Eleven

  Phil could barely function. He didn’t look at anyone, kept his head down and his emotions tight to his chest. It was the only way he could keep upright and keep from breaking down.

  It was over with his family. He couldn’t be what they wanted him to be. He wasn’t going to put himself on hold for them.

  Worst of all, it was over with Neo. He hadn’
t dared hope they’d get back together, but somehow, they had started again. That was even crueler than if they’d never spoken about the time so many years ago. It hurt that much more.

  In the same day, he’d lost the two things most important to him.

  Phil felt liked he’d been kicked in the throat, guts, and nuts all at the same time. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling.

  A twenty slapped down on the bar. “Mojito, please. I hear you make the best in town.”

  Phil nodded like a robot and almost turned away before the voice registered. He looked up to see Neo’s hand on the twenty and the rest of him on the public side of the bar. “What are you doing here?” His voice sounded lifeless. Dead. It was how he felt. It would be a long time before he felt anything again.

  “You left before we were finished talking.” Neo’s firm hand slid the bill closer to Phil. He clutched the money like those fingers had been wrapped around Phil’s cock. “And I never did get to taste your mojito.”

  Don’t think of sex with Neo. Not now. He had to keep his exterior firm, or he would fall apart. Visions of tequila and salt on skin danced before his eyes. He willed those away. “We were done. I didn’t need you to tell me anything else.” He didn’t reach for the money.

  “We weren’t done.” Neo’s voice sounded impatient. “I hadn’t finished talking to you yet.”

  “You mean searing me a new asshole?” Phil looked up into the sea of bottles above his head and down under the bar. Neo had come to finish the job of yelling at him. He couldn’t take that. Not right now. Not here. Neo was trying to get him fired. Why not? He’d lost every other damn thing that was important to him. Might as well lose his job too. “You’re trying to get me canned.” Phil closed his eyes for a second. For Neo to hate him that much, that was a special place that Phil had never expected to be.

  “What?” Neo’s face blanched. “No, I’m trying—”

  Phil didn’t want to hear it. He threw up his hands. “You know what? Fuck it. I know I did you wrong. I screwed up way back then and now. My family screwed you over. I need to get the hell out of your life. Leave you alone. I get that.” He turned and went to the corner of the bar where the owner stood. “Hey, Ward. I hate to do this to you. But I quit. Effective now. I know Brad is in the back. He can bartend tonight.”

  Neo started sputtering, but Phil didn’t even listen. He didn’t want to hear it. Needed to get out of here before he lost himself any more than he already had. He was headed to the door when a hand caught his arm. He threw it off, and Neo sputtered even more. “Will you let me talk to you?”

  Phil shook his head. He’d kept it together so far. But he needed to get out of here. Before something happened and he exploded. Maybe a new town was even in order. One where he wouldn’t run into Neo, and he wouldn’t embarrass his family any further. A fresh start. “You’ve said enough.”

  “What’s going on here?” Rose wobbled up on heels that put her as the tallest person in the vicinity. “You two lovebirds getting cozy?”

  Ward sashayed by. “Actually, Phil quit the bar.”

  Her head came around so fast that Phil worried her wig might fall off. “What’s that shit?”

  Neo broke in. “We had an argument. He won’t let me say what I need to say. He’s walking out on me, Rose.”

  “You said enough.” Phil repeated the same words again that he’d been saying all along. Maybe this time, Neo would accept them. “I know where I stand. And that’s on the opposite side from where you want to be. It’s okay. I get it, Neo.” He did. If someone had done all this to him, he probably would be walking away too.

  Neo pointed. “See, he’s not listening to me. He’s decided the way this should play out. And that’s that. He won’t let me have any say.”

  Rose clucked her tongue. “I told you two to make up. I told you two to work this out. And from what I heard about the two of you from Saxby’s, I thought you had.” She appraised them both. “You aren’t listening to Neo, Phil?”

  “He’s not. He’s decided for me what is going to happen.” Neo folded his arms across his chest.

  Phil wanted away from this bullshit. But he remained there, trying to keep himself in one piece. He’d make it through this somehow. Neo was the one who had decided long ago that Phil wasn’t worth it. Maybe he was right. Maybe that’s what all this proved.

  Rose held up a well-manicured nail. “I asked Phil. Not you.”

  Neo barely held in a retort, as evidenced by him opening his mouth. It took one finger held up at him by Rose to get him to stop.

  “I screwed up again. And I know Neo’s furious with me, and I need to get away. I don’t need this.” Phil didn’t. It was like going through everything all over again with him as the cause again. He started to walk away, and this time Rose grabbed him.

  “So you aren’t listening to Neo. I can see that now.” Rose looked back and forth between the two of them. “You’re hearing what you want to hear, Phil. Isn’t that what Neo did when you came to work at the bar and after you left him? He wouldn’t let you offer any explanations? How fair was that to you? How fair is it to do it now to Neo?”

  It wasn’t fair at all. Phil felt his body sag. She had a point. “Fine. Finish yelling at me. I’ll take my licks. But I quit. And I will leave you alone after you get in your hits.” He’d never felt so low in his life. Not even when he’d told Neo he loved him, and Neo couldn’t say it back. At least then, there’d been hope. Now there was none. “Get it over with so I can get out of here.”

  Rose waved a hand to Neo. “All right, Neo, you’re on. Say what you gotta say.” She moved aside but stayed there to hear what would transpire.

  Neo looked at Phil. Phil took a deep breath. He wasn’t ready for this. Wasn’t ready to get yelled at again. Not by Neo after what had happened with Mike. But he’d take it and keep moving. It was what he always did.

  Neo steeled himself as though he had something huge to reveal. It should be Phil steeling himself, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Whatever Neo said was going to bring him to his knees regardless of what it was, no matter how much he prepared himself.

  “I love you.”

  Phil froze. Had he heard right? There was no way. This would bring him to his knees, but for a different reason than he’d anticipated. “What?” He needed it repeated so he could decide if he’d heard it correctly.

  Rose chimed in, “I believe Neo said, ‘I lo—”

  “I got this, Rose.” Neo came to Phil’s side. He looked into Phil’s eyes with a gaze that spoke volumes. It was as if Rose had been dismissed or wasn’t even there. And that was a feat in itself.

  “Yeah, do what you gotta do.” Rose was beaming a proud-mama smile like she’d caused all this. And she had by pushing them to get together to work out what was between them. They might never have tied the loose ends back together without her interference.

  “How? What?” Phil still couldn’t believe it.

  “When you were going to walk away, I realized I love you, Phil. I do. I didn’t want you to leave me. I want to make this work.”

  They were words that Phil never thought he would hear. And then Neo was kissing him, lips on his in a tight lock that drove away any and all conscious thought, especially as Neo’s body wrapped around his.

  Neo patted his back, and Phil’s own arm crooked around Neo and held him close. It was like holding heaven in his arms. It was like coming home. He’d never felt the like. He kissed Neo back for all he was worth. He managed to grind out, “I love you too,” before the kiss deepened even further.

  Rose and everyone else watched and then whooped.

  Ward tapped Phil on the shoulder, and the kissing stopped, though Phil didn’t let go of Neo. “You’re not quitting, I guess. But Brad is going to work tonight for you. I insist.”

  Like Phil would argue.

  Carl stood at the edge of the spectators. He was smiling at Rose. He shook his head and mimed, You won.

  Rose beamed and mouthed to him, One down
. And I win this one. And then she moved to his side and kissed him strongly. “You’re going to have to marry me.”

  Phil didn’t have time to ponder what that was about because Neo mumbled, “Good.” And he propelled Phil toward the door. They walked out of the bar arm in arm.

  As they reached the corner near Phil’s car, he stopped. He reached over and pulled Neo in for a kiss.

  “What was that for?” Neo beamed. And squeezed Phil’s ass for good measure, causing Phil’s ass to clench.

  “Complaining?”

  “Hell, no. Just curious.”

  Phil leaned in to plant his lips on Neo’s again. He reveled in the public display of affection. In his brother’s city. Neo was his, and he was Neo’s. He might have lost his family, but at least he had this. And who knew? His brother and sister-in-law might come around after a while. Anything could happen, especially with Neo by his side. “Because I can.”

  “Damn straight. Anytime you want to.” Neo blew out a breath. “I do have to ask something.”

  “What’s that?” It didn’t grip Phil’s heart the way it once would have. He felt like he was walking on air. Didn’t matter what happened long as Neo loved him.

  “Do you know anyone with a truck? I have to move. In two days.” Neo’s mouth drew in a huge frown.

  Phil couldn’t help but start laughing. And real guffaws, not little chuckles. He wasn’t sure why, but he did.

  Neo glared at him, so he sobered up. Apparently whatever Phil found funny, Neo didn’t. Best fix that, or Neo would make him pay. On the other hand, punishments from Neo would be epic.

  Another look from Neo, and Phil stood up straighter. “I do. I know a man with a truck. And after we…”

  “Fuck.”

  “Yeah.” Leave it to Neo to put it so succinctly. “We’ll start packing up your stuff. You can come stay with me as long as you need. If you want to. You don’t have to.” But the offer there, Phil wouldn’t worry if he went somewhere else. After all, he had forever to work on things with Neo because Neo loved him. He’d never get tired of the words.